Do you want to have children?
razor39999 said: I'd like to have kids eventually, but I doubt I will. The whole marriage and kids setup is a bit too much for me. Most of my family members on my mother's side started families in their mid to late thirties or early forties, so who knows maybe I'll end up like that too. yeah it is...but it's too boring not to get involved! ;) |
razor39999 said: I'd like to have kids eventually, but I doubt I will. The whole marriage and kids setup is a bit too much for me. Most of my family members on my mother's side started families in their mid to late thirties or early forties, so who knows maybe I'll end up like that too. My parents got married in their early 30s only as well. And they're both from the early 50s. They wanted to conclude their studies first before getting married most likely. |
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ISKIJN said: I believe having kids is one way to make your life meaningful. I mean, if part of your DNA and your teachings stay on Earth after you die, you can objectively say your life had a meaning, no matter what you believe in, because had you not existed, your your descendants would not have either. That's why I want kids xD Deep. Perhaps some people like to become teachers rather than starting their own families. Their teachings will stay on Earth after they pass away. |
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| Iskijn, same here. Those are in a way the theories of the old atomists. I have. to pass on all my greatness to my child, make it even better than I am (wich is almost impossible). I want to make sure, that at least one decent human being is there on earth, before I go ^^ |
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| Oh course people don't really want kids these days. HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS OUT THERE? They're becoming cocky and out right obnoxious these days. I will not allow my kids be like those. *Radiates power* |
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ZTHero said: Oh course people don't really want kids these days. HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS OUT THERE? They're becoming cocky and out right obnoxious these days. I will not allow my kids be like those. *Radiates power* MY KID is not cocky or obnoxious. Taking that aside, I agree fully with ISKIJN and Emile and also with razor for saying it's kinda of selfish. I believe it actually is very selfish. No child asks to be born, yet they are. And then they must live and take on life's shit all over their faces. I actually have asked for forgiveness countless times in my head for what i know my kid will have to go through. I hope he will enjoy living nonetheless. I will do everything in my power to help him have a good life. Forgive me for the long speech, but a mother is always thinking about these kinds of things. |
| I couldn't care less about the "passing my family name" thing. Not that I like or care much about my last name, anyway. So generic and uninteresting. As for "a part of DNA living", I don't care either. As for being accomplished, etc. I don't need a kid for that. Never liked or cared about kids much and never had to deal with any. I've always been the youngest in my family, and none of my other relatives had kids of my age or younger when I was a kid. My older brother is in his 30s and doesn't have kids or a long term gf either. Also, kids are expensive and I want to spend my money freely on action figures and vidya games for the rest of my life. And speaking of money, it's kinda funny how poor people are the ones breeding like rabbits. I mean come on now, if you're poor enough already alone why the hell are you gonna have a multitude of kids you can't most likely feed? |
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razor39999 said: ISKIJN said: I do not think it's selfish. I mean, every animal on the planet is trying to reproduce, so that their own genes are preserved. It's a basic instinct in all species. It's natural. In fact, not wanting kids is something that became popular only in the last couple of decades xD Yeah I didn't say selfish in a negative connotation, I meant it in a purely evolutionary way. Sorry for the misunderstanding. EDIT: As a little sidenote, I recently bumped into an old colleague from primary school. She was a few years older than me and got married and had a kid at the end of high school and another one some years later. I've never bumped into men complaining about "biological clocks" but it really did piss me off a bit how much time I've wasted on shit like playing computer games, being dishonest with my feelings, and just generally derping around. Plus, her looking and seeming happy about her life even though she was "burdened" with two kids relatively early on kinda kicked it in. So yeah male "biological clock" situation right there. If you've never witnessed it before now you have. Not to mention she still looks absolutely freaking gorgeous after all these years. Fuck you genetics! hum...from my experince it's absolutely normal for guys to want to have kids at some point! and kids are not exactly a burden, more like a big big cute responsability ^^ |
