Emachi's Blog

This is a longer about me page which may take ages to read.
I am Cappuchino, I was born in Wroclaw, Poland.
At the age of 7 I have moved out of Poland and came to UK, this is were I learned English. I grown up with English people and know English better than Polish therefore if I will feel any kind of atmosphere from you indicating that you think I don't understand you because I am not English, I will stop talking to you. The same goes for saying things like ''English is your second language so you just don't understand'' because after years of having that said to me... you have no idea how it feels. I learned Polish halfway and then started learning English late for a English kid... therefore saying that makes me feel like I have limited intelligence and I have no language I can communicate in expressing my feelings. Making me feel like I can't express anything I feel, when I know I can when I use English.

When I moved to UK it was because of my mother meeting a man and marrying him, in this time I attended primary and secondary school in this country as well as college. Few years later my mother has divorced due to abuse and personal issues, we moved to a studio flat with one room for both of us. At the time my mother started earning her own money which meant that she could distribute it as she wishes instead of having to be controlled, At this time I started getting better gaming and overall equipment. My equipment was very limited and shit. [On this note, I got my new PC lately]... after a while I started thinking about what I actually wanna do in my life.

I guess at the time I was considering going into gaming. I wanted to become a game tester for a good while because why not? but after looking into things for a while and overall going through life I started feeling interested in programming. I started getting interested in the world of hacking, from cracking to general security... and it interested me. To have such power of controlling things, was my wish. To have a huge amount of freedom and be able to control people in one click. I decided to research hacking more and found that there are jobs out there distributed sometimes by the government itself. Under the name ''security technician'' as person can basically hack without being punished or judged. I decided to go into this direction and still am.
This makes me happy but many people do not see it that way. I have people who find me ''dangerous'' without actually understanding what I wish to do. I have no interest in your lolicon porn, I have no interest in your fetishes and favourite history on pornhub. I have no interest in what you will be watching tonight. I have a interest in working, in cracking things and the general feeling of it. I cannot describe how it feels since you wouldn't understand if you do not share my interest. I was thinking of working for the government but I do not agree with most of their actions so I prefer to work for a company that is not connected to the government in a official way.

I got into anime when I was around 9 years old, I picked up Sugar Sugar Rune in a DVD and various electronics store, I thought it was just a normal kids cartoon. I watched it and was obsessed with it, re-watching it a million times. I was always addicted to YouTube as a kid so naturally I copied it and pasted it in there, upon searching YouTube I found a anime called ''Vampire Knight''. I was always obsessed with the idea of vampires so the series sounded great. I watched it, for some reason I believe my excitement for it was so huge that I once achieved to get a nosebleed during a episode. It was a bit annoying but meh. I finished both seasons and ended up crying like a bitch on the last season. This introduced me to the world of anime... I slowly started watching anime like Ouran High School Host Club, which I believe was my next anime. I started exploring what anime is... and found the country it comes from. Ever since then I was obsessed about Japan, I remember my mother telling me that it will go away and will be like the time I wanted to skate which lasted 5 days... but this continued into years and years. I wanted to live and learn the language, since the age of 9 I also started drawing anime and manga. I come from the age of anime that includes Air, Kanon and Clannad and many others that were popular at the time. These mean a lot to me... because instead of smooth animation without any sign of it being drawn... it was the only thing you'd find. So I grown up with it, I remember how amazing the animation was considered and yes I do feel it was amazing.

There was a time in my life when I felt really lost and had a lot of problems. I didn't know what to do to be honest and life was very difficult at the time... I don't really want to go into details about that part of my life but...

I met my boyfriend who saved me in my life. He is my sweetheart and my life. Without him I don't know were I would be or if I would even be alive. He has always been there for me no matter what and was the only person who never left me. I can't thank him enough and I hope that we have many more years together and hopefully a lifetime. He is a star, literally. I am lucky to have found him and honestly I don't deserve someone so amazing but for some reason he wants me >///<