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Dec 1, 2022 12:36 AM

Offline
May 2016
400
You get ignored.

I insert a loli ninja (so that Nyarly's get's a proper answer.)
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 1, 2022 12:42 AM

Offline
Jul 2016
1766
You get a samurai onee-san

I insert shampoo and conditioner
Dec 1, 2022 3:43 AM

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Feb 2017
134
You're permanently clean from now on

I insert a chaos emerald
Dec 1, 2022 9:16 AM

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Oct 2020
1637
You get a text saying this: IDK WHAT IS A CHAOS EMERALD.

I insert an advertisement for world peace with a huge X on it.
Dec 1, 2022 9:21 AM

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Jul 2016
1766
You get war propaganda with a huge ✔ on it.

I insert a love letter.
Dec 1, 2022 6:16 PM

Offline
Oct 2020
1637
You get the LOLI FBI straight to your door entrance. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti FBI rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and tiguratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a load "thud" as you take each 6 step You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the comes bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two “invaders” stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply store in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream. You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the FBI and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering what you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

I insert a boarding pass to the country Chad.
Dec 1, 2022 6:17 PM

Offline
May 2016
400
@FarCritical
You get rejected by the vending machine as it has feeling for the nearby streetlamp.

@Sethispr
You get 'randomly' selected for a mandatory strip search. But you grow concerned when you see the augar drill set up in the room. :O


I try to insert Aharen-san but, as you can see, she's resisiting...
THE-Black-MageDec 1, 2022 6:21 PM
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 1, 2022 6:23 PM

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Oct 2022
229
i got her

i insert a book

Dec 1, 2022 6:27 PM

Offline
Oct 2020
1637
You get a grimoire on how to flip a pancake perfectly.

I insert kevlar suits.
Dec 1, 2022 7:39 PM

Offline
Jul 2016
1766
^^^^ Man really just wrote a chapter based on a 5 word prompt. Bravo.

^^^ Tfw inanimate objects get into love triangles and have a more dynamic love life than you.

OT: You get your bank robbed by the vending machine operators who became ballsy after receiving the kevlar suits.

I insert tears of joy.
Dec 1, 2022 8:26 PM

Offline
Oct 2020
1637
its fun to like vent and make a entire ass essay sometimes

You get cold sweats from fever instead.

I insert TRICK OR TREAT.mp4

Dec 2, 2022 2:52 AM

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Oct 2022
229
i got the treat, whoever's next gets the trick.mp4

i insert a cake

Dec 2, 2022 2:55 AM

Offline
Jul 2019
69
for fucks sake you dropped it

bomb ass enchiladas
Dec 2, 2022 3:26 AM

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Feb 2017
134
Deadpool jumps from a building then gives you chimichangas

I insert a bottle of sesame oil
Dec 2, 2022 3:43 AM

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Oct 2022
229
i get the best massage ever

cookies

Dec 2, 2022 3:45 AM

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Jan 2022
88
You get raisin brownies

insert my awesomeness

Dec 2, 2022 3:55 AM

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Oct 2022
229
i stole it to get awesomer

i insert the raisin brownies

Dec 2, 2022 5:06 AM

Offline
Jul 2016
1766
You get the consequences of raisin hell on the brownie world

I insert a cherry in the machine and put another one on top of it
Dec 2, 2022 5:46 AM

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Oct 2022
229
i take the free cherry because i have no money

i insert oatmeal raisin cookies

Dec 2, 2022 8:10 AM

Offline
Oct 2020
1637
You get good ratings on goodmeals.com

I insert a dodo.
Dec 2, 2022 8:16 AM

Offline
Oct 2022
229
they aren't extinct anymore

i insert a password

Dec 2, 2022 8:41 AM

Offline
Jul 2016
1766
You get greeted by a man in the suit who came out of the vending machine, opening it like a door. He then gestures you to come in.

I insert an ice cream cone
Dec 2, 2022 10:00 AM

Offline
Oct 2022
229
i eat it after i enter the vending machine

i insert a key

Dec 2, 2022 10:46 AM

Offline
Jul 2016
1766
You get notified that 5 random houses in your neighborhood just had their front doors unlocked

I insert a burning blade
Dec 2, 2022 11:03 AM

Offline
Oct 2020
1637
You get water fighting style since its better.

I insert the most chaotic MAL forum.
Dec 2, 2022 11:08 AM

Offline
May 2016
400
You are shocked when the machine systematically organizes the MAL forum, eliminating all elements of chaos and rending the forum boring.