miyazawa_rin said: ZTHero said: Oh course people don't really want kids these days. HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS OUT THERE? They're becoming cocky and out right obnoxious these days. I will not allow my kids be like those. *Radiates power* MY KID is not cocky or obnoxious. Taking that aside, I agree fully with ISKIJN and Emile and also with razor for saying it's kinda of selfish. I believe it actually is very selfish. No child asks to be born, yet they are. And then they must live and take on life's shit all over their faces. I actually have asked for forgiveness countless times in my head for what i know my kid will have to go through. I hope he will enjoy living nonetheless. I will do everything in my power to help him have a good life. Forgive me for the long speech, but a mother is always thinking about these kinds of things. Sorry. Didn't mean all kids. I'm sure your kid is amazing. Gomennasai Though there are some parents that don't care at all about their kids even though they had them. And that is the one thing that pisses me off greatly. Last summer, I volunteered at a local summer school (not for failing regular school) as a student teacher with this one kid that had no manners whatsoever and obnoxious. His way of saying "can I have please" is "YO GIVE ME THAT". Summarizing the season, that kid was a bully to no bonds. I sent him to the principal's and director's office multiple times, didn't listen to any directions, etc. I myself tried to contact the parents after school and before. I even went up to the parents who were waiting downstairs in their car. They just ignored me as soon as a mentioned their kid. Like freaken really? I felt I would really punch through the windshield and yank him out of the car. All and all... Last day of school the kid destroyed the room. Don't ask me how because I'll rant on it for hours. Thankfully no kids were in the room since it was an hour past end of school and all the kids left and I just got back from buying some snacks. 2 hours past end of school, parents finally came for their son (probably just remembered). As usually, daddy didn't want to go in (he might miss dinner, oh my. Dinner>son). In the end, teacher just said to let him go (I might have looked like I would destroy the dad). I'm cute and fluffy. But don't poke the bear or I will maul and eat you. Respect each other and we'll have the best time. *Thumbs up, teeth shine* |
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ZTHero said: miyazawa_rin said: MY KID is not cocky or obnoxious. Taking that aside, I agree fully with ISKIJN and Emile and also with razor for saying it's kinda of selfish. I believe it actually is very selfish. No child asks to be born, yet they are. And then they must live and take on life's shit all over their faces. I actually have asked for forgiveness countless times in my head for what i know my kid will have to go through. I hope he will enjoy living nonetheless. I will do everything in my power to help him have a good life. Forgive me for the long speech, but a mother is always thinking about these kinds of things. Sorry. Didn't mean all kids. I'm sure your kid is amazing. Gomennasai Though there are some parents that don't care at all about their kids even though they had them. And that is the one thing that pisses me off greatly. Last summer, I volunteered at a local summer school (not for failing regular school) as a student teacher with this one kid that had no manners whatsoever and obnoxious. His way of saying "can I have please" is "YO GIVE ME THAT". Summarizing the season, that kid was a bully to no bonds. I sent him to the principal's and director's office multiple times, didn't listen to any directions, etc. I myself tried to contact the parents after school and before. I even went up to the parents who were waiting downstairs in their car. They just ignored me as soon as a mentioned their kid. Like freaken really? I felt I would really punch through the windshield and yank him out of the car. All and all... Last day of school the kid destroyed the room. Don't ask me how because I'll rant on it for hours. Thankfully no kids were in the room since it was an hour past end of school and all the kids left and I just got back from buying some snacks. 2 hours past end of school, parents finally came for their son (probably just remembered). As usually, daddy didn't want to go in (he might miss dinner, oh my. Dinner>son). In the end, teacher just said to let him go (I might have looked like I would destroy the dad). I'm cute and fluffy. But don't poke the bear or I will maul and eat you. Respect each other and we'll have the best time. *Thumbs up, teeth shine* Apologies accepted. Parents not giving a shit about their kids...i'm sure those people have their reasons but...it is a very sad thing indeed. Maybe those 3 are so frustrated any of them can't think straight and take appropriate action any more. Some situations are complex and i don't like judging. They all must feel miserable. This being a parent/son thing can be difficult sometimes. |
