| Usually people ask what you, the bullied, would do, or if would help a friend etc. Can't be more wrong, this is a serious issue and for adults. For me the most shocking about bullying in Japan is not that there are lots of stupid kids who do this. Come on, kids are like this. The real problem is the negligency of the teachers (and parents). What you would do as an adult and father/mother, when you kid tell you that he is being abused in school? - Change of school? - Tell to the kid try to react and beat in the bulliers? - Ask for measures from the school adm? - Talk to the parents of the bullyers? What i would do: 1. Before anything, take the necessary time to obtain information from my kid to discover how is the bully and who is doing it, in every details. (how frequent is it, how serious is it, how many are doing it, go to the door of the school and identify the bulliers. Don't pay attention to it is the 1st mistake of most parents. 2. Decide what to to based in the information above: - Sometimes just reacting is the solution, something you can train your kid to do. If the bullier is weaker, i would prepare it for sure (taking care to know who are their parents, sure). - But if it is too serious, then demand action from school, or justice, or police, not only because your kid, but because probably it is affecting others. - If is not serious, but something that may end any chance of your kid to make friends (like in Japan, when the bullied will be avoided by the other kids no matter react to it or not), call for a meeting with teachers, the parents of the other kid, and the bullier. Because is this case, the only way to make your kid not be avoided by the others, is if the bullier kid do something to make the others see that your kid is not a loser. And it works, because to the bullier, usually the bullied means nothing, just another kid, which he can treat another way of there is a pression for it (better than punish the bullier, what among kids will make your son be excluded and the bullier hate your son now by real, leading to worse situations). In more extreme situations, for example in violent societies, like where i live, where bullying is not far from crime, leave the school is the only way to solve it without the risk of bigger and worse consequences, since you can't ask help of the (public) school, police or anyone else. |
Rob7Jun 3, 2021 8:10 PM
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Crow_Black said: take the kid out from the school as schools are nothing but useless in these situations. Well, thinking wider, Schools are useless. Period. But in most countries it is mandatory, so for avoid to change my kid from school to school many times, i would try to understand what make my kid an obvious target of bullying, and work in change it. (Edit. removing the "realistically" from topic, because, all right, it is weeb place lol) |
Rob7Jun 3, 2021 8:06 PM
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| I would ask my child about how he feels about any solution, wouldnt take the risk of acting in some way that could be counterproductive to the solution since my child would know the bully better than anyone else. With that in mind, the best solution in my mind is to talk with the school first, always. The burden shouldnt be put into the bullied kid and anything related with the bully fathers could backfire because the bullying could be intensified as some sort of vengeance. If the school is incompetent, then there is little to no thing to do to solve it in that school in particular since I cant police the attitude of the others child while I'm not there |
| Well, schools are not doing anything because one of the main objectives is to expose kids to unpleasant social situations and train them to defend themselves. Your kid will be seen as even a bigger loser if his or her mother, the teacher, or the local police (ROFL, I am not sure if you are trolling me, but I will take the bait) has to come and solve the problem for them. If the problem is too serious, the only option is changing schools and spending more time with your kid teaching them about how this world works. That will give them a fresh start. I am not sure why Japan gets so much hate, however. China, South Korea (probably North as well), and Taiwan are not much better when it comes to this. In the developing countries or the second world, it is even worse. |
149597871 said: Your kid will be seen as even a bigger loser if his or her mother, the teacher, or the local police (ROFL, I am not sure if you are trolling me, but I will take the bait) has to come and solve the problem for them. Ah for the bully we see in most anime that is not the case "booo, everybody avoids me, i have my meals alone, im depressed, ill kill myself" lol But in real life sometimes it is about drugs, sexual abuse, or violence too much way from the line. So, as i said, even taking your kid from school, call police and justice to act against it (or even against the school admins) is important to protect the other kids. |
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| I will skip the hypothetical. Perhaps a good way is the gray rock technique. It's a method that was originally intented as a way of dealing with narcissists and sociopaths. Basically you act like a gray rock hiding emotion from the person and pay no attention to the person so they grow bored of you and eventually leave you alone because you're no longer fun to mess with. However this method can be considered potentially dangerous because it can make things worse before it gets better so the threat level has to be assessed. There can be other tricks I imagine such as befriending their friends if they have any so them targeting someone their friends are friends with places their relationship in jeopardy. |
| I have a plan of bringing my kids in the future, the daughter included, to boxing/kickboxing lessons. (As it is one of my hobbies going there) So basically that. I would tell them that they're free to beat the bullies up, but if they ever become a bully then I'll whoop their ass. Can't be counting on unreliable teachers now can I |
