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Here's mine. It's pretty long, but checks in just below the word limit.
It's a Star Wars crossover entitled Ouran High Wars, so I hope you've all seen or heard of Star Wars xD
Ouran High Wars
Starring:
Tamaki Suou as Darth Narcissus
Renge Houshakuji as Empress Renge
Haruhi Fujioka as Haruhi Skywalker
Kyouya Ootori as Obi Wan-san,
Mitsukuni Haninozuka as Mousedork*
Takashi Morinozuka as Han Mori
Hikaru Hitachiin as H2-D2
Kaoru Hitachiin as K-3PO
Ryouji Fujioka as Leia
Narrating done by Tamaki Suou (all text encapsulated in ~~)
*Chewbacca. Explanation of this later on.
A long time ago - in the future of course -, and in a school not far from here...
~ It is a time of peril! The notorious Ouran Host Empire, under the command of the manipulative Empress Renge, is expanding endlessly across the School, bringing classroom after classroom under their ruthless rule. They control their conquered territory with an iron hand, ensuring through fear that no one will dare rebel against their might. However! A small band of rebels, colloquially known as the Okama Alliance, led by Leia, dares oppose the might of the Empire, and it just happens so that they have acquired the plans for the Empire’s new weapon; the Death Star. It is a small weapon, but is still capable of mass destruction on a scale never before recorded in history!
Above the large, yet remote classroom of the Club for Studies of Savages and Deserts, also known as Tatooine, Host Empire forces are engaging the small band of Alliance people responsible for the capture of the plans… ~
“…Help me, Obi Wan-san. You’re my only hope” Leia said to H2, in a light male voice. “Now you two droids get out of here before he arrives!”
~H2-D2, a utility droid, and K-3PO, a protocol droid, hurried through the small ship, until they were at the escape hatch, where they hurried out, towards Tatooine. The escape pod said “poo~” as they crashed down on the planet
Before long they had burst through the doors and landed on the planet. They lay on the ground, recovering from the impact. Before long however, they managed to get on their metal legs. There were little signs of settlements around, and for the most part the students inhabiting Tatooine were either savages or scavengers, and neither of them provided a safe encounter.~
“H2, let us go that way…” K-3PO said, pointing at what seemed like a somewhat safe path, at least compared to the rest.
“3PO, I… I just can’t.” H2 replied affectionately.
“H2… why?” asked K-3PO in a sad, surprised manner.
“For the sake of the plot… we must go our different ways!” H2 replied, extremely sad.
“That is true. It hurts the deepest and innermost parts of my personality module, but we must go our separate ways…” K-3PO said, and so they walked off, each in their direction.
~Tatooine was a desolate and dangerous place; its canyons and deserts many and its inhabitants fierce. From the savage Tusken Raiders to the scavenging Jawas, it was all but a friendly place for droids such as H2 and K-3PO, who both got taken by these Jawas. It wasn’t completely devoid of human life however; as there was the occasional moisture farm around. Albeit not a fitting place for a heroine, such a… commoner-dwelling was where our heroine, Haruhi Skywalker, had her home.
A cross-dressing girl whose mind was bent on venturing far from her homeroom, an adventurous soul unable to move from home; that was Haruhi at heart and soul. For now she had to remain with her uncle and aunt, who have taken responsibility for her after the untimely demise of her father, but soon her life would be turned upside-down like a slice of bread falling to the floor. ~
“Haruhi, there are Jawas outside! Now we can buy those droids we need!” Haruhi’s uncle shouted from outside the small farm. Haruhi was dressed in a beige linen tunic, reaching down to her knees. Around her waist was a black belt, with a small blaster hanging down from it. A she got outside; she saw a large sandcrawler outside the farm, and some droids walking around.
“I’ll take this protocol droid. What’s your name?”
“K-3PO”
“And as for a utility droid…”
“This one” K-3PO said, pointing at H2-D2, his best friend. “He’s well-crafted and will definitely satisfy your needs”
“Hmm… I’ll take that utility droid” Haruhi’s uncle said, convinced by K-3PO
“Are you sure, uncle?” Haruhi asked, “it looks pretty worn out. I’d go for that one over there” she said in her usual blunt way, and pointed at another droid.
