ZettaiRyouiki's Blog

Back to ZettaiRyouiki's Blog

WARNING: BECAUSE OF REASONS I MUST TELL EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 TO GET OUT OF MY BLOG! OBEY OR I’LL BE DEFENESTRATED! ALSO BE WARY OF WILD ROAMING SPOILERS! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

Welcome back. Last week we got our faces rocked by Vita and Signum, but it turns out they’re pretty okay girls and Mary betrayed their asses because she isn’t. Now we have to save them because everyone loves escort missions.

: <We aren’t useless, just outnumbered! Give us competent partners and we’ll kick these monsters of the week’s asses!>

: <Right as we, well, roughed up your allies a tad too much.>

Fine, fine. Time for Rei, Kirihime, Tabitha, Zessica, Takane, and Kodama!

: Sorry, but Takane is not available.

Hope she didn’t get angry because I was a bit disappointed with the Idolm@ster movie.

: Nah, but she had a lot of ramen and...

...is locked in the toilet?

: Ew, no. She just fell asleep.

: So we need someone to pilot the last Vector or we’ll be sitting ducks.

That’s a problem... Most of the girls either have no pilot training or are used to their own mecha... And I must captain this thing...

???: LEAVE IT TO ME!

Who said that?

???: Look lower, idiot.

Oh... Oh! *lowers his head to see Suigintou talking to him*

: I can handle this! Not that I really want to help you... But to be honest, I want to kick Mary’s ass! And besides, I feel like a mother of a pilot!

Then I guess you can try it. Just put a few books in the pedals so you can reach them.

: I doubt it has pedals since it’s not a Walker Machine! (Ugh, I spend too much time with Zettai...)

: See you! *runs off with the other Aquarion pilots, who then launch alongside the other girls*

: <Zettai, since you did Vita’s last blog last time do mine now. I feel that can help.>

Sure, why not. Time to talk about...



Head

Hair
Signum has pink hair. Topaz isn’t big in pink hair but likes her anyway, much like I like Fate despite my feelings on blondes. I like pink hair, and Signum’s is a beautiful shade, as pink hair is one of my few exceptions to “dark hair is best” rule. Her normal hairstyle is a really long ponytail, long enough to reach her waist so when her hair is down it can cover her butt; thankfully it doesn’t as one Dekinai was two too many. She also has a French braid, and she keeps both it and the ponytail up with a long thin yellow ribbon. Her bangs are very typical, slightly framing her head and with a bigger bang between her eyes, though she oddly also has “Son Gokuh bangs” in that one side of her hair sticks out more and said side changes depending on the direction she’s facing; that doesn’t really work in three dimensions. She also gets a small tuft of hair always up, though it’s not quite an ahoge. The few times her hair is down she gets two long and slightly wavy bangs coming from the sides of her face, I guess they were the ones forming her braid. Finally, when she Unisons with Agito her hair becomes a salmon pink shade; you’d think red-haired Agito would make her hair darker instead of lighter, but what do I know about colors.
Grade: B

: I’m glad Topaz doesn’t mind my hair. *smiles*

<Of course, when there is love such things don’t matter!>

: Love... *flusters*

: <Riri will have to clear a pool of blood... caused by nosebleeding.>


Eyes
Last blog I said Nanoha abused too much of grue eye colors and Signum is no exception to this, though in her case is pretty bad as personally blue and pink don’t go too well together and 90% of Signum is pink. At least they’re otherwise nice as they’re a great tsurime that suits her perfectly, and they look a bit thinner when she’s in serious mode so even better! Signum also has a saving grace in Unison mode, as her eyes become a personally better PURPLE shade! Shame she rarely has them this way, but still.
Grade: B+

Kowainaa: Kowainaa! *a chandelier Kowainaa smacks Rei around*

: You should be hanging a rich old man’s house...! *fires her butt-holstered gun at it, but does nothing*

Kowainaa: ...! *fires energy bullets as Rei*

: Urgh! *dodges barely* Well, if bullets don’t work... Take this! *throws a spoon at the Kowainaa, dealing 9999 damage and defeating it instantly*

