Apr 29, 2023
For all my life, I've questioned the appropriate distance. I wonder, what is the perfect view between objective and subjective? Don't get too close. Don't get too far. Let me drift, wistfully, down the middle.
In my heart, there are two characters: Kyoutarou Ichikawa, a disturbed character and Anna Yamada, a positive character.
In the manga Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu or The Dangers In My Heart, the author, Norio Sakurai, etches a heartfelt tale of two characters who close the distance in circling, meandering steps and a messy cascade of missteps. Unveiled are two, smaller characters, their truer selves exposed. A blossoming coming-of-age,
...
their simultaneous discoveries mature larger than the sum of themselves. Joining heartbeats together, they listen. The longer they wait, the closer two heartbeats grow, until one day, they finally overlap in love.
Kyoutarou Ichikawa is a dark, tortured soul. He seeks to murder Anna Yamada, a stranger classmate who works as an idol, her skin as beautiful as alabaster and whose tall stature towers over classmates. Observing her, Ichikawa contemplates, wonders, and plots. Following a dozen chapters, he realizes the murderous worm consuming him was not in his head, but in his heart. He likes Yamada.
What is the appropriate distance?
He stares at the ceiling. A troubled past haunts him, all perpetuated by his actions. He isolates, burying himself in edgy amour, fantasizing and materializing murder. Only through his chuunibyou tendencies can he remain present. The gap between expectation and self grows, a chasm wedging him apart.
Enter Anna Yamada. A young idol, sitting in the library, stuffing her face with chips and stomping her feet like a gorilla? An airheaded, punchline princess with an ensemble of girl friends, featuring Serina, the delinquent, Chi, the ‘boyfriend’, and Moe, the slut, Yamada is a girl who, above all, desires to be funny. She's too shy to talk to boys and likes tickling her friends. Yet, as she cries in the classroom, hugging Chi, professing her anxiety and deference towards her idol career and her life, Yamada seems a little more adult than everyone else, especially to Ichikawa.
Every lunch, she retreats to the library to chug snacks and tease the stuttering boy behind the bookcase. She beams when Ichikawa responds, laughing at his strange quirks and values. Charmed, she ushers him forward into the light, like playing with a secretly, cute cat. In these moments, the story hits its stride, small moments where Yamada and Ichikawa connect, their synergy lying in how, despite all their contrasts, they communicate a caring appreciation, culminating.
Closer and closer.
They dance. Each chapter nailing the concept, each action meaningful and deliberate. Despite the slow nature of the romance, Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu wastes no time. From the genuine cast of realistic, dimensional characters to all the elegant, subtle continuations and nuances that make each reread especially beautiful, subjectively and objectively, The Dangers In My Heart is a momentous masterpiece. As I read, I lose all sense of distance.
Reviewer’s Rating: 10
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