Over the past few years, there has been what some might call a glut of adorable low-stakes isekai/VRMMO shows with cute OP female protagonists going on fluffy magical adventures… and ‘Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear’ (DAH BEARS... just kidding. We'll call it '3KB') just might be the most cutest, fluffiest and adorable-est of them all.
Literally everything about this show is absolutely fucking precious. The music, the artwork, the characters, the adventures, and even the motherfuckin’ title - all of it will bombard your every sense with the purest essence of cute-itude. There is not a single moment in 3KB which is lacking in cuteness, even when
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Dec 15, 2020
Hana yori Dango
(Anime)
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I do not believe there is a language in existence with the proper words to convey just how much I despise this fucking show. I can honestly say that, without a doubt, watching "Boys Over Flowers" (BARF) was the most excruciating anime experience in all my life. Never before have I so hated almost every character in a show so fucking much that I found myself vainly waiting for them all to be slaughtered in a school shooting or terrorist attack, only to be met with disappointment when the sadly death-free ending is framed as a happy one.
I want to make this perfectly clear: ... In no way are my words intended to be hyperbolic. I truly do so hate this show with every fiber of my being; so much so, in fact, that I will immediately think the worst of anyone who likes it because only someone who is ignorant, stupid, deluded and/or a complete piece of shit could possibly enjoy this show... and there are absolutely no exceptions to this rule. Yeah, fucking fight me, bitches. So, yeah, scores. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo... Story: 1 Art: 6 Sound: 6 Characters: 1 Enjoyment: 1 OVERALL: ***ZERO OUT OF TEN*** By the way, I am going to spoil the shit out of BARF because fuck this show, and I am not going to bother using any of the characters' names because fuck each and every one of them with a razor-wire dildo. Now let's get this over with... STORY: BARF is little more than a cheap hetero/co-ed bastardization of the fantastic shoujo classic 'Oniisama e...', as both revolve around a high school girl from a comparatively-modest background finding herself unwittingly-involved with a clique of popular stuck-up rich kids, and getting bullied mercilessly as a result of the association. In this case, a girl from a poor family gets into a prestigious high school, but ends up becoming public enemy #1 on campus after she stands up to the leader of an influential clique of spoiled rich douchebags with the most fragile bitch-ass egos in existence. Because she does the right thing, the childish rich kids order everyone in the school to bully her without mercy, which results in the entire school body constantly abusing her at every opportunity. Throughout all 51 episodes of this pitiful excuse for a show, girls and boys alike take turns literally beating her into the ground, often with baseball bats, as though she were an evil piñata full of diamonds or something. At one point, a number of boys even tie her up to a fucking sports car and drag her behind it, with half the school cheering it on like it were a sporting event. Add to this several sexual assaults, a few murder attempts and at least one forcible kidnapping, and you've got yourself at least a few life sentences' worth of felonious behavior by at least half of the cocksuckers who attend this horrid school... which never once attracts the attention of pretty much any authority figure able or willing to intervene. Pretty fucking despicable, right? Well, just you wait, because we're not done yet! The show then attempts to trick you into thinking these snooty jackasses are actually good people by having them retaliate against some of her most violent attackers, but what the idiot author(s) apparently forgot is that they were the one who ordered their classmates to do this shit in the first place, never made a real effort to put a stop to the attacks once and for all, and instigated further violence whenever she did something that even remotely displeased these fucking losers. And to think people defend them... This is where it starts getting especially twisted, though. The ringleader of this douchetarded little clique, the one who is by far the most responsible for every bit of the misery I just mentioned, professes his love for the MC early in the show, and maintains his love for her even as he arranges for her future misery. Even worse, whenever the MC rebuffs his rapey advances or simply refuses to reciprocate his confessed feelings, what does he do? Handle rejection maturely and move on with his life? HE FUCKING SLAPS HER! This happens so many times, in fact, that I got desensitized to it after a while. And now, finally, here is the worst part: Not only does the whiny prick responsible for all of her misery profess his love to her early on in the show, but he ends up being the one she chooses in the end! True to form for this piece-of-shit series, our bruised & battered MC ends up developing one of the most hardcore cases of Stockholm Syndrome ever displayed, and chooses to eventually marry the most stupid, ridiculous and abusive man-baby in all of Japan! I lost all sympathy for this foolish ditz when she refused to disassociate from these overprivileged pricks, but this decision made me almost wish the schoolchildren actually succeeded in murdering her. Fuck this shit. ART: Whatever. The smiles look fucking weird. SOUND: Whatever. Who cares what a pile of shit sounds like anyways? CHARACTERS: As I said earlier, I so hated this group of taint-licks that I wished for them all to die the most horrific deaths imaginable by the time I reached the fifth episode. Hardly anyone is even remotely redeemable, from the MC & her family to the rich douche-nozzles & their families, and the only characters who display anything akin to a decent personality are auxiliary characters who, for the most part, have relatively-little influence on what inevitably transpires and even become apologists on occasion. ENJOYMENT: In order to mitigate the discomfort of having my senses abused by this deplorable atrocity, I literally watched the vast majority of this series by playing it at 2x speed and fast-forwarding through every non-dialogue scene. If anything, perhaps I will consider this an especially-painful rite of passage, if only to justify my suffering through this turd sandwiched between stiffer turds. ---------------------- IN SUMMATION: If you genuinely enjoy BARF, you are a terrible person and I hope equally-terrible things happen to you until the day you die, which I will joyfully celebrate. Just kidding... not.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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Dec 15, 2020
Watashi ga Motete Dousunda
(Anime)
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Who knew it could be so entertaining to watch a high school girl fantasize about her guy friends butt-fucking each other? And why didn't you silly bastards tell me about this shit?! Inconsiderate assholes.
