Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai
Twittering Birds Never Fly

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This 44 pages long oneshot has more characterization, more depth and more psychological insight than most multi-volume mangas. The story of this manga centers on the psychology of the main character, and it does so magnificently. Tadayoedo Shizumazu, Saredo Naki mo Sezu is only incidentaly yaoi. Primarily it deals with psychopathology of a messed up teen who thinks he's just fine, but is all but.
The flaw I found with this manga lies in my greed – I wanted more. I just wanted a few more pages, I wanted to read more.
Regardless of my voraciousness, it's one of the best psychological oneshots out there, and ... I sincerely recommend it.

If you havn't read this manga yet, here's a note; it basically goes in this order of one-shots:
-Tadayoedo Shizumazu, Saredo Naki mo Sezu
-Dont' Stay Gold
-Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai

One doesn't have to read them in order, they still make sense if you don't. Anyway, this review will be based on all the one-shots I guess, seeing as I wasn't disappointed in any of them and they are all based around the same characters.

The story is amazing, it...explains things so well seeing as it's only given one 'chapter' consisting of only 40+ pages to tell the story of each character and keep things interesting. So much is ... put into the chapter but it doesn't make the reader confused.
The art drew me in when I came across 'Don't Stay Gold,' I'm picky with art styles and this has everything I want in a manga. The characters themselves have very unique personalities; from loving to inflict pain, to loving to have pain inflicted on oneself; these being things that have a past to them, not just "oh he's a masochist" everything has a (rather sad) reason behind it. I got really attached to the characters, unlike some yaoi one-shots where everything is just rushed and you don't really get a chance to even begin to like the characters.
I enjoy reading these one-shots over and over and over, overall it really is a fantastic story. If you're like me and literally go through every yaoi manga on a website, this one would be a shame to skip past.

One of unforgettable BL mangas I've read. I don't write reviews usually, but I'm attempting to properly write one for this oneshot that made me feel so strongly attached to. Don't view this review too strictly though, it's my first.

Story: A high school yaoi story between classmates. Only the main character is fucked up, full of cynicism until someone reaches into the deep pits of his dark, injured and sad soul and saves him with kindness. And then love blossoms. It kept me interested with the little snippets of detail handed out to unfold one big picture like most oneshots while with idealisation pared down ... to a minimum. This is uncommon in yaoi, and that's why I'm giving it a 8/10.

SPOILER: I really wanted to give it a 9 though for story because unrequited love kicks me in the balls so hard (metaphorically) but this kinda thing is subjective.

Art: Yoneda Kou's style can be said to be distinctive from the rest, but it still has the usual BL pretty boy feel to me with slim and lanky physiques and usual standard faces for characters. I tend to go for more masculine types. Still nice to look at, but doesn't spark off anything in me. 7/10

Character: This is where the manga really hooks and reels you in. With interesting fetishes and personalities, the main characters are refreshing and at least likeable. Your main character is not the usual girly boy who thinks that the world is a kind place and that strangers have good intentions in most yaoi mangas. Really tired of that. Other than that, the other characters aren't not so developed in comparison, but I overlook this as it can't be helped as due to the short length and perspective of story. However, the way the characters handle their situations are so realistic and unpredictable that they won me over. 9/10

Enjoyment: I really, really liked it. And even after I re-read it, my feelings towards this oneshot did not diminish one bit. Right now, it feels like I'm writing a love letter to this oneshot, but this is really what it feels like. My only gripe was that I wanted more of Yashiro's story but this manga might have lost its charm if it were to be slightly longer. I gave this oneshot a biased rating of 10 in my manga list, by the way. 9/10

I see that it's been awhile since anyone wrote a review for this manga that is no longer a one-shot (up until now 16 chapters.) I can't seem to find this particular manga in book stores (honestly speaking I always get distracted and end up buying other books but I believe this story is close to ending.) Now, let's get to the juicy parts.

Story: 7
Although I seem to be enjoying this series quite a lot, it's still a typical and simple story. I do enjoy any type of 'Yakuza' love story (especially when the one who bottoms is the toughest one and older.) You have ... Yashiro the Yakuza leader of Shinseikai, we will talk more about him later, and his bodyguard Doumeki. Their backgrounds intrigued me, especially Doumeki who turned out to be impotent from his past (this plays an important part.) I can't help but love his devotion and loyalty to protect the 'Boss', of course things get a bit intimate and both Yashiro and Doumeki start to form this odd relationship. Each chapter something makes them closer without either part even taking notice at times.

There is a bit of action too, you know, Yakuza business that takes play as well that kept me entertained.

