- Last OnlineJan 28, 9:03 PM
- JoinedNov 9, 2017
RSS Feeds
|
![]()
Apr 6, 2019
Have you ever thought about a premise in which an underground organization takes in orphaned girls and technologically modifies them to serve morally ambiguous purposes? Well, I often have, alone in my bed, but not exactly in the same way Gunslinger Girl establishes its story and characters.
This anime is one of the most grim and unapologetic I’ve ever seen. From the very beginning, we’re introduced to this concept of little brainwashed girls used as specialized weapons to take out important targets. You’d think that a show like this would be just your typical paper-thin “badass kid kills bad guys” type of deal, but it
...
touches on somber themes that I never expected to see, such as turbulent friendship, innocence of youth, and parental love. The drama isn’t in the action or the gangster wars, it’s in the way our protagonists develop as characters in what seems like an inhumane world. The little sparks of joy and light are that much more poignant when the surrounding emotions are depressing and dour.
There is a big complaint I have with the world-building, though. Sometimes there are moments that take me out of the show, like little details that don’t seem to fit in Gunslinger Girl’s representation of life. For example, when one of the older girls goes on a mission while on her period, they mention that she chose to keep that part of her body intact, despite it obviously hindering her effectiveness. Why would the organization give the girls a choice about their reproductive system when there’s obviously an ulterior motive behind recruiting anonymous little girls and training them to be obedient? Maybe it’s to give the girls a false sense of humanity, or maybe it’s just to determine which girls will be the best slaves in the future. They have this opportunity, supported by the government, to be extremely intimate with these little girls, and I’m supposed to believe that they’d let it pass by giving them a choice about their perfectly constructed bodies? It might sound like a nitpick, but that’s just one example of when I had to sit back and question what the show is really about. It’s obvious that they had a specific audience in mind with this premise, which I personally appreciate, but they need to at least keep it consistent.
8/10 for being both heart-breaking and heartwarming at the same time, but overall 7/10 for blue-balling me to no end.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
What did you think of this review?
Nice
 0
Love it
 0
Funny
 0
Confusing
 0
Well-written
 0
Creative
 0Show all
![]()
Jan 30, 2019
Gin no Saji is a charming slice of life comedy that revolves around [generic protagonist] as he tires of the city life and enrolls at a farming school. There he meets wise farming teachers and friendly farming students who show him the ropes of farming. He discovers the nuance and talent which lie underneath the surface of farming and becomes determined to be the very best at farming, or at least impress [generic love interest farmgirl]. Prepare for gags and giggles in this hilarious farming anime from A-1 Pictures!
Okay, now that the moderators aren’t looking, I’m going to make my actual review. You guys won’t
...
believe this, but I’ve delved beneath the surface of Gin no Saji and discovered that this anime is actually farming shounen disguised as a slice of life comedy. Think about it: clueless boy finds farm school, stumbles upon a farming world he never knew about, haplessly tries to blend in by farming, slowly learns what it takes to be a farmer, develops a bond with farming students, finds an affinity for farming in himself, earns the respect of his farming teachers, impresses his farmer crush, and eventually becomes the very best that no one ever was. Do you see what I’m saying here? Everything falls into place if you just look at it from a different perspective. Once you realize the truth, Gin no Saji is just Harry Potter with horseback riding instead of flying brooms! With that in mind, I have to give this one the credit it deserves for taking two overused anime premises and smushing them together into something fresh. Farm fresh, you could say.
6/10 for a farm-tacular farm-venture that I’ll never farmget. 7/10 for teaching me about all the hard work and passion farmers put in to raise a cow of high enough quality to be served in a McRib.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
![]()
Nov 6, 2018
Ghost in the Shell brings into question what really makes a human. Is it the soul? Is it the body? Is it love? The struggle to find an answer to this existential mystery is the focus of Major Motoko Kusanagi, a fully prosthetic cyborg. Her inner-conflict interspersed between action sequences and more slow, deliberate moments creates an experience like no other.
Although Ghost in the Shell as a whole is refreshing and moving, there are aspects of it that seem to need more context. For example, the ambiguity of Kusanagi’s humanity is alleviated almost fully near the beginning when she is shown jumping off a
...
building completely nude. They give us full view of her body and nipples (uncensored!) out of nowhere. After we see this, there is no longer a question of whether she is human or not, since she obviously possesses the very attractive curvature of a real woman. At this point, it doesn’t matter if she’s just rubber and wires because I’m already looking up rule34 of her and busting a fat one as if she’s just another big tiddy anime girl. This and other instances of in-your-face fanservice lead me to believe that we’re not getting the whole outline of Kusanagi’s character. Is she there just as eye candy? Did we skip past the slow buildup of ecchi to the point where we she’s just naked all the time? To add to this, there seems to be a lot of sexual tension between Kusanagi and her hunk of a partner. Anything that happened between them is left up to imagination, and trust me, my imagination is getting pretty wild.
