yonderly's Profile


Anime Stats
Days: 60.9
Mean Score: 6.02
  • Total Entries403
  • Rewatched58
  • Episodes3,679
Anime History Last Anime Updates
Jan 24, 10:04 AM
Plan to Watch · Scored -
Little Witch Academia (TV)
Little Witch Academia (TV)
Jan 22, 8:19 PM
Watching 18/25 · Scored 8
Koi to Senkyo to Chocolate
Koi to Senkyo to Chocolate
Jan 21, 4:13 PM
Plan to Watch · Scored -
Manga Stats
Days: 12.7
Mean Score: 6.63
  • Total Entries125
  • Reread4
  • Chapters1,426
  • Volumes202
Manga History Last Manga Updates
Ensemble Stars!
Ensemble Stars!
Jan 17, 8:46 PM
Plan to Read · Scored -
Jan 12, 10:11 AM
Plan to Read · Scored -
Inu x Boku SS
Inu x Boku SS
Dec 30, 2017 12:13 AM
Reading 8/58 · Scored 6


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yonderly Dec 30, 2017 7:39 PM
YaoiMaster Dec 2, 2017 7:26 AM
It's alright. What about your hobbies? I'm very busy with work these days. Yes, that's happened to me many times. In fact, it happened three times while I was writing a long comment, to the point where I gave up. Which reminds me, I must reply to him soon! There are quite a few mistakes, yes, but that's what editing and rereading it for, heh. I hate rewriting messages, but it doesn't make me angry. It's a 仕方が無い kind of moment.

It's good of you to stand up for others. I only ever get spoken about behind my back because users are too afraid of approaching me. They're scared. And it's quite humorous, and oh so pitiful. No one talks about me offline because I'm not worth talking about. I'm just an eccentric looking paranoiac offline. I'm a mystery to those around me, because I tell them nothing about me. That reminds me of Koe no Katachi when they always threw her hearing aids out the window. My confidence is not wavering. And despite what others think, I am a very aggressively confident person, which is not to be mistaken for arrogance because I am not self absorbed in the slightest. People are afraid of confrontations because they want to get away with everything. Poor little sheep.

I am only bored of a conversation when the other person is too secretive or doesn't allow me to talk about myself. As well as that, I hate conversations about anime because I only watch it as a compulsion from my OCD. I don't pay any attention to what I watch because I reply to messages while watching, and as one must know, I only watch with subtitles. That requires the utmost concentration, which I refuse to give. Yes, the more active you are, the more people will notice you and send a message. I get many PMs because people are afraid of talking in comments, haha. Messages with me can become very personal. I don't get annoyed by messages unless the person doesn't capitalize the first letter of their sentences, or if they aren't putting much effort into what they send me, or if in general if they're a boring person. I find most people and things to be boring because I have high conversation standards. Yes, through forums. I'm open about stalking others, I do it every day.
I'm not too quiet, unlike in the past. My voice is deeper than other girls' around me. That makes it easy to hear, but hard to understand, because I slur my words, which is a symptom of Schizophrenia. Incomprehensible speech, so to speak. I don't talk to others because I feel no need to. Everyone is always so moralistic to begin with, and they would never get along with me. Haha, that's funny. One time I yelled at my mother that she's delusional, but I accidentally said delirious instead of delusional. I know many words, so it's easy to get them mixed up. There's no obligation to say hello back, or even respond to "How are you?", because it's such a superficial, forced question.
I've been learning French for two years now. I'm certainly not fluent, but I can manage some sentences. French is a very messy language in terms of how it sounds. I'd like to learn German at the moment. However, it's necessary for me to learn Japanese sometime, because I plan on living in Nara in the future. You can always teach yourself. Some websites online are reliable. I know a YouTuber learned Japanese from a website alone, but I tried the same website and learned nothing from it. Everyone has different learning methods. I'm not fluent in any language but English.
My parents have technically moved. My father was originally from California, and my mother was from Tennessee. My mother was married to a man, and my father was married to a woman. My father divorced his wife and somehow ended up in Tennessee, I believe. So my mother, I've heard, cheated on her husband with my father...? She then divorced the man and she and my father ended up getting married. It's a very odd story. I was born and raised in Virginia, so no, I do not have an accent. Some of my siblings who were born in Tennessee have accents. I have 8 siblings. I'm stuck in Virginia at the moment, but I'd like to visit Germany and live in Japan. My parents are rather poor, too. My mother has a disease which prohibits her from working. In the past she was a nurse who worked from home. My father had two jobs, but lost his second. He is a psychologist for those with autism, down syndrome, and so forth. It would be nice to travel.