Kowainaa: Kowainaaaaa! *blows up, the Despair Mask flying off*

Body

Build
This is a bit complicated, mostly because this is a homage blog for Topaz and he has wildly different preferences here. I’ll try to not rant much for his sake. Anyway Signum is like Vita last week and lacks real measurements, joy. Her height seems to be a bit above average, besting Shamal slightly and being over a head or so taller than Vita, though Zafira beats her. Her size fits her personality, that’s good. Her legs and most of her body aren’t too bad either, pretty cool. Sadly the problems arise from her chest, as not only it’s large or even perhaps the largest but the series likes to emphasize it. She might be no Sena, but between a transformation scene only showing her nude upper body when all other girls show their lower body, a Sound Stage Drama CD with Vita caring about chest sizes and a certain stupid official image it’s hard not to feel they want to sell Signum’s chest a tad TOO much. It got tamer in recent media, but not entirely. The official image in question is an A’s one where Hayate happily fondles Signum and Shamal’s chests: It’s ridiculously out of character for her to do that and it clashes with the style of the series and its fanservice even for official art standards. Its opposite is the Daimidaler pic with all the female cast but Ritz mooning the camera. Fanart doesn’t help either, but thankfully she’s not like Sena or Nodocow who hog fanart so she’s not terrible at least. Plus being fair Signum is based on the bustiest girl on a busty cast, so not surprising. Overall Signum is not bad, but I’m not big on girls whose main trait is having large breasts and get this favored. I tried to not be very harsh in my review as Topaz loves her and her chest, and after all you could do much worse than her.
Grade: B-

: <And yet you gave me a picture that shows my chest...>

Because Topaz would like it. Normally I pic images that don’t show breasts.

: <You should’ve continued doing that!>

: No, he should not... I want that girl’s delicious soma... *stares*

: <Hey!> *covers herself*

Butt
Sadly, since Signum is the busty girl she barely shows her ass, since Japan thinks big breasts have priority over everything else and if you have them they’re the only part that matters. Most notable in StrikerS where Vita and Shamal have buttshots when they do a transformation but Signum doesn’t and in fact other than her boots her entire lower body is ignored; that’s just swell, Japan. Okay, so Vita and Shamal’s buttshots go too fast, and it’s not like they couldn’t show them as Subaru had a great close-up of her ass, but still. Anyway, luckily for Signum salvation came with ViVid and Force finally not being useless and giving her buttshots in official art! Only one each, but they’re both good: ViVid shows her bare ass looking nice and Force shows her in a pink bikini and looking GREAT. But alas, Signum is THE breast girl of the franchise and it shows; good for Topaz but not so much for me as you might guess!
Grade: C

Uzainaa: Uzaiii! *a train Uzainaa rams at Kodama*

: Trains must be vanquished in this manner! *grabs the train Uzainaa and suplexes it just like that*

Uzainaa: Uzaiiinaaaaaa...! *blows up in yellow spirits*

Nakisakebe: Nakisakebe! *a power shovel robot-like monster tries to grab Kodama with its shovel, but she gracefully dodges it*

: I won’t lose to someone like you! *the Nakisakebe shifts its left hand to a spike and causes a fissure on the ground with it, making Kodama fall* Ah...!

: Dramatic entrance. *swoops down with her wind magic and pics Kodama up, making sure to match her falling speed first despite magic*

: I’m thankful... I guess... *looks to the side and blushes*

: You remind me of someone. *casually freezes broken the Nakisakebe*

Clothes
The costume most associated to Signum is her Barrier Jacket, though official art rarely uses it for some reason. It consists of a pink small jacket matching her pink weird-ass frontless skirt, a pink dress with the bottom looking like a loincloth so she can fight properly, a black miniskirt under her dress, a belt to hold up her weird frontless skirt, detached sleeves with bridal gloves ends, steel wristbands and matching boots; sadly she bares her legs, a terrible move. The pink becomes dark blue when she Unisons with Agito. She has a few casual costumes that are cute but nothing special aside from some pantyhose, and in StrikerS she wears a uniform like Vita’s; it consists of a brown jacket with a white shirt, A NECKTIE, and a matching tight brown skirt. Thankfully, unlike Vita she’s tasteful enough to cover her legs with pantyhose on it! Official art costumes consist of a yellow bikini, a pink and purple one-piece, a “moe shirt” or just a shirt and panties, a really ugly dress with a lot of cleavage and no support, a purple bikini with a sports bra top, another bikini with a frilly top and a side-tied bottom, nude, towel only, Rein’s black sleeveless dress, yet another purple bikini as she has too many of these, a dark blue and white version of the military uniform, a purple yukata, a white one piece because, and a miko costume though sadly hers has cleavage. Still, good choices!
Grade: B+

: Wait, why did you emphasize the necktie and not pantyhose?

