| I actually imagined Kejourou at first :) |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| FINALLY! someone picked the scorpion girl... her origenal name is to complicated for my mind to spell so I just call them that. Anyway I think you described her personality perfectly. And I'm a big fan of dark stuff so by all means please continue. :D |
| Very nice. You're certainly handling that predatory seduction exceptionally. Well, that decision could take things in a rather interesting direction. Regardless of how that all plays out, I find myself hoping she sticks around. Arachnids are far too often the evil welcoming committee for new arrivals to the island. Though, this is good enough that I doubt I'll complain whichever way this goes. =) |
| I found a natural place to reference the thigh injury, it's so far away though that I suspect some of you will have forgotten I got it in the first place by the time we get there. XD Oh well. @Ocu & tterreb: A couple? Sure, you can call it that... maybe. XD @beast_regards: That thing looks amazing o.O I think I'll work one in at some point. @Carn0: I'm aiming for darkness over 9000! Slap me if I don't do it right! @emeraldtryst: I'm not sure she'll be sticking around in quite the way you intend, but she will definitely not be vanishing. =) |
| ... Yeeeeah... I guess it was fine. The girl was kinda interesting... The description was ok... >_> <_<  WHY ARE YOU SO GADDEMN GOOD. WHY!? I WANT MOAR! T_T |
 "You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| I'd never do that. Not even with the most sexy/adorable companion in the world ù_ù |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| The story so far: The following content contains content which has some poorly contained sexual content. PG-18, boobies yada yada... no Ocus allowed. Please enjoy. * Chapter 4 - Connections? "Let me write it down." The tension broke immediately, "What?" I could feel her hands retreating but her stinger stayed right where it was. I kept my cool, or I tried to at least; there was a limit to how much I could still my trembling hands, "I have a name for you, but I need to write it down. I'm sure you'll see why." Her tail shifted and the pressure started coming off my neck. We sat in silence for a minute. She slowly untangled the two of us and dragged herself from the bedding. In a flash she had turned around. One of her claws, seemingly capable of crushing rocks to dust was around my neck as one of her human hands grabbed my face, "This had better be good, pet." She'd wasn't messing around anymore, the fact that I'd made her end her little game and killed the 'romance' was not something she'd taken lightly. To reinforce her point she licked her lips as she briefly tightened her grip on my neck. I somehow kept my nerve. Barely. She hauled me to my feet and shoved me towards the table. An inkwell and a well-worn quill appeared before me. A thick, padded sort of paper came next. She gave me one last threatening press against the neck with her stinger before she stepped back, "Well?" I looked at my tools, no backing out now. This would either prove to be the best idea I'd ever had or the last. I twiddled around in the corner of the page for a moment, adjusting to how ink flowed onto the page from the quill. I took a deep breath and, very carefully placed three characters dead center on the page. I wasn't sure if they were absolutely correct but I didn't think it mattered too much...  Satisfied, I stepped back. She was curious, that's for sure. I hoped she hadn't seen Chinese characters somewhere, otherwise some of the intrigue would have been lost... and I needed every advantage right now. As it turns out luck had been on my side. With a gentleness that flew in the face of everything she'd done since appearing in the cave she made her demand, "Explain." I collected my thoughts. "Well. These are characters from another language spoken in my world." She was interested, no stinger up my ass yet either, keep going, "Names in this language are written using characters for everyday words. Poetic, no? You can see what people were thinking when they named their children or... well... you." Still no murderous rage. Come on, bring it home, "These are the characters for 'beauty', 'superiority'... and 'death'." Fuck, fuck, fuck, that last one was a gamble. Don't kill me please. "This name would be read 'Miyushi'." Silence. Well I'd said all that, if I had escaped death this last sentence wouldn't condemn me either, "...and if I'm ever not terrified that you'll kill me in the next five minutes I thought Miyu would sound cute, you know, as a nickname." * I was back in the corner, trapped in the newly christened Miyushi's vicelike grip again. This wasn't something I was all too pleased about, the thought 'gorgeous and terrifying', as much as I tried to ignore it, still had the word 'terrifying' in it. She was soundly asleep and had been for some time. Between the soft feel of her skin on my back, the rush of having survived my gamble and my dread of more nightmares I had contrived to stay awake for a few hours despite my exhaustion. It was a strange thing, having time to churn the repercussions of everything I'd learned that evening with no immediate threat to deal with; my current predicament wasn't exactly safe, to my mind at least, but there wasn't much I could really do about it. Since I'd arrived in this world the difficulty of the situations that I'd been placed in had driven any thought but survival from my head. Now, ironically given that I was still trapped between Miyushi's insectile legs, all of a sudden I had time. Questions without answers bounced around my head, chief among them being: How do I get home?. I'd have to speak to Miyushi in the morning, no point in mulling them over now. Miyushi held the answers to all the questions... ...actually, maybe she didn't. * I couldn't tell how long she'd been asleep... to be fair: I couldn't tell if she was awake and just playing with me, but all at once three of her legs had relaxed. I remained indecisive for longer than I'd like to admit, but eventually, very carefully, I wriggled out. The barest traces of light were eking into the cave. Sunrise couldn't be too far away, if I was going to get away from this creature I would have to do it quickly. As I hoisted myself into the tunnel, my heart skipping a beat with every shuffle, the noise of my movements was seemingly amplified tenfold. One arm's length from the outside I looked back at her. For the little I could see through the cave's darkness she looked... peaceful. I felt a twinge of guilt as I crawled outside. I couldn't understand it; she had given me only the impression of a menacing, potentially homicidal, rapist. Why would running bother me? A sudden flash as I remembered the minotaur's dying screams. It wasn't the same at all. Get it together. * Her little home was in a steep ravine, the ground was still mostly gravel and dust but unlike the part of Kaori that I had seen already a few shrubs could be seen dotting the area. The ravine appeared to vanish uphill, the two steep cliffs on either side closing up and meeting upslope. The only visible exit was downhill, out onto the plains I had wandered for so long. Nervously I tried to secure my robe as I started downhill, cringing as the loose shingle crunched underfoot. I suddenly flushed as the flapping of the silk reminded me how long it had been since I'd taken a bath; how had Miyushi lived with this smell? At the mouth of the gorge, with plains opening up in front of me I went over Miyushi's geography lesson and hoped she hadn't been toying with me. OK, nasty Kaori - South. Scary sounding lizard army of doom - West. More Kaori and some ocean - East. Forest of something - North. North we go. I was skeptical of how much those fruit she'd left me had actually done for my endurance; walking would have been nice, but I couldn't afford to wait around for Miyushi to wake up. I had made a habit of running a mile before gym, back in the days when gyms actually existed in my life, hoping it had paid off I