miyazawa_rin said: ZTHero said: Sorry. Didn't mean all kids. I'm sure your kid is amazing. Gomennasai Though there are some parents that don't care at all about their kids even though they had them. And that is the one thing that pisses me off greatly. Last summer, I volunteered at a local summer school (not for failing regular school) as a student teacher with this one kid that had no manners whatsoever and obnoxious. His way of saying "can I have please" is "YO GIVE ME THAT". Summarizing the season, that kid was a bully to no bonds. I sent him to the principal's and director's office multiple times, didn't listen to any directions, etc. I myself tried to contact the parents after school and before. I even went up to the parents who were waiting downstairs in their car. They just ignored me as soon as a mentioned their kid. Like freaken really? I felt I would really punch through the windshield and yank him out of the car. All and all... Last day of school the kid destroyed the room. Don't ask me how because I'll rant on it for hours. Thankfully no kids were in the room since it was an hour past end of school and all the kids left and I just got back from buying some snacks. 2 hours past end of school, parents finally came for their son (probably just remembered). As usually, daddy didn't want to go in (he might miss dinner, oh my. Dinner>son). In the end, teacher just said to let him go (I might have looked like I would destroy the dad). I'm cute and fluffy. But don't poke the bear or I will maul and eat you. Respect each other and we'll have the best time. *Thumbs up, teeth shine* Apologies accepted. Parents not giving a shit about their kids...i'm sure those people have their reasons but...it is a very sad thing indeed. Maybe those 3 are so frustrated any of them can't think straight and take appropriate action any more. Some situations are complex and i don't like judging. They all must feel miserable. This being a parent/son thing can be difficult sometimes. I know it's unfair to judge but who else is going to correct these behaviors? The police? Physiologist? They need to take an action at the very least. Why ignore me? Talk to me about it in the very least and not roll up the car window... Ima stop because I feel the rage again... Must go back to cute and fluffy.  |
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ZTHero said: miyazawa_rin said: Apologies accepted. Parents not giving a shit about their kids...i'm sure those people have their reasons but...it is a very sad thing indeed. Maybe those 3 are so frustrated any of them can't think straight and take appropriate action any more. Some situations are complex and i don't like judging. They all must feel miserable. This being a parent/son thing can be difficult sometimes. I know it's unfair to judge but who else is going to correct these behaviors? The police? Physiologist? They need to take an action at the very least. Why ignore me? Talk to me about it in the very least and not roll up the car window... Ima stop because I feel the rage again... Must go back to cute and fluffy. it's ok...mommy miya's here. we don't have to talk about this anymore. [spoiler]  |
| miyazawa_rin is the best mom around here. Teach me your ways of being a great parent! |
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highpriest2500 said: miyazawa_rin is the best mom around here. Teach me your ways of being a great parent! ahah I'm probably the only one too!! [spoiler]  my tricks are trying to remain calm (seriously try...!) in all situations, treating my child with respect and using no violence. I am an understanding mother (although if i get hit straight in the face with something heavy it might get to my nerves a little bit...). I'm kind of at this stage right now:  |
Vudis said: Voted probably not. Right now all I'm thinking is a kid is gonna take my life away from me. It might be nice to have one some day but I'm not sure I wanna give up my free time for it. Also having money is nice... This |
| Ofc money is always problem, but now when I see some many ppl in my country didnt merry .... My late grandfather had 7 brothers and sister ... I have 3 brothers and ofc I would want to have 3+ children ... But I'm kind of person who wouldn't make kids so they can suffer horrible or poorish life so need cash first, home, than wife, than kind come ez |
ashjoben said: Ofc money is always problem, but now when I see some many ppl in my country didnt merry .... My late grandfather had 7 brothers and sister ... I have 3 brothers and ofc I would want to have 3+ children ... But I'm kind of person who wouldn't make kids so they can suffer horrible or poorish life so need cash first, home, than wife, than kind come ez Work hard and save money! Rin-chan is rooting for you! ;) Gambatte!!  |
