Ohmena said: So why do good girls like bad guys? I had this question for a real long time. I've been a bad boy and it's plain to see. So why do good girls fall in love with me? I was just about to say this, funniest shit ever |
_Maneki-Neko_ said: traed said: What? I'm not sure if you're being sincere or sarcastic and didn't understand what I said because you dont speak English fluently. I did try to tell her it's best she stay away from him entirely after I was told about that incident. I know her online only so I never knew what goes on at all times with her daily life. Yes, I have seen that with my big sister and two friends too; one of them male with an awfully abusive girlfriend. You can't force them into leaving their partners, they are adults themselves after all. You only can try to talk to them and offer them support, like a couch where they can stay. It's okay now; she broke up with him years ago and he is in prison currently (..err well I hope he still is. I havent talked with her in quite a while). I dont recall hearing about her dating him and him abusing her and all that went on till after. It's bugging me I don't remember why I didnt hear while some of this was going on since it was years ago now. I cant recall if she just sorta vanished on me some time from what went down or if she kept it from me early on. I'm more worried about another friend now but that's even more complicated. I hope your sis and friends get out of that situation if they are hurt from it. |
| cuz bet they have a better pp than you KEK. |
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| Jerks usually tend to be popular as well so that explains it |
 My biggest regret: Reading all 200+ chapters of Kanojo, Okarishimasu |
| Maybe cause most of the girls are looking for bad boys aka the jerks we're talking about and they're using the good boys or just puts them in the bestfriend zone or " you're like my brother zone".Don't know about the girls outside my county but here in bg 95% of the girls are looking for those kind of a jerks that are acting tough,walking tall and think that they are bad boys,forgot to mentioned something(driving golf 4 and thinking that they are the fastest) funny thing is that the girls in my city are falling for those type of a jerks.Don't know how but they're falling.I'm kinda a good guy not so good but I'm trying to be a better person since I left a dangerous and small gang/group of menace to society people.But I was good with my ex so good that I forgive her 2 times after clearing on me,I never even argued with her or yelled to her and she just used me for money and left me after telling me the truth about her loving a jerk🤣🤣Girl's taste.When we have some taste in womans they're always complaining but when they're preferring the jerks bad boys that's OK 😆😆😆 |
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| @Bunille We have both said the same thing for the most part, but I was trying to differentiate people who are interested in bad boys because of other reasons, rather than trauma, as pretty much any girl can be interested in a bad guy for some of the reasons I mentioned. I don't think we've said the same thing in most of what we've written. To begin with, you are not really answering OP's question. He is not asking the reasons why it is possible that a "good girl" is attracted or interested in a "badboy" , but why he "always" gets her. OP implies in his question that by rule a "jerk" is much more likely to have a "good girl" as a partner than one who is not. The other "reasons" that you offer as to why a "good girl" may be related to a "bad boy" do not explain the existence of this norm or tendency. The truth is that the general preference of women towards a "jerk" is not universal and much less corresponds to all times, but rather corresponds to sick social spheres and highly corrupted times. You and OP belong to the Anglosphere and there (especially the USA and Britain) is a rule that women are much more attracted to a man who treats her like a disposable razor than to one who does not, even if te second one is more strong, brave and attractive. This rule is the reason why OP shows so much conviction in his claim, as well as why there is no attempt of you to contradict him. In continental Europe (especially in the more traditional nations), treating women like shit is not usually a trait that increases the attractiveness of men, hence when it comes to seducing women, the "good man" mask it is by far much more necessary in here than in the Anglosphere. Now, this does not mean that men suitable for commitment and marriage are the most attractive to contemporary European women (sick in other ways), but simply that being overtly "bad" is not something that usually helps in attracting to the women un Europe. Anglo-American "players" who have been in these lands for a while know this, hence they significantly change or soften their "game" when they are here. Nor do we agree in the way we use the terms "badboy" and "bad guy" because you use it in an apparently indistinguishable way, despite the fact that a considerable part of the men who are grouped in the first group are not usually part of the second group. On the other hand, I did not say that the woman who tends to choose an abusive man as a partner does so mainly due to trauma related to her father figure. What I said is that this tendency usually originates from a bad relationship that she had with such figure during childhood, regardless of whether or not some trauma occurred, since it is this bad relationship itself that significantly shapes her libido. The woman whose father was a