Anyone who has ever dreamed of creating a work of narrative fiction: be it a film, a novel or an anime, would be well advised to watch Garzey's Wing, because it is composed entirely of examples of what not to do when writing. You'll find out what some of the worst possible ways of providing 'exposition' are. You'll discover why sometimes, less really is more. Finally, you'll learn why hiring amateur voice actors is a bad idea.
On the off chance you're not interested in making up a story of your own, Garzey's Wing is still worthy of your time. It is arguably the funniest anime ever made, because the people who made it really didn't have a clue. Let's take the director and original creator Yoshiyuki Tomino for example: besides Garzey's Wing, the only other noteworthy project he's been involved in is some old and obscure mecha series called "Gundam". Oh, that Yoshiyuki Tomino.
Yes, the man behind one of the most famous anime franchise of all time, and the inspirational, game-changing, original 1979 series of Gundam also made this, the most hackneyed attempt at a fantasy story ever made. It's hard to believe that Tomino didn't realise what he was doing wrong before it was too late.
The opening scene pretty much sets the tone for the entire series, highlighting all of the problems which we can expect for the next ninety minutes succinctly. A close up of an unappealing looking insect creature (a cicada) above some traffic. Our hero, Christopher Chiaka, is sitting atop his motorcycle and looking like a badass. Heavily exaggerated car horns in the background leave us in no doubt: he is, unquestionably, at the side of a road. Christopher may be a badass, but he's not stupid: he wouldn't dream of riding his motorcycle without the necessary safety equipment. Unfortunately, his female friend Rumiko didn't get the memo:
"Aren't you hot with such heavy clothing?"
Before Christopher, or Chris, has the opportunity to explain to Rumiko why wearing loose clothing on a motorcycle is potentially dangerous, she follows up with an altogether far more relevant question:
"Why do you have to go back to your hometown now? You've already failed the college entrance exams twice now."
Three sentences in, and already you feel like you've known Chris your entire life. But such economical dialogue comes with a heavy price, in that it seems totally artificial.
Rumiko's observation about Chris's clothing choice is an example of what is soon to become a trend in this anime: relentless question about insignificant details. This time it is a stupid question about clothing choice, later on it will be everything from the names of various mythical beasts to trivial questions at awkward moments. There is no reason why, amid the heat of battle, the protagonist would need to know what the name of the specific monster he is fighting at that moment. Such information may be important later, but someone with a gun pointed at their head is unlikely to be concerned with identifying the specific model before its owner pulls the trigger.
Her question about why Christopher wants to return to his home town demonstrates another failure in the dialogue: attempting to explain what is happening by asking questions retrospectively . It seems unlikely that over the course of Chris's visit with Rumiko, neither of them had the opportunity to discuss any upcoming engagements they might have in the near future. It may not be completely out of the question on this occasion, but this isn't the only example. It's unlikely for example that the Emperor of Byston Well would need to have a myth about the 'Great Baraju tree' explained to him by one of his military officers. If such information was pertinent to the defense of the realm, one would think defending it would be incorporated into their long-term military strategy.
The third line highlights the final common fault in the dialogue: the preponderance of non sequiturs. What connection does Chris returning to his hometown have to do with him failing his college entrance exams? Is he returning home because he failed his entrance exams? Was he intent on attending University in his hometown, after having moved away at some later stage in his life? Or perhaps the purpose of the trip is something frivolous, such as a class-reunion pool party?
Of course, one can look at Garzey's Wing through a critical lense and analyse it in the same way one would with any other film, but doing so undermines its more endearing properties. It's one thing to read through Rumiko's opening dialogue, but to listen to it is quite another. The voice actress who played her character seems to be unable to differentiate between 'annoyed' and 'furious'. It was obviously intended that her character was disgruntled by Christopher's sudden departure, yet the actress shouts out her lines in a loud and aggressive tone as though he had just spat in her face. It's actually hard to believe that even someone who's never acted before could misread their lines so badly. This is made crystal clear in her last line, when she lets out the positively catty remark "You're so easy-going!"
This is the first of many memorable lines from Garzey's Wing, and merely writing it down is making me chuckle. Rumiko is ultimately a minor character but every other member of the cast shares her foibles. The voice actor who plays Christopher is even worse: he is utterly incapable of showing emotion. He delivers every line in exactly the same tone regardless of situation, whether sharing the feeling of terror as he is chased by a "real army" or expressing deep sorrow that he was unable to attend his class reunion. The only variable, is volume. He shouts, and then he shouts even louder.
The story lacks all cohesion, and amid all the exposition one quickly loses track of what is important and is merely detail. The leaden quality of the acting makes it impossible to invest in the plight of any of the characters and the sheer ridiculousness of the whole thing prevents you from taking anything in it seriously. At the same time it is this ridiculousness, and the cringe worthy dialogue, which makes Garzey's Wing particularly entertaining to watch. If you cannot bring yourself to watch ninety minutes of junk food anime, then I recommend at least taking the time to watch the condensed version.
