| Daddy and mommy issues are just the very bad relationship between a kid and his mother/father. There had been so much like romanticization around those two things since year , especially girls with daddy issues that tend to love older men because their dad never was truly present for them so they logically try to fulfill this emptiness , sometimes by sexualising themselves , a lot of boys tend to say it's just an "excuse" for them to be a slut , i low-key used to think like this unfortunately , but it's just so wrong , i was hypocrite with myself atp , i have my own daddy issues myself even though im a boy and that leads me to some weird comportment about my masculinity (this one thread😉) but i guess i just wasn't aware of my own issues. The same happens for boys with mommy issues who always try to find a maternal figure in their partners. People do not talk a lot about girls with mommy issues and boys with daddy issues tho Social media romanticised it with like vids of men clearly using this to "seduce"manipulate some girls by literally acting like a father knowing the flaws of that girl , same for women who takes care like crazy of their crush like sending him meals , cleaning his room like a mom. But now a lot of people just see the "romantic" and forbidden love between a young girl and a much older men in the whole daddy issues "core" |
Love my aunt  |
| I think having healthy relationships with your parents is good and should be encouraged. |
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| It's infantilizing; reducing what's often genuine, scarring abuse to simply someone manifesting a strange fetish or romantic partner tastes. It feels like a way to dodge having to deal with those difficult conversations and preserve the romantic illusion of an ideal family. |
   Time...it will not wait...no matter...how hard you hold on...it escapes you... |
| I think it depends on how severe they go with it. I'm a strong believer in that we should always show our parents appreciation for everything they did for us as children growing up. However with some individuals they also need to learn how to cut the umbilical cord from them as well. I have some family members that are really bad in this situation, and it makes them cringey to be around especially when their parents are in the same room as them. |
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| I think it's wholesome when someone who lacked a good parent figure while growing up, can experience it later with a romantic partner. |
| A rather strange perspective, to be honest. In my experience, it's actually the opposite - girls often tend to follow (consciously and resisting it) the role models of their mothers, while they seek (unconsciously and fully swept away by it) the role models of their fathers - and not the other way around, as if they were searching for what they were deprived of. If you are smart enough, don't ignore that aspect - maybe even play along now and then. It's not some kind of horrible abuse or manipulation, just a part of building a successful relationship, good for both parties. Personally, if I'm ever somewhat serious about a relationship (which is rare), I always want to meet her family - to understand what kind of people they are, and what unspoken, often hidden expectations she might have of me. Like, imagine her dad's garage is full of machines and tools, and he is proudly showing off a carved mahogany dresser he made himself. And you can't even fix a leaking faucet in her bathroom. You are not a match, brother - just let it go... These expectations often evolve or even get completely overwritten by her previous (failed) relationships though. Should I suggest meeting her exes for "educational purposes" too, haha? I would - why not? PS: I could recommend a few books on social learning and attachment theory, just to balance out your brilliant education from social media and influencers. But we are witnessing the Second Coming, so just call 1-800-ask-GPTesus. |
| Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
Reply to LoveYourSmile
A rather strange perspective, to be honest. In my experience, it's actually the opposite - girls often tend to follow (consciously and resisting it) the role models of their mothers, while they seek (unconsciously and fully swept away by it) the role models of their fathers - and not the other way around, as if they were searching for what they were deprived of.
If you are smart enough, don't ignore that aspect - maybe even play along now and then. It's not some kind of horrible abuse or manipulation, just a part of building a successful relationship, good for both parties.
Personally, if I'm ever somewhat serious about a relationship (which is rare), I always want to meet her family - to understand what kind of people they are, and what unspoken, often hidden expectations she might have of me.
Like, imagine her dad's garage is full of machines and tools, and he is proudly showing off a carved mahogany dresser he made himself. And you can't even fix a leaking faucet in her bathroom. You are not a match, brother - just let it go...
These expectations often evolve or even get completely overwritten by her previous (failed) relationships though. Should I suggest meeting her exes for "educational purposes" too, haha? I would - why not?
PS: I could recommend a few books on social learning and attachment theory, just to balance out your brilliant education from social media and influencers. But we are witnessing the Second Coming, so just call 1-800-ask-GPTesus.
If you are smart enough, don't ignore that aspect - maybe even play along now and then. It's not some kind of horrible abuse or manipulation, just a part of building a successful relationship, good for both parties.
Personally, if I'm ever somewhat serious about a relationship (which is rare), I always want to meet her family - to understand what kind of people they are, and what unspoken, often hidden expectations she might have of me.
Like, imagine her dad's garage is full of machines and tools, and he is proudly showing off a carved mahogany dresser he made himself. And you can't even fix a leaking faucet in her bathroom. You are not a match, brother - just let it go...
These expectations often evolve or even get completely overwritten by her previous (failed) relationships though. Should I suggest meeting her exes for "educational purposes" too, haha? I would - why not?
