Oh.
Just...oh my word.
You know that feeling when something you love and adore suddenly jumps off of the Stairway to Heaven, and into the river Styx, slamming it's head on the steps on the way down? Yeah. That's what this movie is.
Let it be known that I loved the original NGE series, up to and even including the final three episodes despite their flaws. I consider EoE one of my top 10 favorite movies ever made, period. So after I finished watching 3.0, and tasting the disgust in my mouth, I wondered for a brief while 'Is my hatred against this film only here because I have devoted myself toward the original so much?'
Not really.
Let us break this down.
Story: 3/10
Film starts and we see Asuka and Mari (You know, the one fanservice chick from the last movie. The one who really does nothing but pose for screenshots you can use for Desktop images? Yeah, that one) saving Shinji from an...Angel (?). Is it an angel? That's not really answered or addressed. How the hell did Shinji end up in Space again, despite clearly being speared by Kaworu into the ground in the last movie? Eh, doesn't matter.
And already we run into the first few issues of the movie. Questions that are not only unanswered, but swept under the rug. Part of the glory of the original NGE, and to a lesser extent EVA Rebuild 1.11 and 2.22 was the questions that were always hanging in front of your face or just beside it, but never given an answer. Here, they are outright ignored.
This becomes more and more egregious as the movie progresses. And not only is it YOUR questions that are overlooked, but Shinji's also. (back to that in a minute)
Shinji Ikari wakes up after a time skip of 14 years. Somehow he has been saved by this out of left field rebel group led by Misato...and they're pissed off at Shinji for some reason (this is the ONE question that DOES get answered later). Even Asuka is pissed at him and attempts to physically assault him again (Not much of a surprise, that's all she did in 2.22 when she wasn't piloting or cooking).
Misato, Asuka, and a few others go to speak with Shinji (after dealing with an Angel) and then they do...nothing of the sort. NO conversation, nothing of the sort. Then a Eva 00 mockup busts through a wall, sounding like Rei, and Shinji leaves with it on his own choice. This mockup leads him to the remains of Tokyo-3 and the small remaining staff of NERV: Gendo, Rei Clone #9001, Fuyutsuki, and Karwou.
And now this is where the second issue I have with this movie is. Every character outside of Shinji and Kawrou lost all sense of Common Sense. Misato KNOWS what could be done if Shinji falls into the hands of NERV, and she has an infintie number of opportunities to kill Shinji to prevent it from happening. Or even better, COMMUNICATE TO HIM AS TO WHY HE SHOULDN'T LEAVE AND WHAT HAS HAPPENED!!! Either option would have made it much, much less likely that Shinji would have fallen into the 'enemy's hands'.
But nope. Drama.
Shinji soon meets up with Karwou, and the two strike off a great friendship/relationship/near-romance. And I must admit, this was the best part of the entire movie. Because at least Karwou treats Shinji like a human being (until it matters most), and much like what Shinji did for Rei in 2.0, Karwou does for Shinji here.
The plot itself somewhat stagnates here until the last 20 minutes or so. I won't give much more, for fear of spoiling, but let us just say that the two issues above, along with a third story related issue, crash the plot into the ground.
The third issue would be the lack of explanation and background. EVA 1.11/2.22, along with NGE/EoE DID go back, and they DID explain at least some of the events that led up to the current situation. 3.33 does not. Every character has changed, in Asuka's and Fuyutsuki's case for the better, in Misato's and Gendo's case for the worse. All of these are given with only a hand wave of '14 years have passed'. That's great, but WHY? The only piece of information we get as to what happened concerning Near Third Impact and the 14 years after is lacking in showcasing the characters. We no longer know what they are fighting for, and we can no longer agree, hate or sympathize with them.
The story suffers for these reasons, and a few smaller ones also. And it suffers nightmarishly.
Art: 7/10
I've seen better, but not a whole lot of better things do exist. I typically don't judge the art very much unless it is atrociously bad. I will say this though. The backgrounds are extremely empty for the most part. This hurts, because when there is nothing in the foreground worth watching, the background is likely where you'll turn, and it will be no more inspiring.
Sound: Same as Art, but a bit lower. 6/10
Evangelion never had many inspirational pieces save for Cruel Angel's Thesis and Soul's Refrain. What is here, though, typically fits the mood trying to be conveyed (which is one step up the movie took about 2.22, probably the only real step up it took).
Character: 5/10
This is a two-edged sword. Of the eight character primary cast, only three get any real development, Fuyutsuki, Shinji and Karwou. In the case of the first, it is much appreciated, but his character is in a position that can't really go anywhere, so in a way it is almost unnecessary. The later two do great, and actually showcase one of the best friendships that border on romantic that I've seen in years across numerous forms of media. But other then those three people, everyone has been shifted in personality, in a way that almost looks like someone tossed darts onto a board and named each dart after a character. (oh, and there's Mari. She never got developed in 2.22, and she gets no more and no less in here).
The poorness of the other characters is balanced out by the excellent characterization and interaction between Karwou and Shinji, which is MUCH better executed then it was in Ep24.
Enjoyment: 1/10
There really isn't anything to be enjoyed save for a good opening scene and an interesting-in-concept-underwhelming-in-execution scene shortly afterwards. Again, besides Karwou and Shinji's blossoming relationship, there ends up being nothing worth sticking around for, and I frequently found myself dozing off or observing the limited backgrounds waaaayyyy to often. Characters drone on about aimless things worse then they did in 2.22, only now it is so bad that items and locations that sound like they should have significance to the story have as much significance as someone asking another person how their day at work has been.
There is nothing actually worth watching here. Even the fanservice that was hinted at in the 3.33 trailer is virtually non-existent, so don't bother looking for something or hearing something amazing.
Overall: 3.5/10
This is the result of taking a good direction for a story with familiar characters and throwing it off the Chrysler Building. In a bizarre, sadistic way it might be worth watching once, but you would never want to see/hear that splat ever again.
I could never, ever suggest the Rebuild series to anyone I know. Not because all of them are bad, but because this is SO terrible, so disgraceful, so insulting to the characters in it, the story behind it, and to the fans who's hard earned money was wasted on it.
...I fear it might be for this series what Batman Forever was for the Burton/Schumacher Batman series.
