emperortopaz's Blog

Apr 28, 2016 8:09 AM
Anime Relations: Queen's Blade: Rurou no Senshi, Queen's Blade: Gyokuza wo Tsugu Mono, Queen's Blade: Rurou no Senshi Specials, Queen's Blade: Gyokuza wo Tsugu Mono Specials, Queen's Blade: Utsukushiki Toushi-tachi, Queen's Blade: Rebellion
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo walk through the arena backstage area.*

Wow, I'm surprised that we didn't get stopped on the way here.

: Certainly, but I imagine that it's because you're lazy.

Perhaps. And for those of you just tuning in we're at the Grand Arena. It's a new part of the Colosseum that Aldra controls.

: New part nothing. I'm pretty sure this “Grand Arena” is just a fancier name for the old section.

So that's why it looks familiar. But to finish we're here to face Melona as she's finally challenged us to a one-on-one battle.

: She challenged YOU. Otherwise a two-on-one battle would seem unfair.

Good point. But at least you're here for moral support.

*Topaz rubs Ririchiyo's head.*

: Hey, stop that! I didn't say that you could touch me!

Fine fine.

*The two continue out to the center. A cheering crowd greets them, and Melona is standing in the middle of the arena. She smirks once she sees Topaz coming out.*

: I'm glad that you weren't so intimidated by my challenge that you ran away. Having you here will at least keep me entertained for a while.

But why are you bothering me?

: That's none of your concern.

I think it is. You DID attack me a lot.

: I just needed someone to play with. And young boys like you and Zettai are so much fun to toy with.

: Careful Topaz! She might be plotting a devious trick!

: Awww, you give me too much credit. But even without a silly trick I can still defeat an idiot like you! In fact, since I'm curious how about you do a blog on me first? Might as well do a great beauty such as myself before you end.

*Meanwhile, up in the VIP room Aldra clenches her fist and slams it against the arm of her throne.*

: That Melona is stalling again!

: She's never been someone who enjoyed listening to rules.

: I hope that she shall not regret asking Topaz to do such a thing...

: I doubt it. Topaz is honorable and wouldn't attack her without warning. However, it does give him time to prepare...

*Aldra hits a few buttons and a microphone emerges from her throne.*

: MELONA! What do you think you're doing? Destroy Topaz this instant!

: Nag nag nag. You never let me have any fun. Even if you are Aldra-sama doesn't mean I have to obey EVERYTHING you say.

: You dare betray me?

: Betray nothing. I respect you giving me a chance, so allow me to take my time.

: *Angry* FINE! But you shall not get any help from me!

: I wouldn't want it any other way!

*Melona turns to Topaz, who has entered the arena. Between them a cloud of smoke appears and a fox demon girl announcer appears.*

: Is everyone ready to BATTLE?!

Oh, haven't I seen you before?

: That's right! I work for Aldra, but only in purposes pertaining to the Colosseum. Hey, haven't I seen you here?

Sure! A few times, no less!

: Neat. *To audience.* Well then, it seems that Topaz wants to do his blog before facing Melona. Hopefully those bloodthirsty members in the audience can handle the wait! But I imagine that the Grand Arena, one of the three new arenas, will be the place for a major battle today!

Wait-three?

: Yes, didn't you know? There's the Grand Arena, the Terrain Arena, and the Forge Arena. But enough exposition. I'm sure everyone knows what we're really here for...

Today's girl is:



Melona
from
Queen's Blade


*The audience cheers.*

Hey! That's my job!

: Let other people announce the girls once in a while. Sheesh...

Fine, saves me work. But as the announcer says let's begin...