“Do you think you look any better?” H2 suddenly asked, which forced a reaction of annoyance in her, so much that you could almost see a popped vein in her face.
“What was that!?” Haruhi asked angrily
“I mean, your clothes are pretty ragged” H2 said nonchalantly.
“It’s true” K-3PO said after looking at her a bit.
“Look at yourself before looking at others” they both bluntly said in a chorus.
“Uncle, we’re so not buying these droids” Haruhi said, looking at her uncle.
“Actually, we are. They look in good shape; just run some basic maintenance on these droids, you never know what these Jawas do to them.”
“Okay…” Haruhi said, completely defeated, and led the droids to the farm’s maintenance room.
After some fiddling around with the H2 droid, she found what looked like a holo disk.
“Hey, what is this?” Haruhi asked H2 curiously.
“Secret” H2 replied. “If you want to know, it’s going to cost you,” he continued.
“Don’t have any money. Besides, I’m in enough debt trouble as it is.”
“Oh, really?” H2 asked
“What kinds of debts?” K-3PO continued, interrogatingly. Haruhi remained silent.
“Come ooon~! Tell us” they both begged nosily.
“Not going to tell. (…) Oops, my finger slipped” she said, as she deliberately messed up some wiring inside H2.
“We’ll show you for free if you tell us!” H2 asked.
“I broke something reeeally expensive at some Imperial cantina in town, and I’m now stuck with a large debt to them,” she said. “Anyway, aren’t you too nosy for a droid?” she continued, exasperated. “Maybe you should get a memory wipe. Might just fix up such bugs…”
“Then you wouldn’t be able to see the holo disk” they replied devilishly, much to Haruhi’s grief, who yet again had to give in to the droids’ superior captious abilities. Haruhi put the disk into the holo module onH2, and soon a small recording played. On the hologram was a person who looked very manly, but dressed as a woman. In the voice of a male trying to imitate a female’s voice, and very flirtatious, she said: “Help me, Obi Wan-san! You’re my only hope!”
“Who is sh--- he?”
“Leia, the leader of the Okama Alliance”
“Wow, seriously? Amazing!”
“You a fan?”
“Yeah. I’m going to join them once my uncle lets me out of here (…) I wonder who he means with ‘Obi Wan-san’. Could he be related to old Obi-sensei, I wonder?” Haruhi pondered on this question for a while, but was interrupted by her aunt, calling her for dinner, which was probably the usual porridge.
At the dinner table, Haruhi sat down on the table, opposite to her uncle.
“When am I going to be allowed to leave here?” Haruhi asked impatiently.
“Haruhi…” her uncle started, but he was interrupted.
“You’re just going to say that it’s dangerous; that joining the Alliance will eventually lead to my death, aren’t you?” she said cantankerously.
“Haruhi, they are a bunch of people who cross-dress! It isn’t healthy for you!”
“Uncle… look at me! I’m already doing it.”
“Haruhi…”
“Do you even know why they are doing that!? Cross-dressing is their symbol of freedom; by not restricting to genders but rather freeing themselves from that, they can truly show what they stand for: Freedom!” Haruhi said, smashing her fist into the table.
“It does not matter! Haruhi, I will not let you go now! That is final!” Her uncle shouted, before settling and eating his porridge. Haruhi did the same, while her aunt finished hers and headed out to the small kitchen. Haruhi was very thoughtful for a moment, but suddenly her face turned into a juxtaposition of revelation and annoyance.
“Uncle…” Haruhi started, with a slight annoyance in her voice.
“Hmm?” he replied, unsuspecting.
“…you just want a free worker, right?” she continued, very bluntly.
“What? N… no! You’re not free anyway! What about food?” he said, opting for a save.
“Don’t I harvest my own food?” Haruhi replied, beating down her uncle’s attempt at a save.
“What about making it?” he replied, now quite desperate.
“That’s Aunt’s job!” Haruhi said, and got an agreeing nod from her aunt through the open doorway to the kitchen.