miyazawa_rin said: highpriest2500 said: miyazawa_rin is the best mom around here. Teach me your ways of being a great parent! ahah I'm probably the only one too!! [spoiler] my tricks are trying to remain calm (seriously try...!) in all situations, treating my child with respect and using no violence. I am an understanding mother (although if i get hit straight in the face with something heavy it might get to my nerves a little bit...). I'm kind of at this stage right now: [/quote] Gosh! I can only imagine how hectic it gets. You employ a really good policy towards your children and I do hope they respect you not only as a mother but also as an authoritative figure. Though I'm not even near the age capable of being a father (heck, I'm just a poor student right now...), I am curious to know what the father can do to support the mother and also the children. What would your expectations be? |
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| Do some people actually thing the education of their child will matter whether it becomes a decent human being? Oh how wrong you are.... |
| In this period in time, education is what drives the world. Care to explain/share your view vudis? |
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| Ofc I believe that, Vudis. If you don*t give your child rules it can go over, the possibility of good education (not in the meaning of elite university stuff) and being there to discuss problems, there is a high chance that it wil fail. CHildren need Heroes, obv the parents have to be. If the parents are not, the child will go rabid or search for other heroes. I see so many parents ot there, I want to shake or drown somewhere. They just don*t give a shit. So bullshit parents do bullshit kids and that will lead the world to a bitter end... |
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| I think vudis' opinion rests on nature vs. nurture (do correct me if I am wrong). So maybe some kids are born a certain way that regardless of an education, they can't be trained in such a manner? However, I firmly believe that an education is important for the child to understand how the world revolves and how they can find a place for themselves. |
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highpriest2500 said: I think vudis' opinion rests on nature vs. nurture (do correct me if I am wrong). So maybe some kids are born a certain way that regardless of an education, they can't be trained in such a manner? However, I firmly believe that an education is important for the child to understand how the world revolves and how they can find a place for themselves. Aye. I agree with you on education. People need education these days in order to make a decent living. I believe nurture has more depth than nature because knowledge is what keeps us alive. For example, if you put some poisionous berries in with a bunch of others, you will die without proper knowledge. And I'm sure that was the case in the past. You learn that you shouldn't eat those berries once someone dies from it. I'm sure you aren't born learning that. It is quite the same in this period. If you don't have enough knowledge, you won't make a decent living. Like in all jobs, there are plenty of other people that can replace you. That's why you must show them something that makes you unique, which is what you experienced. Perhaps you can make an expectation if you have 4 arms in a job that requires much handy work. |
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highpriest2500 said: miyazawa_rin said: ahah I'm probably the only one too!! [spoiler] my tricks are trying to remain calm (seriously try...!) in all situations, treating my child with respect and using no violence. I am an understanding mother (although if i get hit straight in the face with something heavy it might get to my nerves a little bit...). I'm kind of at this stage right now: Gosh! I can only imagine how hectic it gets. You employ a really good policy towards your children and I do hope they respect you not only as a mother but also as an authoritative figure. Though I'm not even near the age capable of being a father (heck, I'm just a poor student right now...), I am curious to know what the father can do to support the mother and also the children. What would your expectations be?[/quote] yeah, it can be a little exhausting sometimes...but it's worth it. these are the best days of my life!! nowadays the trend is that both parents should play an equivalent role in a child's life. I agree with it. For instance, my hb always helped me look after the baby except from brestfeeding for the obvious reasons. changing him, bathing, everything. My expectations right now if I was looking for a good father for my child: a capable man, hardworker, employed, preferably steady job. someone i love and with whom i interact well in daily life without too much trouble assotiated. someone with the same kind of ethical and moral values as me. someone who shares the same vision for the future. a caring person who truly wants to be a parent. I think this is it! ;) i hope to have answered your question! |
