Nov 27, 2015
[Spoiler Warning]
Twinkle Nora Rock Me! is an OVA best watched with friends who like to watch trainwrecks unfold. Essentially, a genderbent Boba Fett named Nora goes to Tattooine to pick up a bounty on a space criminal worth several thousand times this OVA's animation budget. She picks up a scrappy midget in a town of huts after a bar fight with a drunken giant, starts a rock band with the scrappy in a cave, and then uses her impractical flying wheeled machine to lazily drift across the screen until she reaches the house of the illegal space wizard. She uses unexplained and
...
wildly improbable powers such as telekinesis, time travel, and impromptu heart attacks iin order to vanquish this wizard, and then stars as the lead vocalist in the newly expanded cave's rock band.
It takes all of this seriously. Poe's Law is not in effect, it's just that bad.
The first four minutes of this OVA are presented to you in the format of a lovely slideshow to introduce the characters, but don't actually introduce anything and aren't intended to be a slideshow. You may attempt to fiddle with your video player in a vain attempt to fix the lag and dropped frames, but soon you realize that the frames were never even there to begin with. A man slides across the room and jitters to a halt at a glorious pace of two frames per second. This isn't animated on thirds, or even fourths - it's animated on twelves. At 4:02 it finally begins animating properly, only to have characters repeatedly go off-model. Important character details appear and vanish in the blink of an eye, and characters make improbable movements repeatedly.
The sound design is nothing short of pathetic. The music, unfitting to any sequence applied to it. Sound effects make no sense and don't accompany their sources. Voices don't match the mouth flaps over half the time, and the voice actors give an overwhelmingly awful performance in their roles.
There is no character to be had other than generic archetypes that can be summarized as flat. There's nothing here. Nothing. Nora's powers are never explained, and she seems to conjure up more at will. The scrappy midget that tags along after the bar fight is worthless and accomplishes nothing of value, not growing as a person and not doing anything by himself.
OVERALL 1/10 HIGHLY ENJOYABLE WITH FRIENDS, OR IF YOU LIKE MAKING FUN OF THINGS AS A LONELY PERSON.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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