'Kiss Him, Not Me' (KHNM) was an incredible surprise to me. Despite what I found to be a rather interesting premise, I approached this series with hesitation, fearing that it might end up being just another cookie-cutter romance between oblivious fools constantly overreacting to stupid misunderstandings, as is often the case with seemingly-odd romances nowadays... or perhaps something even worse, considering the touchy subject matter. Thankfully, though, what I got was not ... only an atypical romance, but one of the funniest shows I have seen in quite some time, one that had me in stitches from beginning to end. The strangest part: I'm not even a fan of yaoi! Before we get to the fun shit, here is how I scored this hidden gem: Story: 7 Art: 9 Sound: 8 Characters: 9 Enjoyment: 10 OVERALL: *9/10* Instead of giving a traditional review, I decided it would be more fun to rate Kae's potential love interests and delve into their personalities a bit, beginning with the worst and going from there: *DISCLAIMER: LIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD* 5. Shinomiya Hayato - Shinomiya is the beta-male of the group: He is short, weak, cowardly & spineless, and suffers from a slight case of "small man syndrome" as a result. Aside from constantly kissing Kae's ass and following what everyone else is doing, he constantly attempts to show off by acting macho, which, considering his utter lack of anything resembling manliness, usually fails in a hilarious fashion. Shinomiya is one of two suitors who is clearly only interested in Kae because of her looks, making him especially unlikable in my eyes. I rated Shinomiya as the worst among them because, not only does he have the least in common with Kae, but he was the only character to openly look down on her with contempt before losing the weight. Fuck this punk-ass bitch. 4. Nanashima Nozomu - Arrogant, stupid, ill-tempered and not at all shy about being shallow, Nanashima is more your stereotypical high school douchebag. He excels in sports and knows how to fight, but there isn't much else about him that is particularly redeeming on paper, at least compared to the rest of the suitors. Nanashima is the other suitor who is only interested in Kae because of her appearance, and he is easily Kae's most aggressive pursuer: making the most overt sexual advances towards her; becoming try-hard whenever he feels outdone in some way; and even being the only love interest who literally tried forcing himself on her (albeit in a state of "delirium"). He is barely saved from being the worst of the suitors, though, by his resemblance to Kae's favorite anime character, his positive relationship with his sister, and his eagerness to defend Kae when she is in danger... and yes, the so-called "nice guy" ought 3. Igarashi Yusuke - And now, we have reached the "cool guy" of the group. Igarashi is pretty much your standard male protagonist in romance anime: He is popular, athletic, bright, confident, assertive and even kind - the type of guy who almost every girl (or guy) in the school would want, and already the ideal romantic protagonist. Igarashi also goes through the most character development in the series, especially with regards to his feelings for Kae, and, despite being an ideal romantic interest from the get-go, he is perhaps the most-relatable character in the entire series. While he is leaps & bounds ahead of the two aforementioned douche-nozzles in terms of desirability, there are still two people who exceed him as romantic interests, at least in my eyes. 2. Shima Nishina - There are some things that a man simply cannot do, and that is where Shima comes into the picture. A prodigy in many ways, Shima is our resident lesbian and has more in common with Kae than the other four combined; in fact, not only are they both otakus with similar tastes, but Shima is a doujinshi author who has written some of Kae's favorite titles! Shima also fell in love with Kae before she lost weight, so there is no doubt that her feelings are genuine. It was a tough decision, but I had to rate her a very close second because she can be a bit smothering, possessive and enabling, which negatively-affects Kae more than once. 1. Mutsumi Asuma - There are "nice guys," and then there are genuinely nice guys... and Mutsumi is most definitely the latter. Also popular with the ladies, Mutsumi is that quiet, easygoing and a little absent-minded type who draws you in with his pleasant nature and infectious aura without any effort whatsoever. From the very first time he is introduced, it is obvious that he liked Kae for who she was from the beginning; in fact, he was the most indifferent to her new-found beauty, and the only one who recognized her immediately post-transformation. He gets the top spot, though, because he is the most honest, forthright, empathetic and supportive of all the potential suitors; best of all, while he doesn't exactly share her interests, he has no issues with participating in any of Kae's hobbies, and even volunteers to serve as a muse on more than one occasion. Mee-yaoi! ----------------------- Does this list match up with yours, or do you find someone else more deserving of Kae's affections? Perhaps you want the guys to fuck each other senselessly as well, or maybe you wanted the ladies to do some hardcore macking+muff-diving. Whatever the case may be, one thing is for certain: as long as there is some homo-ness in the air, Kae will be there to faithfully observe from behind the pillars... with drool running down her chin all the while.
Reviewer’s Rating: 9
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Dec 28, 2019
Quanzhi Fashi III
(Anime)
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Now that you have made it to season three of Quanzhi Fashi (QF3), you have watched Mo Fan grow from a hopeless flunkie to one of the strongest mages in Bo City, and then put those skills to the test when the city was demolished by frenzied monsters, set loose on the populace as part of a well-planned scheme by the mysterious & evil Black Order. Now, after emerging from the rubble of his hometown a battle-hardened hero and moving to the magic capital, Mo Fan knows that he must get even stronger if he is to survive the evils of this world, and has
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set his sights on attending the most prestigious magic university in the country. What awaits our intrepid hero in this latest chapter of his journey, you ask?