As a Topaz homage.

: He likes pantyhose too.

But he likes neckties more.

: <I’ll wear one for him every day! Not the same each time, of course, he’s not like you with that.>

I don’t like sweaty breasts either. Gross!

: <Then I won’t show you my sweaty flat chest!>

Show me your sweaty loli ass instead!

: <Can we focus on the situation at hand...?>

Mind

Personality
Unsurprisingly Signum and Vita have the same backstory and very similar story, but in case you forgot here’s a quick recap: Signum and friends protect the Book of Darkness and its owner Hayate while trying to fill it with magic cores, Nanoha and Fate kick their asses while befriending Hayate, everyone becomes BFF at the end and Signum finally works raising new mages. The only differences are Vita was Nanoha’s rival and is in her team later while Signum is Fate’s and is in Fate’s team. Also their role in the final StrikerS battle, but both are “do important stuff, but not TOO important” so big deal.

Personality-wise they’re quite different though, as while Vita is passionate and childish Signum is mature and level-headed. Not quite the “mother” of the team as that’s more Shamal, but more the awesome oneesan. She’s what Topaz calls an “honor blade” or a noble swordswoman as the term implies. In battle she uses Lævateinn, a hard to spell sword she kicks ass with, separates like a chain Ivy-style, and can turn into a bow for her strongest attacks. It’s about as realistic as the concept of meganekkos improving without glasses, which is to say it isn’t. But it’s cool, so no one cares. Also, as I have mentioned before Signum is based on another character: Lamia Loveless from Super Robot Wars. Both women share a VA, a personality, a battle style sort of and a large chest. The battle thing is mostly Lamia’s mecha, Vaisaga a bit and Angelg more so. Lamia is a robot and she got her speech program damaged at the beginning of OG2, if someone wonders why she randomly speaks funny. Anyway, the short of Signum is she’s a pretty cool young woman, but not my kind of girl. Still, she IS awesome, and deserves respect!
Grade: B

: Sounds like you still like me.

<Not as much as Topaz, but I do. To be fair I have a bias for the Nanoha franchise, but still.>

: Thanks for the appreciation, I think!

Negatone: Negatone! *a carved pumpkin Negatone fires seeds like bullets in a recurring manner at Vita*

: Owowow! At least it’s not four heads shooting at once!

: Vita! *dramatically slices the pumpkin Negatone in half with Lævateinn*

Negatone: Negaaaa...! *blows up, leaving a note behind*

Akanbe: Akanbe! *a chestnut Akanbe suddenly drops on top of Signum*

: OWWWW!

: GIGANTFORM! *sends the Akanbe flying with Graf Eisen*

Akanbe: Akanbe...! *explodes, leaving a Décor behind*

Libido
Signum is in the same situation as Vita of not having an official couple or a love interest. Much like Vita too she’s paired with Hayate, but Shamal and Fate also are common targets of Signum’s affection. She also gets sweet straight shota fun with Erio fairly often, and unfortunately she also gets images of Cypha from Force abusing her. Also official art of her nude or in swimsuits or similar never has her flustered or having a problem with showing her body off, which is always a plus.
Grade: C+

: Why would I have a problem showing off my body?

: Because you have lots of needless fat! The size of one’s chest is inversely proportional to the size of one’s heart!

: Vita, that’s cruel!

<And wrong! The heartless ones aren’t those with big breasts, but those that care for them and nothing else! Unlike Topaz, who is awesome and likes a lot of things! In no small part because I won’t stop insulting the things he likes...>

: <Don’t worry, Riri told me he knows you mean no harm.>

: <I didn’t say anything.>

: <Riri, not Ruri.>

: <Ah.>

Age
Signum, like the rest of the Wolkenritters, does not age and thus will always retain this appearance which is nice. It’s not as good as Vita the eternal loli, but it helps. MAL says she’s 19 years old in A’s and increases her age with each season, but that’s incredibly stupid.
Grade: B+

: This time we’re going as the Spada form, so I’ll be the main pilot!