Head
Hair: Melona has fairly neat hair. Sure it's pink, but it actually looks really good and fits with her character as well as outfit a lot. Plus I like how her bunny ear-like protrusions look when pink. I'm not a big fan of the Lime green variety in the game books, but luckily she doesn't use that in the actual series. Style-wise Melona is pretty nice too, she has huge wavy hair that looks really pretty. It goes until right above her hips, meaning it's a perfect length. She even has a really nice hime cut too! As mentioned before she has rabbit-like ears that look really soft and squishy, and thanks to her shapeshifting abilities she has a lot of varieties with her disguises. Even including wings in one image. About the only problem is with her sides, but it is a major one. While the sides themselves aren't bad, reaching her chest and making her hime cut look better, I really dislike the fact that her hair ends in hands that are used to support her chest. Barely support at that, and while more of a clothing issue (I'll probably talk about it there too) it's one of the things I dislike about Melona.
Grade: B+

Eyes: Her eyes aren't too great either. While she can change the shape of her eyes, she's unable to change the color. This is a bad thing as Melona has blue eyes like an unfair number of characters in her cast. She also usually has a tarame, which isn't exactly great for my tastes. She also has notable eyelashes, though they aren't too much of a problem. Melona also has flower-shaped pupils. I don't usually enjoy objects in eyes either, but considering the supernatural nature she has and the fact that it's black and actually look like pupils I don't mind too much. Technically I actually enjoy it as it helps notice the differences between Melona being disguised as someone and the person themselves (though I'm not sure if her transformation in Rebellion was noticeable). While she didn't do it in the show, that I remember, she does shapeshift into Cattleya in one official image. While nothing major having a canon shot of Melona, even if transformed, in glasses is nice. It also means that she can form glasses with transformations, though that's just me thinking of my tastes xD.
Grade: B-

Face: Again Melona can change shape here too. Shapeshifters are hard to blog on xD. Luckily Melona is a fairly cute character in her base form and doesn't look bad at all. She does have a fairly sizable nose which I'm not a fan of. She also has rosy cheeks as well as what seems to be lipstick around her mouth. Hmm, combined with the eyelashes it does look like she's wearing make-up in general, but she probably just makes herself look like that as it sorta fits her carefree attitude. Anyway her head looks acorn-like and is framed nicely by her hair. And hey, at least she looks feminine which is more than I can say about Cattleya!
Grade: B

Body
Build: As with the previous areas, Melona can alter her body shape at will. This means that she does not have set measurements, unlike the other characters. That said her base form seems similar to a lot of other characters from the same series, at least the non-loli ones. She does have great legs and butt, the latter of which has a particularly spectacular shot in the second series ending. Really, her butt looks really rounded and soft-looking which is great!She really has an extremely sensual and beautiful body, really, and the series certainly doesn't hide it either. I suppose that I should count her tiny travel-size version when she becomes weakened, but that's balanced out by becoming a giantess in the manga. Overall she has an amazing body and the ability to change it at will makes her even more interesting!
Grade: A-

Breasts: Sadly Melona does not have a perfect body as this is where her problems are. While not too bad compared to some other girls, Melona still has a fairly large chest. It's one of the reasons she should require much more support than her “hands” can handle, pun unintended. Her walk cycle is fairly bouncy from what I can tell, which it probably wouldn't be if she had more support. But the main problem is, of course, that she shoots acid breast milk at opponents. This is a very silly thing and it's brought to ridiculous levels in the first episode no less. You see, Reina presses against Melona's chest and keeps her from spraying. As a result Melona gets huge breasts, to the point of exploding. As this is the first episode I wonder if a lot of people's opinions were judged just based on this poor (if goofy) scene. Speaking of expansion there's also a scene where it's revealed that she was disguised as Ymir through Rebellion. This comes with a scene of Melona returning to normal, starting sadly with her chest. That's also not counting that for whatever reason Ymir can become bustier in Rebellion with a transformation and it's double the horrible surprise. Overall Melona isn't too big, but her problems certainly are.
Grade: C

