“The only people who are siscons are people who don't have little sisters.” - Hitagi Senjougahara (Bakemonogatari: Part 1).
I want to have hot, disgusting sex with Rin-chan. I want to rip her sweaty clothes off and bang in a damp, steamy tent after neither of us have showered for days. I want to ravage her tsundere holes in every position as we fuck like wild animals, miles from civilization. Squirrels and other small vermin cower in fear as we loudly moan in primal ecstasy. As we climax together atop a mountain overlooking Mount Fuji, my gaze turns towards the horizon and my eyes focus softly. For millennia, Homo sapiens have been fornicating and experiencing the same bliss as I am now. It is the experience that creates life, existing since life first began, a trail of cum that starts at the first cell mitosis and ends deep inside Rin-chan's pussy. Afterwards as dusk falls, she makes curry-flavored Cup-O-Noodles and we sit atop the mountainside, gazing at the setting sun. I have never felt more human.
“Oh, Nick, your lectures on the insignificant details of the Dark Souls series are so thought-provoking, please tell me more.”
Princess Luna sits on the edge of the bed where Nick is lying. The room is dark, lit only by the moon set above the quiet equestrian landscape. The soft hum of a CRT TV buzzes amongst the fireflies.
Nick lies back down on the bed and sips a glass of room-temperature vodka.
“I’ve told you all there is to it. Elden Ring sucks.”
“But you were playing it today.” Luna looks at Nick, quizzically.
Nick quietly contemplates this thought, seemingly for the first time in his life. After a brief pause, Luna breaks the silence.
“Tell me that joke again about the chinese cartoons”
You mean the moon runes? Nick replies.
Luna laughs.”Moon runes.” The soft glow of moonlight illuminates her long, slender face. Her blue mane flutters gently from the breeze of an open window.
“I want to bear your children, Nick.”
Nick sighs. “You know I can’t do that.”
Luna scorns and turns away.
“Is my magic not good enough?! You’re always like this.”
“What do you mean!”
“Why are you so obsessed with these wizard powers? Am I not good enough for you?”
“What do you mean! I only have, like, 6 more years to go!”
Luna stands and moves to the open window. She looks up at the pale, lonely moon.
“I’ve waited a thousand years, Nick. We could share this night together. Are you going to throw that away for your petty dream of magic?”
Nick abruptly stands, spilling his drink.
“What do you mean!”
Luna turns to Nick, choking back tears.
“You’re a human! Your “wizard powers” are nothing but a meaningless title! Are you going to throw away everything for that?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN!”
Luna sinks her head. With tears in her eyes, she spreads her wings. She leaps out of the window, disappearing into the dark.
“Fuck!”. A small flock of birds flies briskly away from the open window, their quiet rest suddenly interrupted by the frustration of a man doing his laundry.
A head peaks from behind the doorway to the laundry room. Small, circular spectacles sit perched atop an angular face. Long, golden blond hair radiates in the bright fluorescent light of the laundry room. “Is everything alright, Josh?”
“Yeah, these clothes are just really hot.” With a flick of his arms, Josh expertly folds a pair of pants and lays it neatly on the table beside him.
“Damn son, you should do my laundry if you’re that good at it,” Steve says as he moves out from behind the corner.
Josh smirks. “I would, but then it’d be like we were a married couple.”
“Heh, yeah…” Steve turns away slightly to hide his blushing cheeks. The soft smell of laundry detergent permeates the cramped room.
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