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Okay, so I started wiring my Batman VS Lupin III fanfiction

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Jul 23, 2016 11:55 AM
#1

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Aug 2013
930
tell me what you think.

Part I

The sun has set in Gotham. Plunged in total darkness, it has once more become the city of crime and corruption.

Somewhere on the rooftops of some 8-story tall buildings, a shadow fleas swiftly like some ninja from olden times.

The mysterious silhouette was accompanied by a screeching sound, a sound loud and thundering, a sound that announces something bad had happenned.

It was the sound of an alarm. A burglary ! Such a vile deed has been perpetrated in the jewellery located in the 5th Avenue !

Dressed in black to merge with the darkness, smiling under the scarf embracing half the face, the agile thief was escaping the scene of his crime with ease and confidence. He was experienced. He was fast. He was smart. Nobody ever saw him breaking into the jewellery, nobody has ever caught him after one of his heist. He is the greatest thief in the world, no sould will ever be able to get their hands on him !

Or so he thought.

Quietly, as if he were a ghost leaping from the pages of a horror story, a large shadow appeared in the light of the moon.

The escaping criminal, feeling a chill behind his back, slowly turned his head to look behind. With an aghast look on his face, he suddenly stopped running. The ghost was facing him. Imposing, intimidating, he looked straight into the criminal's eyes, striking him with fear with a terrifying glare.

He had appeared. The protector of Gotham. The Dark Knight. The one they call the world's greatest Detective: the legendary Batman was on his trail.


Jul 23, 2016 12:57 PM
#2

Offline
Aug 2013
930
part II

"I believe you have something that doesn't belong to you"

Batman spoke with a low but menacing tone.

The thief was so sure no one could find him, let alone track him this far.

After a moment of silence however, the thief had a different reaction than what the detective had expected.

"fu fu fu", he giggled, "you want it, come and get it."

She threw the stolen good in the air, permitting a short distraction for the thief to prepare his next move.

For the Batman had given a look upwards, observing the artefact: what had been stolen was a very precious necklace made with emerald gems, which is a fragile stone. Tossed in the air like this, it would surely break once it hit the floor, which is something Batman would want to prevent at all costs.

This proved to be a ruse however, and it was too late for Batman to realize it. Less than a second after having tossed the treasure into the air, the thief took one of his earings and smashed it onto the floor, which created a suffocating and dense smoke that blinded the vision of the masked vigilante.

The perpetrator took this opportunity to catch the necklace in mid-air and escape.

Batman, thinking what a fool he is for having fell into the thief's trap, delved into the smoke to seize the thief, but the latter had already jumped onto another building.

But being an accomplished gymnast, the vigilante managed to land on the same building, getting almost on the same level as the fugitive. He then threw a batarang towards him in order to stop his course.

But the criminal turned around with a small gun in his hand, and accomplished the incredible deed of hitting the batarang straight with one bullet.

" he's good.", Batman thought aloud.

The thief smiled with arrogance, defying the Batman.

By chance however, there was nowhere the thief could escape anymore, as there were no other building nearby on which he could jump.

"Surrender!", shouted the Batman, "You can't hide from me anymore!"

But the thief, standing on the edge of the cliff, spread out his arms, revealing some pieces of material underneath.

"Who said I was gonna hide ?"

He then fell from the building, reappearing into the detective's sight, floating in the air.

Indeed, the thief had one more trick up his sleeve: his costume could enable him to use the wind in order to fly !

"A flying squirrel-type villain, uh ?" bitterly thought the Batman.

Would the world's greatest thief escape from the world's greatest detective ?
Jul 23, 2016 1:11 PM
#3
Offline
Sep 2012
133
The story is pretty good so far I see some minor spelling and grammar errors but thats about it. The biggest thing is probably writing alot of the story out. I'm also writing a story right now and am focusing on getting feedback and also just getting all my ideas on paper/on a screen.
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Apr 14, 2019 5:04 AM
#4

Offline
Aug 2013
930
With the agility of an eagle, as if he had flown his entire life, the thief soared in the dark red sky. Taking a peak behind his back, he once again giggled, boosted by his own confidence. Even the Batman, famed ennemy of the underworld, cannot catch up to him.

"I'm a bit dissapointed", he said out loud, "but I guess you were just no match for my cunning wits and ski-"

What is this ? Something was slowling the thief down, and he was beginning to lose altitude! How could this be ?

The thief turned to his right leg, and grunted out of frustration. For the Batman was still on his tail! With his remarkable marksmanship, the masked vigilante aimed for the thief with his hook, which formed a knot severily tied around the thief's leg.

Once he has set his mind on a target, he formidable Batman never lets go of his prey. The Batman posesses several qualities, but his most important, which some has even qualified as being superhuman, is that he never gives up! His determination, moreso than his genius mind or athletic physique, is his greatest weapon!

The burglar struggled to part with the powerful grasp, but alas for him, they were now both gliding through the sky.
Gliding? Not for long, for the weigh put by the never giving-up Batman onto the flying criminal forces them downwards, dangerously approaching the ground at great speed!
Apr 14, 2019 5:24 AM
#5

Offline
Aug 2013
930
"Rats!" spurred the criminal, as they crashed onto, not the ground, but yet another building!
They both landed with minor bruises, though for one of them, the bruises were more emotional than physical.

"You ruined my flying costume! Do you know how much this cost me?!"

"Less than the time you'll spend in jail once I'm done with you."

"I'd like to see you try!"

Just like during their first encounter, the two duelists, who were of opposite sides of the law, were facing each other.
As in a samurai showdown, they carefully calculated their next move in their heads, for they now have a better understanding of what the other is capable of. Standing face to face, looking each other into the eyes, they are planning ahead their attack as well as that of their opponent.

After what would seem like an eternity for external viewers, they dashed at the same time towards each other, at unbelievable speed, with only one objective: to terminate this chase once and for all.

At a distance, the thief made a sommersault, landed on his hands and spun his legs around in a dangerous and powerful series on kicks that would have knowked-out even the most durable of champions.
But the Batman protected himself by crossing his arms in front of his face. The rapid thief then quickly made a 360°, tackling the Batman, which made him lose his balance. The thief had the upper hand and was prepared to impale the vigilante with a clawfist he just pulled, but the Batman rose on his feet in a swift move. He threw a batarang, but what an unsuccessful attempt, for his opponent dodged them at breakneck speed. But wait! One of his batarangs actually hit the scarf the thief was wearing, revealing long wavy hair and a voluptuous mouth that could seduce the most stoic of man.

Yes, the thief was not a he, but very much a she!

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Apr 25, 6:15 AM
It’s time to ditch the text file.
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