Last summer I had an eating disorder, it was a horrible time. I got rid of it on my own and suffered with my attraction. It's good if you can help yourself out of something, especially a disorder. I can't, because mine are caused by a chemical imbalance. Yes, it would appear you're trying. I don't like change. I've been relatively the same since January. I underwent a huge transformation between November of 2016 and January. I will suffer all my life, but some day I will carry out my desires, so it's alright. I can wait. My clothes are simple, but my face and mannerisms are not. People always stare at me and observe me because I'm so hard to figure out, and my behavior offline is very inconsistent. One moment I'm glaring at everyone and the next I'm smiling and in a dreamy state. It happens to me every day. Hmm, why hats?
I stopped feeling such emotions after a boy I was close with stopped talking to me on Christmas Eve. It ruined me psychologically, and as a defense mechanism so that no one could hurt me ever again, I got rid of certain feelings, including sympathy. I didn't do it on purpose, the body makes its own defense mechanisms. So ever since January, I've never gotten those emotions back. The only things I'm capable of feeling are anger, paranoia, and jealousy. Don't be mistaken, that boy was only an experiment of mine. I was merely observing the behavioral changes of a boy who was abused. He claimed to have derealization, but nothing he said ever linked to it. Yes, a symptom of Schizophrenia is emotional flatness, meaning dull emotions. Most pedophiles are also unempathetic people, myself included.

