Apr 8, 2010
In order to clear up any misunderstandings that may have been generated through very few positive reviews, I have taken it upon myself to bite my tongue, tie up my feet and force myself to relive the nightmarish days of woe, courtesy of Studio Matrix.
As anyone with half a functioning brain - or a full half-functioning brain - could figure out, Green Green is another zombie in the anime industry's beloved legion of "ecchi harem" animes. Typically raised by necromancers of the "Let's-Impress-the-Writer's-Guild Association", these menaces are armed with bright colours, not enough clothes, and a textbook full of dialogue and characters so embarrassing that
...
you'll want to hide the screen in shame. When I say textbook, I mean that they've been written to death, like the pen torture from Harry Potter, only it has emptied the archetypes out and filled them with sugar and fat and everything that sells.
Naturally, you will have seen a few of these, and thus should be familiar with the horrifying habits that they get into. Green Green is one that seemingly strays away from these habits, although I don't think it would want to be accused of doing something original, considering that everything in it has been cut from other animes and strewn with sticky porn magazine cutouts. What I mean to say is that it touches on new grounds in the ecchi department, or new heights, as I should probably call it. Of course, there is the issue of recycled characters, as if the writers had never seen an anime before, or maybe seen one just like this and loved it. Every male in the show is a perverted cretin, guilty of nearly every kind of sexual harassment, except the main character, who of course wants nothing to do with either that or character development. Completely oblivious to the inevitable harem that has sprung up (like that bamboo earlier in the series), he fumbles his way through the story, only looking up at the orb of pureness and perception that he so valiantly holds up to the uniformly blue sky. He continues to do this for the entire series, as his supporting cast wages war on one another with fishing hooks, drill-shaped bamboo shoots, and hot-tubs, the latter of which is used in a truly innovative scene involving what I'm sure would be plagiarism had this anime been censored. You should be able to watch the opening to decide if you should watch the first episode, and should be able to use that to skip to the last episode. If you guess wrong about what will happen, then feel free to eat your shoe.
Depending on how new you are to anime, you might be charmed by Green Green's colour and innocence, despite the horrifying images that will likely be carved into your retinas. Not to say that it is innocent in the traditional way, but innocent in that it is a young creature that has not yet delved into the dark side of creativity and intelligence. It's understandable; anime is a sugar-coated piñata filled with cream puffs, breast-shaped stress balls and helium, but no matter how innocently retarded Green Green may seem, it still tries to fuck everything in sight, and your eyes will be no exception.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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