| I am unsure why someone needs to 'dominate' the relationship. |
 |
| Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. |
AppleSeedling said: Sephiex said: Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. This sounds like a very idealistic approach, but to me the thought of being without a relationship is just lonely and plain sad. That's just your instincts telling you to help continue the human race through reproduction. What your instincts don't know is that there's already 6 billion other humans and we're nowhere close to extinction or having to even fight for survival. Delve into the field of science or something else productive, and you'll have a much more meaningful impact upon the human race. ...Just my opinion, anyway. |
| Mmm, I wouldn't say I was a submissive or dominating in a relationship, I think you can (and generally it's healthy) if you have a mix of both. I've never really had a completely submissive boyfriend though so I can't entirely say what I think about it, I generally prefer my boyfriends to be a bit more on the dominating side, but I don't see any reason why it would be a big problem, as lung-tao said there are many women who prefer that. Just need to find the right type for you. |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
| To have a meaningful impact on the human race you have to be able to relate with it. Severing yourself away from it defeats the purpose. |
Sephiex said: You can have a relationship without reproducing you know.AppleSeedling said: Sephiex said: Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. This sounds like a very idealistic approach, but to me the thought of being without a relationship is just lonely and plain sad. That's just your instincts telling you to help continue the human race through reproduction. What your instincts don't know is that there's already 6 billion other humans and we're nowhere close to extinction or having to even fight for survival. Delve into the field of science or something else productive, and you'll have a much more meaningful impact upon the human race. ...Just my opinion, anyway. |
|
| Although I generally think the woman often "dominates" the relationship, even if it's very subtle to the point where you don't really notice it. At least from my experience even though I don't consider myself dominating at all, or as lung-tao put it "alpha female", I do end up somewhat being the one who made the decisions. |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
| lul i wonder how old you are. because your dad was absent and you lived with your mom now you have a female dominated view? count me in and most of the rest of the world then. i also laughed at the knight in tarnished armor (hint, this isn't a shonen anime). being confusrd about gender roles doesnt really matter in relationships |
| ~"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." (Pirsig) |
| As we're progressing from rigid heteronormative standards and gender roles, modern society still has some work in that area. When it comes to gender, I view neither as dominant or submissive. There are women with more balls than some men could ever muster, and men with more emotional awareness and maturity than some women would like to credit themselves for. It's called being human. If you're more comfortable being the passive gentle kind over the aggressive go-getter; that's your person, not your gender. Approaching the question of dominance vs. submission, I wouldn't label myself as either 'Alpha/Beta' anything, feels too restrictive - I rather go with 'Omni'. |
lung-tao said: Scud said: You can have a relationship without reproducing you know. But where's the fun in that? haha Still waiting on that blog :( |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
| It depends on what kind of girl you're with and what do you want out of the relationship. I usually try to partner up with my girlfriend, working as a team, or in a healthy rivalry, to benefit us both. I'm decisive where I know her weak spots are and let her make the calls, where I know her strong points are. I don't mind being in an intellectually or monetary inferior position, but I won't let anyone change my core values or boss me around. What I consider a smart dominant woman is one that twists her man around her finger, but knows when to let up and give him some space. |
| (|__/) Never give up, aim for the top! (='.'=) Top wo nerae! o(")(") Anime music: http://myanimelist.net/blog.php?eid=777199 |
Sephiex said: Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. ^This. I prefer to be single but if I wasn't, I'd let the girl make the decisions. I'm pretty indecisive. |
| If the end result is her paying for dinner, I am so okay with it. I agree with Scud though, I don't think anyone has to (or should) dominate a relationship. lung-tao said: I am a definite alpha female and I'll say it, control freak. You're a control freak and you write a sex column, I like where this is going. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
| lung-tao is definitely a very interesting person :) |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
