| So I came across something like this recently in response to one of my favorite TV couples and no im not saying which yeah yeah Spooks fan girls TV couples. Anyway a few people said they didn't like that relationship because she tries to change some things about him and that seems a common argument that if you partner tries to change something about you they don't really love you. Well in terms of those characters its clear that shes in a lot of ways like him and even though he has his flaws its clear that he has a different side more self sacrificing hero type that generally comes out naturally around her or when shes in danger like the character the character has built up falls away and they reveal their more heroic side basically bringing out the best in him. Anyway where was I oh yeah so when people say if your partner tries to change you they don't love you I don't know seems more like they see positive traits in you and try to draw them out now there's levels such as: Bad: No you can't go play D and D with your nerd friends I demand you stop seeing them all together Good: Trying to motive you to get out more, be more social, try getting that promotion because they know you can if you try ect getting the more shy out of their shells and so on. Stopping you wearing your Gandalf robes in public because you're always complaining people stare at you. Now I have a friend whose been with his Fiancé for nearly 10 years and they're very different people who share a few things in common now she tries getting him to be more productive or less nerdy and he tries to get her into more nerdy things both with varying success but its pretty clear they're still meant for each other and as said before are getting married. You tend to find the argument that if someone is trying to change you it clearly means they don't love you comes from the nerdy outcast types generally or relationshipless I assume its because they've built their own confidence on their outcast lifestyle and if it is questioned its damaged, to them its perfect and any type of change must be negative. So maybe you're no good talking to people even if your GF is trying to get you into a good job or getting you into social situations to be a better you its still seen as negative. Anyway no point rambling further thoughts on this subject? |
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| couples want to experience each others tastes somewhat. and better themselves as a partner. that's part of their interests. it'd be weird not to change a little or a lot in a relationship. |
| I think stopping him from seeing his friends or trying to get rid of ALL of his stuff is overboard, and I think boys should understand that they have to make sacrifices when entering a serious relationship. |
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| You mostly got it right, spooks. But the whole motivating and trying to get them to get out and do shit, at least for me personally, would just be slightly annoying. And I think depending on how frequent and urgent it was I'd probably take offense to it. That's mostly because I pretty much know I'm doing what I gotta do, if I was couchin it up all day then hey no big deal they got a point. |
| If you want to have a successful relationship, both sides should be willing for change. |
| She turned him into a complete cuckold. Heh. What a faggot. |
| Just need to find out how to quote this every time so I can dodge the stupid 30-character limit. |
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