Apr 4, 2024
Honestly Boonie Bears is kinda a sleeper hit because I fell asleep watching this movie. So apparently Boonie Bears is like a beloved cartoon of kids in China and is to China what SpongeBob is to America [citation needed]. This movie had an oddly sexual twink fox alien character crash land onto the beloved Boonie Bears cast and then the US government wants his powers or something, and then they try to like kidnap the twink fox who I'm not even sure if it was a boy or a girl and then they want its powers for some reason and then some weird villain girl
...
who totally pegs her husband tries to like use giant robots to put humans in the race for the strongest species in existence? It really doesn't make sense at all it's like some weird fever dream where they kinda try to emulate the Avengers. For instance, towards the end of the movie they like kill off literally everyone and then bring them all back to life in some bullshit familial love scene. It's just all really tropey stuff that isn't even done uniquely. The movie can be described as follows: we meet the Boonie Bears (I don't know what this means), we meet the new character that is literally the whole problem, shenanigans ensue where the two character don't like each other, then they have to work together, then the villain fucking kidnaps the space fox twink thing and then the bear somehow saves it then they recoup and then prepare for a big fight or whatever and then they fight and then they win. It's just so boring and contrived. You could say that the movie is made for kids and that they would enjoy it or whatever and I guess you would be right but a lot of the jokes aren't even chuckleable. When you watch trailers for kids movies for other films, you could at least chortle a little bit when those trailer-worthy jokes drop but there just weren't any for this. The only reason it's not a 1 is because the target audience is children but even then just like put on a Pixar movie dude this shit BLOWS!
Reviewer’s Rating: 2
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