I'd say the best years of my life were 2013-2014. DGD significantly helped me to stop being self loathing. I am glad a friend of mine introduced me to them. What exactly is "anxiety," if you don't mind? Was there a reason for your depression? There is a reason I am the way I am. Part of that being because I live with parents who fight all the time, and my father is an aggressive alcoholic who has abused my mother while I watched. Naturally, people are influenced by those in their environment, so I picked up that behavior, and now I have the desire to injure others. And because I don't feel for others, I am willing to hurt them, it's not just a thought I have. At one point I nearly strangled my cat, and stopped myself. I plan on going to jail some day, after I grow bored of being a psychologist. An odd desire, maybe, but it makes perfect sense after all the shit I've been through. I just want an "escape," and jail would be an escape. Even a mental hospital would be fine. I don't belong here. Society and I are enemies. Why were you absent? Ah, I see. I'm not a very sentimental person. What terrible things have you done? The things I plan on doing are much worse in comparison to the things you've done. I can't discern right from wrong because right and wrong are subjective. And I don't see jail as a punishment, so of course I'd do whatever I want to end up there. When you don't feel things like myself, you don't feel guilt for your actions because you can't care about the feelings of others. It's difficult. It's good Miraculous has done that for you. DGD is the same for me. It helped to drown out the people screaming in my house. I've never seen that show, personally. 8 pages, damn. Do you know, my oldest story was over 900 chapters long? Most of them were rather short chapters, but still. I worked very hard on it. The website was taken down, so all my old writing is just a memory.
I will never understand love because I don't understand the feelings associated with it. I can understand lust, because animals naturally feel the desire to mate with each other. But humans are the only animal who can rationalize. They have all sorts of extra feelings and developed thoughts that other animals don't have. Cats, for instance, will mate, and then leave each other to mate with someone else. Meanwhile humans grow attached for no reason at all. Why can't they be like cats? I wonder. Instead they must "love" someone to "mate" with them. It seems unnecessary. Despite being uncaring, I am a romanticist, when it comes to children. But my "romance" means torturing. Because torturing or stalking are methods of showing someone I care about them. I have a twisted sense of love, indeed. Love's meaning is something very subjective.
The issue with me is that I'm too dedicated to the things I like or do. Do you plan on being a story writer, or perhaps a script writer for a movie? That would be interesting. Carried away how? Oh, no, I know The Diary of Anne Frank, I just wanted to be sure that's what you were referring to. I've personally never read it because the Holocaust wasn't very interesting to me.
I feel derealization every day, especially when I start thinking everyone around me is a robot programmed to say certain things. But that they're all out to get me, and that I'm an experiment of sorts, and they're testing me. That's where the Schizophrenic thoughts come into play, because Schizophrenia is heavily centered around paranoia and delusions. I don't like to go places unless I buy something, otherwise I'm fraught with temptation! When you say interested in younger girls, what do you mean? Attraction-wise, I am drawn to male children aged 6 and younger. I am mature only because of experience and psychology's effect on me. Each Schizophrenic acts different. I have Schizoaffective disorder, which is rare, and characterized by both Schizophrenia and manic disorder combined. Most Schizophrenics with manic disorder don't have Schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective disorder means you have hallucinations even when you aren't having a manic episode. In short, you have them every day, but they worsen during a manic episode. Whereas someone with both Schizophrenia and mania hallucinates only while having a manic episode. This is the difference between myself and other Schizophrenics who have mania. Not to mention I also have extreme OCD and possible panic attack disorder and PTSD. That's what the psychiatrist told me. I require medication because my episodes are severe and very intense, and my hallucinations were bad to the point where I saw a dead woman lying on the floor, and bugs everywhere I went. I still hear voices in my head at times, even with the medicine. My hallucinations are both auditory and visual, and I have every type of delusion. Yes, possibly. Before I became all paranoid, I was very literal, thought-wise. But the more paranoid I became, the more figurative my brain became. So now I have a figurative and literal side.
Everyone is special to someone. I don't know if I'm special to someone. In the past there was someone special to me, but it was always one sided. He didn't pay any heed to me, and instead we were always arguing on everything because I'm "too immoral." But now my conversations with someone special to me aren't one sided, haha. They actually feel for me and don't insult me or argue.
Your brain continues to develop until you're 25, apparently, so I don't understand how your personality is set in stone when you're only 18, either. I don't think people change personalities, just aspects of themselves. Younger people change easily because of hormone levels. I primarily ranted while having a manic episode. They're very evident. I rant about what troubles me. You can access it here.
Chaste Nov 29, 2017 7:55 PM
i suppose i can't blame you; i'm quite the fan of kaomojis myself ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_
Chaste Nov 28, 2017 7:19 PM
pls, this type of behavior is asking to be smothered with adoration while you smother innocent victims with rags drenched in chloroform
Chaste Nov 28, 2017 7:03 PM
that's exactly what a blood-thirsty murderer would say ¬_¬
you lure poor men in with your confuzzled smol-girl charm and then you stick 'em !!
i've seen this all play out before. you're not fooling me.
Chaste Nov 28, 2017 6:31 PM
your bubbly personality is sketchy af. where are you hiding the bodies >:c
bomi Nov 28, 2017 10:04 AM
Agreed, even when you're stressed it pays off because when one doesn't anything to do it can stress you even more especially if you want to do things but there are none or don't feel like doing anything. I'm trying to stay busy too since right now I only have a few classes and too much free time and it feels better. My only problem is when I want to be productive and I end up sleeping until noon lol

Hahah if I wrote fanfiction I'd stay hidden too. Oh! The other day I remembered when a few years ago I did roleplaying... I think that's the nearest I've been of writing fanfiction :c Have you ever done it?

I didn't know that song, I'll look it up now! I bet is beautiful too, I really love her voice <3

I have never bothered to be involved with a fandom, I get bored pretty fast of those things or even talking of only one thing (?) that's why I never created a fandom account on instagram or twitter. And seeing how awkward I am, I wouldn't interact much with others, probably...

They're so beautiful T_T I wish I could do things like these or more like have the patience. I remember I used to watch lots of them but they were about kpop. This is one of my favorites https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUxvFA2dlUE and this is not that edited, it's only a bunch of videos put together but it's beautiful anyways https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL4r5Pg5KVA girlfriends in disguise
Ohh then I'd love to watch them when you put them up!!

OMG I knew about Caravan Palace but since I didn't save any song I totally forgot the name of the band until now, you're my hero !! (´;ω;`)

Tbh nowadays I'd say you can download almost every game out there, but some are difficult to find :( Yay! FF7-10 are the easiest to start or at least to get used to the mechanics, I think.
The main character is the black haired guy? (Akira is it?) because I've seen a lot of fanarts and yeah he's so cute ;_; the game is only for PS4, right? I guess I'll have to watch gameplays *sigh*