PS: I could recommend a few books on social learning and attachment theory, just to balance out your brilliant education from social media and influencers. But we are witnessing the Second Coming, so just call 1-800-ask-GPTesus.
| @LoveYourSmile You've become low-key arrogant with time man , you were better 1 year ago |
| Love my aunt |
| Actually boys with dad issues is a very common theme. The first thing that came to mind was Pink Floyd "The Wall" and a lot of his other songs about the same thing (the whole story was around a guy who grew up without a father; and Roger Waters has said a lot about that subject, all the boys whose fathers died in World War 2) In anime you have NGE which is prettymuch about Shinji hating is father and being messed up... and of course people talk a lot about how boys in black community (America, but probably other countries too) who don't have fathers around (in prison, abandoned mother and disappeared, etc) and ALL THE SOCIAL PROBLEMS this causes. Should we not forget the culture warriors raging about how 'weak men' portrayals and lack of father figures in Hollywood movies was the end of civilization. I'm not taking a side just saying this is obviously something talked about a lot in society. I'm not interested in what fetishes people have about relationships as I don't think shaming others you've neve met is helpful... people deal with things in life the way they deal with them and if they have weird ideas about that, it's their business. What they do in their bedroom is none of mine. |
LoveYourSmile said: Thanks for reminding some of us how useless we are while you are the capable man here with a wife and kids who helps his mother with painting the fence. But you do have some good points here and in the paragraphs aboveLike, imagine her dad's garage is full of machines and tools, and he is proudly showing off a carved mahogany dresser he made himself. And you can't even fix a leaking faucet in her bathroom. You are not a match, brother - just let it go... |
| @Noboru Omg, buddy, stop reading all my personal anecdotes so literally. If I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so. That's just some affectionate morning hangover rant on compassion game we unconsciously play when evaluating our fiancés, nothing moar. |
| Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
Reply to LoveYourSmile
@Noboru Omg, buddy, stop reading all my personal anecdotes so literally. If I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so.
That's just some affectionate morning hangover rant on compassion game we unconsciously play when evaluating our fiancés, nothing moar.
That's just some affectionate morning hangover rant on compassion game we unconsciously play when evaluating our fiancés, nothing moar.
| @LoveYourSmile It might have not been intentional, but you were still hitting a wound point. I understood that the last two paragraphs were completely jokes, but it's hard to believe you wouldn't mean the parts before serious |
Reply to Noboru
@LoveYourSmile It might have not been intentional, but you were still hitting a wound point. I understood that the last two paragraphs were completely jokes, but it's hard to believe you wouldn't mean the parts before serious
| @Noboru Just take it easy, okay? I do my best to filter the words etc - it just spills from the glass unintentionally, sorry. The part about faucet was a real anecdote, lol. There was that girl I dated for, like, 5 years in the Uni, and I ruined it all ofc (no regrets, but sorry). So, she found a new guy, and he was into weed, tattoos, photography and pocker, so we quickly got along and hang in their place every second day. Once she got really emotional under shrooms and told me that I won her heart by fixing that goddamn faucet in her dorm room the day we met lol (I don't even remember), and kept talking about her military officer dad she adored and how I was reliable like him and all that... Not like I have leant much that night - the carpet felt just more interesting - but I began to notice the pattern, haha. Anyway, the convo is getting way too serious, I surrender and retreat now. |
| Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
Reply to LoveYourSmile
@Noboru Just take it easy, okay? I do my best to filter the words etc - it just spills from the glass unintentionally, sorry.
The part about faucet was a real anecdote, lol. There was that girl I dated for, like, 5 years in the Uni, and I ruined it all ofc (no regrets, but sorry). So, she found a new guy, and he was into weed, tattoos, photography and pocker, so we quickly got along and hang in their place every second day.
Once she got really emotional under shrooms and told me that I won her heart by fixing that goddamn faucet in her dorm room the day we met lol (I don't even remember), and kept talking about her military officer dad she adored and how I was reliable like him and all that... Not like I have leant much that night - the carpet felt just more interesting - but I began to notice the pattern, haha.
Anyway, the convo is getting way too serious, I surrender and retreat now.
The part about faucet was a real anecdote, lol. There was that girl I dated for, like, 5 years in the Uni, and I ruined it all ofc (no regrets, but sorry). So, she found a new guy, and he was into weed, tattoos, photography and pocker, so we quickly got along and hang in their place every second day.
Once she got really emotional under shrooms and told me that I won her heart by fixing that goddamn faucet in her dorm room the day we met lol (I don't even remember), and kept talking about her military officer dad she adored and how I was reliable like him and all that... Not like I have leant much that night - the carpet felt just more interesting - but I began to notice the pattern, haha.
Anyway, the convo is getting way too serious, I surrender and retreat now.
| @LoveYourSmile It's just the "my vacations are pretty much over and I haven't done anything meaningful nor had any meaningful impact" melancholia-infuled low I'm facing right now. I'll be back to my phlegmatic and socially extremely burnt-out self in a couple of days at most Given that she ended up with dr4gz, it was probably for the best that it didn't work out with her. But it's a good anecdote, nonetheless, so thank you for sharing your story |
NoboruSep 6, 2:43 PM
| Healthy realtionships are always best but some issues are more funny than others |
   |
| Ok for me since all people are literally just collection of childhood traumas and that determine their lives Maybe i have daddy issues because i really hate my father and maybe mommy issues too because i grew up with my mother and she was kinda strict so now i really like anime mommys lol Well i mean why not if its more comfortable for some people, its their life |
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