emperortopaz's Blog

Sep 19, 2013 12:52 PM
Anime Relations: Namiuchigiwa no Muromi-san, Namiuchigiwa no Muromi-san: Pangea Chou Tairiku no Muromi-san
This is the Two-hundred-and-fiftieth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. Today we have a special treat: I'm going to the beach!

Riri: But it's raining out...

I don't mean in real life, I mean within my blog.

Riri: ... That's confusing. But wait right there.

*Ririchiyo goes into the next room to change into her swimwear. She returns wearing a school swimsuit with "Shirakiin Ririchiyo 7-1" on it, googles and snorkel, and an inner tube.*

Riri: I'm all ready! I can't wait to swim!

Sorry Riri, I only said that I am going to the beach. You'll have to wait here.

Riri: Awww, why can't I come TOO. I mean, GOOD! I didn't want to go anyway! Harumph! *crosses arms*

Listen Riri, I'm not going for fun. It seems that the next Elemental Breast Lord is waiting for me there. Presumably she's the Breast Lord of "Water", which would make sense.

Riri: But Kimi told me to ready myself for a major battle! What if I'm here and you get in trouble?

You'll just have to trust in my skills as a summoner and fighter...

*Riri starts rubbing her DFC against Topaz's body.*

Riri: *sniffles cutely* Are you surrreee I can't come?

*Topaz is flustered.*

Riri: Oh? It seems that the DISGUSTING PERVERT rises again! Maybe I shouldn't go to the beach, I don't want to be seen with such a PIG like you who gets big from loli bodies! You SLIME!

Uhhhh, I have to go do blog now!

*One cold shower later*

*Topaz runs past Riri.*

Okay, bye now! *shuts door behind him.*

Riri: *sighs* Even being dommy won't let him ask me for help. What does he think he is? A Pink Cure? Anyway, I suppose that I should do something in the meantime. Maybe I'll have tea with Rika again...

*One trip to the beach later, we find Topaz fishing off a dock.*

Well, this is where the note said to find her. Hopefully she shows up soon, it's September so the beach is empty and fishing is boring.

*Topaz hears a loud "WHUMP" noise behind him. He turns to investigate and sees a very busty blonde girl trying to get up on the dock from the side. He walks over and offers his hand.*

I'll help you up!

????: I'm fine, I was only getting your attention!

But aren't there better-

*In mid-sentence Topaz realizes that this girl is actually half-fish, or what is commonly called a mermaid.*

I thought I recognized you! You're Fuji-san!

Fuji-san: Kukuku. So my reputation proceeds me. But not only that, but I'm ALSO the Elemental Breast Lord of Water!

Er, really? I mean, I get that mermaids live in water, but it's not like you have any skills at fighting like the past two. If anything, I'll call you useless compared to them.

Fuji-san: My breasts are NOT useless!

I didn't say your breasts are, though they probably do contribute a lot to your overall body. Both weight-wise and personality. But I'm getting ahead of myself, it's time to start complainingdoing my blog on you!

Today's girl is:



[url=http://myanimelist.net/character/80207/Fuji-san[/url]Fuji-san[/url]
from
Namiuchigiwa no Muromi-san


*Fuji-san pants as she climbs up the dock and gets into a sitting position.*

Fuji-san: Well well, I suppose that it is far time that the world gets to know my beauty.

Nonsense, it will be more an advisory tale. As for that pose...

*Topaz pushes Fuji-san back into the water.*

Fuji-san: Hey! What was that for! It was hard work getting up there.

Hey, I'm not the one whose obsessed with having mermaids keep their tails "beautiful" and keeping them from getting on land!

Head
Hair: Fuji-san's hair is about average or so. I do like how it's longer, going about to her waist/tail or so. Her bangs are also nice, and the sides even go all the way down her face. She also has some hair hanging in front of her face, meaning that her bangs can be considered long as well (though they are not a hime cut). The hair color isn't preferred as she's a blonde. They could have set this up for either ojou tropes (by giving her drills) or as a "foreigner" mermaid, however that would work, due to her blonde hair and blue eyes. They didn't, as you can easily tell. Finally, most of the mermaids in the series also have some sort of hair decoration, and Fuji-san's are her two clam shells on each side of her head. I don't know how they stay on, but she's usually wearing them. At least, I think they're clam shells (I'm not good at identifying marine biology. For all I know they could be mussels. I know she's bound to have "muscles" for another reason, but I'll get into that later.)
Grade: B