Art: 9
Yoneda-san has always got me with her style of art, it's nice on the eyes and has a level of sophistication. Her /cough/ lewd scenes are well done, I don't seem to be asking more from them as in other mangas where in half a page it's over (come on, give me that explicit stuff). Every character just fit their role, you know when you see a face in a manga and their personality just doesn't fit? You won't get that here, everyone was executed wonderfully just like her other mangas (NightS uwu)

Character: 8 (9ish)
I loved pretty much everyone in this, my favorite which is none other than, Yashiro (from don't stay gold.) He has quite a back story which transformed him into a masochistic and sadistic being.

He really loves to be viewed in the lewdest and humiliating way, honestly there was quite a few time i couldn't help but feel utter sympathy for him. His abusive past has converted him into a man that doesn't want to fix what's been broken, and a lot of people can relate to those types of feelings.

He's nothing more than just a broken man who fails to come to base with his own issues. He meets his new bodyguard, Doumeki and pretty much Yashiro's issues came to light. Despite Doumeki being impotent, Yashiro can't seem to help himself but still maintains the distance because he is only afraid to rely and attach him to other people.

You met other characters that of course, involves Yashiro and its incredible how much abuse that man can take without breaking. Of course, (chapter 15 especially) you can see Yashiro breaking the lines of his own world with Doumeki.

Enjoyment: 9
No doubt about it. Yoneda-san was on hiatus before she started again on this series and was excited to see this one. She never disappoints so I would love for everyone to check out her works and fall in love.

*NO SPOILERS*

Where do I even start? Maybe here: To simply slap a BL label on this and leave it at that feels downright criminal.

I’m very grateful that I stumbled upon this without any prior knowledge or pretext. Had I read a synopsis or character description, I doubt I would have given it a try. Almost everything I found on this movie and manga fails to capture the essence of this story and its characters. It very much sounds like one of those cliches where BL is predatory and abuse is strangely romanticized. But I can promise you, that this ... is not the case. At all.

I should preface anything else with a bit of a warning. This manga/movie is without a doubt 18+. No, it isn’t hentai. No, it’s not all just about juicy sex scenes. BUT the story is heavy-laden with crime, violence, sex, abuse, rape, and abuse of minors. But let me say it one more time for the people in the back: In no way, shape, or form are any of these heavy topics romanticized or fetishized. They are merely used as tools to depict what (unfortunately) is reality for many people. Generally, it could be said that mentally healthy and sound individuals with a normal childhood don’t end up in the Yakuza and that’s where this story unfolds…

Yoneda Kou is the author of this journey, that started in 2008 with the one-shot Don’t Stay Gold. The focus is split between the main characters Kageyama & Kuga and character development of Yashiro, the main character of the movie/manga series.

In 2009, the story continues with the one-shot Though They Drift, They Do Not Sink, But Nor Do They Sing, where the focus is on Kageyama’s (one of the mains in Don’t Stay Gold) and Yashiro’s Highschool years, though the focus is again on character development of Yashiro.

Since 2011, Twittering Birds Never Fly has been serialized in HertZ magazine. It depicts Yashiro and Chikara Doumeki (first name, family name) and their struggle to make sense of many difficult feelings in an environment that is ruthless and unforgiving, all while suffocating in profound trauma. Both characters are immensely complex, Yashiro especially so, using his hyper-sexual facade as a tool - both weapon and shield - to navigate the choppy waters of a harsh, men-only crime syndicate. Doumeki, a newcomer to this lifestyle, quickly becomes Yashiro’s anchor, grounding him and pulling him under at the same time. Their affection and fascination with each other is both, tragic and hopeful; twisted, yet simple. But this story is about more than just two people’s attraction. It’s a deep, dark, and intense dive into the Japanese underworld.

You can absolutely watch the movie without having read any source material, just as you can read the main story without the one-shots first. They may all be connected and will absolutely give you a much deeper understanding of all the characters involved, but hey are all stand-alone stories at the same time. I started with the movie and then couldn’t rest until I had found the manga!

The movie adaptation Twittering Birds Never Fly - The Clouds Gather was released in 2020. The adaptation follows the manga very closely and the art is identical to the source material which is a huge plus in my opinion. The movie score has jazzy undertones and fits the whole “mobster theme” well. The ending is a beautiful song with poignant lyrics, and having watched the music video I wonder if the interpretive dance is foreshadowing the storyline? The same year, a sequel The Storm Breaks was announced, but has yet to be released. A third, still untitled movie has also been announced. All three films were licensed by Sentai Filmworks for screenings & releases in North America, so I remain hopeful that it will happen.

When it comes to the voice actors, I have nothing but praise! They infuse Yashiro & Doumeki with so much character and really bring them to life. The acting is truly superb and gives the whole story yet another layer of depth! If you have read the manga and are now watching the movie, you will be amazed by how perfectly they were cast for their respective roles! Likewise, if you’ve just watched the movies and are now diving deeper into the manga, having experienced their “voices” will make reading their story that much more exciting!

