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Sep 25, 10:43 AM

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Aug 2021
4870
I had 120 friends but now it's 119 but I can't remember who left ;_;

Sep 25, 11:19 AM

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Jul 2025
23
couldn't have been me because i'd never be your friend
Sep 25, 11:23 AM

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Aug 2021
4870
;_;

Sep 25, 12:32 PM

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Jun 2020
3360
That's one saucy cream, huh
Sep 25, 1:25 PM

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Mar 2008
53425
Why am I not drunk I had a whole six pack and loraz maybe I drank too slowly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠋⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡔⠀⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡘⡰⠁⠘⡀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡜⠈⠁⠀⢸⡈⢇⠀⠀⢣⠑⠢⢄⣇⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⡟⡀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠈⢆⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⣧⠀⢿⢠⣤⣤⣬⣥⠀⠁⠀⠀⠛⢀⡒⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⢠⠃⠱⣼⡀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠳⠶⠶⠆⡸⢀⡀⣀⢰⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣀⣀⠄⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⣼⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠢⢄⡔⣕⡍⠣⣱⢸⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⡜⡨⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣄⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢛⠽⠗⠁⠀⠁⠊⠀⡜⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠔⣁⡴⠃⠀⡠⡪⠊⣠⣾⣟⣷⡦⠤⣀⡈⠁⠉⢀⣀⡠⢔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⡗⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢑⡨⠊⡀⠤⠚⢉⣴⣾⣿⡿⣾⣿⡇⠀⠹⣻⠛⠉⠉⢀⠠⠺⠀⠀⡀⢄⣴⣾⣧⣞⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠐⠒⣉⠠⠄⡂⠅⠊⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢠⣷⣮⡍⡠⠔⢉⡇⡠⠋⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sep 25, 2:01 PM

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Aug 2021
4870
I feel hate

Sep 25, 2:06 PM

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Mar 2008
53425
Goodbye :'(
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠋⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡔⠀⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡘⡰⠁⠘⡀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡜⠈⠁⠀⢸⡈⢇⠀⠀⢣⠑⠢⢄⣇⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⡟⡀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠈⢆⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⣧⠀⢿⢠⣤⣤⣬⣥⠀⠁⠀⠀⠛⢀⡒⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⢠⠃⠱⣼⡀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠳⠶⠶⠆⡸⢀⡀⣀⢰⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣀⣀⠄⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⣼⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠢⢄⡔⣕⡍⠣⣱⢸⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⡜⡨⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣄⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢛⠽⠗⠁⠀⠁⠊⠀⡜⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠔⣁⡴⠃⠀⡠⡪⠊⣠⣾⣟⣷⡦⠤⣀⡈⠁⠉⢀⣀⡠⢔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⡗⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢑⡨⠊⡀⠤⠚⢉⣴⣾⣿⡿⣾⣿⡇⠀⠹⣻⠛⠉⠉⢀⠠⠺⠀⠀⡀⢄⣴⣾⣧⣞⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠐⠒⣉⠠⠄⡂⠅⠊⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢠⣷⣮⡍⡠⠔⢉⡇⡠⠋⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sep 25, 2:21 PM

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Aug 2021
4870
@traed


????? Are you okay???

Sep 25, 2:21 PM

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Aug 2021
4870
@traed why the 'goodbye'???? 😰

Sep 25, 2:22 PM

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Aug 2021
4870
@traed

Why??? Are you fine??

Sep 25, 2:24 PM

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Jan 2009
16000
Sep 25, 2:25 PM

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Aug 2021
4870
I hope so, I'm scared when people say goodbye like that

Sep 25, 2:31 PM

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Jan 2009
16000
He's been sticking long enough here and I have yet to see him ever getting tired of this place, unless some drastically changes in his life would happen, so the chances are much higher that he will just continue posting somewhere tomorrow or at the very least remain responsive for direct talks

@traed: My sincere condolences for your loss
NoboruSep 25, 3:07 PM
Sep 25, 2:32 PM

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Mar 2008
53425
all my efforts for nothing...everything is too late now...I have no hope for just that little peace of mind of mind. Im just an obstacle to my family so its best I get out of the way so they never have to hear from me again.

