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June 26th, 2023

Anime Watching Challenge

Anime Relations: Soul Eater

Posted by DigiCat | Jun 26, 2023 1:56 PM | 0 comments

April 17th, 2023

Discord short story challenge 1

Anime Relations: Poyopoyo Kansatsu Nikki

Hours upon hours have past, as summer starts to set in and the scorching heat becomes ever so present, Kaori lays stroon over the counter staring at a hamster who's been humping a baseball for over an hour.
After being fired from the supermarket for making rocket boots out of coca-cola bottles (an obviously failed and very messy experiment), Kaori, searching and begging far and wide finally found a job at a pet store, a job her brother hopes she'll be able to hold for more than a week.

"I'm so booooored. I can't take it anymore!" Kaori groans banging her head on the counter, "5 hours since opening time... and not a single customer! What is wrong with you people? Don't you feed your pets?? Have you no heart??!" the sudden agonized screams get all the animals's eyes on Kaori, well, all but one.
"Nothing can interrupt you huh, hamham"

Bzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzz bzzzzzz

Kaori slams her head back on the counter. On top of the mind numbing lack of customers, the shop had also been plagued all day by an ever so faint but extreamly annoying buzzing sound.

"Damn it! Why can't i freaking see what's making that sound so i can smash it??"

The buzzing suddenly stopped, but just before Kaori could let of a sigh of relief...

BANG BANG SCREEEAACH BANG!!

Kaori jumped like a spooked animal, she felt shivers down her spine, "What the fuck was that??" a high pitched squeel murmered out of her mouth.
She looks around the shop. Nothing. Toilet. All in order. Outside. No construction work going on. The loud banging continued, tremmors could now be felt throughout the shop.
Kaori could come to only one conclusion, the shop... was haunted!

***

Kaori runs frantically around the shop, the animals's heads following her movements, left right left right, all but... two...
Somethign catches Kaori's eye, somethign's not right... the cats's cage, the cats have been staring at the same spot for... for ever, Kaori hadn't noticed their stillness before, what was it they were staring at?
She rushes to inspect the spot they were facing towards.

"What are you doing?"

"KYAAAAAAHHHH!!"

Kaori jumps crashing againts a shelf and lunges foward towards the man ready to claw him.

"Hey, Hey! What the hell is going on?"

Only to realize who it was in front of her, the razor sharp claws traded for bluberring puppy eyes as she cried out "Ryu-niichan!"

Not her brother. Ryuga, relation to Kaori: Kaori's brother's childhood friend, married to Kaori's cousin's half-sister.

Ryuga had only come for the simple task of buying some cat food, but instead wound up sitting there thinking how in the bloody world could his firend's crazy baby sister fuck up working in a pet shop?
"C'mon, wha't wrong? Did you do something to get yourself fired again?"
Kaori sobs "No, no, there's somethign wrong, there's something wrong with the animals"
"You mean that fuzzball?" Ryuga point at the hamster cage.
"No. The fapping hamster isn't the problem", Kaori brings Ryuga to the cat cage "Look they're not moving an inch, they're like frozen, they've been like that for hours!"
Ryuga kneels down trying to take a closer look at the cats "Did you open the cage to check on them?"

Open the cage, the obvious thing to do, the obvious thing that had not in the slightest entered Kaori's mind.
"Get the damn keys!" Ryuga facepalms as he watches Kaori yet again forgo the most obvious corse of action.

Kaori brings a box of unmarked keys, the process of testing them all begins...

"Of course it has to be the last one" Ryuga exclaims as he finally opes the cage with the last remaining key in the box.
He streaches his arms out in the cage to grab the cats "Here kitty kitty, come here... ... Kaori..." "Yeah?" "These cats are not real" "WHAT??!" "They aren't real! They're plushies!", Ryuga launches the stuffed animals towards Kaori "But, but, i swear they were real the other day!", a baffled Kaori stickes her head in the empty cage bashing her head on the ceiling of it in the process.

"How is this possible? How does this make any sense??" "I don't know? Maybe someone bought the cats while you were off duty. See, nothing's wrong with this place"
"But what about the sound??" "What soun...d..." BANG BANG BANG. A worried expression suddenly fills Ryuga's face. BANG SCREEAACH BANG BANG! As Ryuga jumps his hand that was leaning inside the cage hits the litter box, and the two friends notice the sand pooling towards the middle of it.
"Why's the kitty litter look like quick sand?"
"Ryuga, move it again", he reluctently does, the sand seems like it's falling into something. Ryuga pushes the whole tray away, a hole has been dug in the ground under it.

***

"O... k... the cats dug a whole to escape??", a very unlikely scenario, but the only one Ryuga could come up with which made the slightest bit if sense.
Kaori on the other hand was now frozen solid herself, her head felt light, a nervouse grin slowly appeared on her face "he he... i'm gonna lose my job... again..."
"Hey, snap out of it." Ryuga snaps his fingers to get Kaori out of her dazed state "The hole must lead to somewhere, a basement? Dose this place have a basement?", Kaori shakes her head, "Are you sure? Where does all the food get stored?", Kaori points at the various shelves, blissfully unawear that there would be extra stock in a storeroom, "Oh..."
When the realization finally hit her, the two started to look for a storeroom door.