Clothes: Melona actually does fairly well here. As mentioned before she keeps her chest contained in her hair-hands. It's a very unique look, but due to the lack of support I dislike it. Other than that I don't mind her outfit, which is a transparent pink dress that fits her well. Especially as you can see her butt and she doesn't wear underwear (I think the front is blocked, fortunately). She also has a lot of variety as she can also transform her clothing. First I'll mention the outfits from the specials. First is her pink and white sailor outfit (as the specials are set in a school); while not bad and I like her bow I dislike how she still has her “hands full”, to say the least. She also wears pink panties with it, though they are wedgied up her butt. In the second season specials she seems to wear a black bikini, including top for once! In the Rebellion books she seems to wear a more queenly gown, a shame as it doesn't show her bum as well but I do like how her hands are supporting her chest from below as well as her larger sleeves. As far as transformations go, she has images where she's disguised as Irma, Elina in a leopardess outfit, Reina, Nowa, Tomoe, and Listy and she also disguises as Ymir (as said before). Other outfits include a geisha kimono, a barely-covered catgirl, a race queen with an umbrella, a Chinese dress, a gambler with cards, a maid, and a dragon. Considering Queen's Blade characters aren't known for their numerous outfits, usually at best having two, Melona's great variety is a great thing.
Grade: A-

Mind
Personality: Melona is a servant of the Swamp Witch, the main villain of the series. In particular she's good at espionage, which includes obtaining information and assassinations (the latter gives her the nickname “Protean Assassin” though she goes by “Protean Trickster” in Rebellion). As said quite a bit this is helped by Melona being a shapeshifting slime. That said, even though she's a servant she likes having fun over being obedient and serious. She likes toying around with others, especially in battle. This is because she's extremely strong and her slime-like body makes her nearly invulnerable. She could be described as being a little childish as she has the occasional outburst, but that just makes her more entertaining. She's willing to work with anyone but only if it benefits her. That said, don't call her a “monster” as that makes her upset. Overall, she makes for a good villain but we really don't have much of a backstory and she's relatively simple overall. Not a bad thing, mind you, but she makes for an interesting character.
Playing against her usual roles Melona is voiced by Rie Kugimiya. She portrays Melona's great, flirty personality well and I really like it. It's very seductive as well. That said it does cause some oddness as Rana is also portrayed by Kugimiya (though that lends itself well to one of Melona's disguises).
Grade: B

Libido: On one hand Melona is extremely perverse and sadistic. She's a very flirty and fun-loving girl that loves to tease others (especially toying with her opponents). Not only that but she doesn't have a problem with nudity. On the other hand she does suffer a bit as she really doesn't have a steady pairing. I suppose that Reina may count, due to being her first opponent in the series, but other than that she doesn't seem to have any set pairings.
Grade: B+

Age: Melona sadly has no official age. That said as a slime she likely doesn't age and she has the base figure of a young adult which works well here. Again Rebellion did hurt somewhat with the Ymir reveal, but I already punished her once for that.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 74
Average score: 8.2
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

: WHAT THE?! I was expecting a better score than Zettai gave! What gives!

We do have different criteria, remember. Just because we're friends doesn't mean that we have to like the same things.

: Right. Like how Zettai has good tastes and Topaz is dumb and mamocentric!

Only sometimes! It's not my fault I'm extremely weak-willed...

: Don't worry. You won't have to feel bad for long. Take THIS!

*Melona swings her fist at Topaz, but he barely evades.*

HA!

: Not so fast!

*She changes the shape of her arm, wrenching it back and smacking her fist against Topaz's head. He takes 15 damage.*

: Oh no! Topaz!

Don't worry!

: Did you see that everyone? Melona is certainly using her transformation powers well in this battle! How will Topaz survive? Or will he not? Let's continue and find out!

Take THIS!

*Topaz tries to smack Melona in the back, but the slime girl expands her butt huge. As a result Topaz airbags off it and falls down. He stands up quickly.*

That's one huge tushie! My attacks bounce right off!

: Wahaha! What's the matter? Too distracted to fight?

Nonsense! I will stand my ground with honor!

: Quick, attack her chest! As a busty girl she deserves it!

Great plan! I might not have Rika's latest attack, but getting slapped would probably still hurt.

*Topaz goes and attempts to slap Melona's large breasts. However, she sucks them in and becomes flat chested. As a result Topaz stumbles forward, barely able to stay standing.*

: How foolish. Announcing what you're going to do beforehand while in earshot won't work! Though I do admit that I like this figure. Maybe I'll go tease Zettai with it, as he can appreciate my slim slimy beauty.