As with my reviews of the previous seasons, I will try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible; however, in this case, there may be some light spoilers, due to numerous facets of the story. With that said, here are the scores for this season: Story: 7 Art: 5 Sound: 7 Characters: 8 Enjoyment: 9 OVERALL: *7/10* STORY: The story for QF3 is sort of a happy medium between the past two seasons, both in terms of content and timeframe. This first half of the season focuses on Mo Fan's first year or so after surviving the Bo City Disaster, during which he moves to the Magic Capitol, enrolls in Ming Zhu Institution and starts his college career; the second half of the season is more about a specific incident, one which yet again forces Mo Fan to fight for survival whilst putting his life on the line in order to save those around him. One of the biggest highlights of this season for me is the expansion of the lore. This time around, you learn much more about the different types of magic, including a deeper exploration of elements only barely mentioned in the previous seasons. You also learn about some more advanced levels of magic, different ways a mage can gain stronger abilities, the variety of magic equipment, and other details which give you a more complete picture of magic and just how little Mo Fan actually knows, despite his already-OP abilities. In addition to the exploration of magic, this season also reminds us of the fact that Quanzhi Fashi is something of an isekai anime at heart, and addresses this issue far more than even the first season. The change in Mo Fan’s world is still a mystery that needs to be unraveled, after all, and QF3 gives the impression that this mystery is likely going to be of ever-increasing importance down the road. This brings us to perhaps the biggest improvement in QF3: the ending (or lack thereof). Unlike the prior seasons, which had extremely-abrupt endings that came off as rushed, in part because the endings were also the climaxes, this season actually has something of a gradual "cool-down" after the climactic battle, and even sets up for a continuation of the story, all whilst stopping at a perfect point in the story. This is easily the best-executed ending in the series thus far, and it made waiting for QF4 to finally drop a little more painful than normal. ART: I would put the production quality of QF3 about on par with that of last season, which is really about what you would expect at this point. While nothing looks particularly terrible, the animation is still sub-par. SOUND: It’s there, and it works. I suppose the music is alright, but it is still nothing compared to the first season's smooth, sexy jazz licks. CHARACTERS: In the last season, you saw a number of supporting characters really get some development, and that trend has continued in QF3. This time around, though, Mo Fan is basically starting from scratch in a new city, so there is a brand new supporting cast. There are a few notable connections he builds, from new friends to business colleagues, and a few of these get a fair deal of attention. There are also several characters who get set up to develop more, should we get another season released. The character who develops the most, though, is Mo Fan himself, perhaps more so than the other two seasons combined. Not only does his strength increase considerably, but you watch him grow as a person in a number of ways, both personally and professionally. He begins to not only establish his priorities in life, but set for himself a number of personal goals to achieve, both short-term and long-term. While he is still a male in his late-teens, you get the impression that he is really coming into his own, and becoming a force to be reckoned with all the while. ENJOYMENT: In my opinion, this season is the most enjoyable of the series thus far. QF3 sets itself apart from its predecessors is by giving us some of the best that both of the prior seasons had to offer: The first half is more slice-of-life, as in QF1, following Mo Fan’s efforts to get stronger and more well-connected; the second half is related to a specific conflict, much like QF2, albeit without much of the dystopian feel. When you aren’t cheering for Mo Fan, you are being drawn in by the world in which he resides, ever curious to learn more about his society and the magic upon which it relies. I was having fun through every moment of this season, and I can’t wait to see what happens next! _____________ IN SUMMATION: QF3 is the best season of this series yet: It takes everything that worked with the prior seasons, and combines them into one season full of Mo Fan kicking ass all over town. While there have been no improvements in production quality compared to QF2, the story and characters are just as solid, but with more extensive world-building. This is a great continuation of Mo Fan’s journey, and I hope this won’t be the last time we see him on the tele.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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Dec 24, 2019
Quanzhi Fashi II
(Anime)
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I do not understand why people hate Quanzhi Fashi: Part Deux (QF2) so much. While it is somewhat of a departure from the formula of the first season, the production has improved significantly and a number of story elements are far more compelling, making this season seem more "full" in many respects. While QF2 is, like the previous season, by no means a masterpiece, what it gets right outshines what it gets wrong.
Like my review of the first season (QF1), this will be pretty much spoiler-free, only this time, instead of going into detail about every facet of its production & execution, I will be ... focusing on its strengths & weaknesses in comparison to QF1, to give you an idea of what to expect without giving anything away. With that said, let's get the scores out of the way: Story: 7 Art: 5 Sound: 7 Characters: 7 Enjoyment: 8 Overall: *7/10* STORY: There are a number of major differences between the two seasons in terms of story progression, some of which make them flow in a completely different fashion. First. while QF1 is something of a coming-of-age story that comprises a period of roughly 4-1/2 years, covering Mo Fan's high school career, QF2 is more of a quasi-dystopian tale that takes place over the course of less than a week, and details the events surrounding the "Bo City Disaster." As a result of this, the story isn't nearly as MC-centric as it was in QF1, especially since Mo Fan is in the midst of a citywide catastrophe and thus not the only major player in the story. Finally, because you are seeing multiple perspectives of the same events over a far shorter period of time, the story moves much more slowly than it did in QF1, creating a viewing experience almost completely unlike its predecessor. One thing that the seasons share, though, is the abruptness of their endings. Unfortunately, this is one aspect in which QF2 especially disappoints - while the ending in QF1 was so easy to predict that you pretty much knew what would happen by the 4th episode, it was still quite entertaining and met my expectations for a good finale; in QF2, the ending was a bit anticlimactic, not too believable and kind of cheap by comparison. This was a bit of a letdown, but the blow was lessened by the fact that I binge-watched all three seasons in one sitting when I first saw this series. ART: The animation in QF2 is MUCH better. Almost immediately, it became obvious to me that considerably more effort was put into the art. While the character designs are a little more plainly-drawn, the