set off just as the first sliver of the sun appeared on the horizon. I felt a growing sense of unease as I trotted away, I couldn't place it. I still don't know what it was, but thinking back it would have been poetic if I'd had some sort of premonition, a sense that in a few weeks I'd be a villain in my own tale. * What do you know? The baby did it, he actually ran. Here I was thinking he'd be nothing more than another body to use up and throw away. He might be some real fun. Fourteen minutes... It took him fourteen minutes to get out. Licking my lips I can almost taste it; that beautiful cocktail of sheer terror and unwilling excitement. Maybe I'd break him fourteen times, maybe I'd even tell him why when I was done. The anticipation in my chest grows as I suck my fingers, desperate for more of that delicious feeling. More. He can have an hour. * I was feeling pretty damn good. I'd run for far longer than I had thought I would be able to. The landscape was clearly growing more verdant; I couldn't look in any direction without seeing a handful of trees and tall grasses growing in large swathes that stretched on ahead of me, pulling me forward with the promise of an end to this nightmare. This place had a talent for taking me down a notch though: as I celebrated my discovery of a fistful of those blue lychees I heard something that made my blood run cold. It was the faintest tinge of sound, so on the edge of hearing that perhaps it hadn't been my ears that noticed it at all. Perhaps something deep inside me felt it, a horrible pain that flowed in on the wind. Creepy as it may sound; the pain wasn't what scared me. Yes, the pain was awful... it was like dying - but so amazing was the pleasure that rode in with it that death seemed a small price to pay. The emotions in the air were crushing, so overpowering they seemed to replace the very air I was breathing. It roiled strangely, the sensation somehow not quite my own. My mind conjured images of naked bodies, memories of sex and climax, as though trying to justify what I was feeling. Unbearable. The foreign emotions washed over me, hedonism and anguish curiously intertwined. Suddenly the sensations vanished, then rose back up a few seconds later. Seven times I felt the same thing. The last wave lasted hours, and was nearly painless. All I felt was delight. Irrationality isn't normally something I subscribe to, I like logic, sense, understanding. As I stumbled on, determined to keep moving even as I basked in a euphoria that wasn't mine, I was sure of something. Never before had I been so sure of anything as I was then: That was Miyushi. Somewhere. And she would be coming. * "Shabel..." The girtablilu closes in. Black as midnight, even the furs she had donned for the fight were deeper than pitch. In her awful darkness there are only three points of light. The glistening liquid that beads at the tip of her stinger, an evil concoction if ever I'd seen one, seeming to vibrate and shimmer. The poison itself hungering for its next victim. The other lights are more terrifying. Worse than the venom that had left all my companions convulsing shamelessly in their armour as Shabel sucked the life from them. Worse than a serum so powerful that my best friend, Erika, had remained slack, her sword unmoving at her side, as the monster, with a deceptively light touch, lifted her helmet and took her life. The other lights are her sick eyes. They grew brighter, more viridescent with every death. They are cruel eyes. "Please, I'm just a hired goon," The lights glitter, my desperation forces my words into screams, "I have nothing to do with Prava! Please!" At the sound of Prava's name her tail whips around, reflexively I bring my shield up, but I know what is coming. It happened to all of them. The thick cords of muscle in her tail bulge as the point comes closer. Venom pours forth freely, unable to resist the force of her swing; just like my buckler. I don't think any steel would have survived much better. Already groggy I look at my arm. "Prava just paid me to come and... she said..." Her dagger-like point had burst through the wood with perfect precision, dead center between the straps that held it to my forearm. She hadn't held back. My arm had shattered, blood flowed more freely than venom. Pathetically, I swing my sword at her. Even if I hadn't collapsed I wouldn't have accomplished much. "She said we'd have no trouble... seven against one..." Deftly catching my blade with one of her pincers she tosses it aside. Worthless. I prepare myself. All the others died the same way: a sting to the chest. They thrashed under her tail as valiantly as any soldier, but I had understood when Erika had been killed... They weren't fighting to live, they were fighting for release. They raked at themselves, reptilian claws leaving vicious marks in their armour as they tried to relieve the desperate aching I was already feeling. Their tails didn't hit the monster out of desperation, there was no intent behind the miserable swipes. My friends simply lost control of their bodies. Just like I would. When that stinger came back I would die just like them; desperate arousal superseding my need to survive. The stinger doesn't come. I open my eyes. The lights are there, inches from my face. "Prava needs to learn that if she wants to kill her little monster she needs a new one to do the job." Shabel presses down on me forcefuly, her tongue digging tastelessly deep into my mouth. The is no conviction in me as I struggle. I feel my armour disappearing. Her claws strip me. She's doing something to my broken arm. It feels tight. Closed off. One hand moves to my breasts and she pinches a nipple, tugging harshly. Shocked by her pitiless assault I recoil at the pain. She pulls back from her kiss and puts that horrible stinger at the base of my chin. "Did I say you could move?" I freeze, but she had already started. The stinger breaks my skin, no longer a weapon, it is gentle and sparing. It lingers near the surface. I feel the venom. There's so much of it. My vision goes cloudy. Everything else sharpens. She kisses my breasts and I convulse immediately. Her tail swings around, the back strikes me across the face hard. "If you move again I will empty every drop I have into you." The impact seemed to bend the world, smearing colour across my blurred vision. I want it. I want all her nectar. Nothing in the world seemed more important to me than more of the sweet drug. I stop myself from moving. If she thinks I did it on purpose she won't give it to me. She'll know. My clit feels like it's going to burst. Please. I buck my hips hoping she would understand my need. The back of her tail pummels me across the face once more, "You idiot. You move when I say you move." I feel two fingers slip inside and I fight desperately against the urge to press my thighs together. He fingers curl as she moves back and forth, with every shift a shock of pleasure blasts up my spine. I'm biting my lip, every muscle tensed to its absolute limit, trying to stay still. Before I know it she isn't even holding me down anymore, yet despite the lack of restraints I remain frozen; as she commands. I feel her hands chasing down my thighs, one moving back up to work on my clit. The pressure intensifies as her fingers develop a rhythm. Her face is pressing into me. I may not move, she said so. Her tongue is smaller than those of my reptilian sisters... but they never had her nectar to help them. Every fold roils as she touches them. She ignores the occasional twitches as I try to keep orgasm upon orgasm back; her terrible vengeance comes swiftly when I fail. A sharp beating that, with my senses utterly embroiled in her elixir, only makes me come harder. I know nothing but the heavenly cycle: tension, climax, punishment. I beg for more. I come, failing her will again. I can feel her seething, preparing to punish my lack of discipline. I spasm, waiting for the dull pain to strike my face and push me further. "You're such a terrible slut." She slaps my breasts open-handed. I gasp at the new pain, unprepared. "How