Despite the “fill in the blank” type of storytelling in Ghost in the Shell, the movie holds its own and manages to build an interesting world while obviously pandering to horny neckbeards who fantasize about owning a submissive sex robot from the future. Although I am not one of those neckbeards, I appreciate the gratuitous tiddies and enjoyed watching this film with my parents.
8/10 for entrancing shot direction and animation, but overall 7/10 for no beach scene.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
![]()
Sep 22, 2018
Tales from Earthsea, or Gedo Senki, is a very interesting piece. Although it comes from the acclaimed Studio Ghibli, the film doesn’t follow the usual conventional story beats found in Hayao Miyazaki’s works. It’s very linear and serious in pacing and theme. I won’t get into the details of those aspects for two reasons:
1. I don’t want to spoil the story.
2. I honestly don’t remember anything that happened in the movie.
Hear me out for second. I usually have excellent recollection of films and television because I enjoy analyzing as much as I can while watching, even if it’s bad. All of my
...
mental notes about specific parts of media are stored in my head like a library, so I never have trouble comparing the opinions I have of things I’d seen years apart. This particular instance is an exception. I watched Tales from Earthsea just last year and I’ve completely forgotten the details of both the characters and plot line. It’s like my memory was wiped as soon as the credits faded out. All that remains in the library is a vague silhouette of a decent movie and a hazy sense of fantasy.
My theory for this mysterious amnesia is that, while viewing in my typical critical mindset, I got lost in the atmosphere of Tales from Earthsea and basically blocked everything else out. The music and art must have lulled me into a less absorbant state in which I couldn’t process the story or character development. I remember a boy, a girl, and some kind of evil witch. Someone’s dad dies for no reason and a couple of kids get sold to slavery. That’s about everything I know. My clearest memory from the movie is a beautiful melody over a medieval city at sunset, but even that has no context. Despite how bland everything else seemed to taste, I found myself indulging in the simple pleasures of quality animation and musical score. The reviews and general reception to it aren’t very positive compared to others from the same studio, but whatever happened in Tales from Earthsea pleasantly surprised me and left me with happy sentiments. It’s definitely in the bottom tiers of Ghibli’s filmography, but it’s a solid movie by itself. At least, that’s what I would think if I remembered anything.
7/10 for how much I enjoyed myself, but overall 6/10 for how much integrity as a critic I lost.
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
![]()
Sep 3, 2018
Ponyo is a Ghibli movie that touches my heart in its deepest, watery depths. The pure wholesomeness and magical atmosphere of Miyazaki’s imagination manifest themselves in a film about the cute friendship between a boy and a fish. That’s pretty much all there is to the story, but that incredibly simple aspect is only the tip of the iceberg. Underneath the convoluted and nonlinear surface, Ponyo explores the nuances of emotion that exist in us all, whether we notice them or not. Our powerful desire to protect what we love and our elementary sense of wonder are represented by the two young protagonists, respectively: Sousuke,
...
who finds a washed up fish and cares for it; and Ponyo, who leaves the safety of her home in order to discover what lies outside. These two motivations are naive and potentially dangerous but also fundamental to our ultimate happiness. This is the bittersweet taste of human nature personified in a gorgeously animated movie. Despite worldbuilding and drama taking the backstage in favor of peaceful establishment and character development, Ponyo never misses a beat. It lulls you into a state of mind somewhere between enchantment and suspense, a bit like Spirited Away. It’s the type of quality that makes you nostalgic the first time you watch it.