I will just keep taking more pills as I feel like...I.just wanted this one thing to go right and that was taken from me by older sister....am I such a bad person. .I'm sorry if I am
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠋⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡔⠀⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡘⡰⠁⠘⡀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡜⠈⠁⠀⢸⡈⢇⠀⠀⢣⠑⠢⢄⣇⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⡟⡀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠈⢆⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⣧⠀⢿⢠⣤⣤⣬⣥⠀⠁⠀⠀⠛⢀⡒⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⢠⠃⠱⣼⡀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠳⠶⠶⠆⡸⢀⡀⣀⢰⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣀⣀⠄⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⣼⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠢⢄⡔⣕⡍⠣⣱⢸⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⡜⡨⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣄⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢛⠽⠗⠁⠀⠁⠊⠀⡜⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠔⣁⡴⠃⠀⡠⡪⠊⣠⣾⣟⣷⡦⠤⣀⡈⠁⠉⢀⣀⡠⢔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⡗⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢑⡨⠊⡀⠤⠚⢉⣴⣾⣿⡿⣾⣿⡇⠀⠹⣻⠛⠉⠉⢀⠠⠺⠀⠀⡀⢄⣴⣾⣧⣞⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠐⠒⣉⠠⠄⡂⠅⠊⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢠⣷⣮⡍⡠⠔⢉⡇⡠⠋⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sep 25, 2:34 PM

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Aug 2021
4870
@traed

My condolences

Sep 25, 2:36 PM

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Aug 2014
645
@traed wdym "more pills"? don't scare us like that... scare us in some safe way please!
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Sep 25, 2:40 PM

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Mar 2008
53425
so far just 1 mg loraz 10 mg oxy and some whiskey soda while I've been screaming and crying and trying to talk to my dad and younger sister. ..I don't even know how go explain what's going on
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠋⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡔⠀⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡘⡰⠁⠘⡀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡜⠈⠁⠀⢸⡈⢇⠀⠀⢣⠑⠢⢄⣇⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⡟⡀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠈⢆⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⣧⠀⢿⢠⣤⣤⣬⣥⠀⠁⠀⠀⠛⢀⡒⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⢠⠃⠱⣼⡀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠳⠶⠶⠆⡸⢀⡀⣀⢰⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sep 25, 2:48 PM

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Aug 2014
645
@traed i've heard mixing pills with alcohol is a bad thing? :O i've read it in some very scientific paper... (Avril Lavigne lyrics)
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Sep 25, 2:49 PM

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Apr 2021
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No matter the situation, Oni never loses his sense of humor lol
Sep 25, 2:50 PM

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Nov 2009
435
^^ ... And i know from lived experience... Stop traed you know what it does...
^ copin be copin 🙏😔🤣🗿

traed said:
I.just wanted this one thing to go right and that was taken from me by older sister...

Wait wtf happened traed?

traed said:

I will just keep taking more pills as I feel like

I know its tempting but please stop if you only got hell people around you would you try chatting with a helpline or contact a church or a volunteer for a visit buddy or something? To get anything better into your life to help you?

Im only mentioning something religious too cause i know your options over there for anything support related is quite hard to get if its not from religious groups.

When you dont have money that is.
DostojevskijSep 25, 3:00 PM
"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"

- HP1 forever fave quote

//This was quoted in the year of 2009
Sep 25, 3:01 PM

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Mar 2008
53425
I don't know I can say full details here and since I'm getting tired....my mom died then a chain of events happened.. .I'm alone here now..forced to move...I just wanted an autospy for her...she is now cremated against my efforts and wishes. ..

I have no friends where I live...I don't belong to churches our views are alien to each other. helplines just repeat back at you what you say to them then after an hour say "well we had a lot you can think about" to try to get moving to the next person..there is no help for me
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Sep 25, 3:03 PM

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Mar 2008
53425
I tried to save her but I was so passive it felt because I didn't know how bad it was and I...idont know..even some geraphobia slowed me down looking for a cpr face mask .I'm just a bad person
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Sep 25, 3:07 PM

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Aug 2014
645
i'm very sorry for your loss traed
don't blame yourself (it's standard psychological reaction to blame yourself for anyone who was with the one who died. it was not your fault and you unlikely could do anything. don't torture yourself)
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Sep 25, 3:13 PM

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Nov 2009
435
Omfg im so sorry traed. How fcking dare they do that. Im so so sorry they did that. Fcking heartless assholes.

Im so sorry you have to move right after too. Its fcking heartless.

Did your family or people at least offer you a place to stay for now?

traed said:

I have no friends where I live...I don't belong to churches our views are alien to each other. helplines just repeat back at you what you say to them then after an hour say "well we had a lot you can think about" to try to get moving to the next person..there is no help for me

Yeah they can be pretty shit when they got nothing and nowhere to offer when you need more than the casual talk.

You clearly need community and people to catch and support you right now. I hope maybe you or your family would be able to reach out to some groups or local people online to help you find SOMEONE or some people to try it with.