That's true, and he deserves all the fun he can get. Unfortunately, I have to defeat you here!

: HA!

*Melona returns to normal off-camera so dumb expansion isn't shown.*

: I've just been TOYING with you. I haven't even used the attack I'm most known for!

Oh no.

: You can't be serious!

We can't show that, this is a clean blog! Er, mostly, I guess. At the very least we have rules about what we can show, and that type of thing is a no-go!

: RULES WERE MEANT TO BE BROKEN!

Rules aren't eggs!

: Who cares, now prepare to die!

*Koto's head takes up half the screen, so that Melona is not seen. However, the assassin shoots her acid at Topaz and his evasion is seen.*

: Wow! What an, er, unorthodox style of fighting... Topaz is really on the ropes now!

: Topaz! Watch out!

What do you think I've been doing?!

*Melona keeps up her attack.*

: Mwahaha! What do you think of me NOW?!

You really ask me that while I'm being attacked?

: Fair point, but if you grovel to me and allow me to hand you over to Aldra this will be all over!

Never. I won't let the villain win!

: Suit yourself!

*Melona starts destroying the ground. Soon there's a large outcropping from the stones of the Arena getting lopsided.*

: Wow! What poor aim! Luckily there's a splash guard for our crowd in such an attack!

*The screen focuses on Melona about to hit the crowd with random acid spray, but magical barriers protect them.*

: But how can Topaz stand to defeat this Vicious Viscous Villain?!

*Topaz's eyes light up.*

Viscous... wait a second...

: Oh? Do you have some sort of idea to fight back? About time! You can't evade all day, and I'm getting bored just being a long-range shooter. Come, give me your best shot!

ALRIGHT!

*Topaz puts his hand in his pants, and the whole arena flinches and boos.*

: REALLY TOPAZ?! Is this the best time for that?

: I know! Weren't you just just complaining about her attack?!

: Don't worry, ufufu. I bet I cause that reaction a lot.

It's not what you all are thinking. And they call me a pervert.

: You are.

Fair, but that's not my intent this time! Melona, take THIS!

*Topaz throws an object at Melona, but she forms her arms together to make a tower shield-sized defense.*

: You fool! I said that I can block any attack!

*However the sound of glass breaking and falling to the floor is heard.*

: H-huh... I'm feeling... funny...

*Suddenly Melona's butt becomes huge and balloon-like. It's at least twice the usual size.*

: What the?!

: What just happened?! We've seen Melona transform before, BUTT this seems caused by Topaz's attack.

That it was!

: I'm not sure how you got my body to do this, or why. I mean, other than looking sexy as all get out, but this doesn't give you any tactical advantage.

That's what you think!

*Topaz runs behind Melona, who turns much slower than normal due to her inflated backside.*

: Huff... Huff...

What's the matter? Why are you... DRAGGING YOUR BUTT?!

: That's not funny! Stop moving so fast too!

Plus your large trunk gives me the perfect target for THIS!

*Topaz throws another item from his pants, and hits Melona's jiggly slime butt. Again the sound of glass breaking is heard.*

: So you've got some more of those things. I'm not quite sure what they are, but-

PPPPRRRRAAARRPPPP

*Melona lets out a huge fart.*

: Oh gag! How smelly and loud!

: You know Topaz, you cater to Zettai far too much.

More like I don't cater to him enough, considering all the problems I cause him. And those aren't even all the problems he has to go through either!

: Hey! Get your head back in the battle. Or I'll defeat you by sitting on you with my huge butt!

As great as that sounds, I can't be defeated here. Though, *cough* I probably shouldn't be standing behind you...

*Melona continues to fart repeatably.*

: Oh come on! They aren't even as bad as Airi's!

*Another voice over the loudspeaker is heard.*

: This isn't the time to say that! Stop embarrassing me publicly!

Right, don't be distracted and keep your head in the battle!

: You don't need to use my words against me! Here, take more firing!

*Melona prepares to “aim” again. Before she succeeds to “reveal” Topaz tosses a third glass item at her. As a result her breasts become so huge they drag, rendering her “weapons” useless.*

: How gross!