Eyes: Fuji-san doesn't have great eyes. You can sort of tell that this is a comedy-based series as the girls don't look "right". Not that I mind silly animations sometimes, but Muromi does tend to look "cheaper" unfortunately. Anyway, art style aside her eyes are large and oddly shaped. I don't know, it's like they don't sit at the right level or something, but I don't like them. There's nothing TERRIBLE, but I don't like them. They are a blue shade, as said before, which is fine but it doesn't fix the shape problem. I will mention that she has a nice tsurime as the tops of her eyes bend inward, but then the bottoms are rounded (for her cheeks). Lastly, I don't like all the eyelashes but again that's a thing with most of the characters on the series.
Grade: C+

Face: The series at least allows a playful art style with faces. They're even puni-shaped like I usually like. I say usually because, well, again Muromi seems to be cheap. The character's eyes seem lower and so their lower faces are squished. You can see this with Fuji-san as her cheeks seem to overlap her eyes somewhat. Speaking of her eyes, vertically they are larger than her lower face. However, she's not without her pluses. As said before I do like her cheeks, as squished as they are, and the fact that she has a small nose is always nice as well.
Grade: B

*Suddenly, Topaz is hit by a blast of water.*

Hey! Stop spraying... me?

*When he turns to scold Fuji-san, he realizes that she used her breasts to shoot the water at him.*

Fuji-san: Fufufu! Take that! They don't call me the Elemental Breast Lord of Water for nothing!

Yeah, but with my defenses that's little more than an annoyance. You're going to have to find something better!

Fuji-san: Curses! Just you wait, landwalker!

Body
Build: Oh man, we're getting to the ugly part now...

Anyway, as you can tell, Fuji-san is a mermaid. If you have no idea what that is, it means that she's half human and half fish. Her bottom half is a fish, in particular. Unlike a few other mermaids I've done, Fuji-san is not able to change into a bipedal form. Unfortunately, this also means that legs, butt, and, well, other areas get terrible points in my eyes. I will say that at least she can bend her fin at the "knees" so she can sit on land without looking even more ridiculous. She has a somewhat nice waist, but it might also be too thin (especially considering what she has to hold up, but I'll get into that in the next area). Unlike the other girls, her fin is pretty bland and without much decoration. She also has "fins" on her forearm, the area between her wrist and elbow (though she still has a hand as well). It's possible that they're razor-sharp (as other mermaids in the show have that ability), but Fuji-san hasn't shown off that ability. Overall, for a mermaid she's not too bad (yet), but by default they also score poorly since they're missing so many things I'm looking for.
Grade: C

Breasts: And here we are. I'm sure that people were looking forward to this. After all, Fuji-san is the Elemental Breast Lord of Water, so she MUST have large breasts, right? She certainly does. When they're not moving, they don't look too bad. HOWEVER, they are actually extremely terrible. The jiggle physics mean that every little part of her breasts jiggle in a jelly-like fashion that makes her breasts look extremely fake. SHE BOUNCES WHILE STANDING STILL, HOW DOES THAT OCCUR! Like they were trying to show the elasticity of her body, but it's overdone and exaggerated to the point where it's disgusting. I've heard people say that the breasts look like Hoods quality, but even THEY wouldn't make breasts that look like this. They do over-exaggerate as well, but that's a different point. Not only are Fuji-san's breasts overly bouncy, but they're STRETCHY as well. I understand that skin has some give to it, but that doesn't mean that you can pull a girl's breasts to the point where they're nearly horizontal! I can compare Fuji-san's chest to SILLY PUTTY it's so stretchy at times. There's a moment were she nearly hits herself in the face with her chest by bending over! Not only that, but having big breasts is also detrimental to her. As her introduction states, she suffers from stiff shoulders and has to suffer far more water resistance than the smaller girls. Overall, Fuji-san's "air bladders" are only good as a flotation device! Finally, this probably wouldn't be as big of a deal but nearly EVERY, and likely EVERY, appearance she has usually involves Muromi (the main girl) somehow abusing Fuji-san for her large breasts. From stretching and yanking them to slapping and even rubbing a sea urchin on them, it's like Fuji-san only exists as a one-track joke. By all means, I feel GENEROUS giving Fuji-san the score here she has!
Grade: C-