very permissive man who consented to all her whims (another form of bad father), does not usually show traumas and nevertheless she tends to choose as a partner a man with whom she can repeat the bad pattern learned in her childhood. The true is that a strong trauma can -in a negative sense- intensify the way a woman's libido is formed during her childhood, but it is not in itself what shapes. Narcissists are one example of bad people that appear to be good: are you saying that only those with good self-esteem fall in love with them? What I said is that in most cases, bad men do not need to disguise themselves as good men when they want to seduce a woman with low self-esteem, since they are generally easy prey to capture and retain. Hiding its worst facets, (something very easy to do) is usually more than enough to capture this type o woman. That is not the case when the selected prey is a woman with good self-esteem who has had the fortune to be educated in a good home, since she usually has much healthier standards, hence the seducer requires skillfully wearing a disguise that does so being perceived as someone very different from what he really is. Now, narcissists tend to prefer co-dependents as a partner since these are usually the only ones prone to endure their whims for a long time (complicity); however, the most arrogant, intelligent and skilled narcissists will tend to prefer as partners women with good self-esteem who represent a challene, since victory over these inflates their ego even more. And you're incorrect with that on pride, at least with me. I'm selfless pretty much to the core and everyone comes before me. Perhaps pride is innate? Because I sure as hell don't remember ever having any Humanly speaking, it is not possible to be totally disinterested. Somehow, even our noblest actions tend to be imperceptibly tainted with pride and selfishness (evils impregnated to human nature itself.) In fact, those giants in virtue and integrity called "saints" would tell you that without supernatural or divine help, it is impossible to perform totally selfless (no mixture of selfishness) and humble (no mixture of pride) acts. They think this way because their own experience has made them understand that by merely human means it is impossible to completely remove pride and selfishness from the heart. You are too far from even coming close to being a candidate for saint, so it is not true that you are selfless pretty much to the core. The reality is that you are a woman with chronic co-dependency (behavioral addiction) who believes is selfless pretty much to the core. And that erroneous belief comes from a feeling of moral superiority that is often difficult to perceive for those who have from it. Such pride or feeling of moral superiority may not be great enough for you to constantly tell yourself that you are morally superior to whom you choose as a partner, but it is enough to lead you almost imperceptibly to choose to get involved with men whose moraly It is far below yours, for only these can really feed that feeling of superiority, especially when they make you feel victimized by circumstances.. In fact, I would bet that in both your real and virtual interactions there are far more people who in a moral sense can be refuted, corrected and "helped" by you than those who can refute, correct and help you. And ... guess which of these two types of interactions is the one that contains the nutrients that the feeling of moral superiority need? You may not be a proud person in the "popular" sense of the word, but in the theological, philosophical and even psychological sense ... of course you are and a lot. And it is that pride has a variety of facets and nuances. Thus, the fact that a woman does not have the healthy pride of establishing reasonable limits in defense of her dignity when she is morally obliged to do so (this is not opposed to humility), is a clear sign that she is dominated by an unhealthy pride as to his own belief (this is opposed to humility) The co-dependent person is someone who seems to lack all kinds of pride and selfishness, but the reality is very different. I have already written more extensively about codependency in another post a few months ago. Post #56 https://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=1899050&show=50#post56 The reason I'd like to change a partner for the better is for one, the obvious: compatibility. And two: so they're nicer to others. The reason I want to "change" them, is literally "treat others how you want to be treated" You said something quite typical and topical here If the desire for those elements were the true cause of you trying change partner's behavior, the normal thing would be that you tend to get involved with a "nice guy" who is very compatible with you ... and, that is far from being your reality. Such desire that you mention is at most, a secondary cause. As I see it, the main causes why you want that change partner's behavior are essentially the same as those of women with a tendency to fall into toxic relationships. These are: The unconscious repetition of the patterns learned with the parents in childhood and the pressing need to feel needed from a moral perspective (manifestation of the feeling of moral superiority). I honestly do not expect you to recognize what I say as true, but I assure you that if a competent psychologist would think in a way much more similar to mine than yours when it comes to this matter. I can be quick in a relationship, I admit, but that's only if I see hope. This is also something quite typical and topical to listen to and read. In general, women with