am I supposed to control a woman..." Her fingers wrap around each of my breasts, cupping them perfectly "...that comes every time I try to punish her?" She squeezes. "Do you know how many times you've disobeyed me? Hmm?" I felt her stinger pierce my thigh. "No? See if you can count these then." Her lips tease my clit as I feel the barb again. Oh god. "Count, pet." I can barely speak between my staggered breathing. As the stinger comes in again I rasp, "Th-th-th-th... ree." She licks my clit and move down to nibble at my lips as the nectar floods me again. "F-f-f-f-f-four." I can't hold it, my whole body is shaking as I bear down on the climax. The stinger pierces me again. "Come sweetheart, what number is this?" All I can manage is panicked, strained breathing. "Ha- Ha- Huh-". She presses my face between her thumb and forefinger, "I don't know any numbers that start like that." She smiles. It's coming; that smile means something terrible is coming. "The number?" Her other hand is still rubbing my pussy, one finger sliding in and out. Her thumb unnaturally twisted to stroke my clit. She kisses me and presses deeper inside me. I lose the struggle and jerk beneath her, the ecstasy of another orgasm rolling over me. I taste something in my mouth. Blood. She licks her red lips. I see a crack on the lower one. Oh god. "Such a shame... can't even count." I feel the barb, the nectar is flooding my lips, inflaming them with need. "I don't usually sting people there you know." My will is broken but hers keeps me in check. I still fight every climax. I must not move. Her fingers have been abusing me for so long. I cannot stop trembling. Surely she will release me soon? I am in love with her darkness, her power, but my body cannot hold for much longer. My snatch is tight beyond all reason. Her voice appeared right above my face. Not daring to open my eyes and still fighting back a terrible climax, despite the sudden halt in stimulation, I hear her voice. "Tell Prava her precious shipments will be safe for a while, I have something to attend to." I felt a pain that was magnified beyond measure, my mind twists it into pleasure and I gush instantly, "Here's your reward for being such a good girl." The divine narcotic floods my system one final time. "And tell her I expect better." She vanished. Leaving me a miserable, pathetic mess; alone in the plains; touching myself for hours. She left me in heaven. The devil was kind. |
JPAI27Jan 5, 2015 5:29 PM
| I like the shifted perspective. Still very good, but there is something that seems a bit off. Could totally be personal opinion. The best way I can describe it is that the things that she says don't quite match exactly with what I expect. Basically that her actions definitely give me that murderous, fear-inducing, frightening sensation...but when she speaks I get less of that and more...I want to say "clumsy". Feels like it has to be intentional and based on the personality you have in mind for her because what the MC seems to expect her to say and how she acts matches up with my initial impression. It's just when she speaks that I get something different from her. |
| This is the kind of darkness I want to see more of... And I just keeps on liking that Girtablilu for every new chapter because it's just so SPOT ON! She cruel, merciless and lustful but at the same time she is kind... but only a tiny fragment of kind. :D |
| Oh, ffffff**k. XD (I'll explain it to you later). Still, this chapter was a bit more confusing compared to the previous ones. Maybe you tried to fit too many things when I feel like you should have focused more on basic things. For example I still can't figure out well the MC's personality. On the other side, the dettails in the descriptions were really well done, as well as the change of perspective. |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| @emeraldtryst: Ah no! Clumsy? That's wholly unintentional. Are there any lines in particular that gave you that impression? Perhaps one of the shifts in perspective didn't come off well. @Carn0: Thank you. I will do my best. @SydoKiller: I'll try to put more of the MC's thoughts in, but to be fair I'm not sure exactly how I'd do that. Most of the story is written in his perspective... |
| I am envious. This is one of those stories written so well I can't even come close to such level. |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| @jp - Clumsy isn't the right word...I'm also probably just fried from finals to think of exactly how to explain it right, but I just get a different feel from what she says when put beside what she does and how she thinks. Maybe clumsy came to mind when I imagined her thoughts turning into words. Her words don't seem to carry the same "edge" as her thoughts and actions. It's not bad by any means, more that, likely because of the superb scene detail, I was less scared of the character when she was talking than when she wasn't. Since her presence itself feels so dangerous, the pet names felt almost too affectionate. Actually...going over it again, I think it might just be the pet names that she used. Though, perhaps ironically, "pet" worked okay =P |
| Ah I see, well if it helps any, I imagined her using the names quite mockingly. Imagine being in someone's power like that and being called "sweet cheeks" or "big boy" in a completely unserious fashion, it IS contradictory and that's why it's scary. You're in a life-and-death situation and the monster seems unfettered. She speaks casually as she intimidates, rapes and kills. What happens when she uses your name? What happens when she's angry enough to blatantly insult you? What happens when she isn't calm anymore? That's what I was going for. (I hope your finals are going/went well =D) |
| The story so far: * Chapter 5 - Goodbye Kiss with a Fist I understood why I had felt guilty for leaving Miyushi behind, or rather, I understood that the pang was not really one of guilt, but regret. Regret that I was not brave or stupid enough to stay, and regret that my decision meant that I would have to soldier on alone. Again. The terrifying woman had been the only true company I'd had since arriving here. I was so lonely. Talking to myself while I wasn't running wasn't cutting it anymore. Over the past few days the feeling had grown acute and I felt myself twisting inside every time my imagination ran dry and my monologue thinned. I had been talking about lots of things. Mostly my old life. I imagine that if anyone were listening in they would have felt quite wretched hearing the longing in my voice, the overwhelming misery of having a good life impossibly snatched from me. I felt like my isolation was infecting all around me. The ever-thickening foliage around me had not deigned to produce a single soul to relieve me. Perhaps the monster girls were actually rare and this place was desolate and empty for the most part. I fell to my knees, initially it was a combination of exhaustion and discouragement but it quickly turned to anger. I beat the ground with clenched fists, "WHY!?" I didn't care if I hurt myself, I needed a release, "WHY!?" My roar seemed to carry endlessly, I didn't care what heard me, "How am I supposed to do anything when-" My fists were bleeding, I ignored them, "...I.." savagely hammering the earth, "...have..." I let out my final word as I gave the dirt one last, particularly vicious thump, "...NOTHING?!" My anger quickly evaporated as I felt a markedly more intense pain flower in my left hand. "Fuck." My last punch had hit a gnarled root rather than moist grass. "Owie." Jarred by an unfamiliar voice, I shot back to my feet, clenching my left hand in my right. Where had it come from? "Bells? Is that Bells, Bells?" The voice was high and sleepy but had a very lyrical quality to it. Not knowing how else to react I stumbled behind a nearby tree, hoping that whoever it was hadn't seen me. "Just napping!" The grogginess had gone from the voice and she almost sang the words. The tree I was hugging suddenly shifted, I recoiled as a woman suddenly snapped from the trunk. She had