But enough with the similes. It's time for the review.
*This review contains some minor spoilers for the purpose of critiquing the series as fair and accurately as possible.
Plot: 3/10
What little over reaching plot there is serves as a poor excuse to aimlessly guide the characters through a show that can't quite decide if it wants to be episodic or plot driven. Floating between the two, it visits location after location of new, exciting places, but runs out of them as early as episode nine. The rest of the show then struggles to make up for this fact, by introducing new characters, villains, having old faces re-appear, or traveling back to old locations. For a show that seemed to be oozing creativity at the start, to run out of ideas so quickly is just a shame.
As for the overreaching plot, the show has a terrible habit of throwing in a new villain whenever it wants some plot. Yet these "villains" are all fake. Every single one of them proves themselves harmless and that they never intended the main characters harm all along, leaving every scenario involving them feeling pointless and empty at the end.
What makes the plot worse is it's terrible habit of thinking: blood = edgy and cool. Whenever the show wants to be serious, it'll suddenly have lots of blood. Especially the tried and true "crying tears of blood," a trick that should be extremely rarely used to make it more effective. And yet, this show uses it without a thought, as though it were written by a teenager who once heard, "Hey, this is how you make a cool and exciting story." It's desire to be dark out of nowhere is another disappointment, because not only is it executed poorly, it clashes with the overall tone of the romance and whimsical world. It feels completely out of place here, and I can't imagine why the author is so obsessed with being dark.
Lastly, the plot is interspersed with dry humor where the characters say something that's supposed to be funny and turn into simplistic chibis. The fact that I didn't find the humor amusing on its own would have been fine, I'd of accepted it as just the sort of thing I don't find funny. Yet what annoyed me about it was the chibi aspect. Every single joke, they turn into chibis. Every. Single. Time. It felt like the author was screaming, "LAUGH, THIS IS WHERE YOU LAUGH!!"
Characters: 5/10
Chise: Chise is an extremely bland protagonist. She has dry reactions and thoughts about the incredible environments and people around her, making her a buzz kill to the wonder and whimsical tone of the show. Drowning? Guess she won't try to flail or move at all, just sink to the bottom. Elias transforms? Guess she'll just tell him to turn back or he won't fit in the doorway. She constantly has empty reactions like this.
Now, I've seen people make the argument, "She's depressed, that's just how a depressed person would react." I have friends with depression, and she doesn't strike me as someone that's depressed. A depressed person is someone who feels they have little future, have few wants, and feel horrible whenever someone is nice to them. Chise shows that she has hopes and desires for a future with Elias, and she quickly goes from feeling bad about receiving his love to just accepting it. That's not depression. So, her blandness is just her personality. This personality of her kills my interest in her as a protagonist because it drastically clashes with the setting and tone.
Elias: Elias is a compelling character. He has a truly unique design, a backstory that leaves me eager for more information, and he has an interesting relationship with Silky. And yet, Elias's main point in this story would be his relationship and romance with Chise. A relationship the show failed to invest me in. Elias's stalker tendencies, ominous one liners, and degrading nicknames turn me off from this romance. Don't believe he's a stalker or a creep? Allow me to remind you: he has a tracker on Chise at all times, can follow Chise in her shadow without her realizing it, reminds Chise that she can't refuse him because he owns her, threatens a friend of Chise's because he's jealous that Chise spends time with her, ties Chise down with his tentacles against her will to keep her from leaving him, and calls Chise his puppy. So when this man tells Chise that he wants to marry her, when he also said that she can't refuse him because he owns her, I can't help but hold an extremely low opinion of Elias. He's not meant to come off in this way; he's just supposed to be childish. And yet, the writer doesn't know how to write Elias's lines and actions without him coming across as a creep rather than just being immature.
Cartaphilus: Remember how I said all the villains are fakes? There is one exception in Cartaphilus. Yet even then, he's not a particular good character. He's a villain that starts out like a cliché psychopath that we've seen in a hundred different shows, with little to separate him from other characters of his trope other than he really HATES being called a certain name. So while he's not that compelling at first, at least he's a real villain, right? Not really. Later the show works hard to undo any progress it made building him up as a villain.
Music: 9/10
Wit Studio has a whimsical and grand soundtrack that brings forth the majesty and splendor of the world of Ancient Magus Bride.
Animation: 10/10
Of course, breathtaking landscapes and smooth movement are abound with Wit Studio at the helm.
All around, Ancient Magus Bride is a heap of wasted potential. Its many failed villains, the utter lack of new places to explore in the second half, and it's poorly executed protagonists come together to create a show that constantly disappointed me after the beginning set itself up as an unforgettable glimpse into a world of magic. For those interested in experiencing the beautiful world and stunning animation, give it a shot. Just don't buy into the hype everyone's trying to feed you.
