Most of these productions were of the mecha variety, which is a genre of anime involving giant robots piloted by humans fighting off aliens or other giant robots. Think of the Megazord from Power Rangers or Pacific Rim. And if you're a masochist like me then you've seen all of these movies. I used to think the worst of the batch was Space Thunder Kids, a film that is literally just a stitched-up Frankenstein creation of a collection of other Digiview distributed productions. I'm not kidding. But at least Space Thunder Kids was enjoying in its jaw-dropping ineptitude. I was able to watch that movie three times and each time was more hilarious than the last because I got to introduce other unsuspecting victims to one of the strangest anime films ever made. But Super Kid isn't even worthy of torturing others because in the end, nobody comes out laughing after watching this shit.
Now Super Kid isn't actually a Digiview released film, but it does have all of the trademarks of one. The film was produced in Korea and features stolen ideas and even copied the art style of Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragon Ball. I've had this movie on my radar for quite some time now because the idea of a cheap Korean knockoff of Dragon Ball sounds like it was made specifically for my enjoyment. The major problem is that a physical copy is extremely rare to find, and what uploads I found on YouTube were poorly digitally zoomed-in, which made the viewing experience distracting. Then I found out that this low-resolution digitally zoomed-in version is the only way to watch Super Kid. So I conceded. And it's rare for me to say that I had low expectations going in, and yet I'm still disappointed.
Here's the one positive I have to say about Super Kid that kept it from being one of only a handful of half-star movies I've seen: there was potential for an entertaining movie here. I'm serious. I'm a firm believer that if you're going to rip off a well-known property, at least have fun with it. And this story had the makings of something enjoyably riffable. Where it fails is in taking inspiration from the original Dragon Ball without understanding what made Toriyama's work funny. So not only does this thing have a bootleg Dragon Ball aesthetic, but it also has bootleg Dragon Ball humor. Nothing in this story is ever taken seriously and all of the characters are exaggerations of the most annoying Toriyama creations. So what we're left with is a story that builds up the possibility of world-shattering situations, but the outcome is always filled with painfully unfunny slapstick complimented by an overly exaggerated dub reminiscent of the comedic relief sidekicks in every 80's cartoon. Imagine if Toriyama wrote everything from the Saiyan Saga onward, but his writing ability never evolved beyond the early Kid Goku stories.
But the worst sin this movie commits is having a 105-minute runtime. The average runtime for one of these Korean anime is 75 minutes, which is palatable for any bad movie. A quick screenwriting tip: If you're going to intentionally write a bad movie, keep it under 90 minutes. Super Kid at least doesn't have a lot of padding, but with all of the characters at their disposal the writers never took the time to develop them, this causes a major problem during the finale, which feels cheap and lackluster. Just like the rest of the movie. This is a story that was clearly planned and fleshed out (at least more so than others of its kind), and this combined with some okay animation by the low budget standards of its predecessors Super Kid is the best in at least that category. But there's no charm, no hilariously bad animation, no nonsensical story, nothing of substance to laugh at with friends. And that brings me back to the runtime. Super Kid feels like an eternity. It took me almost a full day to finish and even then I had to start writing this review while I let it play on my phone in front of me because the chore of focusing on this thing for more than ten minutes was too much of a hassle.
If you want an enjoyable cheesy experience, look up Digiview Entertainment's library and watch any of its anime releases. Hell, I'd even recommend checking out Laserhawk. They're awful and I love them because of that. Meanwhile, Super Kid may be the worst anime I've ever seen, and that's saying a lot coming from the guy who makes it his goal to watch as many notoriously bad anime as possible. But at least most of the bad anime I've watched has had some semblance of enjoyment in their ineptitude. Even Dog Soldier, the most boring anime I've ever seen, was brief and left like a fart in the wind. Super Kid is the type of flick that lingers and festers. And just when you think it's hit its crescendo of shit it reaches new heights of sucking. Super Kid is that bad.
