Hydre_Ito's Blog

◼️ Clannad- by Credulous

Excerpt:
"I'm not going to stop, you thought I was going to stop didn't you? I'm not going to stop. It is just too fake. Anime is perhaps not always supposed to depict real life events, occurances and scenarios, but come on, the interaction between the characters was just too fake. It felt like they weren't even in the same scene as eachother. Now I'm going to talk a little about the main character; he has no personality. I said that earlier didn't I? Well I can afford saying it again. Why is he even bothering showing up on screen? What is he saying? Does anyone care what he's saying? You know who's worse? Nagisa, the female main lead. She's like a dog, or a cat, or any other fluffy cute animal. The only difference is that Nagisa can speak, but just like cats and dogs she doesn't really have to speak because whenever she does say something it's completely meaningless and without any worth."

◼️ K-On - by ReallyPatrice

Excerpt:
"I could immediately tell that K-ON! ultimately exists to deceive and disenfranchise its own audience, preying on them as they try desperately to fill the hole left behind by the traumas of life and the onslaught of time. Within minutes I was dreadfully aware that this show is a one-way track to even deeper depths of sadness.

[...]But when really analyzed – when looked at as an actual work instead of a liquid injection of "kawaii" BULLSHIT – K-ON's strain of happiness is quickly seen as a disingenuous sort, only believable in the mind of someone who has never had a real human interaction and never plans to. Without going into detail about the barely-existent plot, K-ON! can be summarized as a comatose fever-dream in which literally nothing bad or troubling ever happens

[...]I can't understate just how utopian this show is. Their world is so perfect that we can only assume the fossil fuel industry is nominally taxed and Elon Musk has finished the Hyperloop, ushering in an era of unprecedented prosperity for all. If it sounds like I'm pitching a good time right now, then congratulations, you've fallen into the same trap as the sorry souls before you. No matter how high your spirits are when watching this show, you're still going to be dragged kicking and screaming back to the real world each time the credits roll, no happier or more fulfilled than you were before. Where other shows can leave lasting positive effects, K-ON! will leave you listless and empty every time you finish an episode and remember the Hyperloop isn't real.

[...]Where in K-ON! the layman will find warmth and comfort, the dilettante will find a crushing, perennial emptiness not unlike the kind felt when Obama left office. Where the uninitiated will see cute girls drinking tea, eating sweets, and playing instruments, the critically inclined will see aliens masquerading as a malformed idea of human beings – ones who are entirely unburdened by the cruelty of reality and the consequences of living. The nauseating barrage of platitudes on friendship will ring hollow because they are spoken by surrogate characters who have never felt pain and will therefore never feel love.

[...]However 'cute' Yui, Ritsu, Mugi, Mio, and Azusa may seem to you, they are ultimately an insidious trick. These nonliving things prattling about the club-room represent the zenith of lies fed to us by Kawaii culture and the Kremlin agents who invented it to keep us docile. As the complicated nature of the real world wears you down, you will be continually tempted to alienate yourself from reality and return to K-ON! so you can experience a synthetic and addictive brand of happiness that the real world lacks."

◼️ Toradora- by gm-flint

Excerpt:
"To begin with, the characters are unbelievably hate-able and predictable. I absolutely detest Taiga and everything she stands for, words cannot describe how much hate i feel for this woman and her actions. Ryuuji is the most boring typical anime protagonist that serves no benefit to anyone's existence other than Taiga and his mother with whom he has an oddly borderline incestuous relationship with but not enough for it to be an interesting hentai. Minori is another typical loud and annoying airhead anime girl although she provides some moments of joy within the depressing rage that is Taiga. Yuusaku has some sort of pathetic breakdown in the middle of the series and remains an unpleasant and unnecessary character throughout the series. Ami is simply a conceited swine that is incredibly forgettable and abhorrent."

◼️ Yesterday wo Uttate- by SingleH

Excerpt:
"Like, it couldn’t be content with just being vapid, it had to then go and reel people in with dramatic familiarity and unfounded nostalgia only to outright disrespect them, seeing as the price of admission for relating to this cardboard cutout of a show on any given occasion is your ability to project your real feelings onto the fake ones this show instates upon its non-characters for the sole purpose of killing time: both its and yours. A worthless coming of age starring individuals who should’ve already done so which glorifies the fact they have yet to.

[...]I also think watching three uncharismatic assholes project their emotions on one another until they’re all caught up in this maddening downwards spiral of melodramatic nausea and childish misunderstandings which don’t even resolve themselves over the course of twelve full episodes of TV anime is the dictionary definition of hell on Earth, and if that’s your idea of engaging media, then my review will be of no use to you. This show is cold, hard proof the current generation—Gen Z, Millennials, Zoomers, whatever you want to say—is so pathetically coddled, their immaturity has effectively pushed back the age at which teen melodrama can be acceptably portrayed in media. It repurposed elements from more mature and meaningful works as a vehicle to deliver on a product not only inferior and worth no one’s time, but a product which is so mind-numbingly juvenile, the stolen elements cease to even reach their intended audience any longer, and do little more than add to the already towering mountain of melodrama."

◼️ Weathering With You- by roastbeefbeef

Exerpt:
"No emotion is real, nothing is there to think about, everything is a glossy facade of high resolution backgrounds and J-Pop to pull you into this man’s fantasy land of childish romance, where every bad thing is always resolved and no uncomfortable question ever asked. How can Shinkai write the same weepy love story so many times? How can he pretend this grandness, and yet I feel nothing?