With all of this gushing, I’ve probably led you to believe that Ponyo is a flawless movie. Although it nearly is in my eyes, there is one particular flaw that prevents a perfect score. My next point is less of an opinion and more of an observation of facts, which you’ll understand in a second. So I’ve already compared Ponyo to Spirited Away in terms of the childlike wonder I associate each film with. That is only a loose analogy to serve as support for my opinion rather than a legitimate comparison. There is, in fact, another animated movie that is objectively similar to Ponyo in many more obvious ways. Disney’s classic, The Little Mermaid, shares many story beats and character traits with Miyazaki’s film. Girl seeks the surface world, father forbids it, girl rebels and washes up on shore, boy finds her and attempts to teach her about life, etc. It branches out differently from there in both movies but they end the same way. The father concedes and lets the girl stay after she becomes fully human and they all live happily ever after. Anyone with a goldfish brain can notice the similarities between The Little Mermaid and Ponyo, but the context around the two movies leads me to believe that it wasn’t just coincidence. Disney has worked with Ghibli as a distributor to the west for a while now so they aren’t rival studios. They also admit to inspiring each other with their work from both sides of the world. So why did Disney release The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning on August 25th of 2008, barely a month after Ponyo’s release in Japan? Despite not being openly competitive with Ghibli, Disney made a bold power move by producing a sequel to their beloved franchise just as Ponyo hit theaters. They must have heard how Ghibli basically photocopied the original Little Mermaid for Ponyo and felt threatened by the obvious taunt. Disney wanted to keep their finger in that pie before it was too late so they hurriedly produced a straight-to-dvd movie about a year before they helped distribute Ponyo to American audiences with their own English dub. This example of silent corporate war is a bad mark on both companies from me, but the lack of originality on Ghibli’s end is especially disrespectful to Disney and the source material. This is the reason why I can’t give Ponyo the credit it deserves, despite fully enjoying it before finding out about the background.
Rated 10/10 for unconventional yet effective storytelling, but overall 9/10 for forcing Disney to make that god-awful Little Mermaid sequel.
Reviewer’s Rating: 9
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
![]()
Aug 20, 2018
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood is the sequel to the critically acclaimed Fullmetal Alchemist series from 2003. It begins right where the original show left off which, as you might remember, was at a notorious cliffhanger. They waste no time continuing the story in Brotherhood and providing the conclusion that the fans had all been waiting for. Despite this, I don’t think it’s necessary to watch the two shows in chronological order. I’ve never seen the original and I was only confused for the first 20 episodes.
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (or FMA:B, as the intellectuals call it) stands as one of the most under-appreciated anime series of all
...
time. From its heart-breaking character development to its suspenseful story, this adventure shounen will keep you hooked for hours. I had seen FMA:B on an obscure list a few months ago and decided to check out it just for kicks, not expecting anything from a random Bones anime. When I finally got around to watching it, I was pleasantly surprised by how consistent the pacing was and how the animation gorgeously captured the science of alchemy. I was fully immersed in the world-building and dramatic twists. I binged through the whole thing in only a couple of days and couldn’t believe when it was over. After reaching the satisfying end, I felt the urge to let everyone know of this underrated gem. FMA:B might build on what FMA started, but I think even as a direct sequel it holds its own. It’s accessible for all demographics—western or eastern, adult or child—and makes up for its lack of nudity with wholesome platonic relationships. Dark themes mix with light humor in a perfect solution of classic anime enjoyment.
9/10 show for sure, but I bumped it down to 8/10 because the little Chinese girl with the panda thing was so freaking annoying. I swear to Father, I will crush her tiny adorable face with my fist and laugh as her unbearably high-pitched voice is silenced forever. I wish I could go back in time and make sure she was never written in this show.
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
![]()
Aug 17, 2018
Fate/Zero introduces a magical battle royale set in an alternate version of our modern world. The Goblet of Fire chooses seven contenders to fight and scheme until only one is left standing. All of the players of this game have a wish that only the Goblet of Fire can grant. With the help of familiars—spirits of warriors from ancient times—, the contestants employ their magic and their alliances to reach the ultimate goal. I wanted to summarize up until this point and provide some background because my main criticism is about one of the familiars. The woman called “Saber” is a warrior from medieval times
...
who wields the legendary sword Excalibur. A bit of time after she is summoned, she reveals her true name to be Arthur Pendragon. Yes, she is supposed to be King Arthur’s spirit. Although it’s a spoiler, I can’t ignore this obscenity for my review. Nitpicking historically inaccurate details isn’t one of my hobbies, but since this issue is so prevalent in Fate/Zero, I won’t hold back. Seriously, what the frick were they thinking? King Arthur is not a GIRL, okay? It says “king” in the name, idiots. Oh sure, a woman was the only one strong enough to pull a sword out of a rock. That has to be the stupidest version of the story I’ve ever heard. Forget about feminist propaganda, that is a straight up attack against men and an insult to the legacy of King Arthur. Instead of honoring his name and creating a strong male character for his spirit, why don’t we just draw up a cute girl with a sword that is too heavy for her tiny feminine arms? I understand that anime panders heavily to whichever demographic is most profitable, but the quality of the show doesn’t have to suffer from it. How can I enjoy the amazing fight scenes in Fate-Zero if half of them include a character that shouldn’t even exist? The answer: I can’t because it’s too distracting. For this reason alone I will not be watching season 2, because something tells me that our pure maiden Arthur Pendragon will make it to the end.
