I suspect this anime is undervalued. I’m sympathetic to a viewer who perceives the sadistic torture of one main character by the other, with no redeeming objective. If I thought this show represented that, I would join them in hating it. There are people who create suffering in others purely for its own sake. That’s not what’s going on here.
In male-female romantic relationships, the boy has a leading role, or is at least an important source of stability in times of turmoil. This doesn't necessarily apply to you, but it might apply to more people than you think. Those interested can look into female hypergamy, fatter tails in the distribution of male personal attributes, and male-female differences in the distributions of psychological traits ‘neuroticism’ and ‘assertiveness’.
Senpai is a recluse who retreats from confrontation. This can be wise, but if it’s the only response in one’s toolbox, it shuts off possibilities in life. He has lots of growing before 'taking the lead' with a girl. That trait is magnified (“I’ve never looked straight-on at a girl before”) because this is what you do in fiction. It makes it clear to everybody what’s going on. Nagatoro meets Senpai and likes his potential. A future Senpai who's on track is somebody Nagatoro would marry. For the reader who thinks this is not obvious, I’ll try to explain.
- her friends leave as quickly as possible, while she goes out of her way to spend time with him
- this choice speaks louder than words
- criticism usually comes from somebody who cares about us and wants us to succeed; the signifier of contempt is complete ostracism, not verbal jabs
- her criticism is specific and directed at Senpai’s personality-- she’s taking special interest in *him* (contrast her friend’s joke about “Two Piece”), including his ability to make eye contact and make a forward gesture like Siegfried
It’s all criticism of Senpai’s ability to project himself with confidence and take a social risk, which:
(a) obviously Senpai is completely incapable of at this point
(b) is exactly the sort of behavior he needs in order to ‘win’ Nagatoro
She asks him, “do you ever get mad?” A boyfriend who cannot respond to external hostility directed at a couple is very unattractive. Standing up and getting beat is not great, but never standing up at all is disqualifying.
Seems Nagatoro wants Senpai to become stronger. I want to make something clear: I don't believe Nagatoro is aware of this. She’s not thinking, “I want to marry this dweeb so I need to toughen him up because even though he’s attractive our relationship will fail if he’s weak.” She’s not thinking any of those things. She’s thinking what she says out loud: “this guy is weird and creepy and when I make him squirm like this it's fun.” I bet Nagatoro never thinks “I like this guy” for many episodes. This goes back to actions speaking louder than words (or even thoughts). At times we respond to biological imperatives without fully understanding our own behavior. The slice of the brain’s neurological activity responsible for conscious thoughts is small compared to the portion under the surface.
Most of Nagatoro’s behavior is what a strategist would tell her to do. Let’s call this strategist Cupid. I’m not saying Cupid’s master plan to create “boyfriend Senpai” is a guaranteed success. Senpai could cry, retreat even further, and never have an extended conversation with a girl again. Cupid doesn't mind, because if that’s Senpai’s future then Nagatoro needs to move on. This is the nature of a social test. Nagatoro can’t read back into Senpai’s memories. What she can do is use her actions to generate stressful situations and see how he responds in real time. Contextualizing Nagatoro's actions goes a long way to understanding them and maybe even enjoying them (as I did, seeing them as generative and not purely destructive acts). Senpai’s steps of progress also become easier to see.
Since this is about kids awkwardly stumbling in their inexperience I can't figure out if the teases are out of place or make perfect sense. However, the sheer volume of suggestive behavior feels over the top. Side characters are pretty one-dimensional, though I have a soft spot for the art club President, who exemplifies actions contradicting words. She waxes lyrical about the importance of love while having the mien of a battle-hardened drill sergeant. She describes her works with grandiose idealized phrases despite her cynical exploitation of sex appeal. Her words on artistic expression ring true even though she acts like a parody. I love that character.
This story can teach viewers, especially younger males, useful lessons. Parts are unpleasant, but human nature is often unpleasant, and Cupid doesn’t have many options to help Senpai grow. Antagonistic behavior often drives positive growth. Ijiranaide, Nagatoro-san has interactions based in realistic human motivations and behavior, and personally I enjoy watching Nagatoro and Senpai’s journey.
