Apr 3, 2019 10:51 AM
Chrissy's deleted review archive #1 - Godzilla 3
Anime Relations:
Godzilla 3: Hoshi wo Kuu Mono
Spoiler Warning.
It’s another Polygon produced Godzilla movie. The first “action” scene takes place 40 minutes in. Before the first “action” scene:
A) People argue about space politics;
B) People examine 3D graphs;
C) A man rejects sexual advances from an underaged girl;
D) A man accepts sexual advances from an underaged girl;
E) People eat an underaged girl (later retracted);
F) People argue about space religion.
There’s a half hour gap between the first “action” scene and the second “action” scene. In between the two “action” scenes:
A) Lightning strikes a mountain;
B) A dream dragon bites Godzilla;
C) People argue about space philosophy;
D) Lightning strikes a mountain again;
E) Mothra makes an uncredited cameo;
F) Hiroshima gets nuked.
During the second “action” scene Godzilla attempts a massive babyface turn. He agrees not to bother anyone anymore as long as no one bothers him. Godzilla is a bee now.
Following the second “action” scene the protagonist kidnaps a comatose girl and bothers Godzilla. He is immediately lasered to death. Fin.
This movie is a travesty.
It’s another Polygon produced Godzilla movie. The first “action” scene takes place 40 minutes in. Before the first “action” scene:
A) People argue about space politics;
B) People examine 3D graphs;
C) A man rejects sexual advances from an underaged girl;
D) A man accepts sexual advances from an underaged girl;
E) People eat an underaged girl (later retracted);
F) People argue about space religion.
There’s a half hour gap between the first “action” scene and the second “action” scene. In between the two “action” scenes:
A) Lightning strikes a mountain;
B) A dream dragon bites Godzilla;
C) People argue about space philosophy;
D) Lightning strikes a mountain again;
E) Mothra makes an uncredited cameo;
F) Hiroshima gets nuked.
During the second “action” scene Godzilla attempts a massive babyface turn. He agrees not to bother anyone anymore as long as no one bothers him. Godzilla is a bee now.
Following the second “action” scene the protagonist kidnaps a comatose girl and bothers Godzilla. He is immediately lasered to death. Fin.
This movie is a travesty.
Posted by
chrissy_poo_too
| Apr 3, 2019 10:51 AM |
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