emperortopaz's Blog

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This is the Four-hundredth-fifty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone to my blogs! And my house, as well.

: Really we should get that huge hole fixed.

: Did I hear something about-

No, don't finish that thought. It's probably something terrible and masochistic.

: Yeah so? You seemed to like it last week.

I never enjoyed the sort of thing that I did last week. And I hope that this week won't be an imitation of it.

: EH? Did something happen? Perhaps... you can do the same for me?

No. And even if I would you don't have a tail to tease.

: That's right! Though I'm surprised that you didn't end up smacking my plump ass! Wait, no. That wouldn't be mamocentric so you were just following my series, tee hee.

: Oooh, Ooh! Smack my ass too, Topaz!

You stay out of this!

: Yeah, Topaz has enough things to ruin the blog with this week. Though I do suppose that you're still involved.

: Eh? What's this blog thing?

: Topaz talks about you on the internet. In front of (potentially) HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE!

: Hundreds is definitely overplaying Topaz's viewership. If anything he has one person who has seen "Hundred" and that's where that pun ends.

: Still, Topaz will be mocking you and complaining about things.

: I-Is that like public shame? That sounds amazing... Pant pant...

Do I really have to do my blog on her, Riri?

: I don't think you have much of a choice. Sadly.

: That's right, continue to do masochistic and mamocentric girls. Ruin your blogs with such horrible things, and it's all playing into my hands!

What do you mean?

: Isn't it obvious? You've already angered Zettai and I've won! Ah ha ha!

NEVER! I won't let you break up the friendship between me and my best friend!

: It's to late for that, you've already driven a wedge between yourself and him. In no time at all your friendship will be fractured!

I'm sure that our friendship will be fixed in no time! Just because it takes a little effort to maintain is no reason to abandon it all!

: Topaz has abandoned enough things, like all the card games...

I still will play those in blogs though. Which I was hoping to do here, as it would be better than outwardly fighting girls like I've been forced to do.

: Those battles never seem to go well.

At least I'm still alive...

: Welll.....

At the current time!

: I GUESS. But that doesn't mean that you should take a chance.

: Ho ho, like Topaz has a chance against a girl like Darkness! She'll rip a hole right through you with her powerful crusader blade!

: Oh no! She'll attack us with her mount!

That's a cavalier, Ririchiyo.

: Yeah, so? Darkness is a cavalier then and Momo misspoke.

No no. Cavaliers are like paladins and have mounts.

: So they're like Great Knights?

We're not talking Fire Emblem, Momo. We're talking about D&D. And Pathfinder, which is pretty much the same thing.

: Generally. But what do you mean about crusaders?

They're in the Tome of Battle and are a Martial class with divine maneuvers.

: Oh, that book. So they're the Warblades with the awful random recovery for their skills, right?

Exactly.

: I'm not sure what you guys are talking about.

: Me neither. I doubt that Topaz's audience does either, so he's just saying crazy things that are completely meaningless.

We're just discussing the viability of Crusaders as a class. Sorry if it feels like we're insulting you, Darkness.

: Pant... pant... No, feel free to insult me! Call me a female swine! Or dog! Mock me all you want!

Alright. But I don't want to mock on purpose. There's no reason to be as masochistic as you are.

: Just say SOMETHING!

: Sounds like she's approving of your blog, then. Better get started.

: Not if Darkness silences you now. Go! Slice him in half with your sword!

: Wait. Will Topaz mock and insult me in his blog?

: Probably not as much as he did Momo.

Being fair Darkness didn't bring down a series. She just made some of the problems more apparent and was a major pain, but at least she's not outright favored either.

*Darkness sheathes her sword.*

: Well then, I shall put our battle on hold in this case. I am quite curious as to what he has to say.

: Well, you've bought yourself a little bit of time.

Yes, but a shame I have to waste it saying that...



-And talking about her blog as well.

: Don't worry. I'm sure you'll think of some sort of idea that will get you out of this pickle.

One can only hope that I can.

: There is no way that you can beat the might of Darkness. It shall weigh upon you like the horrible friend that you are.

I'm no one's horrible friend! And to prove that I'll start with the blog right now!

Head
Hair: Darkness, which is what I'll be calling her from now on (if you haven't noticed by now), has long blonde hair. Luckily it isn't too annoying, as the series doesn't have too many blonde characters (I can't remember any in the anime at least) and there's no real bias towards her hair color as I can remember. Blond hair also sort of works with sword-users, bringing images of Saberface and a certain centaur to mind. Actually Darkness is kinda similar to Centorea in that both have ponytails as well (another thing befitting sword girls). In particular Darkness has a ponytail with a bun-ring at the base. She also has a few X-shaped hairpins, one on each side of her face and her face is framed nicely with long sides that go past her chin. Her hair is also pretty nice, and while it's usually up in a ponytail her hair still extends past her waist it seems. On the rare occasions when her hair is down, and the even rarer occasions when she shows her ass, her hair fortunately doesn't get in the way. That said, Darkness's somewhat-strong hair is hurt by how drab and bland her bangs are. She has a long bang in the middle, but the rest is quite bland. The manga/LNs look a little better, with her bangs at least having blunt ends (or at least they look less pointed). Darkness also has her hair up in a bun in the bath/hot springs, it's not great but the variety helps a little. Overall while nothing too memorable I do think that Darkness's hair suits her.
Grade: B