There are currently 8 volumes spanning 56 chapters with the next chapter release scheduled March 29, 24. Yoneda sensei announced that the story will conclude within the next 2-3 volumes, so we may be looking at many more years of waiting to see where life will take these two amazing characters.

I hope I could convince you to give this a try and I hope you won’t be disappointed! If you are a fan like me, consider buying original works to support not just the amazing author, but to guarantee the next two movies!

If you are still reading, thank you! I’ve said as much as I could without spoiling anything and now I’d just like to give my opinion:

I’m an avid reader (of literature) and have also watched anime my whole life. Considering that, I want to say how profoundly complex this story is. I occasionally re-read the manga and continue to see more connections, meanings, and interpretations. It absolutely blows my mind that Yoneda sensei pulled this off with the limited medium that is manga, where you don’t have pages upon pages to explain all the details and plots. She has a real talent to convey complex emotions like suspicions, fears, as well as hopes, dreams, and longing (sometimes all at the same time) with a mere sketch of a few characters. It translates very well in the movie! Though the ending definitely leaves you wanting more. If I’m honest, I’m very unsure of where these two characters are headed. It’s so hard to imagine a happy ending given their background and environment, but at the same time it would utterly wreck me if they didn’t get that redemption in the end.

Saezuru is truly masterpiece and a work of art. If I only read Saezuru casually without analyze anything, I will only get 30% of what the story actually hold. Even if I analyze everything, I still can't get every message. Every activity and useless conversation is actually hold some meaning. Every gesture, every expression, even the background of the manga have meaning behind it.

Story of Saezuru is about two people who have trauma, how they meet and how they change. There is also yakuza plot in here. As someone who likes story about yakuza and sometimes read article, interview about yakuza, this manga really ... good at portray how yakuza in Japan currently. The plot is also interesting if you really understand it.

From Saezuru, I learnt more about:
1. How trauma affect people differently
2. To what extent trauma can affect you.
3. How trauma affect human perception of something. There are many stories for example linked pain with pleasure, but they rarely show us, how pain can be linked with pleasure, which is for normal people isn't easy to understand. In Saezuru, we will know about that.
4. What kind of things can affect outcome of traumatic experience. For example, comparison of victim who have someone by their side and victim who don't have anyone during traumatic experience.
5. How we should/shouldn't act toward victim.

Yashiro, the male lead, is one of the most complicated character I have ever read in manga. He is full of contradiction, twisted, and layered. It's really interesting to try to read him though I believe I will never understand him completely. Even the author said that she made his personality layered to make him similar with human and I think she did a great job.

It's sad that many people don't read this because it's BL and because there are many sex scene, they think this is porn. lol yeah, sure, porn. How can I cry during sex scene if this is porn. For me, seeing him have sex is painful not because of hardcore but because of his trauma. If you think it's porn, maybe you watch too many porn that you can't see sex beside satisfy your lust.

I've read a few yaoi/romance series's before, and this one isn't really a romance, but it definitely has the "feel" in it.

The story's one of the best I've read, and it's not even finished yet. I love the tension between Doumeki and Yashiro, and how Doumeki loves Yashiro, but at the same time he doesn't why. The confusion is what makes me love this series, and the characters, too.

You Kouneda sure knows how to write, and I hope to see more gems from her in tthe future, including the conclusion to this one, because the cliffhanger at Chapter 7 is killing me!

The premise seems cliché, the protagonist does not bring any new face to the story until he reaches chapter 10. And then the story begins to reveal itself in its entirety. How can a work of sarcastic and immoral humor, profanity and characters that don't stand out for much, make a quality somersault with few scenes? For me, Yashiro's fragility, going beyond that superficial and cold man, was summed up in the way he related to the past in those introductory chapters to his past. A normal person, then a trauma. Anyone would interpret it as... normally a protagonist needs to be tragic... But Yashiro ... is hateful and cynical, and even manipulative, using that fuck-the-world attitude. Yashiro sounds empty. Doumeki even more, and when the two main characters meet, it's something casual and comical; the whole story they don't sound like a couple at all. You can't even imagine them having sex and if they did, you think, it wouldn't be that interesting, Yashiro wouldn't have any inhibitions and could do it without even liking him. You don't feel like they're "ice against fire", despite them being so different, you feel like they're both bruised and mucus-covered and cynical birds thrashing half-dead on the ground. The meeting of the two is as if they were staring at each other, indifferent, without fear of the cruelty of the world.

I hate depressing stories.

But as much as I do my best to prevent myself from reading such things that might damage me permanently, I still feel the urge to devour every single one of Yoneda Kou's works -- even though the majority of them are so nerve-wracking. Of course, Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai is no exception.

Story - Having quite a fan of BL stories, I have read another BL with the setting of yakuza. But that certain manga's yakuzaness doesn't even compare to Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai. This manga is so dark, complex, sad, with the kind of story that will haunt you in your ... dreams & making you wake up in tears. Maybe I am being oversensitive but regardless, the story is really something. With enough portions of budding love, thrill, drama, it's a perfect example of making a yakuza-based story.