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149597871 said: Well, schools are not doing anything because one of the main objectives is to expose kids to unpleasant social situations and train them to defend themselves. Your kid will be seen as even a bigger loser if his or her mother, the teacher, or the local police (ROFL, I am not sure if you are trolling me, but I will take the bait) has to come and solve the problem for them. If the problem is too serious, the only option is changing schools and spending more time with your kid teaching them about how this world works. That will give them a fresh start. I am not sure why Japan gets so much hate, however. China, South Korea (probably North as well), and Taiwan are not much better when it comes to this. In the developing countries or the second world, it is even worse. Waw, I hope you spent your middleschool with the head in the toilets. If someone really bullies my baby (hard) I'm dipping perpetrators and unhappy parents alike in lighter gas and starting a giant bday party with human candles. |
DeathkoJun 4, 2021 2:01 AM
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| I would just make a huge issue about it. (Asian school btw) -Hire some student who would spy on them, preferably from another class, and give them camera. -I will tell my son to retaliate, just a tiny bit, to spice up the bullies. -Ask the spy to caught them on the act with a picture or video as proof. Video is better. -Take the evidence and verify. Pay the spy for their work. -Tell my son to create a situation which require parents intervention. -When it my times to shine, I would escalate the living hell of that bullying issue. With evidence I can take this to court. Our school can immediately expel a student if necessary. Since I got evidence, I can even viral the video online and the school will get a bad reputation AND Education department will have that school in their radar. I'll win either way, even without court. Then it should be one of 2 thing that can happen. -Expulsion -Juvenile Reformatory (to court, with evidence) Either way, sayonara to that mofo. |
| I would try to talk with the kid about the issue, why it's happening and if the kid can avoid bullying somehow. Then probably deal with the teacher. Attending school is mandatory up to when kids are 15 years old, home schooling is not legal so changing schools might help but most won't probably do it just because there are either not enough schools in the area or parents work there so moving out of the town is out of question. Also I am not sure how teachers would deal with it personally. Bullies might just gang up on poor teacher and make a complaint or just sign a petition agaist them. Teachers are pretty careful with how they deal with the kids just because they might get fired just because some class doesn't like them. That happened before and honestly because of mandatory schooling, the worst kid can get as punishment is detention or suspension. |
VendeaJun 4, 2021 2:06 AM
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Ghemotoc said: 149597871 said: Well, schools are not doing anything because one of the main objectives is to expose kids to unpleasant social situations and train them to defend themselves. Your kid will be seen as even a bigger loser if his or her mother, the teacher, or the local police (ROFL, I am not sure if you are trolling me, but I will take the bait) has to come and solve the problem for them. If the problem is too serious, the only option is changing schools and spending more time with your kid teaching them about how this world works. That will give them a fresh start. I am not sure why Japan gets so much hate, however. China, South Korea (probably North as well), and Taiwan are not much better when it comes to this. In the developing countries or the second world, it is even worse. Waw, I hope you spent your middleschool with the head in the toilets. If someone really bullies my baby (hard) I'm dipping perpetrators and unhappy parents alike in lighter gas and starting a giant bday party with human candles. Not quite. I spent my middle school years in a fourth-world country in which most of you will not survive. You know nothing, Jon Snow. Not even a single soul gave a scintilla of fuck about how I felt or what problems I had, yet here I am, still standing. Call it survivorship bias, but being an overprotective parent can backfire heavier than you think and often only causes more problems. |
| Change schools is what I'd do. I wish I did it myself, but I was too disjointed from outside world to actually process this kind information and give it a thought. Because, knowing from personal experience, nothing else will help in extreme cases. The more I tried to defend myself, the more people joined in to put me down lol I can tell you that dealing with a mob of bullies, who physically or psychologically abuse you for years, is not fun. And that was just because I didn't "fit in" in their eyes, for whatever reason, but when the "gay factor" was added due to certain circumstances, it all went to hell completely. And who would help me at school? Literature teacher who said "well, those gay writers were demented perverts, but still good writers"? Yeah, right, maybe if I was a good writer myself, I'd be more privileged to receive help lol I never said anything to anyone, of course, since I'm quite a private person. It never really even occurred to me that I should get help or there is some way to handle this, it was just a part of reality for me, I was to focused on being in my head with games, anime, my own world with characters etc. - I was too disjointed from reality to truly process all of it, as I said. 149597871 said: Call it survivorship bias, but being an overprotective parent can backfire heavier than you think and often only causes more problems. I'd choose overprotectiveness over the hell I went through any day. Enduring more than half a decade of every day bullying didn't make me stronger or anything like that, it just gave me some psychological scars that I'm not sure I'll ever recover from completely. |
