Apr 25, 2020
‘Dante’s Inferno’ was a tale written in the 14th century, which depicted a chilling journey of the main character, Dante, descending through the nine circles of Hell in search for the love of his life, Beatrice. While all the Circles of Hell were terrifying in their own way, the deepest and most horrible of them all was the center of Hell – an icy abyss that was furthest away from God’s warmth. Reserved for the traitors against God, the ultimate sinners, these souls were condemned to be eternally chewed on by the Devil himself.
Dante was mistaken, for he forgot to mention that there
was a place far more brutal and dire.
The Tenth Circle of Hell: Watching ‘Slowking’s Day’.
Anyone unfortunate enough to reside here has to contend with one of the most boring main characters in all of the Pokémon franchise prattling about his dull life. Slowking remarks to himself about the most painfully obvious activities he is doing like, “Morning. I wake up.” His voice matching the monotony of his life, he remarks about the weather or sleep, indifferent of the boredom that he is inflicting on the viewers. Lacking a plot and meaningful characters, the special entertains no one.
Regrettably, the agony does not stop here. Anyone unfortunate enough to be punished with this special must endure the high-pitched, nasal voices of the most annoying toddlers in all of Creation screaming, “Things Slowking likes…!” every ten seconds. Then, as if that torture is not enough, these children shrilly cry inanities such as, “Coconuts!” or “Taking walks!” Their piercing intonation does not waver throughout the special – it is incessant and infuriating. And to add insult to injury, the peaceful ‘Route 29’ song plays, its soft xylophone melody cruelly juxtaposed with the shrieks of those tiny hell beasts.
Lead a morally righteous life, stay away from ‘Slowking’s Day’.
Recommended only to Judas Iscariot.
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