I insert
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 2, 2022 11:13 AM

Offline
Oct 2022
229
i actually do it

i insert a notebook

Dec 2, 2022 11:17 AM

Offline
Jan 2022
88
You get a notebook full of life hacks

I insert my depression

Dec 2, 2022 11:20 AM

Offline
Oct 2020
1637
You get a text on the vending machine saying that your depression has been cured.

I insert footage of you watching something
Dec 2, 2022 11:22 AM

Offline
May 2016
400
You get footage of you inserting things into the vending machine that appears to be shot from the bushes just behind you. :O

I insert a floppy disk.
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 2, 2022 11:24 AM

Offline
Jan 2022
88
You get a 1 TB external hard drive

I insert my family's heirloom (which is a ring)

Dec 2, 2022 11:26 AM

Offline
May 2016
400
you get disowned for losing your family heirloom.

I insert the Konami Code (up up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start)
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 2, 2022 11:32 AM

Offline
Jan 2022
88
you get a cheat code in life and become omnipotent

I insert my lame ass boss

Dec 2, 2022 11:43 AM

Offline
May 2016
400
spectre699 said:
you get a cheat code in life and become omnipotent

I insert my lame ass boss


But I'm already omnipotent....

OT:
You get laid off and a shitty severance package because your lame ass boss secretly hated you.

In insert sugar, spice, and everything nice.
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 2, 2022 11:49 AM

Offline
Jan 2022
88
THE-Black-Mage said:
your lame ass boss secretly hated you.


^ Actually that boss loves me (he's gay and I'm taking advantage of that to gain his favor)

You get mojo jojo

I insert my sleep paralysis demon

Dec 2, 2022 11:50 AM

Offline
Oct 2022
229
^^ i take your extra omnipotence and become your rival

i insert pumpkin spice

and i take your sleep paralysis demon too

Dec 2, 2022 11:53 AM

Offline
May 2016
400
^ You get a sleep depravation demon.

OP:
You get red-carded for ignoring a previous poster and are ejected from the game. :P

I insert monopoly money.
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 2, 2022 12:01 PM

Offline
Jan 2022
88
You get Uncle sam

I insert colonel sanders

Dec 2, 2022 12:30 PM

Offline
Oct 2020
1637
You get some deep dark facts about how he actually got KFC lasting so long.

I insert a duck named donald.

Dec 2, 2022 8:05 PM

Offline
Jul 2016
1766
You get a dog named goofy

I insert the last hope for humanity
Dec 3, 2022 4:18 PM

Offline
May 2016
400
You get let down for the last time. All hope is now lost.

I insert drinking water from Flint, Michigan.
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 3, 2022 10:14 PM

Offline
Jul 2016
1766
You get random water from some river. Upon closer inspection, it's both clearer and purer than whatever the heck you put in.

I insert spoilers
Dec 4, 2022 12:14 AM

Offline
Jan 2022
88
you get:


I insert a goldfish

Dec 4, 2022 12:29 AM

Offline
May 2016
400
You get Goldfish


I insert an eroge game made by a college student to help pay for his student loans because his successful doctor parents refused to pay his way through art school in the hopes that he would give up on his unrealistic dreams and come home to take over the family business.
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 4, 2022 12:33 AM

Offline
Jan 2022
88
you get a blonde tsundere childhood friend as your wife

I insert a dead cockroach

Dec 4, 2022 12:42 AM

Offline
May 2016
400
You get a real shock when it turns out the cockroach was only playing dead. Before you can do anything, it scurries up your arm and disappears under your sleeve. A moment later, you swear you feel your bra suddenly come undone. Looks like things have begun taking an unexpected turn. :O

I insert a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie.
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 4, 2022 10:36 AM

Offline
Jul 2016
1766
You get a week-old burnt raisin cookie.

I insert a keyboard missing its "Insert" key.
Dec 4, 2022 2:09 PM

Offline
Oct 2020
1637
You get a text message on FULL VOLUME + bass boosted + reverb saying QWERTY.

I insert dogwater.
Dec 4, 2022 7:17 PM

Offline
May 2016
400
You get cat urine. Upon closer inspection, you realize a cat was hiding inside the vending machine, drank the water you inserted, then pissed in your hand. Cats are assholes.

I insert the U.S. Constitution. (Apparently, we don't need it anymore.. :/ )
If you disagree with any thoughts or opinions expressed in the above post, you're wrong and I hate you forever!
Dec 4, 2022 9:09 PM

Offline
Feb 2014
933
You receive the communist manifesto in braille

*Inserts 7 tb of homemade Urolagnia videos*
The whole point is to not be like everyone else; otherwise you're just like them.
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