Art - Yoneda Kou's art is and and always gorgeous. The men are drawn very beautifully, each with distinct characteristics that differentiate them from the other characters. I really love the art. It's simplistic, proportional, and just has this 'BL' feel to it, you know.

Character - Aaaand here we are, at my favorite part of the manga. I would like to highlight the main character Yashiro please. Yashiro's character is very interesting. He is what should have been of a normal young lad had he not have a tragic childhood. His past ruined him, causing him to bend and even broke to become what he is right now. His lewd personality and foul mouth could be disturbing sometimes but deep down inside he's simply a broken man with a broken heart. Doumeki is your typical silent and solemn man -- but he is shown to have a soft side deep down inside him. Doumeki is kind-hearted and strong-willed. One particular occurrence that you will find later in the series assured my sympathy for this guy and his stoic attitude.

Enjoyment - I did not enjoy Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai. I repeat: I did NOT enjoy Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai. Its story is too dark and confusing and gloomy and heartbreaking to enjoy with a light heart. But I love it. No comments on this, I really love this manga. It's a kind of manga I'll read after preparing my heart for the storm that is sure to come, though. But it's a very interesting read and sure will keep you glued on your seats.

Okay. I'm always stop myself to reading this one. I think one big problem to start this manga it was that in thirten years printed only 37 chapters and in russian forums peoples wrote that they married or graduated and this story standing steel. In truth I was scared. I pulled yourself together and started reading. And it was amazing. Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai was amazing. This manga is from that grade when you reading and have soo many feelings. From heartpain to hate.
Okay why this one so impressed me?
First - is beautiful art. You saw how beautiful Yashiro? Or how hottest sex-scenes? ...
Second one - Yashiro's jokes and his manner of speech. He's really behave like bitch and it so intresting.
Third - excellent relationship development. I'm so much love ust's and Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai gave me all I want - too long pass from "youre nothing" to "youre all".
But this is minus same time. Sometimes was boring follow to yakuza's shotdown's. BUT! If was no this shotdowns it would not be so interesting to observe the development of the relations of characters.
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai really broke my heart.

This used to be a one-shot, long ago, but now is a full blown story of depth and passion with 25+ chapters and counting. I've read 25 chapters at the time of this writing.

What I liked about this story:

1. Yakuza setting - means adult characters and themes.
2. Unique premise - sex story with an impotent main character. It becomes an interesting way of showing character growth.
3. Beautiful artwork.
4. Lovable characters - not just the MCs but the side characters too.
5. Non-typical uke and seme.

The plot is really nothing special; it's the characters that drive this story. ... Yashiro grabbed my attention from the very first page and hasn't let it go for even an instant. He's incredibly interesting to watch. He's a self-proclaimed masochist and sex-addict yet he's also very ruthless, cruel, and cunning. The way he interacts with the other characters is fascinating to watch. He's not a typical uke. He holds a position of authority and while he does let others use his body, he controls who and when and why. It's an interesting dynamic.

This story is dark and there's really very little break from that darkness. There's not much humor to lighten things up. But even though it's dark, I wouldn't say it's depressing. The characters haven't lost hope and they are moving forward whether they want to or not and for me, that keeps it from being depressing. By chapter 25, it's become very touching and moving.

The artwork is beautiful. It's not too difficult to distinguish between characters. Faces are expressive and emotions are visible. Since it's Yakuza, they are dressed well and there's some creativity with the clothes. Nothing like Totally Captivated but better than most. The sex scenes are really erotic. There's a fuzziness of detail around the genitals but a strong attention to body posture, lines and curves, and facial expressions. Yashiro masterbating in his bathrobe with his head in Doumeki's lap was super, super hot.

The pace of the story and the progression of the relationship felt natural. Often in yaoi I find myself asking, "already?" This was much more realistic and I liked that a lot. I'm interested to see the rest of this story as it continues. I highly recommend it.

The story has a great way of showing how people are differently affected by past similar traumas and how they tend to respond differently in the same situations. As the reader I tend to get very frustrated on the main character actions but as much as I want to settle him down and explain why his actions are wrong or that there was another way to go about it, brings me back to reality realizing on how I never even thought how his trauma has and still impacts him. Instead of him trying to fix his problems he tends to feed into them to the ... point where I believe the main character is lost in his own realm and tends to put his work above him so he does not have to deal with his true self . As the main character interacts with his lover ( I hope its him) the reader tends to see a more softer side I feel like the mc does not have to put up with this character he himself and others made because of such trauma but tends to hold on it causing him to mess up or ruin anything setting him free. Hinting towards the title which translations is Twittering Birds Never Fly. Tbh I believe this manga is not going to end when and the topics will get even heavier. I have an idea on how it might end put I hope it wont end in a train wreck of emotions. This the manga where I believe the couple might not ever get together due to past traumas due to both character's surroundings

