Big Death Note Spoilers for chapter 58 in the manga and episode 25 in the anime!
Death Note was the second manga I picked up.
I was 15 years old, it was five years ago. Didn't have much money, so it was a slow proces collecting the manga, aaaand then I discovered you could read it online lol. So I did.
In that stage of my life of being an angsty teenager, I resonated with Light on some points, even rooted for him - but at the same time I also really liked L; who doesn't like his quirky character?
So I was solely invested in the dynamics between L and Light, because it was impossible to tell the outcome, so every action taken on both sides was intense. In this stage of my life, I was also handling my emotionally unstability (haha) and growth by shutting out the real world, and diving down in books and mangas. It is just important to point out that I was so, so emotionally invested in this manga, okay :D
So when L died, I broke.
Not immediately or in any obvious way, it was all in my head. At first I read on, in denial that he was gone. When the story just went on without looking back, I had to stop reading.
I didn't pick it up for four months.
Slowly, but surely, I got tempted to read on. Surprisingly, I got just as invested as before L died, and when the last page was turned, I was completely mindblown, and left with the serene, empty feeling you have, after reading a good book or finishing a really good show.
Now, that was five years ago, and over the years I've met others and dived a bit down in the community. I don't really read manga anymore, and haven't watched that much anime compared to others, but I really enjoy talking about manga and anime nonetheless.
I've been talking about Death Note with many people, watching a decent amount of reviews, and while their final conclusion of the series is vastly different, they all kinda agree that killing L was a mistake, and if it didn't happen, it would have been much better.
Now, I have no idea how an alternate ending with a living L would have been, it might have been good, sure, but that wasn't how it turned out. I just thought it was weird, that some people shunned the second half, and people that liked the series also thought less of it. I was affected by L's death too, I mean, i got depressed just thinking about it in several months - but those people were somehow still in denial about it.
And (now we get to the ridiculous part of this post) I know it's just a fictional character. We joke a lot about being too attached to them, but there is some kind of truth to it. Our feelings are real, even if the events manipulating them to be that way, aren't occuring outside of a 2D page. So if I'm getting so invested in a character, that feels like a fundamental part of the story, and they just die. Yeah, that was a one ticked journey down the road of grief.
I won't go into details, but I think the reason I could read the rest of the series with just as much enjoyment, was because in my four months break from the manga, I had gone through the five stages of grief. Don't laugh, yes I saw that smile you little midget. Of course it didn't have a severe impact in my personal life in any way (it IS just a fictional character in the end of the day xD) but it would have affected greatly how I felt about the second half. I've come the accept that L was gone after four months, and could go on without the denial still lingering - and enjoy the heck out of the rest of it.
LOL.
What do you think?
(sry for grammar mistakes, english is not my mother language) |
