Kosmonaut's Blog

Anime Relations: The iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls

(Relevant soundtrack)

Life is hard for otaku - or so the saying goes.

Until quite recently, I was truly unaware of the perils the most prolific species of internet dwellers went through. Only very few select intellectuals would properly comprehend the emotional turbulence one lives with when the undeniable best girl is not accepted for their undoubtably superiority by weak-minded individuals. Encountering such leeches while perusing one's comfortable echo-chamber is the most terrifying prospect anyone could ever face. Zettai kowai indeed.

It's fruitless, however, to rant about matters above simple mundane system of signs for words are, as the greatest minds of history already appointed, for the gay of mind and gay of soul, so allow me to share the anecdotal instance that befell yours truly recently while on a bus while backpacking.

My academic journey is in the company of a faithful page whose job is to clearly make people think we're a couple wherever we go. Notwithstanding the feeble-mindedness of those incapable of understanding the servant power imbalance of such social agreement (otaku's honor code #1: an otaku doesn't associate with 3D people unless necessary), we both took the same bus, two bros sitting on a bus, 5 seats apart because they didn't reserve seats. I must admit to the fellow otaku browsing this entry: I'm the type of modern life sinner that likes to converse with their servants while en route. I know, absolutely vile, who even speaks these days? Socially inept autists, that's who.

Fortunately for the whole bus who didn't need to bear with my ramblings, I had to come up with another plan to avoid the numbing boredom. Before the Otaku Enlightment (OE) graced my life and raised my IQ by more than 69 points, I would probably sit there on my seat, head lying against the window, headphones on and philosophic treaties on max volume. Allow me to steer off-topic for a moment...

To anyone interested in learning more about Kantian aesthetics (absolutely necessary for anime consumption), the best philosophy treaty around on the subject goes on like so: Indeed, the quality of the object referred to as Ass in this work is inherent to it, every judgement of the qualities of Ass becomes validation of its aesthetic value. The feminist value is not to be dismissed either: the lyrical subject exercises agency over her own body and takes sexual initiative in a culture highly permeated by sexual objectification and shunning of the female sexuality. A revolutionary work of modern philosophy. This is to be juxtaposed to the perpetuation of female submission and male-induced envy of professor Rihanna's contemporary work 'Only Girl (in the world)'.

Back to the matter at hand, philosophy treaties such as those of the feminist critic Beyonce or the absurdist revolutionary Lady of Gaga are, however, for the inferior kind of vermin. Transcended as I have become, I chose the intellectual route. Out came my iPad - because I'm not some poor proletarian - and the Marxist dialectics OE masterpiece: The iDOLMASTER Cinderella Girls. Episode 8, to be more exact. It delves into the psychological struggle of subject-image with such finesse that no psychology school would ever match. The individual A portrays itself as image A, but is interpreted as A-1 due to prejudiced opinions, and encounters difficulty in communicating to its peers how the image it projects doesn't match the subject it is. All of this done gracefully through the tale of a goth girl that doesn't like horror or blood, despite her brand being that of a Lord Byron and Gerard Way hybrid; she's faced with the expectations of capitalism, but those alienate her from her subjectivity, leaving her not only disturbed, but also detached from herself - she can only overcome this alienation when admitting to her employer that the goth persona is, in fact, just a brand, not her identity. Unquestionably, amazing work of modern continental philosophy.

As any reader can imagine so far, watching this was highly intellectually demanding. While I analyzed this new treaty presented to me, I noticed the individual sitting next to me was throwing short glances at my screen. At first I thought: 'Poor people of this foreign EU country, so proletarian they never feasted their eyes upon an iPad. Fear not, comrade, I write walls of text on capitalism online, one day it'll fall'. However, were this the matter, one or two glances would've sufficed. As the episodic masterpiece went by, the individual I'll call Hans started alternating their glance between the philosophy piece and myself. I think it's necessary to point out to the reader that one shouldn't stare at the sun for too long, but Hans seemed unaware of this.

Despite not wanting to believe one could be judged on their intellectual prowess this day and age, I started nurturing the feeling that Hans was, surprisingly, judging me, a grown-up male for indulging in political manifestos interpreted by suspiciously young-drawn despite being 15 female cartoon characters. As fellow otaku might know, the otaku are the minority most vulnerable to prejudice. SJWs don't care about us, just because we objectify female characters, adore conservative values, preach for already-surpassed traditional gender roles and romanticize a sexist, homophobic and xenophobic culture. I ask the readers: who's the bigot now? Aside from the clear hypocrisy of progressives, I stuck by my own rights of freedom of association and undetachable freedom from judgement.

Yes, I acted as any Alpha would and turned up the screen brightness so Hans could see it better. I was risking running out of battery, but power demands sacrifice. Otaku must never back down, never care for judgement - or at least I thought so. This time, Hans would not avert their eyes from my beautiful face. So, I doubled down on it, once I finished with the episode, I put my iPad aside and looked Hans in the eyes. Of course, with such a Chad display of dominance, they looked away, pretending to be reading something on their kindle all the time. What were they insinuating? That I was just insecure of watching my Japanese idol cartoons with lolis in public and projected such insecurity on innocent bystanders? The audacity of this insinuation made me sick to my stomach. Worst of it all, Hans was reading fucking Kant on their kindle, excuse my vulgar language. I knew they were a racist bigot, I'd never address Kantian theory, much less read it or suck his dick. I spent the rest of the trip nauseated (wanting to vomit, for those not well-versed in french) because of Hans. Not once did they dare to look my way again, I definitely asserted my power over them and not made them uncomfortable by staring at them that one time, breaking the bus etiquette. After arrival, Hans went on without ever apologizing for their rude behavior, as could be expected.

A careful reader might ask: what about your page? Didn't they do something about such display of intolerance? I did alert my travel companion to the oppression I was going through on messenger, but they dismissed my suffering by stating: 'fucking lol ok boomer'. No one takes our suffering serious, no one understands our struggles. This is why I now affirm with full knowledge and confidence: life is hard for otaku - and the saying doesn't convey it enough. Now I'm aware we live in a society, in a clown world. Never again will I be taken advantage of. Let this be the manifesto of a new age of OE, one in which we can appreciate idol anime for its intellectual worth without judgement from the populace.