I am always on the hunt for queer mangas that are sweet and satisfying. And while more often than not I am left defeated by fetishizing, heteronormative, and fujoshi-ridden things to read, Kimi ni wa Todokanai was the light at the end of the tunnel for me.

It has everything there is to find in a slice-of-life BL manga, with a mix of humor and yearning for that best friend you are hesitant to admit your feelings to. There's nothing more you'd want to hold closer to your heart once you find THAT book that feels like a getaway, an escape from reality. The kind of thing you read that you are so enamored by that all of a sudden you reach the end of the chapter, yet you're craving for more.

Honestly, I am quite surprised this manga isn't as popular as it should be, and it's a shame, really, because if anything, it is up to par if not MUCH MORE than most. So if you're looking for some good representation of a queer teenager's shenanigans, then I do suggest that you give this a read.

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Listen. There is nothing objectively wrong with this story. It's the classic BL setup of a guy in love with his somewhat oblivious childhood friend and is scared of rejection. They're cute and enjoy spending time with each other. My problem is that it feels like I'm reading sort of messed up psychological horror.

There are a lot of moments in Kimi ni wa Todokanai that aren't filled with words. Silent pages, observational moments, mute introspection. Yamato's fear is so palpable and the tension between him and Kakeru is so fraught that it feels actively painful to read. Kakeru isn't as oblivious as he seems, but neither of them make a move in changing their relationship, so they just stay at an awkward point of knowing there's SOMETHING between them, but not acting upon it out of fear or other personal misgivings. Miscommunication or misspoken words are standard fare, but for some reason it feels particularly stressful in this story. I wanted to faint when I found out that there are over 5 volumes of story released in Japan. I was only on volume 2!

I like the concept and want a good ending for the characters. It's definitely worth a try. Maybe when more chapters have built up and I develop an emotional countenance stronger than that of a half-melted chocolate eclair, I'll pick it up again. But the tone conveyed by the art feels very jarring, and the drama and decided lack of communication drags enough that I'll stay away for now.

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