: We won’t be using my Element? I came with a new way to open holes in the butt area of my suit!

: Save that for another blog not aimed at someone not into that!

Zakennaa: Zakennaa! *the famous spotlight dragon Zakennaa rams at the Aquarion, though it blocks it with its shield*

Desertrian: ...! *a pawn-looking Desertrian slashes at the Aquarion from the back, then follows up with eye beams*

: Argh! That does it, I’m opening a hole!

: If you do I’ll plug it with my feathers!

: Stay calm, even outnumbered we can win. First let’s focus on one of them.

: You’re the oldest of us for a reason, Miss Kirihime! Great thinking!

: Grrrr...! Though I remember a move from a manga I read as a kid, it might work somehow! JANKEN! *hits the Zakennaa with the Aquarion’s open hand, then pokes NOT ITS EYES AT ALL, and finally punches it*

Zakennaa: Zake? *is hurt, a bit*

Desertrian: ... *covers the Zakennaa by instinct*

: Now time to finish you up thanks to my Element that lets me cut anything!



: QUEEEEN SCISSOOOOORS! *turns the Aquarion’s regular sword into a giant pair of scissors, which she then cut the Zakennaa and Desertrian at once with*

Desertrian: !?!?!? *blows up, leaving a gem with a flower inside it*

Zakennaa: Zakennaa...! *bursts into little star-shaped beings called Gomennaa*

Gomennaa: Gomen naa gomen naa.... *they scatter*

: Not something I say often, but good work!

: Yes, that attack was CUTTING EDGE!

: ...

: ...

: What?

Voice
Kaori Shimizu has done a decent variety of girls included several KDEGs, so it’s not a surprise her voice matches Signum well. Of course it helps Kaori Shimizu also does Lamia Loveless from SRW, the character Signum is clearly based on! Somewhat infamously both Lamia and Signum nearly died in sequels to establish new villains as powerful, though thankfully both girls stood strong and got better.
Grade: B

Total: 69 (B-)

: That’s an interesting number...

<Hey, not like I picked it on purpose. Hopefully Topaz won’t mind I scored you 19 points lowers he did...>

: I’m sure he likes you reviewed me to begin with. And that you managed to stay fair.

<I tried, but “not complain about everything” feels off for me.>

: I can understand that! *suddenly the radio Selfish jumps at her and Signum*

: Oh, there is one left. PHANTOM PHOENIX! *turns her sword into a bow and fires an arrow with it; it turns into a bird of fire as it soars the skies, crushing the Selfish instantly*

Selfish: <This is a... message from....> *blows up*

: We’re done, hooray!

<Excellent! Come back here! We need to discuss things>

: Can it be in another blog? This one is getting long and there is something more important to cover.

Okay, just come back!

: Yes!

(Later, inside)

So, why did you decide to help us now?

: Well...

(Flashback)

: Hmph, strange... No one is watching over me, when it should be that ramen-loving idol’s turn... Maybe they all went to play bingo. I’ll go check. *jumps off her bed and flies off in a random direction... only to run into something really, really soft* Who left a pillow on here? *looks better to find out she ran against Takane’s fat ass* Oh, here she is.

: Zzzz...

: She fell asleep standing up? What a weird girl... *notices Takane’s personal signal light flashing* Looks like Zettai and his merry band of fangirls need Takane, but she’s not waking up...

: Shijou! Shijou shijou! *waves at Suigintou*

: Hmm, what do you want?

: Shijou! *throws a piece of paper with “Piloting” written on it at Suigintou’s face*

: Sorry, but I’m not going to help these people. It’s not that I care for Eagle; I just have no reason to get in this mess.

: Shijou...

: No, I’m not changing mind. Now don’t call me unless little Timmy fell in the well.

: Gin...

: D-D-Did you just call me by name? Pet form, but...

: Gin! Gin gin! *jumps while circling around Suigintou, like a dance*

: Argh, fine! I’ll do it! *dashes off*

: Shijou! *does the Won the Argument Pose*

(End Flashback)

: And that’s how it happened.

You really got a faceful of Takane’s ass? It’s really soft, right?

: ...I should have omitted that part, bet you didn’t listen to the rest.

I did!

: I did as well. Thanks for your noble efforts, Suigintou.

: Hmph! Least I could do! *looks tsundere*

: Hahahaha! *everyone laughs with her*