been kneeling against the tree, her tanned skin completely hidden by the bark and moss on her back. As she stood up I realised the 'root' I had punched was actually the wooded bark of her calf. I stared at the strange creature, split in half; with treelike bark on the rear-facing surfaces of her body and the skin and features of a flawless, somewhat middle-eastern beauty on the front. Given everything that had happened on this journey her full-frontal nudity didn't surprise me at all. She looked at me, clearly expecting someone else, "Stranger isn't Bells!" Again she sang the words, not keeping to any tempo, but varying her pitch elegantly as she spoke. "Only Bells comes here; Bells and anyone Bells wants to give to Ásaielle!" She spun around in a circle, "If stranger isn't Bells, then who?" She drew the last word out, playing with it... doing a... scale? Yep, there it was, she'd finished going up, her voice lowered as she stepped back down. "C minor?" I blurted unthinkingly. "Why not something happier?" She clapped her hands and did a little pirouette, "Funny! Yes... not a happy name. See-Minor? Really?" Again the words came on the back of a perfectly controlled trilling. I laughed and shook my head, the slight movement was enough to cause a twitch in my hands and immediately I winced as a spiking pain shot up my arm. She was next to me in a second, her eyes innocent and full of concern. "See-Minor, See-Minor, what's wrong?" I couldn't help but grin at the fact that she had dropped her voice from elegant soprano to a contralto. Very expressive indeed. "I'm sorry, I think I broke my hand when I woke you up." She nodded furiously. I wasn't quite certain that she understood the connection, but it hardly mattered. I noticed that her back and arms had lost their bark-like appearance and that the wood had become a sort of colouring or texture on her now otherwise normal skin. "No problem!" Her high voice was back. It was so strange, the way she spoke-sang; her sentences didn't feel broken or shacked by metre, she articulated at a perfectly normal pace, just playing with the pitch of her words. "Look, look! Ásaielle can fix it!" She hopped around excitedly, I had no idea what was going on, but I wasn't sure it was about my hand. After a bit more prancing she stood still, linking her fingers in front of her chest, palms down. I'd be lying if I said I didn't use the excuse to get a couple of seconds of staring at her breasts in. She pushed her hands down like in one of the eastern calm-yourself exercises or whatever, she breathed in slowly and when her hands reached her hips she started to sing. She wasn't saying anything in particular, not to my knowledge anyway, but after a few notes she had caused a real meteorological upset. My old climatology lecturer would have had a field day with this. The wind was blowing at me, from all sides, converging as though I was the eye of my own personal storm. The girl's singing grew louder and I started to panic when the lush grass began wrapping around my legs. The wind was pressing in on me hard now and whenever I raised and arm or knelt to try get the grasses off it gusted and forced me back into place. The grassy tendrils had reached my chest before I realised what they were doing. I saw a knot forming under the strip of bathrobe I'd wrapped over my thigh, an old injury from my time as a slave. Then I felt the grasses crawling into the abused cracks on my back, the old, never-quite healed marks of the slaver's whips. Finally they balled over my left hand. The singing reached a climax and the wind died suddenly, though I felt as if the last gust had flowed straight into me, invigorating a completely battered body and spirit. The grasses on my body withered and died, but the ones on my hand did not. I watched, fascinated as the vegetation turned into a skin-tight glove that seemed to be made of superfine green thread, wrapped carefully around every contour of my hand. An experimental flexing of my fingers produced no pain. I tore my makeshift bandage off my thigh and saw the old, sick-looking injury was covered by the same material, forming for all the world what looked like a green, threaded band-aid. Pawing at my back I felt much the same thing. Even the soles of my feet, which had suffered long and hard as I stumbled and ran across bare rock and forest had been covered by the stuff. Flabbergasted I stared at the dryad and quickly rushed to her side as she swooned. Her voice was still beautiful even when she didn't have the energy to sing, "See? Ásaielle can fix it." Her eyes closed as she muttered. * Vivified by the girl's magic I resolved to help her in kind. I considered leaving her where she'd fallen and searching for some water but a familiar feeling made me reconsider almost immediately. It had happened once more after the first time, albeit more faintly, and this time it was barely on the edge of my perception, but I felt that electric and arousing connection in the air again. For whatever reason I had a feeling that the faintness didn't mean that Miyushi was further behind, but rather that whatever was letting me feel her victims' arousal, pain and, ultimately, deaths was fading. Quite guiltlessly I was glad that there were things, people, slowing her down. The last time the feeling had come, early yesterday afternoon, it had lasted nearly three hours, most of which I had managed to spend walking. I needed the extra time. Hoping the revitalizing magic's strength would last I hauled the dryad onto my shoulders and walked. The light feel of her skin was heaven. An hour and a lot of rest stops later I found a stream. Delighted that it was running North, in the same direction I wanted to keep heading, the discovery left me in unusually high spirits as I lay the girl down on the bank. I splashed some water on her face to little effect. What now? Biting my lip as I considered my options. I was still sure that Miyushi was after me, my certainty may have been unfounded, but it was certainty nonetheless. If I lingered here, waiting for this girl to wake up I'd lose precious time. On the other hand I really didn't want to leave her. Brown minotaur-eyes flashed in my mind. Fuck. I'd left someone, possibly several someones given the things I'd felt over the last few days, to die in my place already, what the hell did one more matter? Scowling, I stood up and, after staring at the girl for a moment, I turned to continue north. I couldn't take that first step. * I'd made a little fire under a noble willow on the riverbank; taking the opportunity I had finally washed myself and my attire and was relaxing, my back against the willow as I waited for my two lonely items of clothing to dry. The dryad was still out cold a few feet away. I'd checked her breathing a few times but beyond assuring myself that she was alive I really didn't know what else to do. As night fell I took to talking to myself again, neither side of the discussion produced any useful insight concerning the dryad. I was nodding off to sleep when I finally heard a murmur. I quickly rushed over to her side and just as quickly rushed back to the willow, returning with my boxers on. "Hey, hey, are you alright? Tell me what you need and I'll try my best." The girl's eyes crept open. By the firelight I could just vaguely discern a gentle chestnut colour. I wiped a few strands of brown hair off her forehead. She smiled and took my hand, raising the magical glove she'd produced to her eyes and inspecting it. She seemed satisfied and lowered my hand. Straight onto a breast. "Wut." I stared at her, perplexed, thinking that perhaps this meant something different to her than it did to me. She assuaged my confusion when her other hand appeared on the back of my head and pulled me down. The kiss was light and gentle, a tender exchange. I sucked on her lower lip and she giggled, nibbling on mine in turn. I felt her tongue brush against me. Such a polite invitation. I pulled back and grinned, genuinely happy to have found someone so obviously gentle and caring. Her kindness and innocence actually