“…” Haruhi’s uncle was quite speechless, and sighed.
“Well, you should go to sleep now,” her aunt said, “and you know we need you here, Haruhi.”
“You might be right” Haruhi replied, randomly accepting her aunt’s claim, and headed outside to get a glimpse of the two suns setting before she went to bed. They both shone with a bright orange light, making the surface of the planet seem even hotter than it normally was. Soon the two droids accompanied her.
“Haruhi…”
“Are you crying?” the two mischievous droids asked, noticing the rather sad expression on Haruhi’s face.
“It’s nothing” Haruhi replied obstinately, before sighing and going inside again, wishing that she was flying around in a space fighter or something at the moment.
The next morning, Haruhi got up early to check up on the two new droids. She was approached by K-3PO before she could get out of her room however, and he seemed quite upset, as much as a droid could look that way, at least.
“What’s the matter?” Haruhi asked.
“H2… he… he’s gone!”
“What? Uncle’s gonna kill me if he finds out…”
“It is nothing compared to my pain. Why, oh why did the manuscript have to be like this!?” K-3PO shouted out, seemingly to no one.
Haruhi jetted outside, and fired up the engines of her land speeder. It did not take long before the small hovercraft was speeding across the desolate wastes and canyons of Tatooine, speeding past rocks, sand and moisturizers alike. Before long a small beep could be heard from an instrument in the little land speeder.
“I’m picking up energy signatures from the canyon ahead! It’s most likely our little friend.” Haruhi exclaimed. “We have to beware of Tusken Raiders however.”
Soon they found the little droid, undamaged and full of determination to reach this “Obi Wan-san”, who evidently lived somewhere here on Tatooine. Haruhi suggested that they get out of there as soon as possible, as Tuskens were probably not far away. H2 however, would not budge from his original destination, and in the end - after Haruhi had to give in to the droid duo’s superior argumentation abilities - they decided to just drive to this Obi Wan-san’s hideout.
Before long however, a shot from a blaster hit the land speeder, and Haruhi had to stop the land speeder to avoid an explosion in the engines. Soon a horde of Tusken Raiders arrived, and attacked Haruhi with their blunt sticks. A hit from one of them hit Haruhi in the back head, and she was knocked unconscious.
“Are you alright?” an old man asked. Haruhi opened her eyes, to see a familiar dwelling; it was Obi-sensei’s hideout. He sat on a bench, looking at Haruhi, and next to him was H2 and K-3PO.
“Yeah…” Haruhi replied, and got up. “By the way, this droid here is looking for one Obi Wan-san. You wouldn’t happen to know him, right?
“Obi Wan-san… that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long, long time.”
“So you know him?” Haruhi asked, hopeful.
“Why of course! It’s me!” the old man replied.
“You!?” Haruhi replied, quite shocked. “But what would the leader of the Okama Alliance want with you?” Haruhi asked. “I mean, you’re just an old man; what help can you be?”
“Do you think yourself any better, then?” the old man replied, hinting at Haruhi’s clumsiness which had led to many a debt.
“…” Haruhi didn’t really have any way of defending herself against that comment.
“As I thought. But you said the leader of the Okama Alliance requested my help?”
“Yeah. There is a holo-disk in this H2 unit. Play it, H2.”
The H2 unit played the recording, but this time it had another segment added to it. “Obi Wan-san, you…”
“Hey, you didn’t play this for me” Haruhi whispered annoyed to the droids while the recording played.
“Why, of course not. You think we’d play the whole thing for someone like you?” K-3PO replied. If he had possessed a mouth, it would surely take the shape of an evil grin right now.
“…help me Obi Wan-san. You’re my only hope.” Then the recording stopped.
“Hmm… this changes matters. Haruhi, you must come with me to the Pacifist Club’s classroom on an urgent errand!”
“The what?”
“Alderaan, you dork!” the old man replied. “You must learn the ways of the Force if you are to come with me!”
“Now you’re just joking.”
“Of course not!” Obi replied. “I’m dead serious!”
“What about Aunt and Uncle? They need me!”
“Of course not. They just wanted the free labor!”