-YaoiBoy- said: 149597871 said: Call it survivorship bias, but being an overprotective parent can backfire heavier than you think and often only causes more problems. I'd choose overprotectiveness over the hell I went through any day. Enduring more than half a decade of every day bullying didn't make me stronger or anything like that, it just gave me some psychological scars that I'm not sure I'll ever recover from completely. It is all fun and games until you realize that the bully also has parents, and not all parents are equal. Some have been working at a boring office job for 30 years and have $4000 in their bank account. Others are hardened gangsters who run a drug cartel and will murder your entire family and burn down half your neighborhood if you are an adult who dares touch their kid, even when he or she is the aggressor. An overprotective parent would not be of much use to you if you get them killed or in deep trouble. And yes, the more civilized the country is, the lower the chances for the above scenario to occur. However, if you are too overprotective and refuse to instead teach your kid how to stay away from trouble or deal with bullies, sooner or later, one of you will find yourself in a very unpleasant situation. I keep all my psychological scars and always ask myself what I learned from this whole thing. However, I believe that child business is child business, and adults should not be involved (other than trying to give general guidance, perhaps, or as I said, change schools/neighborhood) as they only bring more trouble with them. |
| Teachers can't really do shit usually. 3-gatsu had a great arc about bullying. It seems like people get delusional about high school when they get older, forgetting the teenagers have more social authority. |
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149597871 said: -YaoiBoy- said: I'd choose overprotectiveness over the hell I went through any day. Enduring more than half a decade of every day bullying didn't make me stronger or anything like that, it just gave me some psychological scars that I'm not sure I'll ever recover from completely. It is all fun and games until you realize that the bully also has parents, and not all parents are equal. Some have been working at a boring office job for 30 years and have $4000 in their bank account. Others are hardened gangsters who run a drug cartel and will murder your entire family and burn down half your neighborhood if you are an adult who dares touch their kid, even when he or she is the aggressor. An overprotective parent would not be of much use to you if you get them killed or in deep trouble. And yes, the more civilized the country is, the lower the chances for the above scenario to occur. However, if you are too overprotective and refuse to instead teach your kid how to stay away from trouble or deal with bullies, sooner or later, one of you will find yourself in a very unpleasant situation. I keep all my psychological scars and always ask myself what I learned from this whole thing. However, I believe that child business is child business, and adults should not be involved (other than trying to give general guidance, perhaps, or as I said, change schools/neighborhood) as they only bring more trouble with them. A good point, but by overprotectiveness I rather meant at least trying to be aware of what is going on in school life and pull the kid out of it in extreme situations, if the kid is too dumb or disjointed from reality (like me) to confess all those nasty things to their parents themselves. Overprotectiveness = be nosy enough just to understand what is going on and take action. 'Cause the problem was clearly not me, otherwise I wouldn't splendidly get along with people in the future, despite still being that same me. In other environment things would've been different for me, I was just unlucky, lacked a bit of self-awareness concerning the situation and was neglected by parents and teachers alike, that's why the resolution to the problem never came. As for psychological scars, I don't really know, what can you really learn from them? Aside from your typical "humans are trash" and blah blah blah. Somehow shift the blame for everything on myself, like many people do? That I'll never do, I will proudly blame others, when it's their fault, and not delusionally state that everything bad happening to me is somehow my fault, when it clearly isn't. So, the only thing, that can truly be learned, is probably "shit happens" lol. As for "child business is child business", I kind of agree, but if one kid is beating up other to death or something like that, I'd say it's more than their business lol. I mean, if you see someone drowning, literally and metaphorically, you aren't obligated to help them, of course, but it would still be a nice thing to do and maybe even teach that person how to swim by themselves in the process. |
| I would try see what makes my kid getting bullied and try to make him change according to that while not changing his tastes, personality too much and if it doesn't work, change schools since the school ain't going to do any shit |
-YaoiBoy- said: 149597871 said: It is all fun and games until you realize that the bully also has parents, and not all parents are equal. Some have been working at a boring office job for 30 years and have $4000 in their bank account. Others are hardened gangsters who run a drug cartel and will murder your entire family and burn down half your neighborhood if you are an adult who dares touch their kid, even when he or she is the aggressor. An overprotective parent would not be of much use to you if you get them killed or in deep trouble. And yes, the more civilized the country is, the lower the chances for the above scenario to occur. However, if you are too overprotective and refuse to instead teach your kid how to stay away from trouble or deal with bullies, sooner or later, one of you will find yourself in a very unpleasant situation. I keep all my psychological scars and always ask myself what I learned from this whole thing. However, I believe that child business is child business, and adults should not be involved (other than trying to give general guidance, perhaps, or as I said, change schools/neighborhood) as they only bring more trouble with them. A good point, but by overprotectiveness I rather meant at least trying to be aware of what is going on in school life and pull the kid out of it in extreme situations, if the kid is too dumb or disjointed from reality (like me) to confess all those nasty things to their parents themselves. Overprotectiveness = be nosy enough just to understand what is going on and take action. 