action scenes flow much more smoothly and do not contain the shit-tastic panels that sprang up in QF1 from time to time. Perhaps the greatest improvement in production quality, though, is in the monster designs, which are leaps and bounds ahead of its predecessor. In the first season, the monsters never really give you the impression that you should be all that scared of them, as they moved slowly and looked kind of dopey. In the second season, however, that could not be farther from the truth: Every monster depicted looks terrifyingly deadly and evil, like something that would haunt even a grown man’s nightmares. While the one-eyed rats in QF1 looked like cycloptic green penis Twinkies, and moved about as gracefully, the rats in QF2 actually look like giant, bloodthirsty, man-eating rats that would literally enjoy killing you. The wolves are no exception; in fact, they are so ruthless & menacing that they make the new-and-improved rats look almost stupid and silly by comparison. Even worse for Bo City, there are now at least three “species” of wolves they encounter, each one exponentially more horrific than the last. Finally, you have the “black-raised monsters,” which are a uniquely threatening presence and often a sign of much worse things to come. It’s amazing what a detail like this can do to alter an entire production: Before, there was talk of the dangers monsters posed to humanity, but you never got a sense of the true gravity of the situation; in QF2, however, you are shown exactly why humanity’s very existence is threatened by these creatures just by how they look, which is actually pretty impressive. Despite my praise for the improvement in production quality, I do need to make one thing absolutely clear: The animation is still not very good. Make no mistake, corners are still being cut and the characters’ movements are still pretty stiff & unnatural at times, so do not expect a stunning visual experience from any season of QF. This is still low-budget trash, but it is trash that just so happens to be very entertaining because it still gets a lot of things right. SOUND: There is really not much to say here, except that the voice acting improved and the sound effects are generally not too bad. The music isn’t nearly as enjoyable in this season, though, but I don’t watch anime for the music. CHARACTERS: Perhaps the most significant change in this season is the development of many secondary characters and Mo Fan’s interactions with those around him, which makes this story a little more interesting & engaging. In QF1, the series was focused entirely on Mo Fan & his high school career, so other characters did not get (or need) much development beyond their initial establishment. In QF2, the focus is more on a specific event in Mo Fan’s city, so you almost have no choice but to rely more on supporting characters, which QF2 handles surprisingly well. In addition, you see how the rest of society react to the catastrophe, from military magicians to regular people, and you get an interesting glimpse into how this society is run. I don’t want to give away too many details about the characters and spoil the fun, but there were a few shining character moments I would like to mention: - As one might expect, there are a number of tragic deaths, and each one ends up conveying something of substance about some of the surviving characters... although one such moment will make absolutely no sense (you will cringe when you see it). - Mo Fan literally threatens to kill one of his classmates if he doesn’t shut the fuck up, and it is a gloriously satisfying moment. That entire scene is pretty badass, and it helps further expose the extent of Mo Fan’s ruthlessness as well as his resolve. - Several characters get a chance to shine, and one character turns out to be far more honorable than one might expect... while at least two others are revealed to be much worse. ENJOYMENT: Like I said in my introduction, I don’t quite understand why this season gets so much heat. I really liked QF2 and found it to be technically superior to QF1, especially since it looks better and has a more “focused” story, but people really seem to think otherwise, for some reason. While I may enjoy this season ever so slightly less than QF1, mainly due to the lackluster ending, there isn’t much that justifies the level of hatred. My theory is that the timeframe has a lot to do with it, since they do feel different as a result, but perhaps there is something I’m missing…? ----------------------- IN SUMMATION: While this season does have a more disappointing ending than the last, QF2 is a major improvement in most other respects: The production quality is a couple notches higher; the monsters actually look scary; the supporting characters get significantly more attention; and there is a more cohesive & well-defined plot. There are also some differences in tone, scope and timeframe that fans of QF1 may not expect, but one should not overlook this season just because of such details. In the end, QF2 is an entertaining, action-packed adventure through a hellish cityscape with likable characters trying to make it out of a disastrous & terrifying situation, and it makes for a fine continuation of the series.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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Dec 23, 2019 Recommended
"You can attack me as many times as you like. I'll heal up every single time, and then bring this staff down upon the head of the person who insulted my friends." - Pauline, very cutely, and with a cute smile. I think you can see where this is going...
My feelings about 'Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average in the Next Life?!' (Noukin) can be summed up with four simple words: I LOVE this show! That's right, I fucking said it: I. FUCKING. LOVE. THIS. SHOW. Do something about it. Because there are a few aspects of this show which will displease those who ... use a fine crystal wine glass to savor the aroma of their farts, here is a friendly little disclaimer: - Yes, it's another isekai anime. - Yes, there are plenty of tropes. - Yes, it probably doesn't follow the source material to the letter. - Yes, there is a beach episode... well, half-episode. And a bath scene or four. - Yes, there are quite a few boob jokes. - And yes, the plot is not 100% original. In other words, anyone who has a stick up their ass jostled by the aforementioned should instead go watch 'Your Lie in April' or some other puke of a series that pretends to be all deep and shit. I don't want them sitting at my table anyways! ANYWAYS... Simply put, Noukin is ADORABLE! Seriously, everything about it makes you want to let out one of those "aw, look at the cute puppy" sighs and hug a giant teddy bear. The MC is just the most precious thing you've ever seen, and the rest of her party is a basket of cute-itude, with varying degrees of damage. And the pop culture references? Fucking golden! There were 'Dragon Ball' and 'Terminator 2' references that had me in literal tears - shit, if I were tripping on mushrooms when I saw them, I might have died of laughter. Oh, and that OP is just cute with a capital Q-T! Noukin truly is a delightful surprise that is drenched in fun & cute, and is probably my favorite show of the year. So, about dem scores: Story: 7 Art: 8 Sound: 10 Characters: 10 Enjoyment: 10 Overall: *9/10* In the future, I may expand this to delve into every category more thoroughly; in the meantime, though, here is my list of the notable pros & cons: PROS: - Noukin knows exactly what it is: A cute & self-aware quasi-spoof on its own genre, but without neglecting the