Haruhiism

<div style="text-align: center;"> Haruhi is god <img src="http://i535.photobucket.com/albums/ee351/carterhayes1/Suzumiya-Haruhi-01-1.jpg?t=1259631077" border="0" /> facts about the religon <div class="spoiler"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.nextSibling.nextSibling.style.display='block';this.style.display='none';" value="Show spoiler"> <span class="spoiler_content" style="display:none"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.parentNode.style.display='none';this.parentNode.parentNode.childNodes[0].style.display='block';" value="Hide spoiler"><br> Haruhiism is a religion based around a high school student living in Japan named Haruhi Suzumiya. Even though there is some disagreement between whether Haruhi is the one god or not, there is not one bit of doubt among all sects of Haruhiism that Haruhi becoming bored is a very bad idea. <!--spoiler--></span></div> The Sects of Haruhiism <div class="spoiler"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.nextSibling.nextSibling.style.display='block';this.style.display='none';" value="Show spoiler"> <span class="spoiler_content" style="display:none"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.parentNode.style.display='none';this.parentNode.parentNode.childNodes[0].style.display='block';" value="Hide spoiler"><br> There are many different views on the divinity of Haruhi, or how to properly worship her. There are the Orthodox Haruhiists, the Zen Haruhiists, Messianic Haruhiists, Coptic Haruhiist, Eve Haruhiists and the Beveraginist Haruhiists who do their own thing. Zen Haruhiists The Zen Haruhiists believe that Haruhi is merely an incarnation of God, or a lesser god that is inhabiting the Earth. Some believe that Haruhi is actually the Shinto god of Yuri. The sect was created after the Council of Pacifica of 2348 BC where they were trying to bust the myth that Haruhi was a virgin and in fact did it with Kyon and maybe Mikuru. The Nike Revolution of 2006 followed afterwards somehow screwing up the matter with various plot holes thus making the Zen Haruhiists we know and love today. They don't follow the same belief system and hierarchy as the Orthodox Haruhiists. Instead they follow an elder system, which despite the name doesn't involve old and/or wise people at all. Whoever they believe to be an alien, time traveler, or esper will fill the position. Messianic Haruhiists The Messianic Haruhiists believe that Haruhi is the daughter of God, making her the younger sister of God's only son, Chuck Norris. The sect was started when Chuck Norris came in a vision , 2348 BC, to tell you to fire your jellybean onto your kneecap for some odd reason and to start a new sect where Chuck Norris is the older brother of Haruhi. Historians believe this moment was caused because you were high off of mucus when the vision appeared. That moment prompted the Reformation of 2348 BC within the Church of England. Coptic Haruhiists The Coptic Haruhiists believe that Haruhi is merely Jesus using a Sexy no Jutsu. This also means Mikuru Asahina is Doctor Who using a Sexy no Jutsu. Like Coptic Christianity, they believe that Jesus was created by God. The sect broke away from Messianic Haruhiists after a dispute on wheather or not to problematize Ronald McDonald's kneecap . They chose not to do so. After an even larger gap in the plot, they somehow came to the conclusion that Haruhi is actually Jesus using a Sexy no Jutsu. Eve Haruhiists Are a branch claiming to have been Overloading forums since 2007 since their creation. It was declared by the resident Lord of the Desu to be the result of "one man claiming Desu to be the worst thing on the internet, and the guy he said it to just had to prove him wrong". Since they united into a single faction in 2007 as residents of the Out of Pod forums on Eve Online they dedicated themselves to recommending Nagato for tech support, correcting the topic of threads from their intended subject to basking in the power of Haruhi and worshipping her in general. Since 2008 they have been supporting Linkification as a means to combat the Dark Lord Dietrich from strolling around and conquering threads before Haruhiists have a chance to properly annex a thread. This branch of Haruhiists are undecided whether Kyon or Haruhi herself is god, and have plans to make Haruhi read The God Delusion and then run away to a safe distance. Beveraginist Haruhiists The Beveraginist