Vudis said: Do some people actually thing the education of their child will matter whether it becomes a decent human being? Oh how wrong you are.... About this subject i totally disagree with you. Every child is born just a human being, not good nor bad. They start observing your behaviour the second they open their eyes and will react exactly the same way as you in the same situations. I never thought it would be exactly the same but it is!! I truly believe in leading by giving the example. If you want to raise a caring, honest nice person, just be honest, nice and caring. if you want to raise an asswhole just treat the child badly and your probabilities of succeeding highly increase. Ofc a parent can only do so much. There are many other events that will influence a person's life and that a parent cannot control. That is something you just have to try to accept. Even the way you treat others and your relationship with your partner and relatives will highly influence the child's choices in the future. Some people don't realize this. I'm used to discussing these matters with my mother, who is a pshychologist, and also read a few things. I don't know how my kid will turn out to be, I just hope he lives a good life, even when i'm not around anymore. :) |
| I don't have problem with children, but the only time I'd ever consider raising my own was if something entered my life that I felt I had to pass onto someone else. |
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| I should probably elaborate on my views: Of course parental education is important, if you neglect your children no one can know how they will turn out. But even if you do try your best to educate your children about becoming decent human beings there is no telling what might happen to change that. With day schools on the rise in pretty much every first world country and parents who more often than not both work full time, it can be quite hard to keep reminding kids about the dos and don'ts. Teachers can't handle this sort of education, being understaffed as is, and even then every teacher would atleast have 10+ students. Kids need a daily reminder about important things, otherwise it won't stick in their heads. Assume you do all that, there are times in your kids life you can't influence. Their school life, their freetime they spend with other kids their age who might influence them in a bad way, etc. You might educate the nicest kid until highschool and then it just so happens that they get influenced in a bad way. Even if all these negative things don't happen until adulthood you have no guarantee how your kid turns out as an adult. They might even change their views when they are 30+. Fact of the matter is: you can try all you want you have no guarantee how your kid turns out as an adult. You might/will most likely be able to raise a good kid. Those are just my experiences. All in all it's just as Rin says. |
It turns out I absolutely agree with you! I'm glad we agree! It's scary but ... got no choice now! Just gotta do the best I can! I have a person's life in my hands. This tiny cute person ^^ In conclusion I think everyone should do their best to influence others in a positive way!! Let's all be nice considerate people so I don't have to worry so much!! ^^ |
| intresting razor, i'd like to read more about that. i haven't studied about early learning physiology. do u have any references u would reccomend? |
miyazawa_rin said: It turns out I absolutely agree with you! I'm glad we agree! It's scary but ... got no choice now! Just gotta do the best I can! I have a person's life in my hands. This tiny cute person ^^ In conclusion I think everyone should do their best to influence others in a positive way!! Let's all be nice considerate people so I don't have to worry so much!! ^^ Well I havent really looked into child upbringing at all, thats just things I believe through what Ive observed throughout my life. To begin with I dont care about it since I dont plan to have a child of my own. I do plan to study social pedagogy at one time so we'll see how that goes... |
razor39999 said: miyazawa_rin said: intresting razor, i'd like to read more about that. i haven't studied about early learning physiology. do u have any references u would reccomend? This is a pretty nice checklist of expected behaviours for kids since birth to about 5 years old, that end up being the basis for skills, abilities and traits later in life. http://files.acecqa.gov.au/files/ACECQA/2014/developmental-milestonesDevelopmental%20Milestones%20and%20the%20EYLF%20and%20the%20NQS.pdf ah yes, i always take these kind of references into account, they are quite easy and practical. I use a more detailed one, for instance, it discriminates actions within the 12-18 and 18-24 mth period. But it's intresting to see another one nonetheless. Vudis said: miyazawa_rin said: It turns out I absolutely agree with you! I'm glad we agree! It's scary but ... got no choice now! Just gotta do the best I can! I have a person's life in my hands. This tiny cute person ^^ In conclusion I think everyone should do their best to influence others in a positive way!! Let's all be nice considerate people so I don't have to worry so much!! ^^ Well I havent really looked into child upbringing at all, thats just things I believe through what Ive observed throughout my life. To begin with I dont care about it since I dont plan to have a child of my own. I do plan to study social pedagogy at one time so we'll see how that goes... u say u don't care but it actually feels like u do ;) kawaii yo ^^ [spoiler]  |