a messianic complex and their respective relatives need some "hope" regarding the change in behavior of who attracts them, because without this element it would not be possible to nurture their role as "redeemer". I have never seen a woman with this complex who does not have that "hope" Some kindness with them is all I need, then the bad can be ignored. The whole reason Stockholm Syndrome became a thing was that the captors were being nice to the victims: if they weren't nice even a little, that response to them would be even rarer. Victim's desire to receive a little kindness from the one who hurts her is only a secondary cause of her infatuation with her executioner. The primary causes are others and generally ignored by who suffers them, the two that I mentioned being the most common. It shows that you know very little about yourself. I, for one, do not mind who I'm with I don't think so. You could want like a partner to a man who has the capacity to offer you a good love, but you would hardly feel attracted to him and it would be even more difficult for you to form a relationship with him, because his affections would make you feel too uncomfortable because they are fundamentally opposite to your deep and ingrained self-loathing. As a general rule, the best way to observe the type of partner that a person tends to select is by observing their level of self-respect, since the first one is a reflection of the seconda one. Also, I don't get your correlation with "turning gay". That's impossible, just as much as you cannot traumatise/fear a gay man into turning straight. Love enmeshed in trauma isn't proper love so technically cannot be a change of sexuality. There are also many non-straight people who do not have any trauma at all. You will hardly see a homosexual who has been raised in a good home. In fact, it is very common for homosexuals themselves to admit this reality. The root of lesbianism appears to be the girl's unconscious rejection of her feminine identity. The identification with the mother, necessary to access femininity, fails. Many women with lesbian tendencies felt in their childhood a lack of understanding on the part of their mothers, especially due to a lack of dialogue or time dedicated to them, which caused a lack of self-confidence. Therefore, healthy relationships with the mother offer the most important basis for incorporation into femininity and heterosexuality. It has also often happened that many mothers of lesbian women made them believe that being a woman is a disgrace and that the relationship with men is a suffering. Many of them also lament that they did not have real friends during adolescence. There is frequently among lesbians an identification with the figure of the father, accompanied in a paradoxical way by a disgust felt for the masculine image, which leads to mistrust and sexual rejection of men. This has its origin in the absence of a good father, that is, one who fulfills the task of reflecting the differences between him and his daughter with respect and affection, giving him love and positive esteem, in such a way that the daughter feels worthy of the another man's love. A good dad knows how to love without desiring. This produces in the daughter a feeling that is wonderful and that gives a ground of remarkable firmness: "There is someone who loves me and does not desire me." It is not that (sexual) desire is in itself bad, but by its very nature it demands reciprocity. Love without desire, on the other hand, is key in the years when the girl is forming her idea ofofthe world, of relationships between people, of her own worth as a woman. In those early teenage years, love without desire is gratuitous love, so to speak, because it is a support that does not require the effort to please the appetite of another. The millions of women who have had that exquisite experience can testify to what that means, namely, it is the feeling of: “I am valuable; I deserve to be loved; I don't have to buy the affection of others. Homosexuality (especially lesbianism) is not something innate but something acquired ------- I conclude Señorita Bunille by telling you that your colossal tendency to get involved with bad and abusive men (who to some extent corrupted you, whether you admit it or not) is not something that is cured through the use of palliatives (your dependence on a "friend") that feeds in other ways your codependency, but fighting day by day to obtain the habits and virtues that serve to destroy that addiction. And you will not be able to maintain this fight if you do not first learn to know yourself. So, how do you learn to know yourself better? A good start would be to do everything possible to ensure that at least 50% of your online interactions are made with people (especially women) who you perceive to be superior to you when it comes to moral quality. |
_Nemrod_Nov 3, 2021 3:57 PM
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| lmao what is that wall of text for this thread, not even in the political threads lol |
| Being a jerk or being nice, regardless of the other person's taste, doesn't change anything at all, if you have nothing to aggregate to the other person. Why do jerks still get at date? Easy, they still do have something to offer. |
| Today they say you're crazy, tomorrow they will say you're a genious. |
| A lot of the time, those "good girls" are just needy. Or they're looking to change a dude. |
| わかりました |
| OH, NICE GUYS FINISH LAST WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF GAS |
| Go ahead, reply. I'm not going to read it. |
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