I don't want to sound biased but Saezuru is the best manga I have ever read. I will literally recommend this to anyone, even if it is yaoi. To start, the story is just intense right off the bat. I wanted to read the manga because I saw the trailer and I was really interested. The first couple chapters had me in shock because I had no idea what was coming, and maybe that's why it's so memorable for me. The art is beautiful too, and I cry everytime I read it. And the characters, I love Nanahara so much, please protect. He is so ... funny and innocent, he is one of my favourite anime/ manga characters. And the two main characters, their love story, changed my life. I have never been so obsessed with their development, because it has been killing me and it still is, because I don't think the manga is even finished yet. Like I said, I cried a lot reading this manga, I absolutely loved it, I felt so much pain and heartbreak, but I also laughed and cried tears of joy. Please I just love them so much and if this doesn't end up as a happy ending, I'll still probably give this a 10/10, because that's how much I love this manga. But I'm still praying for a happy ending, because my heart can't take anymore pain.

My ratings for Saezuru may seem very high, but I don't think it's undeserving at all. Overall, it's arguably THE BEST yaoi manga, and one of the most memorable mangas I've ever read. What separates it from other yaoi mangas, put simply, is the sensible, realistic, and meaningful way in which the story carries its characters.

I have to mention this: Saezuru is NOT your common yaoi work with shallow and sometimes nonsensical scenes -- just focusing on the p*rn. (Not sayin those works are inherently bad. Saezuru is just a different type of work.)

No, when reading Saezuru, it's important to analyze the meaning behind the ... characters' (especially Yashiro!) actions, expressions, and words. IMPORTANT: Read the 3 oneshots before reading the main story! This beautifully drawn manga (imo, the art has improved but was already impactful to begin with) deals with topics such as *spoilers* child trauma, along with the meaning of love. Even with the uke's attractive personality, and the drama within the graphic and brain-filled plot, scenes are rarely exaggerated; abuse is not romanticized -- its effects are reflected instead.

Is love seen and felt as a euphoric warmth by all? Or could it be an open wound -- a non-existent dream for somebody else?

I've reread this one at least twice, but the feels never fail to hit every time.

This manga deserves more recognition -- not just as a 'yaoi manga'.

I gave thus one a 10/10 after reading the latest chapter last night.
This is everything I want from a manga and more than I ever hoped to get from a yaoi. The story is interesting and all characters feel so real. The psychological drama, the beautiful art, the pacing - it's just wonderful. This story makes my heart ache in a bittersweet way. The only 'bad' thing is that it takes so long to get new chapters. But seeing the quality of the newest chapters it kinda makes sense. I rather her to take her time to develop the plot and hit us with ... it than getting the chapters pushed out weekly with no substance to them.
I will reread this one more than once for sure.
Highly recommend 🙏

This manga is one I hold dear and close to my heart. It is also the first yaoi manga that made me sob uncontrollably when I first read its one-shot prequel (Tadayoedo Shizumazu Saredo Naki Mo Sezu- to drift away without sinking, to depart without crying). This is not because I am an emotional person who cries easily but rather because of the arrestingly beautiful depiction of the story by the author. The one thing that makes this manga stand out the most is the author's unparalleled ability to convey the message of the story clearly to the readers. Every single word, expression and even ... drawing of the seemingly plain surroundings come together beautifully to create a unique world of the author's creation, causing readers to empathize with the characters without fail, thus making even the most apathetic person become an emotional wreck.

Story:
Depicts the lives of a masochistic, slutty, cunning yakuza with a miserable past and the impotent, aloof, hachiko-like ex-cop-turned-yakuza who is hopelessly in love with him.

Art:
Hauntingly beautiful, outstanding, marvelous, one of a kind (the kind that makes you despair because you have no artistic talent whatsoever).

Characters:
Main characters whose sufferings will make you feel for them and want to hug them tight.
Even minor characters are memorable and make you thirst for more of their appearances in the manga.

Enjoyment:
I reread and reread it again while waiting for the updates. Other yaoi mangas pale in comparison.

Overall:
I really hope Yashiro finds happiness and this will always be my favourite yaoi manga.

I've never liked to write reviews, but this manga exceeds my expectation. Did watch the movie too, for some reason I have mixed feelings. It makes my heart hurt even more sobbing, feels like all of the loneliness came after me. I do really want Yashiro can't find his happiness somehow. If you don't watch the movie yet, you may add it to your watchlist. All of the aspects balance each other, especially the main soundtrack (Moratorium by Omoinotake). Even the meaning of the lyrics makes my heart full of tears. I cannot take it.

Good storyline, a nice art style.