Hahaha well, they're there for that. I often bother my mom with stupids thing she doesn't even get and she's there, bored, playing a game in her phone while listeting to me.
Yelling makes you stronger LOL What did he say? I don't think my parents would understand the "win because the power of love/friendship/anger/yelling" xD
Understandable, the only game I've played with my parents watching were the FF ones and The Legend of Dragoon and that was when I didn't have a laptop and I was like... 10 years old? After that, I took the ps1/2 to my brother's room or mine
YaoiMaster Nov 27, 2017 6:34 PM
Ah, I try to reply as soon as I can, but I talk to many people, so I have many messages to reply to at the moment, the majority of which are long.
You have to be persistent if you are to change your thoughts. Persistence is key, indeed. I'm not saying you can change sexual attraction or anything, of course not. But you can be sexually drawn to inanimate objects and such if you convince yourself of it.
Pushover? People are afraid of being direct with me, so if ever they insult, it is in a passive aggressive manner. I am intimidating offline, which is why no one bothers me. They don't bother to try to make friends or enemies with me. They leave me alone altogether. I am one to confront others, as well. Politely, might I add. Depending on what it is they say or do, of course. If extreme, I will have no need to be polite.

My conversations with others are always very personal. I feel no desire for superficial talk. I don't want "chatting buddies" online, I want friends. Yes, I love walls of text. Which is why it doesn't bother me to do research on things. What do I get out of conversations? I get to analyze the person in order to understand a wide group of people. That is, I talk to many people, therefore I have many "subjects" upon which I analyze. You get to tell me all your problems, and you get to learn all about me, too. It's not one sided, my research. I help others with their problems, they listen to mine. That's all. I enjoy problem solving, not the hospitality, or the satisfaction of "helping." I use DMs and PMs more than comments these days. You'd be surprised, I have many stalkers, they could always read anything you write, just out of curiosity.
It is natural to want to be liked, yes. I wouldn't say I want to be liked or disliked. I'd rather people be left with a neutral opinion of me. If they like me, it will not bother me. Just as if someone dislikes me, it doesn't bother me, though it solely depends on who they are, in the end. What does it mean to be "awkward," exactly? You should only strive to gain necessary things. You don't need much power if your standing is low in life. By standing I mean more career than anything. I've known all my life what I wanted to be in the future, oddly enough. I didn't quite revere it until January of this year. Perhaps you could be a translator? If you wish to travel, meet people, and have a good amount of money, that sounds perfect for you. You need more skill than respect in this world to get by. I believe I have a bit of power over others. Well, I don't imagine you will be stuck in the same place your whole life.

Just overcame? When does "just" refer to? I loathed myself for my appearance and sexual attraction. But I now find myself very interesting and long to find someone similar to me. My appearance is fine, I don't think much of it. And my sexual attraction, I will always suffer with it, but I've accepted I have it and there's nothing I can do to alter that. Everyone has things to improve about themselves. I'm not sure what I'm working on improving. Perhaps memory. But a bad memory is associated with Schizophrenia, there isn't much I can do about it. Not to mention I got a concussion in October of last year which impaired my quick thinking and short term memory. Everyone wants attention in some way, yes. Why? Because it is a necessity. One goes mad without any form of human interaction. Interaction means, essentially, attention. You will be admired only if you have a reason for others to admire you. Not everyone has a reason to be admired, and that's acceptable. I was depressed when I was 10-12. Then I got rid of it on my own. I don't believe it's a big deal, most people your age have depressed moments. No. You want a solution to your depressive stages, don't you? So you repeatedly bring it up, in hopes of something happening to fix it. Well, you've come to the right person, anyway. I've helped many people out of depression in the past. And I've recently helped a good friend from becoming fully Schizoid. It comes naturally to me.
No, I do not know how to lie. I forgot how to do many things at the beginning of this year. How to feel sadness, happiness. The only feelings I have are anger and paranoia. And the occasional excitement brought on by a high episode, or a low episode's despair. You're just indecisive, that's all. You'll get over it some day once you figure things out.

