After watching the first episode of this anime, I was seriously intrigued and really looking forward to the rest of it. The premise seemed excellent, for it was truly unique and held a lot of potential. Despite not being a gamer myself or caring about games in the slightest, I still thought I wasl in for a treat and that this show might even become one of my favorites. Boy, was I wrong.
Although the first two episodes actually have a plot line and are therefore interesting, all logic disappears after episode 3. Suddenly, months have passed, and characters that were originally introduced are nowhere to be found. New characters randomly start appearing and turn this anime into a harem instead of a survival game. This joke of a narrative continues throughout the entire series, putting aside character development, story, life lessons, and anything in-between for the sheer purpose of... girls? (Can't really say breasts since there isn't even any fan service to justify this kind of behavior, so I really don't know what the point of it was).
As with the infamous "monster of the week" scenario from Sailor Moon, SAO uses a "girl of the week" one, where each girl has no backstory or personality (or even any value as a plot device). Their whole existence depends on acting cute in front of the MC, being saved by the MC, and then essentially never seeing the MC again (even if they're technically indebted to him for saving their lives).
The only time one of these girl-bots/NPCs/useless background characters actually dies, the MC spends his time mopping around and talking to himself in order to elicit some kind of response from the viewer (pity? sadness? compassion?), but even this attempt quickly falls flat. Since these characters die pretty much right after they are introduced (and months are mysteriously brushed over in this show), it is impossible to understand what sort of connection the MC had with these characters and therefore how he feels in relation to them. The main character's feelings, however, are another topic altogether.
Our main character, Kirito-kun, is the epitome of "ordinary" in the real world while simultaneously being the epitome of "invincible" in SAO. You may think "What's wrong with that? It's an anime, after all", but the reality is that, even for an anime, the behavior of the main character and of the gaming world itself make no sense whatsoever. Forget rigorous training, failed attempts, and tears-while-trying. Our main character is so much better than that. He can do anything he puts his mind to (literally) without ever breaking a sweat. From the first few episodes, his skills and HP are already better than everyone else's, no one can beat him, everyone's heard about him, yadda yadda yadda.
Again, if this character actually had some development, or, idunno, a personality, perhaps this idea could have worked. In the case of Kirito, however, none of this is necessary. It's enough that he's there. And that is literally all he does as a character, he's just... there. To beat monsters and to reject girls. He has no backstory, no motivations or ambitions (other than beating the game of course, but that's kind of what this show is about, so...) or any other redeeming qualities. As a result, all his interactions and relationships are just as superficial as he is, and have no deeper meaning other than exchanging a few words and either making alliances with or fighting against other players. It is precisely for this reason that I have developed a hypothesis where I think that even if you replaced Kirito with a potato, there would be no difference whatsoever. Heck, if anything, maybe the show would actually become funny or entertaining. A potato that can wield two swords and marry another potato, now that's interesting...
And that's where our second "potato" (aka bland, uninteresting, and shallow) character comes in - Asuna. (No offense to potatoes. You guys are so much better than these lame characters). Although she is supposed to be the great love of our even greater Kriito-kun, she also lacks a personality, a backstory, and even fighting skills after a few episodes. Asuna quickly goes from being a bad-ass, fearless, fighting lady, to a stay-at-home mom whose greatest pleasure in life is making sandwiches for her family. Sexist much?
Her romance with Kirito will also leave you as baffled as every other aspect of this half-baked show, for they literally confess their love to each other without even knowing each other's real names. I know it may sound funny, but it's actually sad. It's sad to see how little the writers cared about this anime and how they expected anyone else to care for it.
This brings us to another "surprising" (see: disappointing) aspect of the show - its length. While a 12 or 13-episode story-less, senseless and pointless show could have been bearable and even forgivable, there is absolutely no excuse for having something so terrible last for 25 episodes.
If you thought the first arc was bad, then you won't believe how terrible the second arc is. In short, it's a total disaster. From the fact that they're not even playing the same game anymore (and that it's still called Sword Art Online!!!) to the already-ridiculous plot holes from the first arc that are now combined with, you guessed it, even more plot holes from the second arc, this part is an entire pain to get through. As if the poor writing and non-existent character development wasn't enough, the new subplots and scenes are guaranteed to make anyone cringe.
Besides making Asuna even more of a non-character by locking her away in a cage in some far-off tower (ok, it's actually a tree, but who cares? The writers certainly didn't, so why should we?) to the subplot I like to call "SAO meets Oreimo", everything about this arc made my skin crawl. Although the "final battle" was slightly more exciting than the one in the first arc and lasted a bit longer (who knows how, considering that fairies can only fly for 10 minutes straight, but Kirito spent at least half an hour flying around...), the fan service, PG-13 BDSM-inspired imagery and the rape references simply killed what little respect I had left for this show.
Perhaps the best part about the ending or near-ending was how Kirito said something to himself along the lines of "did I actually die?". While unintended, this was the only remotely funny part about the entire show because it showed that even the MC himself knows that he is totally unbeatable, invincible, and apparently even immortal.
(When your own "ordinary human" (hence mortal) character is totally baffled by his mortality, you know there's something seriously wrong with your writing.)
Other than that, there are absolutely no funny moments to be found in this series; no social criticisms or political statements, and sadly, not even a story worth watching. The only questions you will be left with will probably be things like "Why did I even watch this thing?" or "Why did I even start watching anime in the first place?", and so on.
Even the mediocre-but-almost-good soundtrack and nice art won't be enough to save you from the plot-hole-ridden piece of trash this show actually is. Unless, of course, your thing is watching pointless, unfunny harems with flat, undeveloped characters that can overcome any problem by overriding any kind of pre-existent logic with last minute deus ex-machina scenarios. If that is the case, then, by all means, go for it.
