Reviews

Oct 22, 2013
Panzer Dragoon is four video game series developed by Team Andromeda and released by Sega. While the latter three installments were very good games in their own right, it was their aesthetics that made them transcendent. The visual and sound design did more than the plot and dialogue to paint a world littered with the remnants of a fallen civilization (similar to El Hazard: The Magnificent World), giving everything a poignant, almost-gloomy atmosphere.

Don't expect any of that here.

This OVA is a cheap rush job of a tie-in to the (mediocre) first game, a trite, directionless adaptation of something that really didn't have much of a plot to begin with. It becomes clear very quickly that they are only paying the slightest lip service to the empire and their huge role in the series, with their scenes serving only as useless padding that could be cut altogether. The story they actually care about is just yet another "young guy's love interest is kidnapped and a magical creature helps him rescue her... and also save the world or something".

Events happen with little development and everything about it seems designed to hit every infuriating fantasy cliche possible. The characters (all eight of them, only half of which really matter) are all transplants from a million other heroic fantasy stories. They think and speak only in the bluntest exposition, little of which adds up to any cohesive explanation of the world or the motivations of anybody but the simplistic hero. Not a minute goes by without something infuriatingly stupid happening, with plot points that go nowhere and sudden, unexplained powers cropping up out of nowhere. It's really clear this is a completely-missing-the-point adaptation of something with considerably more depth than they cared to put into this production.

Attention must be given to the groan-worthy translation. This was only released dubbed and the original Japanese version (subtitled or otherwise) doesn't seem to exist on the internet. The script is at best unbearably corny, at worst tone-deaf and unintentionally creepy in the way the hero keeps referring to his kidnapped love interest as "his lady" as if she were a stolen trinket. Nothing anybody says sounds like anything a real human being would say.

The actors deliver their lines in the classic bad dub style of hammy indifference, everybody sounding like they're thinking about their grocery shopping instead of conveying any convincing emotion. No attempt is made to line up the speech with the lip flaps and there are many moments where I'm convinced they gave characters lines that weren't in the original.

The animation is a discordant mix of traditional 2D cells and CGI. It's pretty clear they took the 3D models straight from the game and did zilch to give them any real weight or presence, with awful integration of the two styles. The human character designs are stock mid-90s anime fantasy designs with nothing to really distinguish them and their body language doesn't really match their supposed emotions. The dragons are taken directly from the game, so they at least look passable while sitting still, but move in a weightless, inconsistent manner. The fights are laughably bad in their cinematography and pacing while also lacking any real impact.

The sound isn't as bad as the animation, but it's still subpar. The dialogue is often murky and drowned out by the ambiance, but generally doesn't sound like it really exists within the world. The sound effects sound like they come from one of those CD compilations and fail to give any weight to the actions they accompany, made worse by the couple-frame delay of many of them. The music of the video game series didn't really find its unique voice until the second game, so this has the cheesy synth-orchestra score from the first game. It doesn't even base it on any of the actual good tracks (the main theme or either version of "Flight"), instead sounding like generic fantasy mush.

I'm not even sure I'd recommend this as so bad, it's good. It's mostly just sad and pathetic, really. It's certainly a study in how not to produce a fantasy story, but only in ways that are self-evident to a well-read twelve year old. It's twenty six minutes of your life you won't be getting back and considering how obscure it is, you won't even get the benefit of at least being able to talk about it with others. Just don't bother.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
What did you think of this review?
Nice Nice0
Love it Love it0
Funny Funny0
Show all
It’s time to ditch the text file.
Keep track of your anime easily by creating your own list.
Sign Up Login