“So it was that after all! Aunt just lied to me!” Haruhi said, suddenly accepting the truth that should have been obvious to her for quite some time already.
“First, we need to get to the Anchorhead settlement, from where we can get transport out of here.” Obi Wan said.
“Okay!” Haruhi said, and headed outside. However, the old man grabbed her hair, holding her back.
“First, however, you need to go through some training.” Obi said, annoyed by her impatience.
The following days, Haruhi had to undergo rigorous and harsh training, ranging from normal workout to training with the traditional Jedi weapon; a lightsaber. A few days later, Haruhi was outside, having a hard time doing push-ups, when she asked:
“Shouldn’t I learn to use the force too? I mean, is everything else necessary?”
“Maybe, maybe not” the old man said, and fixed the position of his glasses.
“Hey!” Haruhi said angrily, “am I doing this for nothing?”
“Of course not” the old man said..
“Besides, why are you sitting on my back again!?” Haruhi said, angry as ever.
“Extra training. Continue.” he said, and Haruhi did so, thinking that his man might just be more evil than those droids.
“Can I go see my aunt and uncle before we leave?” Haruhi suddenly asked
“No.”
“Why? They’re probably worried?”
“Then let them be that. It probably serves them right, the way they’ve been holding you up for so long.”
“You really are the devil, aren’t you?” Haruhi said, exasperated.
After a few more days of rigorous training, this including basic training with the Force; using it to move objects and the like, they set out for Anchorhead, to get some transport for their trip to Alderaan. The place, which Obi-sensei described as a dump and a wretched hive of scum and worse, was certainly not a place you’d want to live in for too long. Luke drove his land speeder up to the city’s cantina, and they entered. Haruhi was very hesitant about even being in this city, as she had quite a lot of people waiting for her to pay her debt. Obi went over to a small booth, and quickly returned to take Haruhi with him to the booth, where they sat down opposite to a tall, silent man, and a tiny, cute and furry creature eating cakes and various sweets.
“I have arranged transport to Alderaan with this man and his companion” Obi said
“You mean his pet?” Haruhi said.
“He’s not a pet. I’d recommend you don’t say that, or he’ll get upset!” Obi Wan said, and received an agreeing nod from the silent man sitting next to the creature.
“Whatever. He looks pretty pet-ish to me” Haruhi said, and the small thing began to growl angrily.
“Seriously, he’s bad when he gets in the mood. You’d better not upset him” Obi Wan said, fearful.
“Anyway, what are your names?” Haruhi asked
The man showed his business card, which read “Han Mori: Professional Smuggling”
“And I’m Mousedork!” the small creature said cheerfully.
“…”
“Mouse… dork?” Haruhi replied, outright dumfounded, a reaction shared with Obi Wan. The man simply nodded in agreement.
“Hey, hey, we need to cater to our English audience as well” a voice spoke from nowhere, apparently. Obi and Haruhi hushed back, saying that he did not have any lines or an appearance yet.
“But he’s right,” the old man said, again pushing his glasses in place, “it’s healthy for our income”
This is all a pun on Chewbacca’s name; which would be pronounced in Japanese like “chuubaka”. Chuu means “mouse”/”mouse squeak”, while baka means “idiot”.
The old man cleared his throat, and asked: “When are you ready for take-off?”
“Whenever you are” the small creature replied in a very cutesy voice.
In not too long, the ship was ready for take-off, and the small company consisting of Obi, Haruhi and the two droids arrived at the landing site where Mori’s ship had landed.
“This ship…”
“…isn’t it just a piece of junk?” the two droids asked.
“True enough. Can this possibly transport us safely to Alderaan?” the old man continued.
‘Devils… I’ve attracted a band of devils’ Haruhi thought dejectedly.
“It isn’t any better than you guys.” The little creature with the stupid name said. “A cross-dressing girl in ragged clothes, an old geezer and two rusty droids!” it continued, seemingly completely cheerful and unaware of the gravity of those words. At least for Haruhi, who felt someone were using her as target practice. Han, silent as always, simply nodded. At those comments, Haruhi felt that a sign hung over her, saying “devil magnet” ‘No…way’ she thought, now completely and utterly dejected.