| I don't think I can answer your questions but I can sort of relate. I've grown up with my mother and older sister and I they're pretty damn strong. My sister is very much older than me, and it feels as though I've been living with two mums. I can't describe my dad as dependable; he was hardly around, especially when I needed him. I think I've always been attracted to more smarter and stronger women. I'm not sure if it's the result of my upbringing. Maybe this explains why I'm so madly in love with Lady Oscar from Rose of Versailles But to answer your question about society's acceptance of female dominance is something I can't answer. However, I pretty much agree with this: Sic said: As we're progressing from rigid heteronormative standards and gender roles, modern society still has some work in that area. When it comes to gender, I view neither as dominant or submissive. There are women with more balls than some men could ever muster, and men with more emotional awareness and maturity than some women would like to credit themselves for. It's called being human. If you're more comfortable being the passive gentle kind over the aggressive go-getter; that's your person, not your gender. Approaching the question of dominance vs. submission, I wouldn't label myself as either 'Alpha/Beta' anything, feels too restrictive - I rather go with 'Omni'. |
GloriousHawkJul 19, 2012 10:57 AM
| dominate me haha |
| None of you actually exist do you? |
| First sentence: You made a MAL account because you want to remain anonymous? WTF does that even mean? It makes no sense. As for all the other stuff. It seems you let your mind wonder all over the place if you ask me, so much that you even lose your coherent thinking. How about finding a girl first and then bother if you have any problems with her. For all you know you might be happy being with her without having to think about submissive and dominate roles. Personally you sound more like some guy with lousy self-confidence to me. The kind of guy that bullies like to find and tease. Your mother really screw you over it seems. |
Sephiex said: Exactly! Like me! Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. Moreover female dominance should be done. Too much shit us males did to them. WE NEED TO PAY UP! Badly. Think of all the girls abused sexually. Think of all the crap males got them through. I think it's high time for punishment for males and I am willing to accept it if it comes to that. Plain simply I think women need to regain their respect and one of those would be to get rid of shit about them. Porn, suggestive stuff and what demeanour them. That being said perhaps a different world like that would be better off. |
AppleSeedling said: You needn't be concerned with such trifling matters.How really, is female dominance accepted in the modern society? |
| My apologies, children, for I am afraid I cannot save you all. |
Darklich528 said: AppleSeedling said: You needn't be concerned with such trifling matters.How really, is female dominance accepted in the modern society? This |
 |
cantankerous said: I don't see what's "fun" about bringing another innocent life into this world. Just saying, but she pretty obviously meant the sex part. |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
hentai_proxy said: Yeah cause you did nothing to stop them and hence guilty you should feel. That's how I think.Yumekichi11 said: Sephiex said: Exactly! Like me! Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. Moreover female dominance should be done. Too much shit us males did to them. WE NEED TO PAY UP! Badly. Think of all the girls abused sexually. Think of all the crap males got them through. I think it's high time for punishment for males and I am willing to accept it if it comes to that. Ah, the original sin argument. Somebody else did something bad, I am associated in some way to that somebody else, so I have to pay for what they did. *bangs head on wall* cantankerous said: Substituting machines for reproduction = everyone can make kids and don't need woman. I think that could solve your problem if ever you want kids. NicoleB said: cantankerous said: I don't see what's "fun" about bringing another innocent life into this world. Just saying, but she pretty obviously meant the sex part. Reproduction != Sex. |
hentai_proxy said: Yumekichi11 said: Sephiex said: Exactly! Like me! Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. Moreover female dominance should be done. Too much shit us males did to them. WE NEED TO PAY UP! Badly. Think of all the girls abused sexually. Think of all the crap males got them through. I think it's high time for punishment for males and I am willing to accept it if it comes to that. Ah, the original sin argument. Somebody else did something bad, I am associated in some way to that somebody else, so I have to pay for what they did. *bangs head on wall* Your gender isn't specified, but if you are a guy then this doesn't hold much weight. All of the people that "did something wrong" are dead, all of the males of today were born into male privilege. It's easy for you to say "well, it's not my fault" when you reap the benefits. If you are content with that and have no desire for equality, then sure, you don't have to "pay" for anything. Otherwise, you should feel like you owe women something, because you do. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
cantankerous said: lung-tao said: Scud said: You can have a relationship without reproducing you know. But where's the fun in that? haha I don't see what's "fun" about bringing another innocent life into this world. Dear God, not this again. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
cantankerous said: NicoleB said: cantankerous said: I don't see what's "fun" about bringing another innocent life into this world. Just saying, but she pretty obviously meant the sex part. Reproduction != Sex. Just saying, but she pretty obviously meant the sex part. So why are you arguing semantics. |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