hurt, so stark was the contrast between her and her world. "La-." A single syllable, she chirped it briefly, her lyrical voice back. She was so playful... Singing between kisses... I lay down on top of her, slipping one of my legs between hers as I finally accepted her invitation; locking our lips and exploring each other deeply. That night I almost forgot where I was, I almost forgot that she wasn't human. Sweating bodies writhing against one another, her laughing at me when she discovered how ticklish I was. Experimenting with some positions that simply didn't work and some that lead to new and exciting kinds of satisfaction. It was so perfectly normal. Sure, I'd never had sex on bare ground or in the middle of a forest, but damn I felt like I was back home. Living my old life with a beautiful woman in my arms. I reveled in her perfect breasts and was fascinated by the unique patterns on her back. It was gentle, elegant. We explored each other during every thrust and bounce. I discovered that she was impossibly sensitive to my hands scurrying along her thighs and made her pay for revealing her weakness. Ten minutes later she nibbled at my neck and found the herald of her revenge. She kissed my body, exploring every divot and bulge as I recovered. My mocking protests were stilled immediately with a dignified kiss when she started up again. And so my night continued, as possibly the most beautiful night I'd ever spent with a woman. So liberated and unconcerned with image, we savoured one another over and over. Delighting in the simple joy under a clear sky, with a forest and stream as our romantic music. * I awoke in Ásaielle's arms, her warm brown eyes inspecting my face as a finger traced the outline of my lips. "Sai..." She'd asked me to call her that at some point. Her finger moved to cut me off, "Say it right." She pouted. "Right?" She kissed me. "Say with the colours." I propped myself up on my elbows. The colours? What the... I suddenly remember a lecture I'd sat through so long ago. Synesthesia they called it, when sensing one thing lead to the perception of another in tandem. Maybe Ásaielle was like that, hearing a note and associating a colour with it. "Ha, I can't sing Sai." She looked genuinely upset at this fact, I felt like I had to say something, "But maybe I'll come back one day and play you a song, all I need is something to do it with." She let go of me and sat up, her eyes wide, "Come back? No!" That last syllable was screeching and high, "No! Why is Jean-Pierre going?" I bit my lip and looked away. A small part of me regretted explaining that my name was in fact not 'See-Minor'. A bit of humour before my departure wouldn't have hurt. "I'm running away from something Sai, I shouldn't have stopped here but I felt bad because you hurt yourself helping me." I traced little circles in the grass, "I need to go, I'm sorry." Not waiting for her to answer I stood up and walked back to the willow, pulling my ragged bathrobe back on. "You gave Ásaielle's magic back!" What? Gave it back? She didn't give me a chance to process what she'd said. "Stay... Bells! Ásaielle can call Bells! Bells is scary and strong, beats anything." I started walking, I let the bitterness into my voice, hoping she'd understand, "I can't wait for help, she must be close, I need to go Sai. Sorry." Sai ran in front of me and propped her hands against my chest, "No! No waiting. Look, Bells is here already." She grabbed my arm and wheeled me around. Ásaielle wouldn't let go of me. Regretting her innocence immensely I balled my newly repaired hand into a fist and decked her in the face. I don't know if surprise or pain was what won my freedom but once I had it I fucking ran. |
JPAI27Jan 5, 2015 5:45 PM
| Dawwww... I'm not that horrid am I? XD |
| ...W-what... w-wha... Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-!!!! YOU! YOU ******! XD |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| "So...thanks for the sex. It was so amazing that words can scarcely do it justice. Oh, just one last thing" *punches her in the face* *runs* Just means that the fear overcame any feelings of safety that the dryad provided. Seems harsh, but maybe if you run into something truly epic, she'll be able to convince you (possibly by force) that she can protect you. |
| @emeraldtryst: Well, guess that does make me a jerk like reb said. XD I swear "Bells" was a totally legitimate reason to act like that though. Oath. |
| it isn't easy if you don't wait it easy. |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| Ah, if that's the case...it wasn't entirely clear that "Bells" was the reason for that. Just her comments that they had arrived, she wheeled you around, then...*slam*. I mean...maybe there was nothing and she's just a crazy plant-lady and THAT's why you ran =P |
| talk about a punchline! pun intended. Anyway, not what I expected but... I want to see more of that scorpion girl. :( |
emeraldtryst said: I mean...maybe there was nothing and she's just a crazy plant-lady and THAT's why you ran =P This is priceless, "Wtf is this bitch even looking at? Ain't nobody got time for this." *smack* @beast_regards: I'm gonna assume that meant "it isn't easy if you don't want it easy" XD. Well, you're welcome to think the MC is a damn fool. For now at least XD @tterreb: D'awwww... I only hit her after 'Bells' pitched up. I was trying to talk her into leaving me alone at first. Be fair XD @Carn0: She will be returning, fear not. =P |
| Obviously my error here, I'll try to be more direct in future. I felt it was implied, but clearly not strongly enough. =) Sorry. |
| Aaaaw, man. After such a good text of the beautiful night that you shared with the little dryad, that I've enjoyed so much reading because of how well written was... and you punch her in the face. Sir, you are a heartless monster and deserve to be stinged to death by Miyu =) |
| Angels, they fell first but I'm still here Alone as they are drawing near In heaven my masterpiece will finally be sung |
| @terreb: Dammit reb. I know what you're saying makes sense. XD I don't wanna waste other people's time. I binned two chapters today. How would you have felt if you had put in effort and edited that and then see that I scrapped it? ~_~ @Teraniel: Welcome! Yes, I see everyone's very angry that I hit the nice girl... sorry again. XD |
| So, ladies and gents, I have a few words for you all before we begin today's adventure. Until now you have read 11 408 words of my story and all your reactions have been very positive or constructive. (Yeah, I like numbers, I had to put that wordcount in, it's very satisfying.) I need to thank you all for all the support you're showing. This club really is a lovely community. I might not take criticism well 100% of the time, but please do continue to point out any tomfoolery that bothers you. I cannot improve if I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I do very dearly wish to improve; for my sake and yours! =) Also, I need to pre-emptively apologise. I struggled for hours but, to me anyway, this chapter feels a bit broken and clunky. Recommendations welcome. The story so far: * Chapter 6 - Persons Must be at Least this Tall What the actual fuck? Just my luck: the second person I run into happens to be buddy-buddy with the first. What kind of crazy pairing is that anyway? Sai and Miyushi? Not with a hundred guesses would I have called that. I skittered down a small incline, chancing a look over my shoulder. Sai was still on the ground, reeling from my punch, looking like she might cry. The sweet dryad obviously trusted Miyushi... Bells? Whatever the fuck her name was. Was I really right to fear her or was my dramatic flight from the 'monster' all for nothing? It hardly mattered right now, it was a bit too late to go back. She hadn't come for me yet, she was... laughing? Just before my eyes dipped too far down for me to see her she paused, flashed an evil grin... and blew me a kiss. Gah. The stream flowed eagerly with me, both of us boosted in our own fashion. I envied the water. It was hurrying because it'd had