“you can decide, do you want to sleep with me or not have anything to do with me at all“ (couple 1)
“enough, stop pretending, i know you want me to screw you“ (couple 2)
“i didn‘t mean the relationship when i asked ‚so this is the end?‘.“ (couple 2)
does the art even matter if you hate the show’s concept of love?
my inner alarm bells were triggered so many times throughout this show. it is sickening to think about how many people are stuck in unhealthy relationships like these. seriously guys, i even liked Super Lovers, but this is a whole new level. make a reality check before you’re tricked into fangirl mode. DEFINITELY DO NOT WATCH IF YOU’VE EXPERIENCED EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN YOUR PAST!
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couple (1):
uke1 and seme1 haven‘t seen each other since elementary school when they meet again in high school and seme1 drops that „sex or not spending time“ line. let me remind you, at this point they’re strangers, they missed crucial years for anybody’s character development! while the anime suggests somebody who is in love would say something like that uke1 wants his old best friend back so bad that instead of punching him and moving on, he realizes he’s in love with that jerk.
WTF, this is emotional dependency at its best. you’re so afraid to loose an important person that you would do anything said person demands. and adults comment „they were close as kids, must mean they love each other“ - great, so this is the level of depth this anime has...
in their actual relationship this pattern continues. seme1 can’t stand that uke1 has a best friend and is constantly mean to him. uke1 complains but does nothing no matter how unbearable it gets. it is sickening that the show implies this is ok and what love looks like and obviously gets away with it, looking at all the good reviews. just to be clear, this is not seme1 „having a character“, but simply being shitty. if he had any character at least you‘d be able to say uke1 has a messed up taste, but nah, there’s just nothing they could actually love each other for.
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couple (2):
neglected child meets man with helper complex. this dynamic of the main couple sounds dark and quite promising, both sides have a good psychological reason to fall in love. the gang history of both of them as well as the present teacher student situation feel a little like too obvious choices, but whatever, i like it, it‘s sexy. or so i thought. the problem is not the age gap but how seme2 behaves in this scenario.
uke2 lived in hell when seme2 lets him stay at his home. hero turns stray into housewife (eye roll), secretly feelings develop as familiarity builds up over the years. but ok, if the grooming a bride vibes don‘t turn you off, it‘s cute.
when the teenager finally shows signs of a crush but doesn’t make a move the adult gets impatient. deciding the time of restraint and patting hair is over because he might get some 15y old booty now he drops line 2 from above, in a casual conversation. eww. and to top his shitshow off he lies about not being able to return the teen‘s feelings, although he actually expects him to come forward afterwards.
WTF. we understand you can’t restrain your desires any longer, we know the drill, but is uke2 so unimportant to you, you didn‘t even think this through for 2 consecutive minutes? of course, not only does this crush self esteem, it destroys all the security you built up for him all. these. fucking. years. - for what? a quicker fuck? that’s just disgusting. how selfish can a person be? could this be handled any worse? is „l’m just not a hero“ all you got as an excuse for being an absolute ass? why don‘t you stop him from running away?
down falls the neglected child and with it all the likeability of seme2. but of course this is not the end of things, because... yeah, this is shonen ai.
future „romantic“ events include:
breaking into your student‘s apartment when your bad conscience is finally bugging you. not caring for the pace your 15y old is comfortable with, constantly telling him he needs to show more initiative. playing games about being found out at school although your partner doesn’t want it. knowingly hurting your partner for the sake of teaching him a oh so ‚valuable‘ life lesson. using your friends for a stupid loyalty test to further provoke the thought that the relationship is in constant danger. not seeking the healthy conversation immediately, making sure to trigger his insecurity problems, repeatedly, knowingly. seriously saying line 3!!!
all of this is painful to watch. because again - this is emotional dependency. when everything good that ever happened to uke2 is connected to seme2, then without him, he has simply nowhere to go. breaking up or even trying to avoid the other to think means going back to life in hell. and seme2 doesn‘t care enough to act a tad more responsible and prevent his lover from scarring. instead he is provoking the poor teenager again and again.
being in love is no excuse for totally misusing your position of power. don’t get me wrong, nobody’s perfect. but we’re talking bare minimum common sense here. seme2 could’ve easily taken the pressure from uke2 and given him the assurance he knows this boy needs. you don’t need to be a hero to tell your loved one that it’s ok to have doubts. that he can stay at home anyways. but he doesn’t. why this is considered love i don‘t know, to me it certainly is nauseating.
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if i have to give the anime credit for anything then it would be that it is bold enough to pick the topic of being stuck in an unhealthy relationship.
i think it’s great that gay relationships in general are normalized by the characters. i like the artstyle. i like that it concentrated on an established relationship. that it showed how difficult relationships with big age gaps are for the more experienced partner.
but in the end i can‘t forgive that it‘s romanticizing emotional abuse.
actually nobody should.
the devil lies in the details stated above.
i don‘t want to overlook everything just because this is anime and the industry cannot overcome its tropes. or just because it is shonen ai and there is not a lot of better stuff out there.
i hope someday the quality of my favourite genre will change into something the gay community mustn‘t be ashamed of - No.6 and banana fish are a good start, watch them instead if you haven‘t already, they have an actual genre besides shonen ai. it’s quite sad that this show has almost a rating as high as those...
