Shinai naru Boku e Satsui wo Komete
My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought
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Shinai naru Boku e Satsui wo Komete

Alternative Titles

Japanese: 親愛なる僕へ殺意をこめて
English: My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought
More titles


Type: Manga
Volumes: 11
Chapters: 98
Status: Finished
Published: May 7, 2018 to Sep 7, 2020
Genres: Drama Drama, Mystery Mystery, Suspense Suspense
Theme: Psychological Psychological
Demographic: Seinen Seinen
Serialization: Comic Days
Authors: Inoryuu, Hajime (Story), Itou, Shouta (Art)


Score: 8.201 (scored by 1373113,731 users)
1 indicates a weighted score.
Ranked: #4672
2 based on the top manga page. Please note that 'R18+' titles are excluded.
Popularity: #421
Members: 40,706
Favorites: 1,062

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Ranked #467Popularity #421Members 40,706
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Volumes: /11
Chapters: /98


Eiji Urashima is just an ordinary university student like everyone else. His college career consists of boozing with his friends and trying to get a girlfriend. On October 23rd, he returns home after a pleasant night of drinking and goes to bed. To his surprise, when Eiji wakes up, a gorgeous girl from his university, Kyouka Yukimura, is lying beside him—claiming to be his girlfriend.

Having no recollection of the event, Eiji goes along with the flow until he is faced with more nonsensical events that took place in the last few days. Walking alongside his friend, Kashiwagi, he cannot help but ask the most intuitive question on his mind: is today not the 24th? "Eiji, what are you saying? Today's the 27th."

Three days have passed, yet Eiji cannot recall a thing. The situation takes a dire turn when a magazine writer exposes Eiji's deepest secret in front of Kyouka: he is the son of a serial killer. As his life is thrown into a spiral of disarray, he embarks on a journey to resolve the mess of the last three days and get Kyouka to accept his past.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]


Shinai naru Boku e Satsui wo Komete was published digitally in English as My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought by Kodansha Comics USA from February 2, 2021, to December 7, 2021. It was also published in Spanish as The Killer Inside by Panini Comics from October 28, 2021, to June 22, 2023; and in Polish as Morderca w Mojej Głowie by Studio JG from February 2, 2021, to December 7, 2021.



Dec 26, 2021
As someone working in the psychology field, it always fascinates me how writers portray persons with mental disorders. I have always been a fan of the mystery and suspense genre, what I like is especially how they write characters with mental disorders. But like I always tell my students, mental disorders portrayed in fiction are not always a general representation of that disorder. This manga tells a story of the protagonist with Dissociative Identity Disorder, one of the rarest mental disorders in America and yet it's the most trivialized and more fictional books have been written with this disorder than any of the common ones. ...
Dec 11, 2022
Mixed Feelings
I really like these psychotic thrillers about crazy people, yet this one is somewhat disappointing. Not because it is bad per se. The art is quite good, the writing is fine, the characters are layered, and the story itself is quite consistent, yet the whole manga felt like a homework. If you didn't read thrillers with split personalities you may find it interesting, but this one follows the standard script step by step. At some point in the middle of the 34th chapter it made me belive for a short time, that it may be different, but it was a short-term hope since at the ...
Nov 27, 2022

Repost/Edit to help explain more.
I was enjoying the manga until it's revealed the main character "gave" himself DID (Dissociative identity disorder, formally known as Multiple personality disorder). To me it felt massively like a cop out with little to no setup as to how he actually "gave" himself DID. He simply decides to form it as a tool to get revenge, the story goes into little to no detail as to how he even did this. It feels as if DID was slapped onto the story as an afterthought. I enjoyed the built up/mystery the series had for a lot of its chapters but felt ...

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