Finally, behind an overpiled coat rack, an old craking door was found. They pushed with all there streangth as the decrepit wooden door slowly screached open.
Mountains of pet food linde the walls of the tiny room floor to ceiling. "See, no basement." Kaori states pointing out the obvious, "You've got to be kidding me, what the hell is under this place then?" Ryuga circles the little room in disbelief. He punches the back wall in frustration, causing the unstable towering stack of dog food to shake.
"Ryuga! Watch out!", Kaori pulls at Ryuga's shirt in an attempt to get him out of the collapsing room, but the bags if food don't fall Ryuga's way, they instead fall backwards to reveal a hidden stairwell.

Kaori and Ryuga make their way down the steep squeeky staircase, the walls of those also hidden by towering piles of pet food.
Reached the bottom Kaori pcks up a loose tin of cat food that'd rolled away from the jampacked walls "Holy shit! This thing expired in 1977."
Ryuga's mouth drops, no wonder the place was always empty, it'd been derelict for decades.

The banging and screaching was now louder than ever, the cold and damk baseement resembled more a cave than part of a modern building.
Kaori and Ryuga sheepishly followed the sound. Reaching a tall shelf, the noise was now deaffening. The two friends shaking like puppies out in the cold hesitantly poked their heads round the corner. What they were met with were big wide green glowing eyes staring right back at them. A silhouette of glossy gooey fur could be vaguely distinguished in the flickering light, and an all to familiar hole was gaping in the ceiling. Suddenly one pair of glowy eyes appeared to turn around, only to then reappear having done a 360 degree turn "Mew"

"The cats... the cats are... THE CATS ARE ALIENS!!" the two shreaked as they clumsily backed away, Ryuga crashing against a switch board in the process. The banging and screaching suddenly stopped. At that moment all the shiney green eyes turned away from the frightened pair to face a broken pipe. As if slithering away, the slimy feline looking creatures squeezed up the pipe. The alien cats had escaped to the outside world...

***

Posted by DigiCat | Apr 17, 2023 3:29 PM | 0 comments

March 24th, 2023

Nation State

Anime Relations: Oshiri Tantei

The land of Neko-Oshiri https://www.nationstates.net/nation=neko-oshiri

Best of nation states

“What idiot passed her?” bemoans your sister, in a voice laden with maternal protectiveness. “I drove her to the test centre and saw everything. Her test had barely begun, when she had to consider a group of young school children crossing the street. She honked at them so furiously that they had to run to get across the road. Then, she took off so fast that she drove straight into a brick wall. Yet she still passed her test! Leader, you must standardise driving examinations and test the examiners themselves against the same standards. Then there’ll be less people like my daughter on the roads.”

“Mum, that’s so not fair!” squeals your niece. “Those school kids were like, deliberately walking slowly — wasting my time on purpose — I have a right to make them move more quickly. And like, what a dumb place to put a wall: right in front of a prison of all places! Anyway, the examiner, Théoden, was like really cool; it turned out that we went to the same school and we had a really good gossip about Mr. Berlusconi, our old Maths teacher. In his opinion, if there were ‘other reasons’ to pass me, then his professional judgement must be accepted. I have my license now, fair and square, kind of!”

“My little niece has a license now? That’s so cool!” exclaims your brother, who is your niece’s favourite uncle. “Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let’s go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, we should show that sibling of mine that the government should do away with licenses altogether; learning by doing is always the best teacher!”

“It’s not my fault I broke these idiotic new laws if I wasn’t even aware they existed! How was I supposed to know that claiming my seven cats as dependents for tax purposes was no longer legal?”

“Science is critical to understanding our place in the natural world,” writes biologist Llywelyn Thiesen in his application letter, which is covered in paw-prints and smells faintly of Chonky Cat dung

“I can’t see what the fuss is about,” chimes in B. F. Spinner, a spokesperson of the Neko-Oshiri City Ornithological Society. “Ask any illusionist or postman you know: pigeons are highly trainable animals. If the problem is that they are pooping around, they can simply be given potty training. Just put small toilet bowls at designated spots in the city, equipped with a food dispenser that gives food pellets when a pigeon poops there. The pooping behavior will thus be positively reinforced and — voila! — the next time the pigeon will go to the toilet bowl when it needs to poop. Problem solved!”

"Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets"

"The roar of the Niagara 3000 mega-loo can be heard several blocks away"

"late night adverts for breast milk co-ops regularly win pornography industry awards"

"Airplane passengers who purchase "basic economy" tickets are often assigned seats in the lavatory"

Posted by DigiCat | Mar 24, 2023 5:16 PM | 0 comments

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