| sexy people |
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PAYNE!!! |
  "It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| sī tōng, κακοδαίμονες tōng jiān, δαίμων yín rǔ |
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| Mango Madness Snapple is the best drink ever made. |
  “Give me a break, you two. Yap, yap, yap. Can I toss this guy already?” ~ Buttercup "Squirrels eat nuts, stupid!" ~ Bubbles "Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub?" ~ Blossom |
| Are there any mods around? The above person won't stop harassing me 😞 |
| @Slint leaking our dms xxx |
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| You keep saying that but aren't leaking em 😔 |
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 Our story begins on the third Sunday of Autumn, just after noon, in the suburban home of our heroines. Inez Fulton is the size seven brunette drinking an overpriced IPA. She is wearing nothing but a Brian Urlacher jersey, and pink socks with white stripes. Diamond Albright is the size nine with Harley Quinn extensions talking her ear off. She's wearing black stretch pants, and a green Fubu t-shirt. She'd just finished speaking at length about the Facebook drama of her sister, and breathlessly started talking about the calico her coworker Nancy adopted. As she was describing the cat's green but otherwise normal eyes, Inez muttered, "Why don't you fetch me a turd or something?" Diamond Albright stared at her girlfriend, certain she misheard her. "You heard me, fetch me a turd." Diamond stared blankly at the command, so Inez continued, "You've been babbling since halftime, so you're obviously bored, but the Bears just got the ball back and I wanna watch this. So if you're that bored," added with emphasis,"why don't you fetch me a turd or something?" Diamond laughed it off as a joke and continued to talk about her coworker Nancy's new calico. This was permitted for the 76 seconds before the game returned from commercials before Inez loudly cut her off, "Oy! It's hard to fetch a turd from the living room." And turned up the volume on the surround sound. Diamond waited for the next down to play out before asking,"Are you serious?" "You think I'm playing?" Inez replied looking at her for the first time in this exchange. "But…" "But?" "But…" "..." "I don't have to go." Diamond was apologizing before Inez put down the overpriced IPA she was drinking and pounced on her. Inez slapped her face twice, then shoved her middle three fingers into her mouth. She then pulled her by her hair, with her saliva covered hand, to the bathroom ranting,"You stupid dumb little bitch! You're too stupid to be a bitch because dogs can follow commands! You look like a fuckin' roach and are just as disgusting! Say it!" She forced Diamond's face into the toilet bowl, pulled down her stretch pants and lacy pink panties, and slapped her can't. "SAY IT!" "I'm a filthy cockroach!" A slap lands deep between the cheeks. "Louder!" "I'm a filthy cockroach!" A slap to her exposed labia. "Enunciate!" "I am a filthy cockroach!" It took 15 additional tries for Diamond to say it to Inez's satisfaction, each failure resulted in a slap to her nether regions. Not allowing her to adjust her clothes, Inez dragged Diamond by her ear to the front door and hissed,"I've wasted enough time on you roach. Now I'm going to watch the game. You take your sorry excuse for an ass and bring me back a turd! And don't you come back without one, or else, it's the strappado! Now get out!" And tossed her on to the poorly kept yard. Diamond rushed back to the door, only to hear the deadbolt lock. Diamond knocked on the door begging and pleading for mercy. After 345 seconds with no response, she knew Inez meant it. She sat pouting for 100 seconds before remembering her buttocks were exposed. Covering herself, she lamented her situation. There were the neighbors on either side, and the three houses across the street, but the house across the street to the left was home to the two elderly sisters that hung religious decorations for every holiday. Diamond figured they’d be offended and offered to take her to church. The neighbors to the right had three pit bulls and a high wood fence, but it was locked. She tried calling over the fence but the only response was the dogs barking in the backyard. Across the street a Ford SUV pulled into the driveway and three college age me exited and gathered groceries to carry in. One wearing a baseball jersey carried a 20 pound bag of dog food. Diamond figures she can pretend she's on a scavenger hunt and get her turd without arousing suspicion. She made herself as cute as possible, crossed the street and knocked on the door. The college age white man in the FSU baseball jersey and blue jeans cautiously opened the door after three minutes. "Hi! My name is Diamond!" "Gregg Hawkins." "I live across the street and, I know this is gonna sound bizarre but I'm on a scavenger hunt and I need to acquire a poop. I noticed you have a dog and was wondering if you could help me out." "Don!" Gregg called into the house, " Did you get your dog yet?" A man who resembled actor Alfonso Herrera dressed in brown plaid khakis, a blue-violet Polo shirt and matching fedora entered the doorway. "Hi, Don Silva, I am the owner. What's this all about?" Seeing her embarrassment, Gregg answered on her behalf, "She's on a scavenger hunt for a turd." "Oh. Well sorry I'm not picking up Chester until Tuesday. Wait, our friend Joseph is in the bathroom. Maybe he can…" "Maybe he can do what?" Came an effeminate voice from behind the two men. Joseph was skinny, with curly hair dyed blonde and a well groomed beard. He wore a plain white t-shirt and ripped blue jeans. Gregg caught him up to speed. "Hi Diamond, I am Joseph. I'm afraid I can't help you now, seeing how I just flushed. But, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before one of these," he makes a flamboyant gesture towards the other two men, "gentlemen could help you in about an hour. Join us, we're just gonna drink beer, eat pizza and watch football." Diamond accepted the invitation despite loathing beer and football. At first Diamond was content to watch in silence, but in that silence, Diamond noticed Don was staring at her. Not leering at her but studying her. To set herself at ease, she began making small talk. Don takes the opportunity to probe her for information. Asking if she's a student at the local college, a theater patron, her occupation. Nothing connects them though. After four minutes of occasional quips about the game, Don takes Gregg into the kitchen for a brief chat. When they returned Don said, "Matte kudasai." Gregg immediately dropped to his knees with his hands on top of his head and eyes on the floor. Diamond's brown eyes went wide, her back and shoulders stiff. She slowly turned her head to see Don with a sly grin on his face. |
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| Hehrhehhehhahahhahhahahahamhuhahhahahhaha |
| KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA! |
| Naarutoo |
| zoooooooom |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| sizzle |
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| Saasu ke |
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| win. |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life? Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair. Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life? Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. Mongol General: That is good! That is good. |
|
| Muhahahaha |
| win(k) |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| Twink |
| blink |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
 |
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| sync |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
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| Lust |
| bust |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| No |
| or |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| ciao ciao |
  ❀𓆙⟢☠︎ ⋆⋅  ⋅⋆ ☠︎⟢𓆙❀𝕀’𝕞 𝕔𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕓𝕪. 𝕀’𝕞 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦… ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕕 𝕞𝕖?    |
| 👀 |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| Muhahahhahhhha |
| Zange no jikan desu. Saa, kami no moto e! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! |
|
| 💿📷 |
アイアイアイシテル~ |
| Good night |
| to all |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| Good morning |
| Good morning, good evening, good afternoon |
|
| gah... every day since he took office is a shit show :( |
"It's kitty ear mode!"― Hazuki "Here... In that get-up..."― Kouhei Morioka "It can't be helped!--Your car is too small!"― Hazuki |
| meow |
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| the above user has been hijacked by a cat |
| "I can fix her". Patron Saint of Lost Causes. Psych Ward-maxxing. without love it cannot be seen |
| purr |
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