“There they are!” they suddenly heard a female voice screaming, and they turned around to find a bunch of Ouran soldiers - females enslaved by Darth Narcissus’ mighty Force Charm ability - ready to fire a volley of lasers upon them. They hurried onto the ship, praying that they didn’t get hit, and then they took off, driving away from the now helpless females.
~Well in space, they prepared for Hallway travel; which could take them to another classroom in no time at all. Inside the ship, the group of six sat down around a table; the ship was on auto-pilot.
Elsewhere, in the Third Music Room, headquarters of the Ouran Host Empire, I… uh, Darth Narcissus was ponderously walking around, his blond hair waving forth and back in rhythm with his steps. His black robotic suit made his steps heavy, and his black cape waved more than his hair. He was very soon interrupted by the sound of a high-power motor, and a platform swirling around as it arose from the floor. With it came a mischievous female laughter, belonging to none other than the evil Empress Renge. Dressed in a black robe, with a hood that almost covered her entire face, she looked ominous and evil.~
“What are you thinking about?” Renge asked interrogatingly.
“I’m just unsure… if this kind of evil is good for me! It’s stressing me out!” he said with a hint of despair in his voice. Renge frowned heavily, her face shining with annoyance. Then, she suddenly burst out:
“No! No, no, no, no! Noooo! Definitely not right!”
“What is?” Darth asked, confused.
“Your character! You are the dark lord, the villain of the movie!” Renge shouted out, now in her hyper, character-mode. “You can’t be unsure of yourself! Definitely not! You’re supposed to be the badass guy who just waltzes down any- and everyone!”
“But…” Darth barely managed to say
“No buts! You must straighten up” Renge brought out a paper fan, and started hitting Darth with it. After a few painful hits she turned away however, and before long she had found a mask, black and ominous, completely in style with the rest of his suit.
“What’s that?” Darth asked.
“This is the Hyper-Ultra Character-Changing Villain-Inducing Mask!” she said, still quite hyper.
“…”
“I mean… it’s just for show!” she said, and before Darth even had a chance to react, she had put the mask on him. “Who are you?” she asked, excited.
“I am a dark lord… I will conquer the School” Darth said, now with a malice and evil to his voice.
“Excellent! Also, we must try out this new Death Star weapon”
“Death Star?”
“Yeah!” Renge replied, and found something from a pocket in her pocketless robe.
‘How’s that even possible?’ Darth though, confounded. Holding up a small star-shaped object, the size of a pea, she said:
“This is the Death Star!” she said, very excited, “Firing this on a classroom will make in inhospitable for years to come!”
“How so?” Darth asked reluctantly
“You see, when it hits the surface, it explodes and unleashes a stench so horrid that no living being can stand it! Not even the noseless ones!”
‘Does there even exist noseless beings?’ Darth thought perplexedly.
“We will test it now by firing upon Leia’s home planet, Alderaan!” she said, and let out a malicious laughter in a manner only she could. “Prepare to fire!”
Back with our group of heroes, the mood was lively, from Haruhi undergoing malicious training courtesy of Obi Wan-san, to the droids flirting with each other in the corner, the little creature talking to Han with sweets filling his mouth, and Han just replying with a silent nod or shake of his head.
They soon felt a thud as they exited Hallway travel and entered the Alderaan system. All of a sudden, their nostrils were invaded by a horrid stench, seemingly coming from nowhere.
“What is this stench?” Obi-sensei commented. They suddenly heard beeping from the cockpit, and the all rushed over there.
“It’s picking up the energy signatures of a whole armada of ships… civilian ships!” the little creature said. “It’s like they’re fleeing” it said, seemingly unaware of the fact that this was serious.
“I’ll try to make contact with one of them” Han said.