Yes, it's special when you find someone who likes the things you like. I've never met someone like that, which is why I search for them, heh. Then tell, why is it special to you? The thing that is most special to me is Dance Gavin Dance.
Ah, yes. When they stare at you often, it must be a crush, isn't that so? That's how I see it, anyway. I can't identify the feelings of others, and a Schizophrenic's perceptions are distorted. But I assume if they look at you frequently, and with a certain look, it must mean something. No, they are quite simple. Someone your age cannot interpret "love" (and neither can I, for that matter, because I do not feel such an emotion), and mistake interest for attraction, because interest and attraction can elicit similar sensations. I have only ever been confessed to once offline, years ago. I rejected him very harshly, and he cried. I suspect two people have a crush on me at the moment, but I pay no heed to them. One of them sexually harassed me not long ago. Unpleasant. You'll fall in love some day, like every feeling person does. But you're wise to think relationships at that age are pointless.
You will only be in a labyrinth if you can't identify the reason for your thoughts. It is good to have specific goals. Yes, you must be dedicated to achieve your dream. I am very dedicated, in fact. But that comes with having extreme OCD, haha. Self control and obsessive behavior. To find a dream, you first take your interests into consideration and find something that could relate to those. Incorporate your skills in your work, you know? I'm not too sentimental. I'm only sentimental regarding objects. "I refuse to throw this blanket away," for instance. Oh, it isn't the most proper writing, but it isn't too simplistic, either. Anne's Diary?
I hate being around people because it worsens my derealization. Derealization is when you think the world around you doesn't exist, and neither do you. Depersonalization is when you kind of abandon your body altogether. I suffer from bad derealization, because Schizophrenia is, well, a detachment from reality. I dislike cities because I hate noise. I like to walk around malls, too. But I have a distaste for shopping. Zombies are beautiful in their own special way. I would describe it, but it would be a bit... much. It's normal to be afraid of creatures you aren't familiar with. My experiences are much different than other people's. I've suffered much more, and acknowledge that. I suffer from Schizoaffective disorder, which is a mixture of Schizophrenia and mania. It's uncommon, so I can't find anyone I relate to. Everyone with Schizophrenia has different experiences with it. It is definitely weird how the conscience works. I can remember things subconsciously, but not consciously. Odd. Would what be related to Schizophrenia?
Everyone's "special" is subjective. I have people special to me, but are they special to society? Probably not. In fact, the majority would look down on them. But I respect them, just as they respect me. I dislike when people treat a person as if they are special, however. Not exciting? I'll see about that.
I've only changed for the worst this whole year. But I have grown, as a person. Yes, indeed, I've grown. You have years to change. According to my psychiatrist, the personality stops evolving after age 18. I'm not sure if that is true or not, and I'll look into it. It's good to look back on things! That's why I have my rant thread, as well. To see how my thoughts have progressed, and whether or not I've stabilized in some way.
Interpersonal means having to do with understanding other people, whereas intrapersonal is understanding yourself.
juliuscaesar387 Nov 27, 2017 4:54 AM
Hmm... What do I think of Madoka Magica? I think it is not possible to truly put into words how someone feels when they look at the the one thing that they just detest with all their heart and soul. Madoka Magica is like looking into an abyss of all the misery in the world, put into a series of episodes that just causes the viewer to feel detached from themself.

I must have only watched 5 minutes out of that entire series, and even though I have it set as completed, I don't consider it an anime I've watched. I consider it to be an anime that I barely endured for 5 minutes of what can only be described as Hell. I set it as completed to stop anyone in the future from telling me to give it another go (Which I did do after I got a reccommendation to, and let me tell you the end result did not change in the slightest), and I will never understand why people consider that thing to be worth watching.

I am sorry for my little rant there. I don't normally talk like that on here. To answer your question in short, I didn't like the animation or the characters, the whole thing just got boring within the first minute. That has never happened to me while watching an anime before, and that is why I didn't like it.
juliuscaesar387 Nov 26, 2017 3:16 PM
I just have to say that your dislike for Elfen Lied is certainly mutual. One of the worst anime I've seen. I would personally have Madoka Magika at the bottom as well, though.
YaoiMaster Nov 26, 2017 5:37 AM
Sorry for the somewhat late reply, I had to go somewhere yesterday.
It's good to be open minded about what people sexualize, because it's not as if they chose it. Most people don't look at cute things in that way, but I taught myself. Through cognitive psychology, haha. The more you think about something in a sexual way, the more your body will begin to react to those thoughts. It's kind of like a physiological reaction. The more you think something, the more true it becomes, which is why I say thoughts are dangerous.
I'm laid back, as well. Until someone screws with me, because I'm a very vengeful and unforgiving person.