Eyes: Darkness's eyes aren't too strong. They're blue, and when mixed with the hair color it creates one of the most overrated combinations in anime. That said, the color is probably the least interesting thing. Darkness has a pretty nice shape, with a straight top most of the time and more of a pentagon-shaped eye. The corners of her eyes are pointed towards her ears, which is quite the nice thing. That said her eyes are rounded a little bit in print works. And speaking of the corners of her eyes Darkness does have pretty long eyelashes. They're in the corner and slightly above, bringing out the shape of her eye but they aren't the best. Darkness also has visible, but not super-thick, eyebrows. Overall her eyes, while having an interesting shape, would pale in comparison to the other girls but Darkness does have a secret weapon. You see, on one of the covers (the 12th volume, to be exact) Darkness wears a pair of gold-framed but bottomless glasses. I don't know what sort of content is in the volume, but having a canon glasses image does appeal to me well.
Grade: B-

Face: As I said back in Megumin's blog, KonoSuba does have a bit of a loose art style when it comes to faces. DEEN seemed to have a lot of fun with all the silly faces. Anyway, on specifically Darkness her face isn't too bad. It's fairly simple, but Darkness seems to have a larger nose on occasion. Not too often, I suppose, but enough to point out. Her face is also somewhat slim, at least as far as the anime goes. Finally, we can't forget about her blushing when she's, er, in one of her "moods". Nothing too interesting, but Darkness also doesn't cause too many problems either. Megumin is still cuter.
Grade: B



Body
Build: Putting aside the obvious next area, Darkness doesn't have that bad of a body. While we lack measurements she does seem taller than the lead Kazuma which is always a good thing for me. According to official images her waist is pretty slender but Darkness is still muscular (not in a bad way though as we don't see much of a difference. I don't think she even has abs which is kinda a shame). Her thighs are also somewhat thick, which is nice, and speaking of thick things her ass is pretty nice too. Not super great or seen as often as Aqua, but we do see her bare ass during the bathe-together sequence in the first season. Darkness even sits down so hard her fat ass ripples from the impact! That said, the next area does damage this immensely...
Grade: B-

Chest: Of course, this is the area that gives Darkness so much trouble. As one of the designated "chest" girls, and the bustiest of the main cast, she gets a lot of mamocentric scenes. It gets annoying in fact, really. I'm not sure if bras exist in the KonoSuba (panties do), but it seems like most of the cast don't wear them if they do. As a result Darkness, who again is very busty, is constantly bouncing and needs a lot of support. She might get some from her armor (heh, "breastplate") but it does contain her bounciness somewhat. Otherwise Darkness is just flopping around and being droopy. She's so mamocentric than when Kazuma is admitting how he sees the girls Darkness is said to be nothing but breasts. Not that his eyes look at them, but that it's her only feature in general. Now, I wouldn't mind being in his place when she was going to wash him with her chest, but the blog isn't about that and I will still point out how mamocentric she is.
Grade: C-

Clothes: It doesn't help that most of Darkness's outfits are mamocentric as well. Fortunately her normal outfit isn't too bad; it consists of a black bodysuit with a suit of orange/white armor over it. It's cool and fits her Crusader class well, but it does get broken quite often (at least they discuss having to fix it). The right shoulderpad looks feather-y as well, and the wrists match the lower orange part of her outfit. Darkness also wears a red bow ribbon around her neck as well. Darkness also has a few other costumes, which include a winter outfit with fur on the collar and wrists, pink pajamas, an unbuttoned moe shirt, a cheerleader outfit and a schoolgirl outfit with vest, a maid outfit, a couple bikinis (including a yellow strapless one with pareo and a too-small white one), and probably some I'm forgetting. Oh, and she also wears a terrible fancy outfit during her return in the second season with a neckline so gaping I'm pretty sure that if she had nipples she'd be showing them. Now, overall this is relatively weak but there are some strong ones I like. One is a black schoolgirl outfit with white handkerchief and pantyhose, and another is more of an office lady also with pantyhose. Still, even with those she doesn't do too well here (it may have helped had she worn them in the anime, but they seem far off).
Grade: C