a small hill encouraging it, whereas I was driven by morbid fear. I'm not sure why I was giving the stream so much thought in the first place but a moment later I was giving it a whole lot more. There was a face, a face under the water, watching me curiously. It flowed parallel to me, breaking around rocks and coming back together in the river's flow. "Oh god what now?" My breath was already ragged with fear driving me to sprint rather than jog, I checked behind me again - Miyushi had appeared on the hill's crest. She was too far for me to see her face or even frame her properly but I knew it was her: there were two green pinpricks of light, eyes, seeming to rival the morning sun with their brilliance. The face in the water rose up, out of the main flow. The rushing water seemed to be sucked up to form a head, a neck, shoulders... and cleavage. Even as I ran I had to roll my eyes at how ridiculous this place was. I wished I'd been saddled with Sai from day one, I might even have enjoyed my stay... Apparently curious the face squinted to see what I was looking at. Unfortunately for her a particularly proud, flat rock stood firm as the back of her head crashed into it. I could swear I heard cursing as the body reformed, pulling slightly further out of the water. My pace was slowing, I didn't want to look behind me again. The strange woman, formed from crystal-clear water that rushed in her body as though it were still a mountain stream reached out a hand to me. She had kept pace with me, slowing as I slowed. Reduced to barely jogging I didn't even care what she did to me, it had to be better than whatever the monster was planning. I touched her hand, awkwardly reminded of the famous scene from E.T.. I heard a disinterested voice in my head, "Shabel gets bored easily, she'll kill you if all you do is run." "What? That's it!?" I roared at the stream, the woman had sunk back into the river. Thank for the advice... bitch. Miyushi... Shabel... Bells... whatever I was supposed to call her, was following me very casually from about fifty paces away, completely untroubled with keeping pace. Fine. I stopped at a young aspen, maybe five feet tall, and desperately pulled at it. The soft, loamy soil of the riverbank gave way easily. I looked back. Forty paces. I snapped off branches and kicked at roots. Thirty. One of the roots was refusing to break. Twenty. Ten. I must have looked completely ridiculous, bathrobe rippling behind me in the wind, nervously pointing what was for all my effort, still clearly a small tree at my attacker. I'd managed to remove most of the branches but there was still a particularly think, gnarled root on my end, it made holding the stem beyond uncomfortable. Miyushi stepped closer. I stepped back, keeping the embarrassing tree firmly pointed at her. Left. I stepped accordingly. The hell are you doing, idiot? Don't turn this into a fight. She'll definitely kill you then. Just let the monster rape you, it's just some freaky sex, that tops dying, right? She's a fucking scorpion, no ways. Shhh... you know the rest of her is super attractive, right? I do not wanna get stung. Look at that shit and tell me it's OK man. Don't be like that man... boobs are boobs. No they most certainly are not. Would you put your dick in a gun barrel if I glued some tits to it? ...I don't know... Is the gun loaded? Look. At. Her. Point taken, don't let go of the, uh... tree. You go man. She grinned, "What now, pet? Dramatic stand off for the rest of time? First to fall asleep loses?" I steadied myself at glared as angrily as I could, "Stop." She grinned. "You... damn it... stop mocking me!" She and I both rushed forward and I jabbed at her stomach, surely that would hurt? Even through the furs she'd donned since I'd last seen her? A tree to the stomach couldn't be pleasant. Two sharp cracks rang out through the forest; her pincers had effortlessly cut my weapon into thirds. As she towered over me her stinger flew straight at my face. Reflexively I raised my hands. Sadly, they put up little that could be called resistance. Miyushi pulled back sharply, stopping the point just short. "Now look what you've done, silly boy." She tutted, "This is what happens when you struggle." I couldn't tell what I was seeing. My eyes focussed again. The first thing I registered was a superior smirk, then... It had been a bad couple of days for my left hand. The tip of her stinger had burst straight through my palm. Strangely, there wasn't much blood; mostly a clear liquid dripping from the tip of her stinger. The drops burned my face. "Stop! Knave!" Even reeling from the shock of how severe my injury was I couldn't help but snigger, knave? Miyushi seemed equally amused for a moment. Suddenly her eyes widened and she shot back, yanking her stinger out of my hand as she went. A spear came down, sinking into the ground where Miyushi's human half had been not a second ago. Through a debilitating haze I remarked that my hand was actually not feeling very painful. I debated the possibility that I was just badly put together and didn't have a 'massive trauma' response available to me. Light could pass through my hand but all my brain was conjuring up was a feeble sort of 'slightly too hot water' feeling. The whippings I'd suffered in the mine had been worse than this. I felt heat spreading through my arm... The voice of panic I'd heeded earlier was being silenced. Why fight? Sex would be easy... and fun... The spear's owner had appeared: a centaur, noble palomino, the hair on her human head an unnatural bleached white. I heard another voice, "I do not approve sister. The Old Yew has been clear: we should not involve ourselves in the Girtablilu's business." It belonged to another centaur some distance to my right, this one a glossy black, holding an elegant recurve bow at the ready. The palomino looked at me, "This man is worthy, he has stood without hope of victory against a fierce opponent. It would be a stain on my honour to ignore his plight." The corners of Miyushi's mouth twisted with excitement. The darker one shouted back, "And what, pray tell, becomes of him after your gallant rescue? We have a husband." Had I not been quite occupied with some rather depraved thoughts concerning the fact that the centaurs were essentially always bent over I imagine I would have found the last comment unusual but the foggy arousal that was washing through me had dulled my wit. My attention was ripped from the two new arrivals by a tingling in my hand. The green strands that Sai had left me with had come to life. Like tiny grappling hooks, threads were throwing themselves across the hole in my hand. When one finally bridged the gap thousands of tiny tendrils formed around it. I turned my hand over. The other side had been almost completely covered. Within seconds the skin-tight glove had reformed itself. I didn't know what was happening beneath the surface, but I was absolutely astounded anyway. Once again I flexed my hand without difficulty, remarking that the threads that made up the glove seemed to have lost some of the fullness of their original colour. With my hand's restoration my complacency and arousal was dimming too. Ásaielle had really left me with an extraordinary gift... The centaurs were giving Miyushi some trouble, or so I thought initially. The golden one had drawn twinned swords and was pressing the scorpion back. Miyushi fought economically, her pincers and stinger deflecting the blades. The sound was much like that of metal on metal. The centaur was trying her best to swing at Miyushi's legs, obviously hoping their armour would be thinner but found every thrust and cut stymied. The other centaur had fired off several arrows before her sister had entered the firing line and had now drawn her own pair of swords and was cantering to join her comrade. The scorpion's speed and fluidity was amazing. Even with no weapon of her own she was collected and calm, her body slipped around every single one of the centaur's attacks unfettered. The two grew increasingly vicious, putting more and more weight behind