“Wait… you speak!?” Haruhi said, puzzled, and much to her grief, Han just replied with a nod. They soon got contact with one ship, and as the video transfer opened, they saw one man on screen, running around
“The stench! The stench! It’s horrible! We’re all going to die!” he ran around in circles like crazy, but suddenly noticed that our heroes were making contact with the ship. “You! You can’t be here, it’s too dangerous! You’ll all die!” he started running in circles, before crashing into the monitor, falling to the floor. This startled the group, but soon a normal-looking man appeared on-screen.
“Don’t worry about him; he’s just got some mental illness” he said kindly, much to the relief of the group.
“What happened here?” Han asked.
“The Empire… they unleashed the Death Star on our planet… it was horrible! Especially the stench!”
“We noticed that, yeah” the two droids replied
“You don’t have noses!” Haruhi whispered annoyed to the two droids.
“But what about Leia? Is Leia among these ships?” Obi asked nervously.
“Leia? No, she was taken prisoner by the Empire. She is being held in the Third Music Room!”
“Okay.”
“By the way, is that girl over there related to Leia?” the man asked. “She looks so much like him! Are you… maybe… his lost daughter!?”
“…” Haruhi was speechless.
“That might be!” Obi said. “You do look alike!”
Now our heroes had all the info needed, and they instantly set their route to the Third Music Room, and not long after they had already arrived there.
“We must go save Princess Leia!” the little creature said, and Han nodded.
“I’m coming with you!” Haruhi replied, intent to save the person who was obviously her father.
“No.” said Obi Wan-san, strictly.
“You have other business. You must confront the dark lord!”
“I? What about you? Aren’t you a much more experienced Jedi than I?”
“If I go, I will be struck down! Haven’t you watched the original movie?”
“…”
“Go now, Haruhi!”
Haruhi hurried through the Third Music Room, in the opposite direction of the others. Before long, she had arrived at a large room, with a throne in the back, next to a set of windows. On it, none other than the dark lord himself sat.
“Darth Narcissus!”
“You… I was told you’d come. Now, it is time for you to meet your demise!” the dark lord said, his voice being robotized through his mask.
~ They both ignited their lightsabers, and a ferocious battle ensued. They swung their sabers against each other, sparks flying. They used the Force to lift objects from the wall and throw them at each other, like a group of children having a snowball fight! More dueling with their sabers occurred, and soon the fight had moved to a small bridge suspended a few meters over the throne room. I.. Darth soon gained the upper hand, and before long, pushed Haruhi to the edge of the bridge, leaving her unable to do anything. Darth, instead of striking Haruhi down, shut off his lightsaber.
“Aren’t you going to strike me down? Not that it matters; we’ve already freed Leia; my… my father!”
“You think Leia is your father?”
“What do you mean?”
"I… am your father!" Darth said, his voice blurring through the mask.
"No way!" Haruhi replied rejectingly.
"Way!"
"No, I mean, that can't be possible!"
"Hmm... it should be considered normal to reject the fact that your father is an evil lord, I guess."
"No, I mean, Leia is my father! You can't be!"
"You are mistaken. I am your father! I do not know why you think Leia is your father! She isn't even a man!” Darth said, annoyed.
"Ah, I see." Haruhi said, followed by a small pause "Wait!" Haruhi suddenly exclaimed in a shocked tone "That's wrong!"
"What is?" Darth replied, confused.
"First of all, I'm an only child! That’s what I’ve always been told! Secondly, Leia is a man! And Leia looks so much older than me sh… he could be my da… mo… eh… parent! She can't be my sister! And finally, I'm not your son!! I am a GIRL!" Haruhi nearly shouted, veins popping and eyebrows frowning. "Even if we are your children in some way, you've got us totally mixed up."
"Then... but... eh..." Darth replied totally dumbfounded, and pointed his hands back and forth as if trying to explain to himself who was who and which gender
“Leia is a male! I am female, idiot! Seriously, we don't call ourselves the Okama Alliance for no reason!" Haruhi explained, and a revelation suddenly struck through Darth's head, who just stood there, reflecting upon this newfound knowledge. Before long though, he took off his mask, revealing a pretty, blond man. He gently brushed his hair with his fingers, and fell into a completely new pose. Just from looking at him one could see that his personality had suddenly changed.