| Um...wear protection? :S |
 |
| This topic will be over soon, since Yume is here and everything. I can pretty much only agree with stuff being said already. You want to look for an open-minded relationship where each partner can say and/or propose stuff you want to do without getting shit on. Everything else is just stupid unless you get a hard-on everytime your girl says "no" to you. Then you should see a doctor though. I for one can't imagine a relationship were either partner gets dragged around by the other partner. Also I don't think female dominance is a society issue but more of a personal issue. Society doesn't care (or know) what's going on in your relationship. |
| This kinda feels like the reparations argument. Would be amusing how much men would have to pay in reparations to women in something like that happened. ^^ |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
NicoleB said: I wouldn't worry about it, reparations will never happen. There's too many gray lines and invalid assumptions.This kinda feels like the reparations argument. Would be amusing how much men would have to pay in reparations to women in something like that happened. ^^ |
| My apologies, children, for I am afraid I cannot save you all. |
NicoleB said: Good lord no.This kinda feels like the reparations argument. Would be amusing how much men would have to pay in reparations to women in something like that happened. ^^ That makes me remember the people ranting on other people because they make 2nd WW jokes. |
Darklich528 said: NicoleB said: I wouldn't worry about it, reparations will never happen. There's too many gray lines and invalid assumptions.This kinda feels like the reparations argument. Would be amusing how much men would have to pay in reparations to women in something like that happened. ^^ Of course it'll never happen, It was just amusing to imagine how much it would be. |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
Darklich528 said: Yeah the recent paying for prostitution of Korea's women is a good example as Japan actually did refuse to pay up.NicoleB said: I wouldn't worry about it, reparations will never happen. There's too many gray lines and invalid assumptions.This kinda feels like the reparations argument. Would be amusing how much men would have to pay in reparations to women in something like that happened. ^^ Shows their respect for woman being in fact zero by showing such acts. |
hentai_proxy said: Post-Josh said: hentai_proxy said: Yumekichi11 said: Sephiex said: Exactly! Like me! Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. Moreover female dominance should be done. Too much shit us males did to them. WE NEED TO PAY UP! Badly. Think of all the girls abused sexually. Think of all the crap males got them through. I think it's high time for punishment for males and I am willing to accept it if it comes to that. Ah, the original sin argument. Somebody else did something bad, I am associated in some way to that somebody else, so I have to pay for what they did. *bangs head on wall* Your gender isn't specified, but if you are a guy then this doesn't hold much weight. All of the people that "did something wrong" are dead, all of the males of today were born into male privilege. It's easy for you to say "well, it's not my fault" when you reap the benefits. If you are content with that and have no desire for equality, then sure, you don't have to "pay" for anything. Otherwise, you should feel like you owe women something, because you do. I think it is not your place to tell me what I should feel. I do feel that men and women should be treated equally, in contrast to what Yumekichi is proposing. But this is not in answer to previous treatment of women, nor because I 'owe' anything. In fact, people who feel that they should promote equality only because they feel 'indebted', rather than because of their own volition and their own sense of fairness, can never truly embrace and therefore never truly promote equality. Sorry if that offends you, but I maintain what I said. If you have a sense of fairness and have some understanding about how male privilege works (I'm by no means an expert), you will feel that you are indebted. "I don't owe you anything, but I'll help you get on my level because I'm a fair person." That doesn't even make sense, and just sounds ego driven to me. To use a crude example: if your parents gave you money every week, but not your sister, you wouldn't feel like you owe her anything? If no, then we have vastly different definitions of fairness. By the way, I just continued to assume you're a guy, since you never actually confirmed anything. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
Yumekichi11 said: Sephiex said: Exactly! Like me! Just don't bother with relationships and you'll never have any problems. Moreover female dominance should be done. Too much shit us males did to them. WE NEED TO PAY UP! Badly. Think of all the girls abused sexually. Think of all the crap males got them through. I think it's high time for punishment for males and I am willing to accept it if it comes to that. Plain simply I think women need to regain their respect and one of those would be to get rid of shit about them. Porn, suggestive stuff and what demeanour them. That being said perhaps a different world like that would be better off. This has to be the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day. I don't need to do anything at all. You need to do a bit of reading: http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/ Post-Josh said: If you have a sense of fairness and have some understanding about how male privilege works Right. |