each swing, hoping that even her obviously sturdy pincers and tail had their limits. They made no progress. Swing after swing caught the thick black carapace at useless angles, every thrust was easily smacked aside. The darker of the pair sheathed one of her swords, hoping that a two handed attack would succeed where a flurry had failed. A wicked set of teeth flashed brightly as the centaurs grew ever more desperate. They were going to lose. Four swords against none, they would still lose. "Fuck everything... Run you fools!" I imagine I disappointed the centaurs deeply when I followed my own advice. So much for being brave and valiant or whatever the first one had said. I hadn't gotten far when I heard some thundering behind me. The darker centaur had broken away from the fight was coming my way. "Head west! There is a village not far from here." The palomino followed her sister a few seconds late, galloping toward us, "There is no time for your stubborn pride, sister." Miyushi was in hot pursuit, she matched the centaur's speed, acting, at least I hope she was acting, as though it was the easiest thing in the world. The black centaur wheeled around and halted the scorpion's advance with a sweep of her swords, "I refuse." She grunted between blows, "It was your decision to get involved. You bear him, Hera." The palomino, Hera, wasted no time. She scooped me up, ignoring my frenzied yelping, and deposited me on her back. Now, I had ridden a horse before. I'd had several friends that did show-jumping, dressage, cross-country, that sort of thing, as hobbies. A couple of times, with varying degrees of enthusiasm on my part, I'd been coerced onto a horse and had trotted around a farm or hopped a small obstacle. The differences, as was made abundantly clear to me very quickly, between a centaur and my friends' horses were rather severe. First, centaurs don't make a habit of wearing stirrups, saddles and the like. This is important because bouncing around on a solidly muscled horse at twenty miles per hour over uneven terrain requires an ungodly amount of effort from one's thighs and the occasional, ultimate sacrifice from one's jewels. Second, a well-behaved horse will usually slow down if you're being a retarded fuck on its back. Centaurs do not slow down and compensate by shouting at you, in case you aren't aware of quite exactly how much of a retarded fuck you're being. I wondered if Hera regretted not forcing her sister to let me ride her. I wasn't exactly in a position to ask, I think I would have bitten my tongue off if I'd spoken. The sister in question had taken the role of slowing Miyushi down. The uncanny clash of steel and pincer would ring through the forest for a few seconds, then the glossy black centaur would thunder after us; expertly firing arrows at the pursuing scorpion. Her efforts had kept Miyushi at a comfortable distance so far: whenever the scorpion closed the gap she would be halted by a pair of swords while Hera ran ahead, slowed by her payload. Despite their superhuman effort however, I didn't see how this could end well. Every time I saw Miyushi she still had that complacent and malicious smile plastered across her face. She was toying with us, I was sure. And what would happen when we reached the village? I doubted she would simply give up the chase. Hera's sister broke away from us again as Miyushi caught up. Laughter and screams. |
| Rescue? Or just a large orgy if those centaurs get stung? Slightly different feel here than before, but not bad. I'd assume that something had to snap to hit that poor sweet girl in the face, clearly. Quality is still exceptional so...keep it up =) |
| Your writing is superb, but what I love the most is the "story so far" part. It's most unique, thinking of it many stories should have that. |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| @emeraldtryst: *seriously considers derailing plot for orgy* I do think that would be quite morbid though, considering Miyushi's habit of murdering people when she's done. =/ @tterreb: I eagerly await your return and the coming of said criticism. If you REALLY want I guess I could let you read before I post. @beast_regards: Thanks beast, I personally really struggle to remember what's going on in some of the stories. I even have to keep notes for some of them XD I wanted to avoid that issue. |
| She seems more interested in playing with the MC so...yeah, it would be a little dark, but at least you'd both be having (mostly) horse meat for dinner, right? =P |
JPAI27 said: @beast_regards: Thanks beast, I personally really struggle to remember what's going on in some of the stories. I even have to keep notes for some of them XD I wanted to avoid that issue. Write a summary for mine, so everyone can catch up :-P |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| Well, Semes everything has been said here. And to say the feeling I got from the chatper, That scorpion just semse out of the centaurs leauge. It just dosen't matter how much they try, Miyu still just comes back a few sec later. She's like that unavoideble thing that just can't be stopped. |
Jp said: "The hell are you doing, idiot? Don't turn this into a fight. She'll definitely kill you then. Just let the monster rape you, it's just some freaky sex, that tops dying, right? She's a fucking scorpion, no ways. Shhh... you know the rest of her is super attractive, right? I do not wanna get stung. Look at that shit and tell me it's OK man. Don't be like that man... boobs are boobs. No they most certainly are not. Would you put your dick in a gun barrel if I glued some tits to it? ...I don't know... Is the gun loaded? Look. At. Her. Point taken, don't let go of the, uh... tree. You go man." GOLD. This was freaking gold. I just had to pass this to a friend, he laughed his butt off XD I liked the chapter indeed. I kinda didn't feel all the tension I felt in the previous chapter, but the way the MC reacted here was incredibly well described. Well done. |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| The story so far: Chapter 7 - When I Died "Hera please, you can't help her!" The centaur reared up and twisted sharply, dealing a harsh backhanded slap to my face as I fell off her back. "My beloved sister will not find herself abandoned for petty fear. Remain here if you lack the courage to aid her yourself!" She charged back into the forest, following Miyushi's cackling. Then I felt it again. Pleasure and pain that wasn't mine. I felt the black centaur's excitement and fear. There was a new sensation though; spiritual, nearly divine in its complexity. I 'sensed' the centaur's form; feeling the ghostly awareness of having a horse's lower body in place of my own. I felt a tension in my loins most unlike any I'd felt before. I felt a pulsing, bleeding wound in my left shoulder. It was as though I had been rent in two and now possessed a pair of vaporous, insubstantial bodies rather than one that was truly mine. I stumbled, trying to block the foreign perceptions, the passions and agonies of a stranger. I see it in her eyes: she can feel him. The confusion of unwillingly connecting with another is so unique, I could never mistake that look for another. I force my sting further into the centaur's shoulder, my heart quickening as I feel her succulent flesh tear and will my venom to pour forth. Prava's gift to me, and her own curse, would never cease to delight me. The glorious magic that she had so proudly worked into my poison... Ásaielle's healing may have weakened it... but just like Prava, Jean-Pierre would soon know that quantity can occasionally overcome quality. I grip the centaur's face, observing my plaything. My pet has his own purpose, a path that I shall artfully sculpt for him. This pitiful creature is but a tool to that end. I dig my nails into her face. More. Take more. Her eyes roll back into her head. She gushes uncontrollably even without stimulation; her light clothes adhering to her legs as a sticky wetness floods them. More. Her legs flail uselessly, the only thing holding her upright is my grip, a grip which