It's unfortunate that people offline insist on having small talk at all times because they're too lazy to go with a deep conversation, or perhaps embarrassed to do so. Boring conversations aren't beneficial, believe me. I spent most of last year having boring conversations on MAL and I was forcing myself to the point where I abandoned many people because I couldn't stand it anymore. Now I have long conversations with many people, especially in DMs or PMs, because other people prefer the privacy, though I personally don't care for it. Do you wish to be admired, then? I am rather charismatic offline, but I don't talk to anyone because my mental state is also very unstable, not to mention I am not easily interested or amused. I'd say I'm primarily admired or respected by others online, especially when they know me well. Why is it you need power? Haha. My plans, unlike you, are extreme. I'm an extremist. Not for the sake of being extreme, but for the sake of being myself.
Is that so? I would say I partially agree. Though whether you hate some aspect of yourself is entirely a choice. I used to be a very self loathing person, myself, but grew to be very confident and like myself quite a bit. I've come to accept myself as I am, because I can't cure myself of the things I have. I hate liars more than anything else. I don't see you as a liar. I have a good liar radar, trust me. Let's start here. If you believe everything you say is for attention, what kind of attention? Why do you want that attention? Is it necessary? I don't say anything for attention, everything I say is honest and for the sake of the other person understanding me better. Well, you can always be yourself around me. So if you know yourself but dislike yourself, it's fine by me. You're perhaps thinking too hard about things.
Being aware of hypocrisy is a good trait to have. If I think something is hypocritical, I always mention it. It's called projection. If you see yourself as being one way, you'll accuse someone else of being that same way. It's what many people do. I always have to call them out on it. I'll have you know, however, that I do not know how to lie, because I cannot process common "emotions."

Well, yes, most people will not be drawn to a cartoon intended for a childlike fanbase, haha. Not that there's anything wrong with liking it, but it's expected that you'll be rather alone on that interest. I don't have any immature interests, I don't know what it must be like. I value small things, and find beauty in things others do not. Do you think of it as something like that? I don't know, do signs point to it being a crush? I personally have not had a crush on anyone since I was 7. For obvious reasons, I hope. Unfortunately people feel this attraction without actually knowing anything about the person. I've rejected a few people because, well, I cannot feel love, and they hardly knew me at all. I think only one person knows me very well, but we talk in PMs. Oh, my friend Dory's from Canada.
Do you think their mindset will rub off on you, then? Yes, mindsets are very important, that's the key to cognitive psychology, you're already a step ahead. Once you change your mindset, your actions and behavior change, too. It's very wondrous. Despite writing well, I don't gain inspiration from novels. I don't read much, in fact, I simply have a good imagination and a vast vocabulary. I study the dictionary because that is a hobby of mine. I like dystopias, they're rather beautiful. I love abandoned places in general, and worlds that are in ruin or evoke mystery. I have the belief that the zombie apocalypse will be upon us some day. Because I am delusional, not because I am unintelligent. Schizophrenia is accompanied by delusions, and I suffer from it. I'm not afraid of an impending apocalypse, however. I'm also not afraid of dying or getting raped or kidnapped. My brain is wired differently than other people's. I suppose you could say I... cheated the system. I got that line from a movie because he was referring to fear, like me. My favorite book, for years, has been Hatchet, because it largely inspired my writing style now. My writing is very symbolic because the way I think is very metaphorical and figurative. But the things I say, and the things I perceive, are literal. It's as if there are two sides of my brain, the figurative and the literal. Symbolism can be used in any writing, if done correctly. I'm very used to writing it, myself, so it's just second nature to me. Then again, my works are serious. My writing is very colorful and extreme. If you write about things you relate to, but describe your writing as dull, does that mean you see yourself as such? I don't like to write fantasy things because I don't like fantasy. Oftentimes my story has an underlying fantasy element to it, but because it isn't very prominent, adding it in doesn't bother me. Most of my characters are in their twenties because I can relate most to that mindset. My stories are all a part of one series, a big series, with dozens of characters. You can create struggles for them. My latest story is about men who are perhaps in their mid twenties. But the whole story revolves around a pedophile serial killer, and his stalker coworker. I can write it well because I can relate to both characters.
It can be a lot to take in. Last year, I was very indecisive about myself. The more you observe, the more you understand. You have many puzzle pieces, and you have to put them all together. When I find something new about myself, I often say I found another part of the puzzle that is me. You can change drastically in one year. I am very different this year than last year. But I feel this will be my default for quite a while, unless I happen to go insane, which doesn't seem unlikely.
That's good! I read somewhere that Schizophrenics are good at cognitive and intrapersonal things. Hence why I love cognitive psychology so much, and am very self aware.
YaoiMaster Nov 24, 2017 4:53 PM
That's what I assumed. I like cute things, too, because I sexualize them. I can't help that part of myself. I am a very stoic and serious person both online and offline. Composed is a good word, too. People call me intimidating.