LeondreJul 19, 2012 12:46 PM
| I don't particularly believe that men "owe" women anything, but I can kinda see why some people would think that. Especially since it's still a problem now. But for example, would you not feel somewhat responsibility for actions done on your behalf? Even if it wasn't necessarily your choice. |
| "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
| Well OP I would say that I was raised in an environment where women dominate, but my parents are still together. I was mostly raised by mother and my grandmother, though my father was always present in the background. My grandmother worked until she was in her seventies and would look after my sister and I when we came home. My mother quit her job for the first five years or so after we were born to look after us too. My father, while masculine in some respects, didn't really behave in a domineering way... well, at least not in a more traditional sense. I am not really one to advise others on relationships since I have so little experience in that field myself, but I do not think there needs to be a dominating force in a relationship either, in fact that is something that should be seen as negative in all circumstances. What would be better, is perhaps to acknowledge the 'strengths' of the other partner. For example, I can often be a bit too nice and/or forgiving to people who I am in conflict with, so I have sometimes thought that I would like to be with someone who is perhaps less compromising and demanding than I am, and that the two of us would balance one another out, to some extent. But I think it happens subconsciously anyway. I have only had true romantic feelings for one other person, and I found that while she and I had many things in common we both had quite different personalities. While she was quite strong-willed and determined, I was very laid-back and casual... but over the time I spent with her I think I became more like her... and she probably became more like me too. It could be a co-incidence of course. Ultimately though it doesn't matter, because the situation will resolve itself when the time comes. I wouldn't let it worry you that you've not been in a serious relationship yet either, or that you are 'getting older'... there is plenty of time left to find someone. I certainly don't let it bother me. |
| Losing an Argument online? Simply post a webpage full of links, and refuse to continue until your opponents have read every last one of them! WORKS EVERY TIME! "I was debating with someone who believed in climate change, when he linked me to a graph showing evidence to that effect. So I sent him a 10k word essay on the origins of Conservatism, and escaped with my dignity intact." "THANK YOU VERBOSE WEBPAGES OF QUESTIONABLE RELEVANCE!" |
| Weird... talk to a therapist if you get a chance man. This isn't normal. It isn't good for men or women to dominate the other. |
 |
| Sounds like you are on an epic head trip. Seriously. ok my experience? my whole life, women have controlled things from behind the scenes. finances, children, major decisions, I've been raised to let men think they are in control when ultimately, they are not. This is bad, i lost respect for my last partner - of 8 years! and we split. ok ideally? maybe i'm airing my own demons, but ultimately i'd prefer a relationship where both people honestly worked together to make decisions about life. Seems like too much to ask. these days, we ALL have our demons!! |
hentai_proxy said: Post-Josh said: Sorry if that offends you, but I maintain what I said. If you have a sense of fairness and have some understanding about how male privilege works (I'm by no means an expert), you will feel that you are indebted. "I don't owe you anything, but I'll help you get on my level because I'm a fair person." That doesn't even make sense, and just sounds ego driven to me. To use a crude example: if your parents gave you money every week, but not your sister, you wouldn't feel like you owe her anything? If no, then we have vastly different definitions of fairness. No, I will not feel I owe my sister anything. I will feel my parents are being unfair to my sister and will secretly give her part of my allowance, as had actually happened when I was a kid. Debt is something you incur on yourself: the result of a decision of yours; it should not be something enforced on you by circumstances.. Edit: To clarify something: your use of the word debt indicates complicity. In your example, it was not my decision that made the parents give money to me and not to my sister, therefore I am not complicit to the injustice. It is my decision to act to correct this injustice or not, and this decision is not determined by a feeling of debt, but by a feeling of what is fair and unfair. I completely disagree, there is no reason debt can't be circumstantially forced onto you. You incur the debt on yourself as a result of being alive and being given unfair privilege. Of course it indicates complicity, because you're complying with your parents wishes by accepting the money. Non-compliance would be refusing to accept the money unless they gave your sister half. Accepting the money and then giving her half is still compliance, but you understand that you owe her half. Sense of fairness, indebtedness, one in the same. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
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