character development or story progression. - The main characters are just delightful in every respect. The designs are somewhat familiar, yet each character still displays a refreshing uniqueness. Not only that, they flesh out each character's personality & backstory quite well, and none of the characters feel sidelined in any respect... oh, and did I mention their cuteness? - From start to finish, this show is fucking HILARIOUS! I was caught completely off-guard by the humor, and I couldn't be happier about it. There is plenty of meta-humor, well-executed references to other works, situational comedy and even a bit of black humor here and there. Every single episode had me in stitches at some point, even if "some heavy shit was going down," as you hip kids love to say. - The production quality is solid, including both the animation and sound design. None of the corner-cutting seen in other recent isekai releases, such as 'Arifureta' or 'Demon Lord, Retry!', is present in this series. From the very first scenes, you can tell that all sorts of well-animated cuteness is in store for you. - Romance is rarely even mentioned in the show, and sex itself is discussed even less than that, which is incredibly welcomed. While there is some pervy-ish humor and light fanservice, it is fairly benign and not at all gratuitous, which could have easily ruined this show. At no point are the girls portrayed as mere sex objects, nor are they ever overly-sexualized. Only one character ever inspires open expressions of lust from men, due to her large bosom, but those moments are few & far between and in no way define her as a character. There is a beach half-episode, a few short bath scenes and some boob jokes strewn throughout, but the execution is more tasteful than most and always seemed appropriate: the bath scenes are pretty tame; the boob jokes are usually related to the MC's "breast envy," which actually makes sense in this case, since the MC was a young adult when she died; and much of this humor in the series comes in part from the MC's actions inadvertently clashing with the societal ignorance & modesty of her new world... plus cuteness. - Perhaps the best part of the "sexual mildness," though, is that the girls are never subjected to any rapey behavior, much less rapey behavior presented as "goofy antics," as is the case in dumpster fires like 'How Not to Summon a Douche Lord.' Enough said. it's nice to watch something a little more on the "innocent" end of the spectrum once in a while no? - Did I mention the cuteness? - Oh, and before I forget: NO PANTY SHOTS! - None of the girls' voices are annoyingly shrill or squeaky. Thank fucking god. - CGI is used both sparingly and appropriately. THANK. FUCKING. GOD. - That fucking OP, though! ^_^ CONS (maybe): - Some of the mood shifts are a bit jarring, which is usually intentional, and the humor can seem inappropriate for the situation(s) at hand. Oftentimes, there are hilarious moments in the midst of dramatic situations, which can be incongruous with the overall mood of the scene. I myself enjoyed this aspect of the series, but I can see how it would be off-putting to some. - The show is somewhat episodic and the overall story may be a little thin. I don't personally find this an issue because the story is really about the friendship & first adventures of these four girls and doesn't need to be anything more than that; however, I can understand if someone desires more suspense or a more defined plot, so it bears mentioning nonetheless. IN SUMMATION: If you are looking for a cute, fun and accessible isekai anime about powerful magical girls that aren't glorified sex toys going on adventures in a Medieval-esque fantasy world, then you have hit the motherfuckin' jackpot with Noukin! At its core, this is a heartwarming tale of a young girl's second chance at life and the friends she makes along the way, and it tells the story without relying on cheap gimmicks or crossing into ecchi territory. Noukin is a refreshingly adorable & guilt-free comedy about four strong female characters that has wide appeal without alienating typical anime fans, and should not be overlooked simply because it happens to be another isekai about an overpowered MC. Come for the cute, stay for the funny!
Reviewer’s Rating: 9
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Dec 15, 2019
One Punch Man 2nd Season
(Anime)
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Mixed Feelings I just watched the last episode of One Punch Man, Part Deux (OPM2), and I have to say, I feel a bit underwhelmed and even a little cheated. The series seemed to be heading to this epic crescendo, developing a number of interesting characters and building up the suspense of an impending doom until... meh happened. Seriously. Man, what a fucking letdown. I'm going to make this short & sweet, much like what should have happened to this season's story: Story: 5 Art: 10 Sound: 9 Characters: 7 Enjoyment: 6 OVERALL: *6/10* ... The main issue I have with OPM2 is that the entire thing seems almost like a commercial for the next season. You feel everything building up to a crucial moment, and then you realize halfway through the last episode that the moment you've been waiting for... will be in the next season of OPM! Talk about blue balls, huh? It feels somewhat similar in spirit to 'The Empire Strikes Back,' but in that classic film, there were high stakes for the main characters when the cliffhanger was dropped on the unsuspecting masses - in this case, the ending finally reaches us and it's just, like, yeah, whatevs. Great. w00t. There are a few other flaws with this series: 1) The plot could have been crunched down to three episodes. For a 12-episode season, not much really happened. Perhaps the season was simply too short? Regardless, I would say this season is full of what one might call "empty calories." 2) While there is action throughout, you don't feel the gravity of the situation or the consequences of any character's actions, save for Saitama (which is mainly through flashbacks) and Garo (obviously). There are definitely notable events, but it doesn't seem like all that much happened. Again, empty calories. 3) The ending was far too abrupt. It reminded me of Quanzhi Fashi's second season, which concluded in a similarly-unimpressive fashion, even though both end with OP fight scenes. Of course, OPM2 looks MUCH better than QF2 and its ending is far more believable, but still... IN SUMMATION: While OPM2 excelled in terms of production and had some solid character development, it was ultimately neutered by its underwhelming plot, lack of sufficient gravity and ho-hum ending. There is definitely enjoyment to be had from watching it, but I would suggest waiting until season 3 concludes, and then just binge-watch the entire motherfucker in one sitting - trust me, it will (probably?) feel like the show was more worth the investment... well, unless season 3 blows goats.
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
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Dec 15, 2019 Not Recommended
I would describe 'How Not to Summon a Douche Lord' (HNTSADL) as something of a mixed bag, but with a rape-shaped hole in the bottom. While the show does have some redeeming qualities - the story is interesting enough, the production quality is on-point, and there are plenty of entertaining action sequences - these qualities are far outweighed by its faults. This series suffers from one major flaw in particular, though, one so fatal that any positive aspects it possesses are rendered essentially meaningless: The characters fucking suck. Especially the MC.
