Story: 2
First of I would like to say that the plot to SAO is completely 100% unoriginal and is mainly the wet dream of a creepy gamer manifested into a shitty anime.
The plot summary of SAO is that people start playing this really realistic game called Sword art online through a new gaming device on the market called the nerve gear, minutes after the game is launched they are trapped in this game, the only way to escape is to complete the game by climbing a massive tower and beating the 100 bosses that make up each floor of the tower.
The story is something you would see in almost EVERY CARTOON EVER, no exaggeration; the premise of people being stuck in a video game might as well have been cut and pasted straight from spongebob or KND. While the whole “stuck in a video game” premise is old and recycled SAO puts more depth into it than you would find in an average TV show, at least in SAO the try to incorporate more features of an actual video game such as parties, clans and potions.
The story (while unoriginal) is not always the main focus of the anime, some episodes are devoted to things other than attempting to beat the game, one of these sub-plots (they only take up 1 or 2 episodes) is a stupid CSI crime drama where they have to solve a murder, this episode consisted of the most poor and predictable writing in a crime drama I’ve seen. Another sub-plot is a fishing episode, A FUCKING FISHING EPISODE, IN A LIFE OR DEATH GAME, THEY ARE FUCKING FISHING! I believe that these filler episodes are here to give the world of SAO a more realistic feel and that it can relate to the real life world, this is also expressed through the many social interactions in the game as the characters will often meet in “ye old tavern” to drink some mead, I am glad to say that at some moments (NOT ALL) the social interactions of the characters actually make SAO seem serious as they undergo a life or death struggle.
Though all the social interactions in the game make it seem more realistic it doesn’t excuse the atrocious relationship between Asuna and Kirito and how Kirito apparently has a magnet on his dick that attracts every female in the world to magically fall in love with him after spending literally a day with him. The relationship between Kirito and Asuna couldn’t be worse, I swear to god I wanted at least one of them to die by the end of the show. Kirito the awesome, floor clearing badass becomes Asuna’s bitch after they fall in love and doesn’t stop whining about their relationship, the same goes for Asuna, she used to be awesome but then she becomes a whiny teenager who thinks she knows true love as she met her boyfriend in a FUCKING VIDEO GAME! It takes them 2 and ½ years to actually see each other in person.
Eventually they get married in-game and buy a house in the country side, it’s all nice and dandy in a life or death game not to mention seedy moments from the author including Asuna (a 15 year old girl might I add) taking her clothes off about to have sex with Kirito (a 15 year old as well) and 16.5 (don’t even get me talking about 16.5). BUT it gets worse when they come across their AI daughter named yui who thinks Asuna and Kirito are her parents forcing them into a loving relationship with a daughter, how much more stupid could this show get at this point! And we aren’t even half way through the show.
Throughout SAO they will throw in stupid time skips to pass the time in the game at one point it’s been 1 year and then the next episode it’s been 2 years, instead of focusing on them clearing the game they decide to focus on the relationship between Kirito and Asuna and it is one of the main reasons this show is as bad as some say.
Kirito finally makes it out of SAO only to go back into the world of virtual gaming to join a game called Alfhiem online where Kirito (as the gay love struck fairy he is) has to save Asuna (his loving bride) from a bird cage before a butterfly rapes her and fucks with the minds of everyone playing this game. No joking, that is the plot to the 2nd half of SAO, but guess what! In Alfhiem online you can’t die, you just respawn in 60 seconds, WELL there goes all the tension from SAO! Remember the times when people planned their attacks before rushing to their death, now people just run in guns blazing ready to die, there’s also a point where someone is getting robbed (In a video game) and I quote “give us your items or we’ll kill you”… seriously, SHE WILL JUST RESPAWN! I can’t wrap my head around what the author was thinking especially when they disregarded Asuna for Kirito’s cousin, that’s right folks, no there is incest BUT THAT’S NOT ALL.