Clothes: Sadly a mer"maid" has nothing to do with underwater servants in cute outfits. Fuji-san's main outfit only involves a red bikini top. She has no need to cover her lower body (as it's a fish's body). It's a bit better than most of the other mermaids in the series, if only because it has straps. That said, it doesn't even cover the lower part of her chest and I doubt that it's enough to support those flabs of blubber she calls breasts. She needs something more supportive, like a back brace. Then again, I have no idea what it's made out of as it seems to have existed as long as Fuji-san has. It must be very durable to have existed in dinosaur times. Who knows, maybe it's a fancy algae-bra (I'm sure everyone was expecting that joke). She also has a triangle necklace that seems to bring even more attention to her breasts by pointing to them. The only "alternative" outfit Fuji-san wears is a towel draped over her shoulder (yet surprisingly it offers the SAME support as the bikini top. I don't understand either).
Grade: D

Fuji-san: OH NO!

*Topaz turns down towards her.* What happened?

*Topaz sees that Fuji-san has an octopus stuck on her chest.*

Fuji-san: Dear me, it seems that my large breasts have attracted predators! And the beast is gripping my ample, bouncy bosom in its tentacles! If only an internet blogger was here to rescue me!

*sigh* Get someone else to help...

Fuji-san: But you'll be able to brush your hand against my breasts!

Eh, I'll survive!

*Topaz turns his back to Fuji-san and on his blog. She manages to pull off the octopus surprisingly easy and flings it away.*

Fuji-san: Grrr, I'll get you next time!

Mind
Personality: Fuji-san could have been a cool ojou or foreigner character. That would have fit both the comedy of the show and the appearance she has. Instead, all of the jokes involving her are about her breasts and her other personality trait which I'll discuss in the next topic. And really, that' s her ENTIRE personality! At least as far as the show goes. I guess she's overall jealous of Muromi, but again that's just either due to having a more manageable chest or the next topic. There's really nothing I can put here. It's not that she's bad or does any annoying things herself (personality-wise, I mean), but quite frankly I've seen girls in hentai better developed than Fuji-san...
Grade: C

Libido: The other point I was bringing up in personality is that Fuji-san seems to have a love-hate relationship with Muromi. She became obsessed with Muromi's beautiful tail, but all the years Muromi has spent on land has ruined it. Because of that, she forbids her friend to go back on land. Then, Muromi somehow abuses Fuji-san's breasts (as you know, they're a big enough target). Sometimes I think that she's a masochist, but later in the series she certainly IS. Muromi starts abusing Fuji-san's tail, pulling it apart so that they'll have similar tails, but the whole time Fuji-san is moaning VERY erotically and nearly climaxes right before another character orders Muromi to stop. I don't have anything against same-sex relationships, but I really don't like masochists (partially because that's the side I'm on too).
Grade: C

Age: Mermaids in Muromi seem either to be eternal or live a very, very long time. This is because Fuji-san and her costars have seen EVERYTHING involving the Earth. At least as far back as to see creatures starting to go on land and such. It might be interesting to hear Fuji-san's opinion on a lot of things, but it would probably just involve her bouncing her breasts while fangirling about how much better Muromi's tail was back then.
Grade: A

Total Grades: 54
Average score: 6
Final Grade: C+

And that's it for this week. See you all-

Fuji-san: Wait! I still have one secret weapon!

Come on, we've already established that there's nothing you can do to distract me. Now, let me walk off while you're unable to follow as you care SO much about mermaids not going up on land.

Fuji-san: Oh yeah! How about THIS!

*Fuji-san holds up a large cucumber.*

Fuji-san: I managed to get this from Muromi's kappa friend. Now, watch as I.. what was it called that you like? Pie-suri? Anyway, just WATCH!

*Fuji-san places the large cucumber between her large breasts and starts stretching and moving her chest.*

Fuji-san: Well, is this doing anything for you?

*Topaz stares at this event, half in disgust but half in curiosity.*

Fuji-san: Fufufu, it looks like I finally got your attention! Now, for the finish- *puts the end of her cucumber into her mouth* Mmmm, aaaaa, so-GYAK!

*Fuji-san seems to hit the gag reflex in the back of her mouth as the large cucumber barely fits into her mouth. Coughing she spits it out and loses it in the water.*

I could say something here, but it could make me look bad. Instead, I'm just going to go home. Though Riri won't appreciate me taking TWO cold showers today...

*Topaz walks off as Fuji-san yells at him.*

Fuji-san: WELL FINE THEN! I'LL SHOW YOU! Next time we meet I'll be able to go on land, and then you'll be defeated!
Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 19, 2013 12:52 PM | Add a comment
It’s time to ditch the text file.
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