'Cause the problem was clearly not me, otherwise I wouldn't splendidly get along with people in the future, despite still being that same me. In other environment things would've been different for me, I was just unlucky, lacked a bit of self-awareness concerning the situation and was neglected by parents and teachers alike, that's why the resolution to the problem never came. As for psychological scars, I don't really know, what can you really learn from them? Aside from your typical "humans are trash" and blah blah blah. Somehow shift the blame for everything on myself, like many people do? That I'll never do, I will proudly blame others, when it's their fault, and not delusionally state that everything bad happening to me is somehow my fault, when it clearly isn't. So, the only thing, that can truly be learned, is probably "shit happens" lol. As for "child business is child business", I kind of agree, but if one kid is beating up other to death or something like that, I'd say it's more than their business lol. I mean, if you see someone drowning, literally and metaphorically, you aren't obligated to help them, of course, but it would still be a nice thing to do and maybe even teach that person how to swim by themselves in the process. Yeah, you are right. Communication is important. Some parents simply neglect that aspect of their children's life, which is not okay either. By "learning," I did not necessarily imply that you should become a pessimistic cynic or anything like that (although some degree of disbelief in human kindness can be useful, sure). It is more important to ask yourself why did this happen and what course of action can prevent such an occurrence from happening again in the future, etc. Sometimes it is not our fault, and it is the world that sucks, but that does not mean that there is not anything we can do about it. |
| it depends really. if it's something minor like getting made fun of then you just have to teach the kid to cope with it. if they don't find a way to do so then they'll just keep being bullied for it and won't know how to handle it in the future. if it's something more serious like getting physically bullied then i'd teach my kid to fight back. since i was a kid at one point, i don't think it would be a good idea to rely on teachers or authorities for that sort of thing. for one, that will embarass your kid and two, it might just make them even more susceptable to bullying. there's no real answer to be honest, i'm not a father so i wouldn't know how to handle this. but as someone who was a kid before, this is the best answer i can come up with. |
 𝒫𝑜𝓅 𝒶 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒾𝓂𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓏𝑒𝒹 𝒯𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒸𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓇𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝒫𝓊𝓇𝒾𝒻𝓎 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝑜𝒾𝓈𝑜𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹   |
| Giving him/her a baseball bat and told him/her to beat the bullies by him/herself , i don't care if their teacher mad and calling me to school , I'm tired with people opressing others and giving trauma that ruin their entire life while the teacher don't give zero fucks about it |
| Хайде, хайде, хайде, това е първата зона, брато, първа зона, първа зона, добре, добре, добре, това става тук горе, отива тук горе, само спокойно, само спокойно... Ха, отдясно е, навсякъде отдясно отдясно къде е дясното ти о да добре добре добре тихо мълчаливо не успях да се съсредоточа върху това ЕХ ТЪПАК КОГАТО СИ БАВНО БАВНО ... ой е путката на моето момиче прасе куче, аз Чувствам се добре, о, мамо, *шамар*, какво е това госпожице татко- |
| I have honestly thought about this. I don't know. You can't just go beat the kids ass since that would be obviously the best option. Guess talk to school is really the only option. Then if that doesn't work maybe go to somewhere higher like a district and report them for not doing anything about it or even news so it goes public and they have no choice to act? |
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| Obviously Train them to fight back that’s the right answer. |
| If it was my kid I would teach him to stand up for himself and enroll him into some martial arts classes and other means of defending himself. Bullies like easy targets, not targets that fight back. I was bullied by this guy in my neighborhood when I was in elementary and middle school. I finally fought back and he never messed with me again. |
| Are you asking me if I would hit someone else's child? Because the answer is yes. |
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ezikialrage said: If it was my kid I would teach him to stand up for himself and enroll him into some martial arts classes and other means of defending himself. Bullies like easy targets, not targets that fight back. I was bullied by this guy in my neighborhood when I was in elementary and middle school. I finally fought back and he never messed with me again. Sure thing! It is like the general rule, that some flakes try do deny. Bulliers don't bully because they have some particular reason to hate de bullied. But because it is a easy target of mocking. Nobody should deny it, but sure there are lots of exceptions, where fight back leads to an escalation of violence. And reacting is not garantee that the kid will not stay alone, because it depends a lot of the enviroment and the general personality of the kid himself. |
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