I wish the dum religious groups where you at werent too different and odd for you to do that. Cause those cults often be happy to take anyone in but if they unhealthy i get why youd rather not.

traed said:
I tried to save her but I was so passive it felt because I didn't know how bad it was and I...idont know..even some geraphobia slowed me down looking for a cpr face mask .I'm just a bad person

Im so sorry. And no youre not. You always help the best you can. Thats the kind of person youve been to people in fg too. Its not irl but your character in these things have always shined right through. And Oni is right. Its very unlikely those things changed anything for the outcome. You did what you could. Youre not a bad person.
DostojevskijSep 25, 3:24 PM
"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"

- HP1 forever fave quote

//This was quoted in the year of 2009
Sep 25, 3:17 PM

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Jan 2009
16000
traed said:
I don't know I can say full details here and since I'm getting tired....my mom died then a chain of events happened.. .I'm alone here now..forced to move...I just wanted an autospy for her...she is now cremated against my efforts and wishes. ..
Woah, I didn't expect things to get that heavy and serious! That makes me feel even worse now given that I had initially expected something else, but I still have the hope and trust that you're stable enough to continue on. Please keep fighting for your own sake, even if it's just you on yourself. Also agreeing with OniMage here that blaming yourself doesn't help, but do take your time to properly grieve. I'll still be somewhere online (like here or on Teams though on the latter not so often when I don't expect any answers) if you wanna talk
NoboruSep 25, 3:22 PM
Sep 25, 3:19 PM

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Feb 2020
8701
Was just browsing around and saw this thread
I'm so sorry for your loss traed :(

Sep 25, 3:20 PM

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Mar 2008
53425
took another oxy...trying to stay awake...I wonder if my friend who was abusing oxy is okay and alive....I have not heard from her un so long and I love her ..I wanted her safe and in my arms.

Not immediately after it is once the house sells they are selling it in spring. But I've lived here a large oirtion of my life.


I wanted the autopsy to bring meaning to my moms death now it is meanibgkess and my fault..I'm a bringer of death like with my cats and possibly some friends I havent heard from...and those poor mice I didn't find were in the humane traps before they died those poor things in so sorry.

here is mainky Baptists...there is a UU church id be okay with but not near me enough nor likely be much comfort unless they have a time machine...I give up

no no stay awake so I can buy some liquor is half hour walk by road....I need it.
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Sep 25, 3:37 PM

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@traed

I understand you, my OCD also prevents me from trying to learn or do CPR, I would be desperate too and would probably become extremely depressed... my condolences again

Sep 25, 3:42 PM

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Nov 2009
435
traed said:
Not immediately after it is once the house sells they are selling it in spring. But I've lived here a large portion of my life

Ok and yeah :<

traed said:

I wanted the autopsy to bring meaning to my moms death now it is meanibgkess and my fault..I'm a bringer of death like with my cats and possibly some friends I havent heard from...and those poor mice I didn't find were in the humane traps before they died those poor things in so sorry.

Youre not the bringer of death. She wasnt well. You cant control everything. People might have told you or made you feel that way but its not true.
It was incredibly inconsiderate of your family to go against your wishes like that.

Considering that you mentioned you were sleepy please sleep when you can ok traed. You can keep venting as well its good you get it out. Youre very overwhelmed understandably right now, but dont drink more or go out and take any more pills with alcohol the world needs kind people like you ok. It feels very very horrible right now and you want it to stop i get that and act out or punish yourself. And then sometimes sleeping is the best alternative. Please allow yourself to cry as much as you can until empty and try and sleep dont selfharm more you did your best with all of them.
"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"

- HP1 forever fave quote

//This was quoted in the year of 2009
Sep 25, 3:46 PM

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@deathko

Are you fine?

Sep 25, 4:37 PM

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Aug 2021
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I don't understand the prejudice against black people's hair, there's nothing wrong with their hair so why are there still people attacking it??? I feel very sad about it

Sep 25, 5:22 PM

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14392
@Absurdo_N Yes, and you? UwU
Prophetess of the Golden Era
Sep 25, 5:23 PM

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Sep 25, 5:28 PM

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Jul 2015
14392
Hey @traed, I'm sorry fo you. Try to catch some sleep, determining degrees of culpability while half drunk isn't getting you anywhere. Take care of yourself and send a PM if it helps, mate.
Prophetess of the Golden Era
Sep 25, 5:28 PM

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@traed my condolences
Sep 25, 6:02 PM

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@traed good night

Sep 25, 6:05 PM

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Jan 2014
3837
I love coming across an anime on mal and being like "oh yea I remember watching this as it was airing, it hasn't been that long right ? " when reality it's been multiple years

this time shit is getting out of hand
Sep 25, 10:41 PM

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Nov 2009
435
Get up

I just need to get waterhosed 24/7
"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"

- HP1 forever fave quote

//This was quoted in the year of 2009
Sep 25, 10:47 PM

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Nov 2009
435
GETUUUUUP😭 its so disrespectful
"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"

- HP1 forever fave quote

//This was quoted in the year of 2009
Sep 25, 10:55 PM

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Mar 2008
53425
classic roadster-kun tried to run me over....I'm also lost and 4% battery lol somehow me walking around half drunk and high I stumbles to a self serve farmer market after I grabbed booze at convenience store. Keep almsor falling over
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Sep 25, 10:56 PM
horseman

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702
so tired..
been coughing for 3 days now.. nothing worked wth?


v
@cc thanks !!
I did try them & even took some pills.. eases for hours but then comes again
wujackSep 25, 11:21 PM
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Sep 25, 11:09 PM
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TYRANT

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Jan 2009
728
@wujack great name/title combination
I'm sorry about your cough though, have you tried hot tea and honey?