Just to get it out of the way, here are the scores for this piece ... of shit: Story: 5 Art: 8 Sound: 7 Characters: 1 Enjoyment: 4 Overall: *3/10* Instead of delving into every aspect of this series, I am going to focus my attention on the character(s) and why they are so horrible that the entire show is ruined as a result. I hope you're prepared... Almost every issue with the characters in HNTSADL stems from the fact that the MC is a disgusting loser and a sexual predator, and this appraisal is ignoring the fact that he was a shut-in NEET before he was isekai'd. Right from the beginning, you get an idea of what an envious & spiteful douchebag this guy is when he gleefully talks about how he gets more enjoyment than usual from killing couples in an MMORPG, because that's healthy. His emotional immaturity is made more apparent throughout the series, and reaches a climax of sorts when he reacts to one character ostensibly leaving him by completely shutting down & rolling up into a ball like a toddler. Jesus fucking Christ! After he is transformed into his RPG character, he immediately gets two slaves due to a magical mishap, and it doesn't take long for him to exploit that. Throughout the series, he repeatedly molests both of them, even while they are asleep; even worse, he literally tries to rape another female character when he gets drunk, and only fails to do so because he passed out from the intoxication. This behavior is usually accompanied by his exceedingly-gross inner monologue, a significant portion of which is focused on the breasts of the women around him. Do you know how unsettling it is to hear a grown-ass man describe, in great detail, the developing breasts of a teenaged girl as he is molesting her while she sleeps? Unfortunately, I do now. This grossness is further accentuated by the implication that he is somehow not in control of his own body at times, and his hands are molesting the girls of their own volition despite his internal protests. Yeah, you can fuck right off with that bullshit. This brings us to what I feel is the worst aspect of this behavior: Everything I have described is portrayed in a "comedic" fashion. That's right, the show presents the behavior of a bona fide pedophile as though it were funny, and his crimes are merely goofy antics. Yeah, there is just one problem with this: It was not fucking funny! Now, I come from the "George Carlin School of Thought," if you will, so I believe literally anything can be funny, including sexual assault; however, as Carlin pointed out in the aptly-titled routine "Rape Can Be Funny," it all depends on how the joke is constructed. Comedy relies, in part, on the subversion of one's expectations through humorous exaggeration, and that is why the underlying premise of any good rape joke is the fact that rape is, in fact, a horrible crime that can (will) destroy a person's life. In other words, if you tell a joke about rape or sexual assault, it better come from the right place or you will just end up looking like a disgusting creep. Example of the latter: HNTSADL. The reason none of these attempts at humor worked is because the only thing goofy about these assaults was the array of faces he was making while half-heartedly telling his hands to stop, which means, in the end, you are just watching some pathetic loser with poor self-control molest a couple sleeping teenagers. Fucking despicable. I am going to compare this shit to a series called 'Green Green' (GG), which is an objectively awful series in pretty much every way. For all of its flaws, though, GG was still able to pull off "rapey-ish humor" just enough to have me chuckling once in a while. Why, you ask? Well, there a few reasons for this: 1) The idiots in GG would concoct plans so ridiculously stupid that you can't help but laugh at the absurdity; 2) They always failed spectacularly and embarrassingly; and 3) They usually suffered even more spectacularly as a result of their failures - one of the pedo-fucktards gets a cactus shoved in his face and another gets ass-raped by a bear, to give a couple examples. Seriously, to be outdone by GG in any way is just fucking sad... well, except for that "bear rape" scene, which is amaze-ballz. Also, Togemura conquers ALL foes... bitches. My gripes with the rest of the character pool are pretty typical, but don't necessarily apply to all of the characters in the show: annoying; one-dimensional; unbelievable; worthless; etc. The biggest issue I have with the other characters, though, is their general acceptance of Douche Lord's behavior, which I found to be uncharacteristic of several, um, characters. I may elaborate more on these issues in the future, but I am not sure it is worth my time to do so, considering that pretty much all of the characters are fairly cookie-cutter anyways. IN SUMMATION: HNTSADL is glorified pedo-hentai masquerading as a shounen action series. While there are some pretty cool fight scenes strewn throughout the show, you are also subjected to numerous instances of sexual assault being perpetrated by the childish & pathetic loser of an MC, whose mere presence is the main reason this show is such a piece of shit. Here is my advice: If you like action, then watch the fight scenes on some YouTube alternative and and skip the rest, because you're not missing too much that is worthy of note, much less praise.
Reviewer’s Rating: 3
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Oct 10, 2019
Quanzhi Fashi
(Anime)
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Mixed Feelings
Quanzhi Fashi (QF) is one of the most interesting anime shows I have seen in recent years (I believe the correct term is ‘donghua,’ but I’m still going to call it ‘anime’ because I’m racist like that). On the surface, it does not look like much of anything: The general premise is hackneyed by this point; the character designs are bland & cookie-cutter; the animation is shoddy; the voice acting is underwhelming at best; and the entire production smacks of low-budget garbage. By all accounts, this series should suck serious ass... but, somehow, it doesn't. In fact, part of the reason why I find it
...
so interesting is the mere fact that I do indeed like this show. A lot.