Hands down, one of the best manga I've ever read. It's a tragedy that this manga will be dismissed by most people as just another BL/yaoi, but it's so much more than that. At its heart, this is a story about two very broken human beings at their most fragile and flawed. It's a story about suffering, human resilience, and how, despite everything, despite all our differences, we as humans crave love, compassion, and connection to another person even when we feel like we're unworthy of it.

It's not at all a light-hearted story. The story takes place in the world of organized crime, where ... physical and sexual violence is a commonplace occurrence. The story is deeply psychological and explores very heavy themes like childhood trauma and sexual abuse.

However, that is nothing new in the Yaoi world. It pains me to admit it, but most BL/yaoi has non-consensual scenes and deeply traumatized characters. It's just that most of the time, these characters only have trauma to make them "interesting". Trauma for the sake of trauma. "Trauma" is just another "trait" that the character has, and it's never fully explored; usually, it's just a plot device, and more often than not, it's magically cured through the power of love.

None of that can be said about Saezuru. And that's exactly what sets Saezuru apart from other yaoi. The story isn’t merely about two men falling into a complicated relationship, it's about the long, difficult journey towards healing and self-acceptance. And the best thing? Nothing is ever romanticized, glorified or normalized. It's shown as it is. The darkest of human emotions. Raw and unadulterated and brutal.

And Yashiro's character is at the centre of it all. Oh, Yashiro T.T As I read on, he quickly became one of my favourite characters in any media ever. Yashiro is a beautifully tragic man. He's very unlike any other "uke/bottom" I've read. A lot of yaois tend to sort of put the men into traditional roles of "male" and "female" where the one who takes it up the bum is the "female".

In Saezuru, there's none of that. Yashiro is a very charismatic and competent yakuza boss despite being an "uke". He's a pervert, but also someone who uses sarcasm and sexual promiscuity as a shield to protect himself from his own trauma. He is who he is due to the abuse he suffered in his childhood, and throughout the story, he's constantly engaging in self-destructive behaviour, using and seeing sex as merely a transactional process.

Yashiro is very emotionally detached/numb, but every panel does a beautiful job of showing us how deeply damaged he is, how he's built this whole sexual facade, how he's masquerading as a perverted masochist to avoid confronting his own trauma.

As Yashiro himself would say, humans are full of contradictions, and so is he. He's so deeply wounded that the only way he can cope is by pretending that he likes it, that he's always liked it. I'm honestly in love with the portrayal of Yashiro's character, the complexity, the depth, the way he clearly yearns for just a bit of affection and love and compassion, but he's so intensely afraid of being vulnerable, of intimacy, of opening himself up to pain again that he can't admit it. What's even more depressing is that he's aware of this. He's a very self-aware man who knows exactly why he is the way he is, but he's still stuck in his own patterns of behaviour.

Then, the gentle soul Doumeki comes along and shatters the illusion (and cage) Yashiro's created for himself. It's just so painful, yet so beautiful how Doumeki, unlike the typical "seme" shows Yashiro unconditional care and respect. It's wonderful to see his quiet dedication and patience.

Chapters 24-25 were some of the most hauntingly beautiful panels in any BL/yaoi ever, and though nothing much was said, it was so clear how Yashiro was breaking, how his whole world was falling apart, and the author managed to beautifully capture his pain and fear of vulnerability.

I've never loved a story more. And I'm here to tell you that if you haven't read this masterpiece yet, please do.

This is my first time writing a review so i'll be quick. If you are into Yaoi-BL you definetly have to read this manga. The story is very intersting, really different from what we are used to. It doesn't includes any type of character which i have seen before. If you're more into school romance, slice of life or just used to read the typical story where a boy mets another boy and with no realizing it he falls in love with him you won't find it here. This story includes violence, hard sex, psycological disorders and much more. It is very intersting to see ... how little by little the characters become aware of their trully desires and how they try to manage with them. It also has a few funny moments so you'll really enjoy it!.

(CONTÉM SPOILERS)

Saezuru: the clouds gather, ou Saezuru Toriwa Habatakanai, conta, principalmente, a história de Yashiro, um adulto de trinta e seis anos de idade, um yakuza; seu envolvimento com a máfia, os riscos de vida que toma por ocupar tal cargo e seu universo pessoal que conhecemos com a chegada de Doumeki, seu guarda-costas, um adulto de vinte e cinco anos que acabou de sair da prisão. Para ler Saezuru temos que ter em mente duas coisas: é uma história adulta, num contexto yakuza, com homens que possuem passados e, quem sabe, presentes problemáticos, e claro, é um yaoi, então temos relações homossexuais.

Diferente de ... alguns yaois que encontramos, Saezuru não conta unicamente a história de ambos como um casal, mas desenvolve um problema referente ao contexto criminal em que estão, e recebe outros personagens secundários, e até um casal secundário, que alguns, no início, acabam se confundindo sobre qual seria o casal principal.