@traed we don't know each other but please take care of yourself, substance abuse is no joke; please find somewhere you can stay, drink some water and stay safe.




Another hero? Oh, please!
You're a god-damn philistine.
Sep 26, 12:58 AM
resident arbiter

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Oct 2015
6813
My deepest condolences @traed. Please try to head to the safest place with people, you shouldn't be outside wandering like this. Also tell someone what you took along with dosages so if you collapse they can call help and inform them accordingly. It's a risky combination, it'd be enough for me to call emergency on you..
AuronSep 26, 1:03 AM
Sep 26, 1:11 AM
𝓨𝓾𝓶𝓶𝔂 ❤

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"Everyone avoids talking about things that terrify them" ~ Kotoko Iwanaga
"Why can't you be true to your feelings?" ~ Kotoko Iwanaga
"He's such a pain." ~ Kotoko Iwanaga


Sep 26, 5:09 AM

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@traed good morning

Sep 26, 1:34 PM

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Apr 2018
104
@Noboru

Really? I didn’t really notice it making me feel hotter, I agree more with the ‘never satisfying your thirst’ part of drinking cold stuff. Same for me, hot showers for the whole year are something I’m doing too. Oh, you like the taste of carbonated water? I avoid it mostly since I don’t like the taste. You drink unflavored one I assume?

Yeah that’s something I’d prefer as well, if only my temperatures were around 20ish degrees normally during summer, I wouldn’t mind if for a couple of days it got hotter. But when we’re talking about constant 35ish degrees, I’d rather have next day at 15 than whole week at 35. Even though a lot say that fluctuations like those aren’t good for health; haven’t noticed anything in myself. Oh so your temperature actually went up to 30 again. Today was a good example of weather I’d like during summer; 20 degrees maximum with wind and some sun, perfect for short sleeves. Seems like no more extended summer; according to forecast, temperatures starting from October should be around 15-20 degrees.

2 blankets?? Is it that cold in your apartment???

So you cannot choose the doctor you go to even if you go to a private clinic? Or I didn’t understand that part correctly. Are you doing bloodwork often or? Good thing is to keep it under control and go on regular check-ups; follow the situation. But as we talked already, finding time for everything might be a problem.

Thank you!
Oh now it’s too late as I’ve already finished almost everything, I already have a job place secured as soon as I finish university so I will learn there.
Sep 26, 3:47 PM

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53425
@Absurdo_N @Onimage @Dostojevskij @Little_Sheepling @Noboru @Deathko @Yamada_Jakkun @Auron @NS2D @CC
Thanks for any ohm condolences and the like.

Apparently my tolerance for drugs is decent. I took 15mg oxycodone and 1mg lorazepam and drank alcohol. Though I think I had some food on my stomach still maybe.

I wound up wandering at night for 14 miles I think hours of walking and got lost, two flashlights ran out of power and my phone was at 4% power but managed to find my way back home phone got to 2%. This was after I stopped at a gas station and somehow wandered into a self pay farmer's market stand where I proceeded to pick produce with care and pay for it exactly correct amount even though I could just steal it if I wanted lol I almost started stumbling near the end which I am not sure if from exhaustion, dehydration or the drugs reaching peak but I don't think I took much. I kind of felt tempted to lay down in the road though since it looked cozy on that back road. At one point earlier a guy tried to stop and ask if I was alright and so did a cop pull over to talk to me but he was nice and didn't hassle me thankfully. Since it just seems weird to people to walk by the main road in middle of the night. I passed out asleep once I layed in bed and woke up with nasty charlie horse cramps. My fist is all bruised from punching a steel door from after the text and my call to the crematory to confirm that had me head off. This isn't even the full story on how much a mess this is.
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Sep 26, 4:07 PM

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Aug 2014
645
@traed glad to hear from you and that you retain self-irony in all this & thanks for updating us. yeah, those back roads can look so tempting to sleep at, it's weird that people sleep in beds instead?! i'm sure if you slept on the road there would be no cramps - so beds are dangerous after all. also if you sleep next to garden sprinkler it will keep you hydrated - where you'd get such service at home? jk aside please stay safe traed and keep in touch, we here are not lorazepam and alcohol but happy to talk whenever you want. take care
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Sep 26, 4:28 PM

Offline
Aug 2021
4870
@traed

hugs for you;_;

Sep 26, 4:30 PM

Offline
Jul 2025
33
Cogito, ergo odi, I am made of hate
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