Now, let's get those scores out of the way and jump right into this shit: Story: 7 Art: 3 Sound: 6 Characters: 6 Enjoyment: 9 Overall: *6/10* NOTE: My initial overall score was 7/10, but I can't let my personal bias influence my appraisal too much... and the animation really does suck. STORY + CHARACTERS: QF is, at its core, a coming-of-age story about a boy who finds himself in a strange world and must fight the odds to reach the top. The MC, Mo Fan, is a normal-ish Chinese teenager who wakes up one day to find that his world has fundamentally changed. For the most part, everything is the same, but for two major differences: The world is now governed by magic; and monsters are a very real threat, even to society as a whole. Unfortunately for Mo Fan, because he lived without magic up to this point, he knows next to nothing about it, making him an instant flunkie in middle school. Now, he has to find a way to not only survive in a world of magic & monsters, but get himself enrolled in a magic high school and become the best damn mage he can possibly be… While the story is another addition to the isekai library, this show puts a bit of a twist on the typical plot of such fare: Instead of finding himself in a completely different universe a la Overlord or Rise of the Shield Hero, he wakes up in basically the same place, but with a few added, yet significant, details; also, unlike most isekai these days, knowledge of his “old world” will do him no good because he hasn’t really gone anywhere different - this, combined with his ignorance of magic, immediately puts him at a severe disadvantage in nearly all respects. I think these aspects give QF a unique flavor that sets it apart from other entries in the genre, and the fact that Mo Fan is a sympathetic MC makes it work in spite of its flaws. Perhaps the most engaging part of QF for me, however, is the “mythology” of the series: How spells are cast; which spells one can use; what one must do to become powerful; etc. The progression of the story and the presentation of various facets of their society & its use of magic made it feel as though one were playing an RPG, in a way, which can be a good thing or a bad thing - in this case, it was a good thing, because it kept you engaged. Solid foot-in-the-door work, I must say. Is it particularly detailed or immersive? Absolutely not. This is, IMO, to the benefit of the show, however, since your imagination can run a little wild without losing sight of the central mythos. Sometimes a little goes a long way, and I think the production understood this… or was forced by budget constraints. Obviously, one shouldn’t expect Oscar-worthy dialogue & storytelling out of a cheaply-produced Chinese anime series, and QF is no exception. The plot is a bit predictable, which can be a downer for some. Also, the flow of the story is pretty disjointed, and there are times when you don’t know how many years have passed between scenes. Another issue I had with it is the lack of character development, with only maybe two characters changing significantly as the series progresses - outside of them, everyone was rigidly-defined and didn’t deviate much from their molds. Then again, when you have perhaps 25% less time than other shows of the same length, how much character development can you really fit into the picture? In the end, though, I can forgive this fault because the show is really only concerned with one character, and that single-minded devotion actually kind of works in this case. A show like this would fall apart without the right MC, and Mo Fan is a protagonist you cannot help but get behind and support. Unlike most male protagonists in anime these days, Mo Fan is just a normal-yet-good-natured teenager, not some 30-something virgin otaku, borderline sex offender, washed-up loser or Jesus-like holy figure in the rough. The character is actually a human being with human strengths & flaws and not some insufferable wannabe-saint (which becomes apparent when you hear his inner monologue), making him instantly more relatable than most. He is also pretty much the only character to undergo any significant change throughout the show, and even that is pretty limited personality-wise (although such becomes more pronounced in season 2). Mo Fan may not be the most complex or profound character, but he is a solid & likeable MC, much better than, say, a certain handsy demon lord I could mention. ART: I can sum up the quality of the animation in QF with three words: poor, lazy and inconsistent. It is not so much the art itself completely sucked ass, although there are a few really shittily-drawn scenes (ep. 6 @ ~6:00 mark), but that so little effort was put into making the animation flow properly, much less seamlessly. It is really obvious that the animators were trying to get by with as few frames as possible, a fatal flaw which becomes particularly noticeable in many of the “action” scenes. This truly is a shame, since this visuals could have been stunning if the producers actually gave a shit. Here is what surprises me the most about the low art quality in QF: This show was produced by Tencent Penguin Pictures (TPP), which also produced the acclaimed masterpiece known as Quanzhi Gaoshou (QG). Truthfully, QG is one of the most beautifully-animated shows I have ever seen, and one of the few which has been able to incorporate CGI in such a flawless & appropriate fashion. I gave that motherfucker a solid 10 out of 10 because it is a prime example of a perfect anime: The animation is top-notch, the plot is unique and gripping, the character designs are gorgeous, and pretty much everything about the world it created is intriguing and engaging. This raises the inevitable question: If TPP was able to produce a masterpiece like QG, why is the animation in QF such garbage by comparison? Sure, any production house can end up releasing a total piece of shit, but the companies capable of producing something like, say, Cowboy Bebop or Princess Mononoke or even QG usually wouldn’t fuck up quite this bad. Shit, if I keep up with these abbreviations, this is going to start reading like some high-OT Scientology shit! SOUND: The same complaints I had about the art can be, to some extent, applied to the sound design as well, but you may have noticed that I rated the sound much higher. Why? Simple: Smooth-ass jazz licks! Aside from the voice acting being more acceptable than the animation (some of it is a bit cringey, though) there is actually some good music in the series, especially those jazzy guitar licks, which are fucking sexy as hell. In fact, I loved that lick in the outro theme so much that I taught myself how to play it - the only other anime-related tune I have ever bothered to learn is BoA’s “Every Heart,” which I consider to be perhaps the best song ever used in anime… well, unless you include “10’s” by Pantera, which was used in the Dragonball Z film ‘Broly - The Legendary Super Saiyan,’ because Pantera is stronger than all. Bitches. To sum it up succinctly, the voice acting & sound effects are generally lackluster, but the music is pretty solid, especially when it involves that jazzy guitar. ENJOYMENT: Simply put, I loved watching this series. So much so, in fact, that I’ve binge-watched all three seasons more than once, and again for this review. Surprisingly, considering all of its flaws, the show has a lot of replay value, and due to its shorter episodes, the time investment is far less than most episodic anime. When you are excited for the next season, you know the show did something right. IN SUMMATION: I see QF as something of a “butterface” in the world of Chinese anime: She may not have a pretty face or a stylish wardrobe, but she has a heart of gold and a sexy-ass body to boot. What QF is lacking in the production department it makes up for with a compelling story, an intriguing world setting and sympathetic characters, making it something of a raw, unpolished gem. If you want a different flavor of isekai, this is definitely worth a look-see.
