Whips are for fetishes. If you wanna catch an ocelot the right way, bait it with a tough integration problem. Soon, it will become confused, because it will not be sure if the derivative of masterhoopla == 0 or not, because masterhoopla may or may not be a constant. While it is distracted by this distubing anomaly, quickly jump on its back and ride it until it becomes tired. After this task is completed, laugh at it because it turns out that masterhoopla is its own derivative, and the ocelot couldn't figure this out for itself. Then plug the ocelot's weight into the equation Fg = Gm1m2/r^2 to find out what its gravimetric pull is. Then put it into a cage and use classical conditioning to tame it. Offer it mints whenever it hears the words "Galk", "Clare", "masterhoopla", "is", or "fail". Eventually, the sensation of salivation will become near orgasmic, and it will become indebted to you. Then it will invite all of its ocelot friends over for a slumber party. Repeat as desired.
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