You're telling me! But strategically it works.

: Wow! At first it seemed like Melona had the upper hand, but whatever Topaz has been tossing at her seems to be affecting her coloring and body.

: You'll pay for ruining me like this!

I think I have the upper hand here! More mass means I don't have to aim as well!

*Topaz hits Melona while she's distracted. Her whole body trembles.*

Finally!

*Then Melona becomes a giantess, towering over him.*

Wait, no! This should be against the rules!

: Worked for a certain green guy.

: Yeah, but they don't pay me enough to deal with this. I'm outta here!

*The announcer escapes towards the entrance.*

: MWAHAHAHA! Seems your random items have paid off in my favor! Now to squish you easily!

Oh yeah? Remember what I said about mass?

: Oh no...

That's right!

*Topaz takes two more items out of his inventory and throws both at Melona. Even though his accuracy would suffer he manages to hit with both.*

: I can barely feel such tiny specks. You'll never be able to defeat...FFFFWWWRRRPPP-er, defeat me!

*Melona goes to step on Topaz. However, instead she grows a beard.*

: EHHHH?!

*Melona's body then rumbles the entire arena.*

RIRI! HIT THE DECK!

: What?!

No time to explain!

*Topaz ducks behind the outcropping from before.*

: Fine then.

*Riri hides in the entrance to the arena. Just as she makes it Melona explodes with a loud BANG, covering the entire Arena with pink slime. Koto sticks her head out.*

: Er, well... Seems that Topaz is the victor here.

*Meanwhile, up in the VIP room Aldra stands up and walks away without saying a word.*

: Are you not going to say a word for her?

: *Without turning around* Harumph. She got what she deserved. She misjudged Topaz, and put her life on the line. She failed, and failing is not an option for my troops.

: But...

: Oh, and Airi. Clean up that mess. I don't need goop all over my precious Arena.

: But...

*Aldra turns, trying hard to keep from crying and yet a tear forms.*

: Are you going to betray me TOO?

: ... No, Aldra-sama.

*Aldra marches off. Back in the arena.*

*The crowd cheers. Ririchiyo also runs out to Topaz.*

: Congratulations! You defeated Melona! But what happened? What were those items you were throwing?

THESE!

*Topaz pulls out a mostly empty case of vials.*

: Huh?

Remember the potions we got a while ago from Touko?

: Touko... Oh, the invisible school nurse... WAIT! You mean to say that all of Melona's transformations-

That's right! They were the effects of the various potions!

: But I thought you had to drink them for them to work...

Ah yes, but you have to remember that Melona is a slime. As a result any fluid that hits her would take affect immediately.

: Is that why she exploded too?

No, that was potion miscibility.

: Potion Mis-ability?

Miscibility. It means that the various ingredients in the potions worked against each other in such a way that it caused a giant explosion. I'm just lucky that it happened then, as I only have one potion remaining now...

*He pulls it out, showing off the label “INV.”*

: Hmmm, it's fortunate as giving Melona Invincibility would have made her unbeatable.

She'd be a Star, man!

: That was a horrible joke...

: Ahem!

Oh, you're still here?

: Of course. While Melona had you ending the blog as a wish if she won you get a prize as well.

Well then, I wish Melona was-

: We can't do that sort of thing.

Aww. Well then, I guess I just wish for some free time for relaxing.

: What a coincidence then.

*She hands Topaz two tickets.*

: I just happen to have these tickets to an idol show for next week. Why don't you take your girlfriend over there?

: I'm not a girlfriend!

And besides, how do we know that this isn't a trick?

: I'm not working THAT hard for Aldra...

Fair point. And look Riri, it's for a certain Dancing Bolt!

: Eh? Melotta used Thunderbolt?

Close, but not quite... But anyway, thanks for this prize.

: Welcome, thanks for the great battle. I'm sure that the fans enjoyed it!

Indeed. But it seems that this is where the blog ends for this week. Join us next time!

Posted by emperortopaz | Apr 28, 2016 8:09 AM | Add a comment
It’s time to ditch the text file.
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