At one point in the show this guy named shinichi (suguha’s friend) calls suguha (kirito’s cousin) 100 times just so he can cry about something that happened in game, HOW SAD IS THAT! I seriously can’t fathom this show, why, why is this show so stupid?! I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that this show had so much potential or that an endless swarm of people worship this show religiously like it was made by god himself. I won’t spoil anything but the ending to the 2nd half of the show was very satisfying.
Art: 7
While sword art online’s visuals don’t compare to that of attack on titan and bakemonogatari I must commend it because it is above average and definitely stands out in action sequences (which are easily the standing point of the show) something I must say is that while the art style is nice, environment set pieces aren’t very creative as you’ll get lucky if you stumble into a town or cave but most of the time you are looking at plains, lots or plains and fields, Alfhiem online does look very nice though, especially the town and villages, besides that it is just plains and fields with a side of windy breeze and some lying in the grass.
Sound: 9
The sound for SAO is good, really good the change of pace is perfect as during fights it is fast paced, during CSI detective sequences (ugh) it is a nice slow pondering pace, and the openings for the shows are amazing, especially the first one.
Characters: 2
The worst part of sword art online without a single doubt is the characters, I wanted everyone in SAO to die, I was rooting for the bad guys to win because every single person playing this game has a severe case of stupidity. At first Kirito and Asuna where my favourite characters. But then thy fell in love, Kirito became a bitch and Asuna became more dependant on Kirito, everything I liked about them was taken away from me, shat on and got a little note on it saying “fuck you we prefer our Kirito better”. Then Yui comes along and makes them even worse, instead of Kirito kicking ass he gives piggy back rides and instead of Asuna kicking ass, she sucks dick (16.5). By the end of SAO it went from good – bad – shit – steaming pile of shit – volcanic pile of shit. The show should win an Olympic medal for the best nosedive in history and a military commendation for crushing the spirits of all who watched it. Then in Alfhiem online it got worse by replacing Asuna with his cousin, what the fuck was the author smoking when he made this, was this show all a joke to show humanity how far we can sink? People don’t cry to each other on the phone about a fucking video game! “DU CLAN LEADER ES EVUL UND DES NOTHIN WE CUN DU BOUT IT!”
Though in kirito’s favour he is much better in Alfhiem online as he isn’t Asuna’s bitch for the whole show. The only characters I actually liked where Akihiko kiaba and Nobuyuki Sugou as they were really good villains with half decent plans (who were perfectly voice acted by Mark diraison & Todd Haberkorn). But much worse than the main characters were the supporting characters such as;
The big black guy
The red haired guy
The girl with the dragon
The blacksmith chick
The guy with a bald cut
The cat girl (there has to be at least 1)
The elf guy
Most of these supporting roles got no character development what so ever and were just there so Kirito could add their names to his dick magnet collection of hot chicks playing video games. And seriously I am not sexist or anything but it seems like most of the people Kirito meets are hot chicks with massive breasts playing video games that instantly gravitate to the magnet attached to his dick.
The supporting characters didn’t get enough character development but the main characters got too much to the point that they became parents at the age of 16.
Enjoyment: 4
The sole reason I am giving this category a 4 is because of all the laughter and entertainment I got out of this show, it was so stupid I just had to boost this up from a 2, while the show is stupid and random time skips did the opposite of keeping me on the edge of my seat I couldn’t help laughing at the sheer stupidity of this show. So yes it was enjoyable, very enjoyable in fact but in a bad way a very bad way.
Overall: 3
SAO is the perfect example of wasted potential, it could have been good but they decided to focus more on the cringe worthy relationship between Asuna and Kirito than the actual story and character development. While It tried it’s hardest to replicate serious gaming it went to the point at which it was incredibly stupid and even laughable. What could have been good was thrown in the trash and replaced with the wet dream of a pervy gamer and for that reason I am giving it a 3.
Average: 4.5
