Ei-ji! Ei-jii! Ei-jiiiiiiii! This is most of the useless dialogue from the princess who took it upon herself to seek out the prophecy handed down by the Golden Tribe that would save humanity. What is Ei-ji? It's (yet another) teenage boy with the power to destroy entire planets and therefore give humanity a fighting chance against the evil Silver Tribe. The anime is called Heroic Age. His name is Ei-ji. Get it? He holds the power of one of the strongest members of the long dead Heroic Tribe, therefore...Heroic Ei-ji! We are off to a great start! Now the princess has found Ei-ji, but the Bronze Tribe is attacking! How will they foil the struggling humans and what are their devious plans? Oh wait, they are just a bunch of mindless space bugs with a grandiose name. Ei-ji goes Supersaiyan, using a Sailormoon transformation sequence to turn into an Evangelion mecha monster, then ONE PUNCHES through the bug hive ships and KAMEHAMEHAs the other flying bugs. Problem solved.
Now that the humans have found their savior, how do they treat him? With disdain, jealousy, and fear of course! They can't be bothered to clothe him, or understand that he has the mental state of a five year old from living alone on a deserted planet. Teach him how to count to four or not run in the hallways? IMPOSSIBLE! I'd rather let humanity go extinct than bother with something so trivial.
And who needs a savior anyway when we have such a dependable crew on this valiant ship, the Argonaut. The Princess might as well be a goddess, Athena from Saint Seiya in fact, as she floats around a million different places as a celestial projection, fully aware and omniscient of all happenings, including reading minds and sensing the clashing of cosmic forces, not to mention full certification as a GPS tracker for Ei-ji. Oh Ei-ji! Why do you keep doing all this for us Ei-ji! Why do you go so far Ei-ji! Maybe because I'm god damn immortal and all-powerful so it takes as much effort as yawning in the morning? Is what he would be thinking if he wasn't a caveman child. Then we have the rest of the crew, all teenagers, all with random psychic powers like teleportation or telekinesis, all playing spaceship. There's even one royal knight who thinks he can stand on equal terms with a planet-destroying Evangelion in his standard issue mecha with peashooter, because the difference can be made up with pure chivalry. The cherry on top is the small, talking kawaii creature, contractually obligated to exist in every anime, that sounds like a toddler and has the important task of relaying communications and ship logistics. It's a wonderful crew to shoulder the weight of humanity's final struggle.
And boy is it a struggle. Every episode they are bombarded by mindless bugs and have created a perfect plan. First, use the same battle transformation sequence by shifting the floors of the Argonaut, with the same toddler relayed commands. Then release a bunch of roly-poly beam shooting balls and mechs that can't penetrate the enemy's shields anyway. Finally, watch as Ei-ji somehow wanders outside from an opening in the hull, because space vacuums don't exist in this universe, and uses his patent-pending Sailormoon transform to become deus ex machina-vangelion, one punching the enemy into oblivion and saving the day with zero casualties.
Did I say there were no bouncing boobs or moe little girls? I lied. They are both here. If you somehow get led by the carrot and stick that is the mysterious kei-yaku, the contracts and agreements each tribe has that is supposed to form some semblance of a plot, I am 99% sure it won't manifest into anything inteligent or coherent based on how the rest of the show has performed.
