May 11, 2013
I. Introduction
Strike witches is a show that is very appealing to the general /a/ masses because it contains all the "best" parts of shitty animu. But before we get into that, let's talk about the characters themselves. The show dumps a metric fuck ton of characters on your lap that are just a name and a face that you're expected to recognize and love immediately. Even after watching the most part of season 1, I can't even name a single character without watching an episode over again. Each character has bland personalities that too easily fit how they look. The one with an eye patch
...
is strong and wise, the young ones are stupid and bubbly, and the oldest and most endowed one always pokes fun at the younger ones. Enough of my banter, let's dive in.
II. The "Best" Bits
As I said before, the show contains all the best parts of shitty anime. First to the characters appearance. This is what would attract people to the show, and possibly keep them watching this shit. There's the entire spectrum of builds and body types for all newfags to fap over : Lolis, huge tits, and ass as far as the eye can see. During the coarse of each episode, there's more tits and shots of girls asses than a maxim magazine and they don't wear pants. But oh no, that's not all. They're also all Cat-girl Witches! I'm being entirely fucking serious. When they don their magical flying legs, they pop out a pair of cat ears and a tail and power the legs with magic. Besides the characters, the show also panders /k/ and other military / WWII buffs. The guns they use while flying (so cat-girl-witch-soldiers?) are all guns that any CoD zombies player could drool over.
III. Episode Structure
Believe it or not, there is some structure to each episode. I never said it was good, but there is an obvious flow in each of the episodes. They generally start off with a waking up or morning scene. The girls all do remedial shit like brush their teeth, eat and clean. Fun. There are occasionally some "plot development" scenes and flashbacks, but nothing to really make this more than a weak, drawn out hentai made for daytime television. Then it gets to the good stuff : girls playing with each others tits. Whether they're on the beach, doing chores, or training, they play with each others sugoi tits till the cows come home. There are also frequent bathing / sauna scenes with pointless full frontal nudity and the girls talking about how one of the others is so hawt. It's not like they have shower scenes in one episode to pander the fans like some other, more respectable shows. It's almost every goddamn episode they have the girls fully bearing themselves. The circle jerk comes to a subtle end when the cookie-cutter enemies show up. The enemies in question are the worst fucking enemies ever. They can only be described as "black and red honeycombed shapes". They all shoot red lasers of undefined power and have armor that is too strong for their guns, rendering them basically useless. One of them is even just a Rubik's Cube that splits into all the individual squares. Fucking original amiright? It's not until one of the characters uses some Deus Ex Macnina to kill them that they can finally destroy the damn things. Why are these enemies attacking? Well let me tell you : No reason whatsoever. They just attack something for no obviously foreseeable goal besides firing lasers around.
IV. Conclusion
This entire show has doomed itself to Inuyasha Syndrome. No matter what happens in each episode, nothing happens. No overlying story arcs to speak of here. I'd say that it's a slice of life anime, but the issue is, it's not. It's just hentai modified for the general viewing public. It gets into your pants before even touching your heartstrings, even in the most sad or happy scenes. If you ever thought of watching this show, just watch some hentai and Azumanga Dioh instead.
Reviewer’s Rating: 10
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all