Haruhiists are a branch that flows from the only god Haruhi and The Beverage. The Beverage is not a god, its a sight of realism without one who has past thy liquid down thy throat. Not only is the Beverage everywhere but it is also in everything, the only thing he is not in is Haruhi who back in 4th grade rejected The Beverage because Haruhi decided that total power and DOMINATION was more important than keeping a moist mouth. Haruhi and The Beverage have been known to travel through the millenniums meeting up with Jesus in the battle of KKK and collecting Chuck Norris in the battle of Down Demonstration (of course Chuck Norris arived just before the battle ended.. 0.001 seconds after to be exact). After meeting up with these two they eventually met up with Stephen Hawking and Hitler, causing the largest planet in the entire universe (Pluto) to explode into a tiny moon over the sheer awesomeness of this new league now known as "Thirsty?". Shortly after a book was found by a meer mortal that goes by the name of Steves Dixie Normus in 19/2/1994. The book read of many scriptures one being that Beveraginians and Haruhiists were soul brothers who had been separated since the beginning of of time itself. Now don't be fooled Beveraginist Haruhiists do not worship any god yet follow the Haruhistic Commandments and shall always have a moist tongue and quenched blood. Beveraginist Haruhiists are protected to an extent unimaginable to all but enforced by Chuck Norris. otakon Haruiists The Haruiists who got converted by the animation show "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" which contained subliminal messages placed by Haruhi herself. This branch of haruhiism beliefs haruhi is the highest being having no parents nor siblings (Chuck Norris), and also seems to be against mating as they never seems to have a mate. Not often seen outside their temple's and when seen outside they often dress like the goddess which they revere to as cosplay or have a shirt with her on it. they often have small plastic statue's of her hidden among the mess of their temple and almost as often have nude/erotic pictures of the goddess and her most loyal servants (not including the prophets Kyon and Itsuki). one of their favorite sentences seems to be: "HAHA, OUR God is hotter then your God!". "Zionist" Haruhiists This sect dosen't focus all their theological devotion to Haruhi. Their doctrine states that Kyon is the incarnation of the Messiah, destined to sacrifice himself (by following all of Haruhi's demands) to save mankind. In the beginning was Haruhi, but Haruhi threateaned to destroy earth because no one loves her. Prophecy stated that a man will come to give Haruhi the affection she deserves, and the sign of his coming will be a teenaged whiner riding a red Japanese bicycle. He will sacrifice himself by kissing God in her sweet lips (which was never considered blasphemous) and by following her demands, doing menial tasks for her, and acting as her right hand man. In the end, God will still destroy the earth because he failed to recognize that God is in love with him and took him to her new world. <!--spoiler--></span></div> Haruhistic Commandments These commandments are found in the holy texts written by the hollowed prophet of Haruhi, Nagaru Tanigawa. • Thou shalt entertain your god. • Thou shalt not be bored. • Thou shalt keep holy the Sabbath (the day they get new episodes). • Thou shalt enjoy costume-raping. • Thou shalt be a loli. • Thou shalt love big boobies. • Thou shalt have no other God other than her. • Thou shalt not worship Chuck Norris • Thou shalt obey Haruhi and all she demands. • Thou shalt be Haruhi's slave. • Thou shalt not tell the goddess she is god. • Thou shalt not question God's antics, but rather admire them Drawn by: Ayame_Kumori <img src="http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t197/ShadowAshley/Haruhi_is_God_by_AyameKumori.jpg" border="0" /> my other clubs <!--link--><a href="http://myanimelist.net/clubs.php?cid=14753">SOS 団 (sos brigade)</a> <!--link--><a href="http://myanimelist.net/clubs.php?cid=15459">trapped in the closet</a> these are just some of my haruhi pics, have fun. <!--link--><a href="http://s535.photobucket.com/albums/ee351/carterhayes1/haruhi/">haruhi pics</a> <!--link--><a href="http://whos.amung.us/stats/484dwfryjsrj/"><img src="http://whos.amung.us/widget/484dwfryjsrj.png" border="0" /></a> <!--center--></div>