Mind
Personality: Darkness has a somewhat good personality, but it's so hidden under her trait that it's hard to see. She's a Crusader from a rich family, though she hides behind the "Darkness" name to keep her actual (and embarrassing) name from getting out. It also seems that due to her noble upbringing she's quite knowledgeable about laws and some similar things. Darkness is also a devout Eris supporter. She's also relatively kind and has some honor blade qualities. Darkness does have poor aim it seems, as one of her traits is that she can't hit things that well. She still works as a tank, absorbing blows for her party including a deadly (though easily removed) curse from one of the main bosses. Unfortunately that leads into the main problem with her. Darkness is a huge masochist, and the annoying sort as well. It probably should go in the next area, but it's such an obvious problem that it becomes basically everything Darkness is known for is her masochism. It really brings down a character I might have liked, which is a shame.
Darkness does have a good VA. Originally she was going to be voiced by Marina Inoue, but that was only on the drama CD. Instead she's done by Ai Kayano, who is a good if newer VA. Ai does do TDBs well, and while Darkness is more blonde her voice still works well. At least when Darkness isn't being masochistic. All things considered, it isn't one of Ai's strongest roles (she's voiced girls like Utaha from Saekano, Kirika from Symphogear, and Shiro from No Game, to name a few more famous ones) but I still appreciate Darkness's voice. One moment in particular is in the second season when Kazuma blames Darkness's muscles for a herd of animals (I think birds?) from hitting them, and she corrects him that she knows it's her armor instead in such a deadpan fashion. Overall, if it wasn't for having SUCH an annoying and troubling libido Darkness might have been better, but instead her masochism keeps a dark cloud over any hopes of me appreciating her.
Grade: C+

Libido: As mentioned before, Darkness is an extreme masochist. Her libido may be high, but all of it is wasted in the poorly-written masochistic way that confuses "torture", "defeat", and "insults" as sexual pleasure. It's extremely annoying and a terrible aspect of her character (even if it does explain why she's a "tank" class, I suppose). Darkness always takes things poorly and acts submissive far too much. Even in the shared-bathing episode Kazuma has to tell her what to do (granted he thought it was a succubus's dream, but still). As you can probably tell, Darkness's main love interest is Kazuma but he doesn't take her serious. The two may be too concerned with keeping their friendship to actually get involved. Surprisingly there is a moment of Darkness being dominant in the light novels; she attempts to take Kazuma's virginity (and lose hers as well) while he's sleeping, but both her not knowing what to do next and the entrance of Megumin and Aqua seem to have prevented this (though I haven't taken that into account). As a result neither has the courage to admit their feelings. For other characters Darkness does get set up in an arranged marriage, but Kazuma keeps her in the party. Overall Darkness is pretty meh here, and the only thing that can help would be a complete overhaul of her character and personality.
Grade: C

Age: We actually have more information when it comes to Darkness's age! As far as the anime is concerned, she's a nice 18. This puts her as the oldest of the mortals and older than her "love interest" Kazuma who is 17-18. I suppose that's not too much of a difference, but the web novels increase both of their ages. In it, Darkness is 22 and Kazuma is 20. This is a bigger difference and it makes more sense that Kazuma treats her as an older woman. Sadly a decrease in age for the anime/manga does hurt, bringing down Darkness's score a little but she still does strong and this is her strongest area.
Grade: A

Total Grades: 61
Average score: 6.9
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for today!

: That's it? How come she got so much higher than I did?

: Obviously this means that Topaz likes Darkness more than he does you, Momo.

That's Darkness the character, and at best it's just that she appeals to me more in different areas.

*Darkness lets out a long, tired sigh.*

: This isn't what I was promised. I wanted Topaz to MOCK ME! Call me names! Pant pant... Just thinking about it makes me hot and bothered!

Slow down. I'm not usually too mean when it comes to characters. I'm a nice, kind person.

: What about me?

You're an exception as you were trying to ruin my blogs.

: Yeah, and it's not like Topaz needs much help!

Exactly-Wait, what?

: Never mind that! As punishment for lying to me I shall defeat you right here! Ready yourself to fall to my blade!

*Darkness pulls out her sword and charges at Topaz. However, a familiar rune appears on the ground under him.*

: Wait! Not yet, Darkness! He seems to be summoning something!

That's right, and I know just the person to deal with a masochist like you two!

: As... entertaining as that sounds I'll have to pass. For betraying my trust I shall cut you in twain!

*Darkness continues her charge, swinging her sword. While Topaz would have been struck as he was unable to move from the summoning ritual, he glitches upward.*

Phew, that was close!

: What sort of black magic is THIS? GET! KILLED! YOU! BLOGGER!

*Darkness continues to attack, but Topaz glitches back and forth, in a random location.*

Blegh, I hope it ends soon myself. I'm getting a little nauseous...

: At least finish the summon before anything comes up!

Don't worry, I'm about ready to finish up!

: You shall not finish while I'm here! Take THIS!

*Darkness attempts to strike, but from out of the shining portal under her comes many red chains. They wrap around her sword from many directions first before the chains bind her up, keeping her from moving.*

: Oh my! No one said that something like this would happen. Ah~ I can't even move now! This is the greatest feeling-pant... pant...

Well, that worked better than I expected.

: Topaz! You're just falling further into the sadistic depravity!

I'm not, as I made sure to summon a girl who would be prouder to take that banner up than I could...