Indeed. You will not understand how everyone thinks, but you can always ask "why." "Why" questions are the best questions. It's best to wonder why people do things, why they think things, why they react a certain way. Perhaps they don't know, themselves. Thus it's your job to observe them and find out. I used to be a very shy person, but I'm not shy anymore, I just prefer not to interact with others because I don't gain anything from it. Small talk bores someone like me. Which is why I spend all day replying to very long PMs and DMs, and dedicate my life to being online. You'll grow out of the awkwardness, if you choose to. The more you dwell on it, the worse it will be. Remember that.
I know everything about myself. I only contradict myself if I'm having a manic episode. Mania is a disorder characterized by intense high and low moods. I am medicated, so I don't feel them as intensely anymore. That doesn't mean I was a moody person. Not at all. You will understand yourself the more you analyze yourself. I learned much more about myself than I knew last year. I spent all my time alone, observing myself and others. Observing others helps you to understand yourself, believe it or not. Judge in what way? To understand yourself, you first have to think "I understand myself." The more you think something, the more you realize it's true.

Moved? I don't often find people who are into the things I am, so don't stress over it. I've never met someone who likes certain interests of mine. Yes, here in America it is rather popular. Where is it you are from? It's good you acknowledge they don't actually like it and are doing that for your sake. People don't make references to the things I like, haha. Unless they are teasing me. They do that often on Discord, mentioning Yaoi and fish in the same sentence, because I like fish porn.
I'm not a big fan of TV. Mainstream things in general, I suppose. But I don't go out of my way to have abnormal interests, it just happens. Stranger Things is more suitable to watch near Halloween, which is why I stopped. I don't like fantasy, so I'll never watch Game of Thrones. I, however, love The Walking Dead, especially Rick. Teaching success? I believe success comes from within. My favorite novels are ones related to survival and psychology.
My writing is very symbolic and metaphorical. Which can confuse others, if they aren't analyzing it or paying attention to the small details. I only write about things I can relate to in some way, hence why my latest story is about a pedophile. Words are my favorite thing to study. I love to learn words. A self reflection every day, you must be devoted to it! I have a rant thread in which I talk about things that are going on in my mind and life. I prefer story writing to writing random things. I'm a very orderly and rigid person, not a spontaneous one. I spend most of my time analyzing myself and my thoughts. I am great at psychology, I have been studying it since the beginning of this year, and a bit before this year, too. I'm very invested in it. I can teach you about it. First one should study cognitive psychology, then go from there. Cognitive psychology is the basis of understanding others, in my opinion.
YaoiMaster Nov 24, 2017 4:01 PM
I see. I don't change the letters of something to make it cute. I've heard many people use the word confuzzled before, so it isn't just you, at least. I am too serious of a person to intentionally make something cute.

It depends what kind of trauma. Not to mention everyone has different ways of reaction to stimulation and troubles. We each create our own unique defense mechanisms against whatever happens to be bothering us. Experience doesn't necessarily equate to intelligence. I know some experienced but unintelligible people. It does matter what you do with it. Experiences can be applied or go to waste, and in the end, it's all your choice. It's good to be willing to learn. Too many people these days dislike it. I don't question many things I do because I do the same things. Curiosity is a good weapon, you know.

That French cartoon was popular among people I knew last year. They raved about it. Making an effort to improve oneself is admirable. What videos do you edit? What kind of books are you drawn to? I enjoy going anywhere alone. Solitude is a fine friend. Writing and psychology are the only things I'm good at, really.
YaoiMaster Nov 24, 2017 3:06 PM
Pardon, did you say onesie?
Indeed there is much to explore. But I do not believe age has to do with experience, you see. For a person whose childhood is full of trauma may experience much more than one whose was void of it. At least, that is as simple as I can make it.
What is it you do in your spare time? Aside from anime, of course.
YaoiMaster Nov 24, 2017 1:25 PM
What is it you're wondering about?