O casal principal é Doumeki e Yashiro, e o grande protagonista é Yashiro, esse homem aparentemente indiferente, apático, insensível, e desagradável que Yoneda Kou cria. Alguém que vamos aprendendo ser muito mais humano do que qualquer outro personagem que já encontramos, alguém que ganha um desenvolvimento espetacular e, de repente, ganha o favoritismo do leitor de forma natural devido a esse processo de empatia. Compreendemos, portanto, que Yashiro, na verdade, é solitário, triste, abandonado, traumatizado, e teme o amor. Com Yashiro conhecemos seu passado, que é retomado sempre durante a estória, o que deixa claro que sua infância, sua adolescência, sua vida não é assunto superado.

Yashiro está preso àquele eu que foi abandonado pela mãe, estuprado pelo padrasto desde muito cedo, estupros repetitivos que o faz tomar seu corpo como um objeto, que nunca será tratado com adoração e carinho, que o faz desenvolver um sadismo e um masoquismo tristes, e o faz acreditar que o sexo por sexo é sua única opção, a opção que toma todos os dias, com diferentes caras dia após dia. Além disso, Yashiro tem um amor não correspondido, que perdura desde seus tempos de escola pelo seu amigo Kageyama, o médico clandestino de seu grupo da máfia, que mesmo após tantos anos não está ciente de seus sentimentos, pois Yashiro lida também com a repressão e o silêncio de seu verdadeiro estado psicológico.

Então, conhecemos Doumeki, tão perturbado quanto Yashiro, um ex-policial que defendia a ordem e, de repente, estava na prisão. Motivo: espancou o próprio pai depois de tê-lo flagrado estuprando sua filha de criação. O próprio pai que também era um policial. E a irmã de consideração que, na verdade, é apaixonada por Doumeki. Uma bagunça. Um mundo, e uma família, dos quais Doumeki tenta escapar depois de cumprir sua pena ao ingressar os Yakuza, sob a “proteção” de Yashiro.

Os dois se conhecem, e logo Doumeki desenvolve uma admiração por Yashiro – que, nota-se, não é admirado por ninguém. Como poderia? Yashiro, o homossexual vulgar que subiu nos Yakuza usando o próprio corpo, sendo salvo pelo favoritismo que o chefe do grupo tinha por ele. Aquele que não se importava em ser visto tendo relações na própria mesa de seu escritório por/com algum subordinado seu, ou até por/com um superior, alguém sem salvação, e também sem vontade de viver.

No início, Doumeki é só mais um, alguém que Yashiro pode se aventurar com algum sexo selvagem. Mas o inesperado é descobrir que Doumeki é impotente, justamente pelo acontecimento com a irmã. Yashiro acha graça, e Doumeki, supostamente, não se importa. Mesmo assim, Yashiro faz questão de lhe dar orais, que duram por um tempo, até Doumeki perceber que sua impotência havia ido embora; por causa de Yashiro, aquela criatura vulgar e sensual, e diferente de todo mundo que Doumeki havia encontrado. Ele tenta esconder por um tempo, e todo o desenvolvimento, desde quando sua impotência é exposta até o momento em que Yashiro descobre tal fim, é meticulosamente demonstrado por imagens silenciosas, não-verbais, que na verdade dizem demais.

E daí temos a questão: por que Doumeki esconderia o fim da impotência se agora finalmente poderia ter relações com quem amava? Porque Yashiro já afastou um subordinado do grupo – na verdade tramou contra ele para que fosse expulso – quando descobriu que havia sentimentos em jogo. Doumeki atura tudo, menos ser afastado de seu chefe. Atura, até mesmo, perder seu dedo mínimo depois de ter falhado como seu guarda-costas e ter colocado sua vida em risco.
Com essa descoberta, há as tentativas de Yashiro de afastar Doumeki. Porém... não é a mesma coisa que foi com o outro subordinado. Yashiro também tem sentimentos, e notar isso o assusta; notar que a ideia de perder Doumeki o amedrontava, aquela pessoa fria sem preocupações – que até tinha aceitado o fato de seu amigo Kageyama ter se descoberto gay, ou seja lá o que for, com outro cara – o fez querer afastar Doumeki mais ainda. Ainda dava tempo de Doumeki desistir dos Yakuza e ter uma vida normal, o que evidencia o lado humano de Yashiro, que ama a ponto de querer o melhor para Doumeki, mas não quer se admitir amar também.

Doumeki é persistente, o que dá à história uma baita pitada de entretenimento. Quando Doumeki é expulso, ele corre atrás de Yashiro, e o medo, o amor, o ódio, a fúria de seu chefe pelo seu subordinado só cresce, e você sente tudo. É posto de forma espetacular. E Yashiro encontra todos os argumentos para dizer a Doumeki de onde vem aquela admiração por ele, e porque ele devia se livrar disso: Doumeki saiu da prisão desamparado e se agarrou à primeira coisa que encontrou quando saiu; ele.