"Don't you see it now; I am so alike you I must be your father, Haruhi!" he said, now in an over-dramatizing "prince-charming" voice, flailing his hands accordingly.
"No way! It's true!" Haruhi said, obviously being convinced by it. "Wait..." Haruhi said after a small moment, "...is that mask just for show?"
"Well, um... yes. Empress Renge insisted I wear it!" He took it back on, and changed his stance right back to the evil pose. "I am your father, Haruhi!" he suddenly exclaimed. 'There's no way it's just for show... idiot!' Haruhi thought exasperatedly. Darth, believing that she didn't pay attention because she didn't respond, cleared his throat and tried again, this time very clearly: "I... am... your... father, Haruhi!!"
"I know that by now!" Haruhi replied, irritated,
"You do!? Hm… anyway, this talk has become pointless, and serves no purpose save for stalling the plot! So then... where was I... oh yes!" he said, and stretched out his right arm, clenching his fist. "Together, we should rule the School together, as father and so… daug... err… child!"
"No way!" Haruhi replied rejectingly. "I'd rather jump off this edge than to join you!”
"Well then, go ahead! I won't stop you, and it's not like you will die from it either. What, did you think this was the edge of some never-ending shaft? If you’re unlucky you’ll break a leg or something!” Haruhi was taken aback now; she did not know what to do, so she said: "I will never join you anyway!"
"That is the talk of a child. Don't you see? Together we are strong enough to overthrow the Empress, and usurp her position as ruler of the galaxy!"
Their talk was abruptly cut off by the sound of a high-power motor, and a sigh came from Darth “oh, no…” A malicious laughter filled the room, and before long Empress Renge had made her way up to them.
“What is it that I hear? You want to kill me?” Renge said. “That’s impossible!” Before long, she had taken out her paper fan. “Feel the wrath of my Force Paper Fan attack! Hiya!” she said, as she started to hit Haruhi with it.
“Nooo!” Haruhi wreathed in pain! “Dad, help me! I know there’s good in you!” Darth, seeing his daughter subjected to such horrors, did not hesitate much before striking down Empress Renge with his lightsaber.
“Dad… you saved me!” Haruhi said, standing above Renge’s corpse.
“Now, we can rule the galaxy together!” he said. Haruhi frowned, and took of his mask.
“Haruhi… my daughter. You’re safe! Mommy don’t want to be evil anymore!”
“Mommy?”
“I mean, uh-- daddy!” he said, and hugged Haruhi
“But what of the Death Star?” Haruhi said, almost spoiling the happy moment.
“Oh, that? We used the only one we had on Alderaan, and it was only afterwards we found out that we did not have blueprints to make another one.”
~And with this, the evil of the Ouran Host Empire had ended, and the School was once more free from the rule of evil! They lived the rest of their lives as one happy family, enjoying life as it should be!~
THE END
Thunderous applause could be heard, with lots of cheers from girls.
“The first Ouran High Wars movie is a great success!” Tamaki exclaimed to the Host Club, who sat with him in the back of the school’s movie hall.
“No it’s not!” Haruhi said, annoyed “it’s a complete failure! And… “mousedork”!?”
“As I said in the movie, we need to cater to our English audience as well! A Japanese name like “Chuubaka” doesn’t fit!” Tamaki said, like it was a given. Haruhi only responded with a frown
“Besides, Haruhi, isn’t the goal of our Host Club to make girls happy?”
“Yeah…”
“Then, haven’t we succeeded? Isn’t the move a success!?” he sad dramatically, and pointed to the all-female audience-
“Kyaa~ he was so cute”, “Haruhi-samas cross-dressing was…”. Such were the comments that could be heard all over the hall.
“Yeah…” Haruhi said, and grew a little smile. “Maybe you’re right!”
-OOC
-Fairly heavy on Final Fantasy references.
-fanfiction.net says it's over 5000 words, but MS Word said it was only about 4800~. If this is a problem let me know and I'll make some cuts here and there (already had to make alot of cuts and revisions to get it even there, but I can make a few more if necessary.).
Anyway, sorry it's so late, I've been REALLY busy. Thanks for waiting this long.