2/10 for undermining the glorious masculinity of historical figures, but overall 7/10 for allowing me to jerk off to my favorite knight of the round table.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
![]()
Aug 12, 2018
Eve no Jikan tells the heartwarming story of segregation in a futuristic society and how a boy named Rikuo experiences both sides of the issue. It is reflective of our modern world as well as cultures from centuries before. I believe this short series would be one of my favorites if I wasn’t so perturbed by a detail that was never resolved. I can only describe it as a significant plot hole left behind by careless writing, and it distracted me for the entirety of my viewing. I will spoil a little of this anime, but let me explain; Rikuo’s connection to the android world
...
is through his maid robot, whom he assumed had no sentience. Once he learned of her escapades, they develop a special understanding of each other. This bond combined with Rikuo’s obvious attraction to her should indicate a romantic undertone, right? Actually, their relationship never sprouts out of the ground. I know for a fact that the maid robot has sex functionality since she pretty much mirrors a female in every way. It wouldn’t be a realistic future if you couldn’t bang your life-like Roombas. So why didn’t they go the obvious route and contrive a taboo romance between Rikuo and the android? Although this complaint seems like a nitpick, it is exceedingly frustrating to watch such a low-hanging fruit never be harvested. It is apparent that the writers intended Eve no Jukan to be a love story, so I’m not sure why they scrapped it at the last second. Regardless, this is an enjoyable watch. The protagonist and his robot slave may not have hot metallic sex, but they stand alone as solid characters. They live in a city where robots, although possessing many human traits, are treated as objects and abused (though not sexually for some reason). It is fascinating to see the different perspectives in their society and how Rikuo learns to accept the right thing.
Would have rated it 8/10 if they kissed and 9/10 if they smashed, but Rikuo and his virgin sexbot get a 7/10. This ONA made me think deeply about its qualities and I hope I could provide an in-depth review to express that much.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
![]()
Aug 11, 2018
This movie concludes the Evangelion reboot trilogy (for now) with a lazy continuation of the abrupt cliffhanger from 2.0. This is such a terrible sequel that I recommend you skip it entirely and spare yourselves the crushing disappointment. I can tolerate the disjointed timelines and hastily written screenplay, but how am I supposed to be satisfied by the trilogy if Shinji never gets to smash? There are three girls who are totally into him: one who lives with him, one who let him grope her in 1.0, and one who came onto him with D-cup jugs. I don’t care if Evangelion 3.0 completely disregards every
...
development in the previous two films and lets all questions go unanswered in the end, but they crossed the line by messing with my perfect harem. Not only did Shinji never get any schoolgirl ass, but he also ran away with some sexy silver-haired boy who treated him tenderly and taught him how to play the piano. It’s like Hideaki Anno is deliberately teasing me with this blatantly gay twist. I don’t want a loving boyfriend who wipes Shinji’s tears and shows him true happiness, I want a tsundere girlfriend who calls him stupid and never thanks him for saving her life. Kaworu might be adorable and perfect, but I cannot forgive his intrusion of my harem. The worst kind of torture is having a sliver a hope and watching it get crushed in front of your eyes. That’s what it was like to watch Evangelion 3.0.
Rated 4/10 for insulting me with this careless, indifferent movie. Overall 6/10 for awakening my repressed homosexuality.
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
![]()
Aug 11, 2018
This movie marks the transition between the Neon Genesis Evangelion story we know and the alternate story from the trilogy. It takes what the first film established and develops the characters separate from the series, taking new routes and setting up a completely different conclusion. One of the most significant changes in Evangelion 2.0 compared to the series is the pilots’ visit to the aquarium. It’s an important moment since it represents the quiet amidst all of the chaos. The young protagonists are in awe of the vast body of water and the fish which reside in it, despite experiencing otherworldly encounters regularly. That goes
...
to show how much the world had changed since our peaceful era. But is an aquarium cool enough to warrant the amount of time we spend watching them ogle? Shinji controls a giant robot from inside and uses over-sized bazookas to annihilate alien monsters, and a couple of tiny fish impress him? I don’t think he has his priorities straight here. He has too sexy girls in skin-tight plugsuits fighting for his affection and all he wants is a thumbs up from his deadbeat dad? I’m not saying that Shinji should molest Asuka in her sleep or anything but just make a move before the world explodes into angel blood, dude. Another girl joins the harem and basically begs for Shinji to plug his UCC canned coffee into her cockpit, but he is too depressed and socially inept to respond. Time is running out to act on those hormonal instincts and there is only one movie left. This better work out like in the doujins or I’ll be very disappointed.
Rated 6/10 for blue-balling me but overall 8/10 for a refreshing revisal of the confusing twists and weird pacing from the series. Although some of my favorite sequences and developments weren’t included, it’s a much cleaner version of the story.
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
|
