Sep 6, 2023
GET THE MALE LEAD THERAPY, PLEASE. Also, this review is NOT spoiler-free in the slightest, so beware of spoilers before reading any further.
This is the story of a normal Korean office lady who gets transported into another world. Typically, this is where the fluffy romance starts, but instead the heroine is immediately trapped into slavery. With a language barrier, because unlike most isekai, her getting teleported into another world did not conveniently come with a magical translation app installed in her head. Also, she's not the only person to have been transported to this world, nor is she the first--and it's soon established as
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to why the locals don't really take kindly to these otherworldly refugees. Unfortunately for the FL, being a victim of otherworldly transportation makes you really, really vulnerable to turning into a monster--which means, in the eyes of the locals, the FL and all other foreigners are ticking time bombs. To make it worse for the FL, she has the misfortune of being very pretty in a world where she has no human rights whatsoever. It doesn't really get better from there. I will confirm that there is at least no actual rape, though by the gods it gets close.
The ML is a holy knight from a prestigious lineage who is widely admired and respected by all--except he's on the run after killing the pope. The pope was, in fact, a bad guy, but the circumstances didn't allow the ML to explain this before he was caught with blood on his hands, and so he's on the run for his life. The ML is also, despite all the surface glitters of his life and status, pretty horribly traumatized by the way his entire life has always been written out for him. He's essentially the pretty doll that everyone else maneuvers for their plans, and it's very much been getting to him. Being on the run is where the cracks really start to show, as he's finally been removed from all the strict rules and chains that have bound him for his entire life, and it's soon after this that he encounters the FL. It's very much love at first sight for him--and very much not so much for her.
I will reiterate--the FL DOES NOT understand the language of this world. And for the majority of the story she will continue not to understand--it's only towards the end that she finally starts getting a grasp on the language. This means that she and ML have continuous misunderstandings from the start. This is not helped by the fact that ML is obsessed with her, in very unhealthy ways, and while he is her protector in this strange world that is very much against her, he is also tortured by his mental demons. As a paladin, he's supposed to remain chaste--but he's tormented by lust for her. So he's at times aggressively angry at her "tempting" him--which the FL, who cannot understand a word he says, is very confused by. At the same time, he's very possessive and protective of her, so he refuses to allow her to leave him. The FL is overall very confused as to what his whole deal is, but she knows that he's her best bet at survival, so she sticks with him. The ML is obsessive from the start, but gets continuously worse throughout the story. By the end, he's essentially giving up caring about anything but her.
The other characters in this story are mostly other holy knights--some of which are nice, some of which are not so nice. The friends of the ML are trying to help him and prove that he's innocent, but are unaware of how deeply disturbed the ML was under his golden façade and initially blame his mental instability on the FL. Over time, they begin to realize that this was how he always was, deep down, but unfortunately for them the ML doesn't want therapy, he doesn't want to get better, he just wants the FL. She's the holy grail in his mind, and he cares about nothing but being with her.
Sadly for him, the FL doesn't reciprocate. In fact, in many ways I don't really consider this story to be a romance between the two of them--he's absolutely obsessed with her, but she's at first creeped out by him, and later on comes to pity him (once she finally overcomes the language barrier and starts realizing how messed up his thought processes are). Even at the end of the story, she never truly returns his feelings, she just understands that he can't let her go. She becomes more sympathetic once she learns of his backstory, but it isn't truly love and she never really considers him romantically.
There's a plot in the background with the corruption in the church and all that, but honestly that kind of takes a backseat to the ML's truly terrible mental health and his refusal to get better. The ML, after having spent his entire life with people deciding for him, decides that he'd prefer to be the obsessive, childish asshole he is on the inside then continuing to be "perfect." He hates the church, hates his friends, hates pretty much everybody except the FL. At the very end of the story, they figure out a way for the FL to return to her original world, and he decides to go with her, because he doesn't want to stay in the world he hates so much any more. Does this make things better for him? Who knows. Personally, my firm belief is that the FL brought him to modern day Korea and immediately made an appointment for him with the nearest therapist, because GODS he needs it. Maybe they one day actually do form a romantic relationship. Maybe the ML gets over his obsession and they become friends instead. As the story ends with them going through the portal, only the author can say.
Did I like this? No. I was terribly fed up with the ML within 20 chapters, because he essentially clings to the FL all the time while continuously spiraling downwards after he's been bereft of all the strings controlling his life for so long. Even after reuniting with friends who genuinely care for him and want to help him overcome his trauma, he still doesn't want to get better. His friends offer him several options that might help him get his life back on track and he refuses, in part because he actually hates paladin life (which, fair) but also because they keep trying to separate him from the FL and he will not do it, even when it would be better for him to do so. Unfortunately, after being exploited for most of his life, his inner manchild comes out and he goes into the teenage emo phase of "no one can understand me except HER" but honestly, the FL doesn't really understand him either. I spent most the story wanting to smack him. Like, dude, your life sucked , but actively refusing all attempts to help you get better isn't great either.
The FL is not actually that bad, but spends most the story being very passive because she simply cannot understand what's going on around her. Which is understandable. Once she finally starts getting some of the language down, she becomes much more active in decision making because she can actually understand what's going on. Her view on the ML goes from "creepy guy who's protecting me and isn't as bad as most people" to "poor kid needs help and some affection" She's not really viewing him in a romantic life for most of the story, and even in the end he's more someone she thinks is in need of help. She's much more mentally mature than the ML and it shows. The ML's friends are also great--while at first they come across as antagonistic, once they start to really understand the situation and that the ML wasn't wrong to kill the pope for his crimes, they really start to actively help the ML and FL out. In fact, the friends are the ones to actually teach the FL the language and help her get her bearings and figure out her options. The ML doesn't, in part because he actually kind of likes how reliant she is on him for most of the story (once again, somebody smack him).
TL;dr, if you like ML's that are essentially adults on the outside and traumatized 12 year-olds on the inside, with FL's who act as unpaid therapists for the ML rather than a real love interest, this is the story for you. Why did I read this to the end? Honestly, I'm not sure--I think it was the power of "desperately hoping the ML gets therapy and that somebody smacks him" that powered me through.
Reviewer’s Rating: 3
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