E como é complexo. Os sentimentos de ambos envolvidos, a trama com os demais personagens, a homofobia descarada do vilão que quer tirar a vida de Yashiro, o fim da impotência de Doumeki, o motor da vida de Doumeki, as escolhas de Yashiro, as coisas diferentes que ele sente quando tem cenas sexuais com seu guarda-costas. A sensação assustadora, terrivelmente assustadora, de Doumeki ser o primeiro em sua mísera vida de trinta e seis anos que o faz sentir ser algo além de um objeto sexual. Ele odeia aquele sabor; e ele mente quando tem sua primeira relação de fato com Doumeki, que é a cena mais dolorida e intensa da minha triste vida de fujoshi. Yashiro, ali, despido, sendo torturado pela vista do corpo nu de Doumeki, que passa por si indiferente e solitário, ele com o braço quebrado, entrando debaixo do chuveiro, entorpecido, e notando só depois que ainda estava de roupa. Ele vulnerável, se entregando aos poucos, assumindo que a ideia de perdê-lo era terrível, admitindo que se importa. A cena do primeiro sexo dos dois é longa, e mortífera. Ela mata. Com toda aquela arte majestosa e linda de Yoneda Kou, o significado dela, as coisas desconhecidas que Yashiro sente, sua repulsa, ele negando o sexo frontal para que Doumeki não veja suas expressões. Ele repudia e sente um prazer imenso pela forma que Doumeki o toca ao mesmo tempo. Ah... é novo, é brilhante, é de tirar o fôlego. Doumeki está tentando fazê-lo mudar de ideia, talvez sem perceber. Foda-se o sexo sem significado.

Enfim, Yashiro foge e acontece um problemão. Yashiro tenta resolver os problemas de seu grupo sozinho, Doumeki vai atrás, mesmo tecnicamente demitido. Doumeki leva um tiro na perna do próprio Yashiro, que não quer que ele o siga. Yashiro quase morre. Doumeki quase morre. Ambos salvam a vida do outro. Doumeki se afasta e Yashiro perde a visão de um olho. Yashiro passa os próximos quatro anos sonhando com o bendito ex-guarda-costas, cada um com vidas diferentes, mas ainda nas sombras do mundo civilizado.

O reencontro de ambos é como uma faca no peito, e um indício de que iriam se reencontrar mais cedo ou mais tarde. A expressão supostamente impassível de Yashiro encontra a expressão 100% impassível de Doumeki, nas quais Yoneda Kou te treina ao longo do mangá para saber exatamente o que significam; uma mistura de: ah não, e ufa nos olhos de Yashiro. E na de Doumeki: oi. Lacônico mas internamente satisfeito por tê-lo reencontrado.

Enfim, é cheio, lotado, congestionado demais toda a trajetória da história. É complexo. E sobre ser uma história problemática ou não, você só entende da metade para frente. Dou uma resposta breve: não é problemática pois não aplaude o estupro, não aplaude a sexualidade precoce, mas coloca esses temas como traumas que nenhum dos dois superaram e justamente por isso os fizeram ser como são; perturbados, dilacerados, mas que fingem não ser. São, portanto, temas negativos, que Yoneda Kou não nos diz de forma explícita, porque não é para amadores lerem. É para ser lido de forma crítica, considerando o contexto yakuza, a questão psicológica e o porquê que são como são.

Não abordo aqui personagens secundários como Ryuzaki, por exemplo, que é meu personagem secundário favorito. Não falarei sobre o casal secundário também, que também ganha um desenvolvimento digno em uma única oneshot. Conheci Yoneda Kou com Doushitemo Furetakunai e senti a presença do diferente na narração. Todos os trabalhos de Yoneda Kou, conhecidos por mim até agora, são dessa espécie. Inovadores, que tiram seu fôlego, e merecem, sempre, nota máxima. É a arte yaoi mais linda que já vi, e ressignifica o humano, nos faz revisitar aquele acontecimento não usual nas nossas vidas, que escondemos, mas que compõem aquela parte infelizmente imensa das nossas almas.

Eu, particularmente, sou como eles. Escondo momentos, escondo composições. E sou definida por esses traumas, vivo com eles pois me habituei, mas preferiria outro rumo. São, junto a Lan Zhan e Wei Wuxian, de Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, Ash e Eiji, de Akimi Yoshida, e Atsushi Nagai e Kenzou Honda, de Yugi Yamada, os maiores atos e melhores desenvolvimentos que já vi. Aqueles que tiram o fôlego, que fazem doer, e que são incomparáveis e inesquecíveis. São, enfim, lindos na sua tragédia e eternos em seus amores. São Yashiro e Doumeki, da obra-prima Saezuru.