Nana-hon No Ken Advertising

simonephone said:
hey i could only read the first two chapters but heres what i think so far

you're pacing is quite good! i was surprised. you use wordless panels really well and the story is told at a pretty appropriate pace. would you mind telling us about the over arching plot of the story? i think that would help for criticism. unfortunately so far the story is pretty unoriginal, so that could use some work. but its early so ill withhold judgement on that for the most part.

you clearly have artistic talent, but honestly your art is at a pretty amateurish level. it looks like the art of someone whos enjoyed drawing all their lives, but never sat down and learned all the technical stuff. you have to learn the boring technicalities or your work will suffer. you're very good about shading, your backgrounds look nice and the gun and the car were quite well drawn, but unfortunately your people arent super anatomically accurate. the most important thing i can tell you is WORK ON ANATOMY if youre serious about writing a good comic. i can tell that you know in your mind what you want your panels to look like, and the angels you show things at are impressive, but you dont have a very good grasp on anatomy so everything looks awkward. study anatomy, learn what people really look like, and your work will seem much more professional. that includes facial anatomy. even if your writing is good, if the characters look like they were drawn by an amateur no one will take your work seriously.

here http://www.posemaniacs.com/ thats the best website i know for learning anatomy. anyway, i think its awesome that youre writing a comic. i think everyone should write and draw, and i really think you have a lot of potential. i hope this helps!

YamamotoSensei said:

First of all, Thanks for taking the time to read my work, now I'll answer every point of your feedback.

YamamotoSensei said:
Well, the general plot of the story is about how the main character, the kid, goes all around the world searching for 7 powerful swords to destroy them for some reason which is too complex and I don't want to spoil. About chapter 7, when he remembers again everything about the village he used to live and his family, is when the story starts to go crazy.

YamamotoSensei said:
About the anatomy... I'm actually not an amateur at all, I have studied a lot of anatomy and I'm also quite good at realistic drawing. It may sound like a cheap excuse, but his is what happened: I used to draw very good manga drawings, very detailed and proportioned, but they took me about a month to make each one.

dream_eater1012 said:

The hair bothers me too. It's just.. black. Or toned. Hair reflects light, but in this it's just all one color. And it looks kind of weird.