becomes ever less kind. I can't bear it. I start touching myself as I crush her. Hot, sweet venetian red starts seeping out between my fingers - my nails are digging into her face. Such delectable screams. More. I want your sister to be furious when she finds us. I lick her face and shiver as my tongue roils on her cheek, tasting the crimson on my fingers. More. I fought in vain. Miyushi wasn't hurting me after all; not really. All I was doing was battling the air, struggling to force her cruel visage out of my eyes, pawing at my face to remove a merciless, killing grasp that wasn't there. A tumultuous mix of climaxes shook through me. Most of them were the new, mind-numbing sensations of the centaur, inextricably woven into my own awareness. I felt her throat burning with screams and then heard the same scream reverberate through the woods with my own ears. I tripped and crashed into a small ravine. I hardly felt anything; so intense was the suffering of the centaur. Then, with my mind still bending under that sheer impossibility of sensing two bodies, the broken images I was seeing through the centaur's eyes suddenly sharpened. The centaur was afraid. I was afraid. I saw Hera thunder towards Miyushi, sword raised. She cleaved downward. The scorpion seemed to flow around the blade, her face absolutely ablaze with dark revelry. Oh yes, my pet, please... Enjoy my gift. Her iron grip grew firmer still. She snatched at the centaur's face. Something broke. Hera's sword was moving too fast. Miyushi's hand was driving the black centaur's face toward it. Blade met bone. I felt Hera's strike for a surprisingly long time before everything slowly went dark. My eyes flew open and my hand shot to the side of my head so quickly I actually punched myself. It was glorious; my head was in one piece. Then I vomited. I didn't leave that ravine for the entire day, my vow that I would never let this place make me cry again lay shattered. I relived it over and over. Memories that nobody should have... remembrance of a harsh death. Hera's sword cleaving into the side of my head as malicious laughter hammered my ears. Pause, rewind, play. The pain in my shoulder as an endless torrent of venom drove me insane, a demonic hand cutting my cheeks to ribbons, a golden horse charging in to save me. Then the monster made Hera unwittingly kill me. It got worse every time, every episode brought more and more details. Miyushi tasing my blood, Hera's face twisting as she tried to stop her blade, tried to save me. No. Not me. I never died. Miyushi had made Hera kill her own sister. Again: Sting, struggle, pain, death. Sting, struggle, pain, death. Sting... I suddenly saw Miyushi's face at the moment when her venom had first started flowing into the centaur. There was a knowing twinkle in her eye. She was saying something... I let the memories replay, no longer fighting then, tears streaming down my face. "For you, pet." * Miyushi had made Hera kill her own sister. She'd done it to toy with me. * As night finally fell I dragged myself from my hiding place. I ambled about almost aimlessly for a while. Then I came to a place that I recognised: where Hera had thrown me off to go help her sister. Should I go back? Was Hera still alive? Surely if Miyushi had killed her she would have deployed whatever evil she possessed and made me experience that death as well? So if Hera was alive... she would probably have gone back home... right? Where else was there to go? I trudged in the direction we had been fleeing, wondering how far their village was from here. The moon had crossed about a third of the sky when the trees broke, giving way to a tilled field. I walked along the farm's borders in a daze and found a small footpath that cut through it. The village seemed so peaceful, unaware of the darkness that had come into its forest. I saw rabbits scurrying about in cages, digging, nibbling on lettuce that had been left for them. There was a rooster ruffling its feathers on the peak of a small stable's roof. A horse was sleeping inside. A simple plough leaned against the stable wall. The village's houses were arranged in a ring, the gaps between them blocked by a low, wooden palisade. Outside this ring was farmland, orchards, a pigsty. The footpath lead me to a break in the wall. A diminutive figure was sitting on a fallen tree just by what was clearly an entrance to the village. Her cloak hid anything that the small lantern by her side may have revealed. A book lay open on her lap and she was humming a tune I didn't recognise under her breath as she perused it. I could scarcely breathe, but it definitely wasn't a result of exhaustion. I was dead inside. Miyushi was coming. More people would die, and she would make me die with them; over and over and over. My mind had shut down, my spirit unresponsive to the world around it. The pastoral beauty of the village had elicited no reaction. The sight of another, most likely friendly, person was no cause for celebration. The was no song the world could sing that would stir my heart. My eyes were passing over the girl, still happily reading her book, oblivious to the stranger staggering toward her. Perhaps I was so vacant that the world had decided to repay my emptiness in kind and refused to acknowledge me? I walked up to the girl. Her head bobbed up happily when she finally heard my feet shuffling over the moist earth. Satisfied that she knew I existed I crumpled, no longer interested in maintaining the effort needed to stand. |
JPAI27Jan 5, 2015 6:08 PM
| It's approaching more darker side of the spectrum with each episode. This story will, without a doubt, become one of the iconic ones in MSG. |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| I can now say with good evidence that we got a really skilled writer here, and Miyu is just so evil that she reminds me of the joker. And it's fun to read something dark. |
| @beast_regards: Be fair, we did have one mostly happy chapter. XD @Carn0: Miyushi is definitely has a more than a fair number of "evil" traits, but as we move forward just remember that she isn't a batshit insane psychopath. She may have played a bunch of mind games with the MC when they first met, but she didn't murder him on the spot when she found him and he spent a whole night in her company with only a scratch on his face to prove it. She also, clearly, knows Ásaielle, who from her brief appearance really didn't seem the sort of person to condone senseless murder and violence. Finally, it's worth noting that so far Miyushi hasn't *technically* attacked anyone so far. The seven she killed in chapter 4 were mercenaries hired by "Prava" who had been sent after her. We don't know the conditions under which she encountered those Jean-Pierre felt her kill before he encountered Sai and the centaurs DID involve themselves in the fight in the last two chapters. And to both of you: Thank you for your praise! |
JPAI27Dec 13, 2014 1:49 PM
| Don't you? =P ... And actually, I don't think 'enjoy' is the right word. My guts were twisting when I was editing the section that is written from Miyushi's perspective. |
JPAI27Dec 13, 2014 2:00 PM
| Another good one. =) Only one problem with Miyushi's tactics: they'll only work until they don't. When they stop working she'll either be left with the shell of a person...or a mate that so enjoys pain and/or death that her next nap on the job might result in thumbs being jammed into her eye sockets. "Happy birthday, love! I got you some pain! I hope you like it...I spent hours picking it out." It's like training your dog to attack people that look exactly like you...or something =P |
| You know, I rather imagine Miyushi isn't really after a 'mate'. She could be, who knows? I'm not much further ahead in this story than you are. Seems more like entertainment doesn't it? If you play a videogame until your mouse wears or the game becomes tragically easy and unsatisfying you just buy an new mouse or game. Or go outside. That last one is a particularly interesting metaphor, I think. |
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