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
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Aug 12, 2019
Green Green
(Anime)
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Not Recommended
***WARNING: CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS***
^As if you give a shit... 'Green Green' (GG) will always hold a special place in my heart. This is not because the series is any good - in fact, it is ridiculously & disgustingly awful - but rather because it is often unintentionally hilarious and has a few choice moments & elements, one of which is among the greatest scenes I have ever witnessed in all my life. Now, let me be absolutely clear: This is not a good series. At all. In any way, shape or form. Not only does it have a nonsensical story, godawful characters, stupid dialogue and lazy animation, ... but it is also genuinely offensive to even people who aren't whiny-ass snowflakes with useless degrees in gender studies or art history. This series is legitimately terrible in every respect, and were it not for the aforementioned choice moments & unintentional comedy, it would quite possibly be the worst anime I have ever seen, which is why I am going to recommend that most of you only watch one specific episode, provided you aren't easily "triggered" or whatever. Anyways, here is a brief synopsis of what you're getting into with this nonsense: GG is ostensibly a romantic comedy about hormone-fueled high school kids in a secluded boarding school. It is about as ecchi as you can get, complete with all the bouncing boobs, gratuitous panty shots, sexual innuendos, thinly-veiled rape attempts, drooling idiots and potty humor you can imagine, only poorly-executed and dumber than a room of Fox News viewers (hey, equal time or whatever the fuck). Before we get into the nitty gritty, here are my scores for this piece of shit: Story: 3/10 Art: 3/10 Sound: 2/10 Characters: 1/10 Enjoyment: 4/10 Overall: 2/10 STORY + CHARACTERS: Kanenone Academy, an all-boys boarding school in the middle of nowhere, is about to host the student body of an all-girls school for a month, as a trial run for potentially integrating the two into a co-ed school. Can you guess what happens? Of course you can... But wait! There is a twist! The first girl off the bus, named Midori, immediately jumps into the arms of our main character, a typical bland-as-fuck protagonist named Yusuke (You-SOO-kay!), who she already knows by name despite their never meeting before that moment. How could this be? Well, it turns out that they were lovers in a past life who were apparently destined never to be together or something, but she found a way to travel to this time in history to be with him (or his reincarnation or whatever) once again, in an attempt to defy destiny... and stuff. Or whatever. Well, unfortunately for her, he wants nothing to do with her crazy ass, so she gets more and more desperate as time passes, driving him farther away with every failed attempt to smother him... until they accidentally kiss, and then VOILA! His memory of their past life returns, and they become immediately inseparable... well, until Midori has to go back to her time for some lame-ass reason, and Yusuke finally starts to date the girl he actually liked all along. While all this weird bullshit is happening with generic dude & psycho bitch, his three über-perverted "friends," known as the "Baka Trio," are constantly getting him unwittingly & unwillingly involved with their moronic schemes, which usually involve attempts to sexually-assault their respective crushes... or pretty much any other female who crosses their paths, save for the one ugly girl that is almost as desperate for sex as them. Thankfully, their rapey shenanigans never end well for them, which results in feelings of extreme discomfort & violation for the girls, repeated (ineffective) public shaming for the dumbasses and constant guilt-by-association misery for generic dude, who is just as dumb as anyone for even being friendly with the three pedo-tards. You might have noticed I referred to the Baka Trio's schemes as "rapey shenanigans." That is because sexual assault plays a major "comedic" role in this series, as they constantly try to fondle or fuck the girls or their busty nurse/chaperone; however, these attempts at sexual assault are portrayed in a weirdly happy-go-lucky fashion as little more than goofy high-school pranks rather than horrific sex offender behavior. As disgusting as this may be, though, the results are not quite as off-putting as one might expect, considering they pretty much never get anywhere with anyone, and the stupidity of their schemes is so outlandish that it is hard to take any of this shit seriously. There is one character in the series, though, that is not a tired cliché and provides many of the aforementioned choice moments. He is the resident badass of this show - a clairvoyant, a living weapon, a defender of women and, along with Wakaba by extension, the most interesting & engaging character in the entire show. Who is he, you ask? Why, his name is Togemura, and he is... a potted cactus. Yup. ART + SOUND: Simply put, they suck ass. The animation is lazy as fuck, the character designs are cookie-cutter bullshit, and the sound design is lackluster at best. Then again, what did you expect from a show like this, a beautifully-produced masterpiece? Come now... actually, don't. Please. That being said, this brings up another one of those choice elements I mentioned earlier, and that would be the shitty English dubbing. Obviously, whoever produced the dub could not have given less of a fuck because, aside from the stupid dialogue and campy voices, the voice actors don't even pronounce some of the names correctly... with hilarious results. The best example is that, throughout the series, everyone constantly pronounces the name "Yusuke" as You-SOO-kay instead of YOU-skay, which is such a typically American mistake that you cannot help but laugh. This little bit of unintentional comedy is especially funny when Midori screams his name, which happens quite a lot throughout the series. ---- ENJOYMENT: While there may be a smidgen of entertainment to be had from watching this train wreck, everything you need to see is contained in one episode, as I previously stated. Episode 9 is the only episode you need to make an effort to watch; however, if even one episode sounds like too much of a burden (which would be completely understandable), only the last half of that one episode is actually essential. Now, you might be wondering to yourself, what the hell could half an episode possibly contain to justify my high praise? I won't spoil the moment completely, as I really think everyone should watch it at least once, but I will give you a pretty big hint at what's in store for you: Big dipper rape. In a word: Glorious. Absolutely fucking glorious... XD _______________ IN SUMMATION: 'Green Green' is trash like almost nothing else, and easily one of the worst anime series ever produced. Almost everything about it screams ineptitude, and it is crystal-clear that zero fucks were given by the people who made this piece of shit. Be that as it may, there is plenty of unintentional comedy that results from the shoddy production, and the second half of episode 9 is beyond fucking incredible, if only on account of perhaps a combined fifteen seconds of footage. If you are a fan of terrible ecchi anime with even worse dubbing, this one may be worth a sit-through; for everyone else, though, skip to the halfway mark of episode 9, watch it through the end, and then move on to something less stupid & rapey. Oh, and before I forget: Togemura defeats all foes. Recognize, bitch!
Reviewer’s Rating: 2
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