Cowabunga said: I couldn't care less about the "passing my family name" thing. Not that I like or care much about my last name, anyway. So generic and uninteresting. As for "a part of DNA living", I don't care either. As for being accomplished, etc. I don't need a kid for that. Never liked or cared about kids much and never had to deal with any. I've always been the youngest in my family, and none of my other relatives had kids of my age or younger when I was a kid. My older brother is in his 30s and doesn't have kids or a long term gf either. Also, kids are expensive and I want to spend my money freely on action figures and vidya games for the rest of my life. And speaking of money, it's kinda funny how poor people are the ones breeding like rabbits. I mean come on now, if you're poor enough already alone why the hell are you gonna have a multitude of kids you can't most likely feed? So basically you will be your own child:P jk jk I am the youngest as well. Though 4 of my 5 sisters had 2 children each before I reached the age of 18. I helped in taking care of them and grew up with some of them being less than 5 years younger than me. I out grew the reproduction phase long before I was even old enough to procreate (at a legal age). I am broken anyways. I have PCOS. So my ability to produce offspring is less than sufficient without medical help. I refuse to take drugs to become pregnant. Why would I want to pass on this crappy medical condition anyways?? I have come to the conclusion that if you cannot get pregnant the natural way, adopt a child, it helps both parties and you do not have to pass on less than optimal genes but still get the chance to be a mother/father. Sorry for the rant. I just had to put that out there. |
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RedTie47 said: Impossible. Love is just a lie But your signature says otherwise. |
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| I don't want to have any. Babies are painful to birth, messy to look after and expensive to provide for. |
Cowabunga said: Also, kids are expensive and I want to spend my money freely on action figures and vidya games for the rest of my life. And speaking of money, it's kinda funny how poor people are the ones breeding like rabbits. I mean come on now, if you're poor enough already alone why the hell are you gonna have a multitude of kids you can't most likely feed? Children are a good investment for the poor. When they are babies it opens doors to help programs not available to the childless poor (like myself) and if they become homeless it's more likely a shelter will take you in if you have a kid. Plus poor folks without children have no one to help them or look after them in old age because there won't be any money for in-home care or a decent nursing home. I have no idea what will happen to me and that's terrifying. I don't blame my peers for making what they feel is the safest investment for their future but the path to parenthood isn't for me. |
AnnaSartin said: I don't want to have any. Babies are painful to birth, messy to look after and expensive to provide for. Oh, this is so true... |
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| Is this question about RIGHT NOW or EVENTUALLY. 11 people said no so I guess the first? |
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AnnaSartin said: Cowabunga said: Also, kids are expensive and I want to spend my money freely on action figures and vidya games for the rest of my life. And speaking of money, it's kinda funny how poor people are the ones breeding like rabbits. I mean come on now, if you're poor enough already alone why the hell are you gonna have a multitude of kids you can't most likely feed? Children are a good investment for the poor. When they are babies it opens doors to help programs not available to the childless poor (like myself) and if they become homeless it's more likely a shelter will take you in if you have a kid. Plus poor folks without children have no one to help them or look after them in old age because there won't be any money for in-home care or a decent nursing home. I have no idea what will happen to me and that's terrifying. I don't blame my peers for making what they feel is the safest investment for their future but the path to parenthood isn't for me. Anna idk what country you live in...but where I live (cowa I think you agree with me) having kids is most certainly not such a good investment especially if you're hoping from some kind of help from the government!! Gab_Martins said: AnnaSartin said: I don't want to have any. Babies are painful to birth, messy to look after and expensive to provide for. Oh, this is so true... But they are pretty funny too... and sweet ^^ grrr said: Is this question about RIGHT NOW or EVENTUALLY. 11 people said no so I guess the first? grr it's the eventually..some people don't really want to be parents ever...that's it. Me, I say (for experience) kids are troublesome some times, but i laugh far more often now than before I had my kid. Without kids life is peaceful and simple. With kids it's kind of crazy and funny. I've always wanted the second kind of life ^^ |
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