[...] As is tradition, Shinkai’s use of music is incessant and terrible, every opportunity to cram in another J-Pop song is shamelessly taken, no moment is allowed to speak for itself, no emotion allowed to be felt on its own.

[...]The only interesting question posed at the end of the film gets resolved in one of the most laughable and dishonest ways I have ever seen, all in service of this film’s real function, a warm blanket of cheap pathos. Forget the real world, and forget that it’s going to hell, here is a cute anime girl that loves an insecure teenager just like you. And this whole climate change thing is not gonna be so bad after all, it’s just the way of nature bro.

[...]It’s incredible how this movie fails completely at its goal. It wants to cause the big emotions, all of Shinkai’s movies want that, but it just doesn’t. It’s bland, the characters are bland, the love story is bland, the directing is bland, so the solution is to bombard the film more viciously than Yemen with 4k backgrounds, lense flares, tracking shots, grand statements and characters crying and running determined to their goal.

[...]This here is just an amalgamation of hypercharged Shinkaiisms.

[...]There is also a shameless amount of product placement, including a scene that might as well have been a McDonald's commercial. Every character uses a MacBook and the film makes damn sure that you know it, and social networks like Twitter also make an appearance. It’s honestly depressing that a movie that advertises some of the world’s largest cooperations then tries to tell you some absolute bullshit dressed up in Shinto aesthetic about nature just doing its thing. Capitalism coopts everything I guess.

[...]This is a movie made by an algorithm to maximize cuteness and “the Feels”, its only contribution to the world is to provide more background footage for lofi hip hop compilation videos. Truly a product of late capitalism."

◼️ Beastars - by ReallyPatrice

Exerpt:
“It was only at the nadir of my journey, where selling my Tesla stock and diving headfirst into a wood-chipper seemed preferable to thinking about Beastars for one more second, that I had my epiphany. Hastily, I gathered my notebook and limited edition Gryffindor quill, intent on doing the unthinkable: I rented Zootopia and watched it again, knowing that the only way to indict Beastars was to indict its inspiration. I began taking notes in earnest, and like the rising dread one feels before vomiting, my thoughts on Beastars slowly bubbled to the surface during Zootopia's 1hr 50m run-time, ascribable at last. What follows could have easily been my final testament.

[...]The instant you have the gall to ponder how and why everything looks the same, you begin asking very uncomfortable questions, such as how WWII played out in the Beastars universe, or how the economy doesn't buckle trying to provide for the litany of different species operating in it, or if there's also generic high schools full of dolphins, sharks, and jellyfish doing equally uninteresting things under the sea.

[...]Beastars doesn't take risks and foreshadow an aquatic invasion spurred by encroaching sea levels, or depict a world reeling from the grip of Marsupial Fascism. Instead, it drags us through a deranged story about a troubled loner struggling with his simultaneous desires to eat and fuck his bunny friend, which I don't find particularly relatable or compelling.”

◼️ Hachimitsu to Clover- by Dionkeykong

Exerpt:
"As for the song being used?That's like listening to the mumblings of a child who got hold of a bottle of scotch and drank it all in one sitting and then telling you all about it's kindergarden adventures and how nobody loves him/her and is all alone and life is terrible and my ice cream melted and SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY..

[..]uuta lives the simple life of an art student,struggling to make ends meet all the while dealing with his weird as fuck roommate,Shinobu..But then out of the blue comes a surprise in his life when his art teacher brings his cousin’s daughter and talented young woman named Hagumi to class.....What?Sorry i got that wrong..It's not that,it's the story of Ayumi a pottery student who has the hots for a man who stalks a widow......What the fuck is wrong with me today..This is about Shinobu and his brother getting back their father’s company..Basically what happened here was that many people gathered with ideas and because they were bored and wanted to be done with it they threw the whole lot in the pot and made a green potato mush garnished with sausages and crepes...And if my description doesn't sound much,you should watch it and see for yerselves what a big mess they made of the storytelling."

◼️ Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica - by RadicalWalrus

Exerpt:
"People who actually think this show is good are suffering from cognitive dissonance right about now. Trying to argue otherwise is like trying to detect brain activity in a Madoka fan. You cant. You could say Madoka herself is the personification of her fans, brainless and steadfast. Please take a hard look, and see this show for what it really is. That one edgy emo kid you hate for thinking they are big and bad but in reality they are pretty lame."'

◼️ Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso - by simplydru

Exerpt:
"Let us begin with Kaori, who is one of the most terrible female MCs I have ever seen. She is selfish, dishonest, manipulative, abusive, self-righteous and histrionic, far more resemblant of a spoiled, ditzy cheerleader than a well-accomplished music prodigy. [...] She is framed as some quasi-tsundere goddess with a heart of gold when she is actually just a sick, twisted, manipulative teenage bitch with a superiority complex."

◼️ Haibane Renmei - by detroitmetalcity

Exerpt:
"Perhaps I'm too cynical for a show like this. Perhaps I am too wise, too knowledgeable, too vastly smart for a show to throw the largest, most heard, asked, scribbled, questioned, pondered, meditated, thought, unanswered questions in philosophy at me and not have me roll my eyes. I've already lived this. I'm judging you."'

◼️Orange - by ItsSebPlease


◼️ Free!- by vassalord-


◼️ Shelter- by Zergneedsfood


◼️ Grand Blue- by katsucats


◼️ Serial Experiments Lain - by The_Fat_Punisher


◼️ Koe No Katachi- by Detective


◼️ Hachimitsu to Clover- by kdbernie