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- Producer: Okay, we need to make a new mecha anime that is not a Gundam or Code Geass spin-off. It must become the new big thing, so we must attract as many people as we can. What do those pesky teenagers like nowadays?
- Writer: Hmm, didn't those vampire Hollywood movies make a lot of money? Vampires are definitely trendy right now, we need one of those. But not one of those old, scary vampires mind you, but a sparkly, gay one. And lets have the vampire pilot the mecha, why not?
- Producer: Sold! Any other pitches?
- Writer: Girls! We need to introduce a bunch of girls who like our main character. We need several types of those: one has to be caring and lovable, another has to be strong and determined. We need to make those otaku waifufags happy. Oh, and one of them has to be an idol too. So, there's a harem of girls who all fantasize about our vampire. Also, everything needs to happen in a school. Kids love school. Let's have the characters declare their school and independent country and start a war or some shit! Kids will love it!
- Producer: Yes, yes, I can see this becoming very popular definitely. I would definitely invest in this project. What about villains though? Who should these vampires fight?
- Writer: NAZIS!
- Producer: Nazis?
- Writer: Yes, Nazis. Space Nazis. People love to hate Nazis. It's impossible to make a military anime unless one of the factions is Germanic. But that's not all. We also need a Char Aznable-like character with a hidden agenda who can think 10 episodes ahead. People definitely love this type of characters, I'm sure of it.
- Producer: Great job! Now please write a detailed script of each episode so we can start production immediately.
- Write: Nah, it's okay, we can start right now. We can make shit up as we go along with each episode.
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And that's it. I can't understand how a bunch of people got together and decided to make Kakumeiki Valvrave. It is a trainwreck of bad writing and bad ideas that actually got worse and worse as it went on. At first I started watching this because I hoped it would become some kind of "so bad that it's good" anime, but the bad writing became cringeworthy. It's as if the writers decided to take every possible cliché from every popular anime and mix them together to create this. Valvrave has every possible genre in it: it's a space harem vampire mecha war anime set in a school, with tints of horror and mystery every here and there. The only thing that saves this anime from being a 1/10 is the decent animation, since some studio heads decided to splash their budgets on this polished piece of turd. I can't wait for the inevitable fidget spinner mecha anime that Sunrise will probably decide to make a couple of years from now.
